Boy Scouts

Mormons Dump Scouts


It seems every year there’s a new national spastic freak-out from conservatives over The Boy Scouts of America.

The BSA started letting homosexual and transgender scouts join, then they ended their ban on openly gay scout masters, and just about the time your Uncle Revis was picking himself up off the floor, the Scouts announced they’d start letting older girls join, and they were changing the name of their signature program, dropping the “Boy.”

The Boy Scouts of America will now be Scouts BSA, and girls will be able to earn the highest rank of Eagle Scout.

The Mormon Church, which still teaches that homosexual relationships are sinful, is ending their relationship with the BSA. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has been associated with the Scouts for the past 105 years. One in every five Boy Scouts in the USA is Mormon, and all Mormon boys were expected to be a Boy Scout.

Conservatives are celebrating this. Washington Times contributor Robert Knight wrote, “Resistance to the cultural insanity is growing. Last Tuesday, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints announced a parting of the ways with what used to be the Boy Scouts of America before it evolved into the Geldings of America, with its homosexual leaders, transgender members, real girls and a name change to rid itself of the dreaded word ‘Boy.'” Keep in mind, the Times is owned by the Moonies.

Mormon boys make up nearly 20% of the scouts with around 425,000 members. That would be a significant drop if they all choose to leave. However, the Cub Scouts which is allowing girls, have a membership of 1.25 million. The BSA, with a current membership around 800,000, may be hoping to reach that number with their new inclusiveness.

Another group not excited about this is the Girl Scouts. Last summer, the president of the Girl Scouts accused the Boy Scouts of America of trying to undermine the organization through a “covert campaign to recruit girls.” I’m not sure it’s very covert. I mean, the Mormons found out.

As for the Mormons’ departure, it may hurt the Scouts financially but I wouldn’t lose too much sleep over it. They have historically always been behind, and wrong, on social issues since their founding. The second president of the LDS, Brigham Young, had 55 wives. They lost count with Joseph Smith, the father of Mormonism, who had between 27-49 wives. The church didn’t allow black men to become priests until 1978, and for years even denied entrance for blacks into their temple.

I don’t want anything to hurt the Girl Scouts, which is a progressive and secular organization. But raising boys into young men with girls present is a good thing. It’ll teach them respect and that we’re all equals, except in most cases where girls are definitely better than you.

And, if Donald Trump ever speaks before the BSA again, maybe next time they won’t start chanting “lock her up.”

Creative note: Yeah, I changed the layout from horizontal to vertical for this cartoon. I wanted to have fun with it and it worked better with the canoe going up. I’m not sticking with it. I hope a few of my newspapers will use it and have fun with their page design.

Here’s the video.

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Nasty Boy Scouts


What do you call a woman who can fly a plane? A pilot. But, what do you call a girl who is a Boy Scout? That’s a head-scratcher for the moment.

I really am not concerned about the Boy Scouts allowing girls to join. It’s not like the organization is attempting to become modern and progressive. They are a very rigid Christian organization that has had to be dragged kicking and screaming into this century and to get over their homophobia. They’re not there yet.

I’m more concerned with how the Boy Scouts of America are influencing young men in how they should treat girls. After watching thousands of Boy Scouts cheer on Trump and chant “lock her up” at their jamboree, my concerns are valid. We don’t need today’s generation of assholes to teach little boys to be little assholes that grow into old assholes.

Conservatives are freaking out over allowing girls into the Boy Scouts. They believe its political correctness threatening an organization where individual troops are overwhelmingly affiliated with churches. Twenty percent of Boy Scouts are Mormon. They don’t want the Boy Scouts to become like the Girl Scouts, which is open-minded and fairly progressive.

Girl Scouts are a secular organization. While the Boy Scouts have an official policy against atheists and agnostics participating in scouting, the Girl Scouts make it clear girls may substitute any words they like for the part of the Girl Scout Pledge in which they promise “to serve God.”

The Girl Scouts have long focused on social justice, diversity and inclusion in their activities. They have provided financial support to organizations like Oxfam, Amnesty International, and Doctors Without Borders.

Conservatives have been hating on the Girl Scouts for several years now. A Catholic church in Kansas City doesn’t want anything to do with them, and anti-abortion zealots have gone so far to boycott their cookies. They will have you believe the Girl Scouts are raising girls to become angry militant lesbians hawking cookies that finance baby killing. Overpriced baby-killing cookies, but oh so delicious.

I never joined the Boy Scouts. I was a Cub Scout for a time but lost interest before this cub grew into a boy. I was kinda sort of honorary Girl Scout. My mom was a den mother and would host the meetings in our house in Elgin, Illinois from the time I was in kindergarten to the second grade. Even at that early age I liked girls and was not going to be excluded when my basement was full of girls two years older than me. I’m sure my older sister and step-sister, along with all the other girls, found me annoying. Girls still find me annoying.

I was never much for conformity or joining things. I did join 4-H for about a week because I followed a girl into it in the 5th grade. I quit after I realized all they talked about were cows and tractors. That was the same year I was in the school band for about two weeks. How much does one have to suck to get kicked out of the 5th grade school band?

Hopefully, with a few girls in the Boy Scouts, the boys will learn that girls are their equal…and usually better. At the very least, maybe they can be better than the conservatives I witnessed this week attacking the mayor of San Juan for wearing a “#Nasty” T-shirt. It boggled my mind she was being vilified for wear the shirt while those attacking her were giving a pass to the sexist old man who called her “nasty.”

There isn’t a better time than now to allow girls into the Boy Scouts. Maybe the next generation of young men can be better than Donald Trump.

Creative note: If you follow me on Twitter, then you already know this. I started drawing my cartoon at 3:00 AM. Around 5:00 AM, I got this idea and I liked it a lot better. My previous cartoon was almost done and I already had two cups of coffee, but I started over anyway.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Corrupting The Scouts


On Monday, Donald Trump tainted the Boy Scout Jamboree as if it was a Moscow hotel room.

Trump, who as President of the United States is the “honorary president of the Boy Scouts of America,” though he was never a Scout himself, probably because he got a deferment for bone spurs.

He started his speech promising not to get political, but much like everything else Trump says is a lie, he was lying. For the next 35 minutes, which is more time he spent with Don Jr., Eric, and Barron as kids, Trump treated 30,000 boys to riveting stories of his electoral victory and a rambling tale about a famous, now-deceased home builder that meandered from a Manhattan cocktail party to a yacht and then to places that the president would only allow the boys’ imaginations to go. Basically that story was, rich guy sold his company, bought a yacht, had a bunch of sex, and…shit, there was supposed to be a moral here.

Trump also spent the time campaigning for his secret health-care bill. It’s always been my belief that children shouldn’t have to worry or think about stuff like health care, taxes, Mommy’s boyfriends before she met Daddy, bone spurs, rich-guy-yacht sex, or the president’s fragile ego. Was it “yacht” sex or “yak” sex? Well, they shouldn’t be thinking about either. What kind of freaks are we raising? Anyway….

The Boy Scout “law” stipulates that Scouts are to be trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, reverent, and definitely not to be thinking about yak sex. Other than “thrifty,” none of those qualities are possessed by our man-boy president (no confirmation on the yak-sex thing).  Before the event, the Scouts were told on their official blog to be “courteous,” and “kind,” and to refrain from divisive political chants like “lock her up,” and “build a wall.” It seems the majority of the Scouts failed to read that blog as the bulk of them booed when Trump, proving he was the least mature among them (yak sex), started to bash Barack Obama for not attending a Jamboree in person when he was president. The event resembled less of a Boy Scout Jamboree and more like a Hitler Youth rally.

Trump must have dated Hillary when he was a kid (or in his dreams) because he’s never gotten over her and the Jamboree speech was another opportunity for him to dis her.

While talking about health care, he “jokingly” said he would fire Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price if the bill doesn’t pass. I think the passage of that bill is more on the president’s shoulders than a cabinet secretary’s. Trump says he won’t own Obamacare “when” it fails, and blames Republicans for not keeping their promise of repealing and replacing the Affordable Care Act. Trump forgets he made that same promise. In fact, I think it was supposed to be replaced with “something better” by this point. Being that I was conscious during 2016, I do recall something of that nature coming from Trump.

Trump also complained about the “fake news.” I’m going to stop using the term “fake news” except in context when Republicans use it. Much like “dry water” and “clean coal,” it’s an oxymoron. If the news is fake, then it’s not news. Trump used the term when predicting the media won’t report how large the Boy Scout crowd was that came out to see him. It was a large crowd, but they weren’t there just to see Trump.

When the “media” fails to report that Trump had a large crowd, it’s because he didn’t have a large crowd. He also calls them “fake” when they don’t support his lies about having large crowds, like the “biggest inauguration crowd ever.” Here’s some real news for Trump: The Boy Scout Jamboree is conducted over ten days. They weren’t just there for Trump.

Trump also talked about the jobs report, his tax-repatriation plan, and that under his administration, we can finally say “merry Christmas” again. I didn’t realize Obama had made that phrase illegal.

After enthralling the crowd of boys with the story of winning Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and that one electoral vote in Maine, Trump mentioned some laws of the Scouts, and he focused on “loyalty.” Trump (who also said D.C. is a “cesspool” or a “sewer”) said, “we could use some more loyalty, I will tell you that.”

When it comes to loyalty, who is Trump talking about? Friends, Republicans, his Attorney General, or the director of the FBI?

Parents, Donald Trump is not the example you want to set for your boys. He is not who you want them to be when they grow up. I know it’s sooner than you had planned, but you might need to have “the” talk with them. Not that talk. The other talk. You need to explain to the future men of America just what is a douche bag and why they don’t want to be one. You’ll need a photo of Donald Trump for this talk.

Seriously, next time…just send them to Vegas.

Personal note: I have a bad history with the Boy Scout Jamboree. It wasn’t their fault. It was my editor’s. In the summer of 2001, the Jamboree (which is held every four years) was being held in Caroline County, here in Virginia and very close to my city. My editor, who always loved sucking up, really wanted me to draw a “welcome Boy Scouts” cartoon. I did not want to do that since that wouldn’t be an actual cartoon. I’m really difficult to work with when you expect me to draw pointless kiss-ass, crappy cartoons. So, I resisted.

We had a few talks, then a few screaming matches, and I finally drew a “welcome Scouts” cartoon, which I didn’t even sign. He even told me beforehand it could be something as simple as “welcome Scouts,” and then he got mad that that’s exactly what I did (and it sucked as much as you can imagine). The next week, he tried to fire me.

His firing failed, but they put me on some super-secret-quadruple probation thing I still don’t really understand. I argued that I did exactly what he wanted. His argument was, I didn’t want to do it and I questioned his direction. Seriously.

My probation required (over different time frames he pulled out of his ass), that I draw a nice cartoon on something that would benefit the community (like an anti-litter cartoon), a cartoon that says something nice about somebody (that was easy as someone’s always dying), and a cartoon on a subject that is not a news subject. Seriously. An editor at a newspaper wanted a cartoon once a month or so that wasn’t on any issue. That was Hell for a cartoonist. Call me crazy and spoiled, but I always thought being a cartoonist was supposed to be fun and not something where you go to work thinking “fuck!”

There was one more requirement which I turned to my advantage. I was to pick a subject I felt strongly about and I was to draw a cartoon about it as often as I could. He was expecting me to pick something like people who play music too loud, saggy pants, or hey, there’s a ridiculous amount of squirrels in the city park this year. I chose race relations. He didn’t like that. He took me back to human resources (again) where it was pointed out that I did exactly what he stipulated.

So basically, I got put on probation because I disagreed with my editor which is something everybody does at one point or another. But, I never had to meet any of his requirements (though I did plenty of cartoons on race relations). Why? Because, September 11th happened. That threw everything out the window for everybody. So, 9/11, as horrible as it was, actually saved my job. I lasted in that job until 2012. And, I even became more liberal over time (they hired me expecting a conservative cartoonist). I don’t know how I wasn’t fired before eventually being laid off eleven years later.

Again, none of that was the actual Scouts’ fault or problem. My editor was kind of a jerk and I can be too, especially when you step on my work.

My editor had lightened up considerably when the Jamboree rolled around again four years later, and he told me he didn’t expect me to do anything on it. He didn’t want that fight again, and I didn’t either. As it turns out, all sorts of crap happened that year at the Jamboree, so I did at least two cartoons over the next ten days on it. I didn’t draw any “welcome Scouts” cartoons though.

I’m going to write a really interesting book someday.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.