Blazing Saddles

White Women White House


cjones05232020

The highlight of Chris Cuomo’s and Don Lemon’s individual shows on CNN is when one show leads into the next. These two guys truly are friends as they josh about the news, go at each other a little bit, and make each other laugh. It’s not as good as when Andrew Cuomo goes on his brother Chris’ show, but it’s good. Last night’s handoff was very interesting.

Chris ended his show on the news that Donald Trump refuses to have a portrait unveiling for President Barack Obama in the White House. For President Obama’s part, that’s a huge relief.

It’s a tradition that goes way back. Presidents have done it for their predecessors, even when they’re of a different party. President Obama did it for President George W. Bush. President Bill Clinton did it for President George H. W. Bush, a man he had a brutal campaign against.

American presidents are in an exclusive club. I believe they don’t see each other as Republicans and Democrats after they leave the office and view each other more as presidents. Presidents often ask former presidents for advice because there are very few people who have been in their shoes. Donald Trump refuses to do that. He insults former presidents. He believes he’s better, greater, and smarter than any of them and he’s cleaning up after all of them while taking credit for their accomplishments. If Donald Trump had succeeded President Abraham Lincoln, he would have taken credit for the Emancipation Proclamation. Of course, if Trump had succeeded Lincoln, there would have been a lot more questions about the shooter.

None of our living presidents like Donald Trump. Why? Because he’s a vile human being. Future presidents will never ask Donald Trump for advice partly because he’s not someone you want any advice from about anything and…he’s not going to be in the club. Donald Trump has no idea what it’s like to serve as president because he hasn’t acted or worked as president. When a reporter asks him what his plans are about a specific topic, like restarting the economy after the shutdown, he screams it’s a “nasty question.” He doesn’t have plans for the country. Donald Trump only has plans for Donald Trump.

So we have this unveiling situation. A lot of people would say now is not the time for this sort of finger-sandwich type of presentation in the midst of a pandemic. Things are not back to normal yet. Even if these two could tolerate each other, the focus should be on the economy. But, even if things were great right now and Donald Trump hadn’t destroyed the economy President Obama had left him…there would still be this issue.

This brings us back to Chris Cuomo who chastised both presidents, President Obama and Trump, for refusing to play together. This refusal to do the portrait unveiling is viewed by many as the complete death of all bipartisanship and the last casualty of the political divide. Cuomo gave a passionate plea for both presidents to get along…for the sake of the country. Then, he handed it off to Don Lemon.

Don Lemon was still in the process of sitting down when he said, “I wouldn’t go to that thing.” While Cuomo was arguing about bipartisanship and civility, Lemon was saying, “fuck that shit.”

I’m with Don Lemon. I wouldn’t go either.

There were a couple of former friends in town that over the years, I thought we had developed a non-verbal agreement that we never talked to each other. We’d see each other in public and say hi to our mutual friends, but not to each other. We wouldn’t’ have words or start anything…we just wouldn’t talk. I thought it was a great system. It was a well-oiled machine humming along beautifully that wasn’t to be questioned. I really enjoyed not having to say hello to either one of them. Then, one day, one of them said hi. I was like, “What the hell, Fucko?” I thought we had an agreement. Did you forget we don’t like each other, with me especially not liking you? Sheesh! Soon after, the other one came up to me one day as if nothing ever happened between me and his ex-girlfriend and started talking like it was old times. Good god, what’s going on around here? Why is our system breaking down? It was beautiful! It was working for me, I really liked it, and your ex was totally worth it. Anyway, I imagine President Obama feels the same way with Donald Trump. He probably doesn’t want the fake greetings and would definitely not want to go to his house. Yeah, screw that.

If President Obama went to the White House and sat through Donald Trump saying nice things about him, what sort to look would President Obama and Michelle have on their faces? Nobody would buy it. Donald Trump hasn’t just criticized President Obama’s politics. Trump has called President Obama “incompetent.” During President Obama’s term, Donald Trump was a huge advocate of the racist birther campaign that Obama was born in Kenya. Trump said he was sending investigators to find out the truth. We never heard anything else about those investigators, but Donald Trump harped on the birther issue until he ran for president (it disappeared as if it never happened). After he became president, Donald Trump accused President Obama of wiretapping Trump Tower. Now, he says President Obama has committed the “biggest crime in American history.” Maybe President Obama should go to the White House just to ask Donald Trump what that specific crime is because Trump hasn’t told anybody.

On top of all that, Donald Trump is using his racism against President Obama to appeal even more to his racist base in his campaign to be reelected.

Even if Donald Trump never bashed President Obama, it would be unsavory for Obama to partake in some shitshow presentation at the White House after all the vile and inhumane things Trump has said about other people. I don’t think President Obama is being petty at all. It’s Donald Trump who is being petty.

After all, it’s Donald Trump who can’t stop talking about President Obama. When you hate someone so much that you can’t even use the facts but have to make stuff up about them…then they’re living rent-free inside your head. Donald Trump has a huge problem with President Obama.

And what is Donald Trump’s problem with President Obama other than him being of a different party and race than Trump? Donald Trump hates President Obama because President Obama is better than Donald Trump. President Obama is better than Donald Trump in every way. He’s more popular than Donald Trump. He’s smarter than Donald Trump. He’s more accomplished than Donald Trump. He’s better educated than Donald Trump. President Obama won the popular vote…TWICE. Good people like President Obama. Only vile, racist, stupid people like Donald Trump. Donald Trump even has to pay his kids to like him.

It’s like the old joke: If Donald Trump had a dog, he’d have to tie a pork chop around his neck to get the dog to play with him.

And, President Obama is more accomplished than Donald Trump. Even the accomplishments Donald Trump claims belong to President Obama.

And when it comes to the portraits, President Obama’s will be better looking than Donald Trump’s. President Obama gets to go through life as Barack Obama and Donald Trump has to go through life being Donald Trump. And you know what…Donald Trump hates being Donald Trump.

Creative note: Last week, I caught a lot of shit for my “Jogger” cartoon. A newspaper in Tennessee ran it then had to publish a letter from the editor explaining why they ran it and they still respected their conservative community. But even some liberals called me a racist for it. I hate to explain a cartoon, but even after I told a couple of them no, I wasn’t trying to frame President Obama the way racists do, they still insisted I was and had put hidden messages in my cartoon. They acted as though I was some undercover agent sent from 4chan. Obliviously, they have not followed me for years.

But, I don’t worry about those people. I don’t try to change my work for people who can’t understand satire, whether they’re liberal or conservative. And, I don’t care if people accuse me of being a racist because I’m not a racist. Usually, the only people who accuse me of being racist are racists. What I’m saying is, there will probably be more of that generated by this cartoon.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Gene Wilder


cjones08302016

I hate obituary cartoons. I mean I really hate them. I hate the St. Peter imagery and the Heaven thing. Bleagh!

After losing my job in 2012 I thought “I’ll start my own syndicate and nobody will make me draw nice cartoons ever again.” I’m going to remain irreverent and original. It keeps me poor but I’ve mostly stood by my principles.

It’s not that I don’t like nice stuff. I just don’t think they’re editorial cartoons. They’re terrible. This cartoon is terrible and I bet you love it. My clients are going to love it.

Here’s why I drew it: I dropped an N-bomb in yesterday’s cartoon. I knew some, if not most of my clients would hate it. But I really wanted to make that statement. I felt after dropping the dirty word, even with asterisks, that I should do something nice for my newspapers.

Two clients wrote to tell me they hated the dirty word cartoon. One client (in Texas) dropped me. But when I sent the cartoon to my newspapers I attached a message that I knew it was a dangerous cartoon but I’d try to do something much softer tomorrow. I didn’t expect this but I did this.

I was thinking what would a horrible cartoonist do with Gene Wilder’s death. What would be just so sickening sweet that it’d make me groan? I thought of this without any effort. Then I thought I’d go ahead and do it kind of on a lark. I also drew it without much effort. I even threw in an Oompa Loompa. It’ll make a national publication. Watch. The Oompa will seal the deal.

It did help that I love Gene Wilder. He was awesome in so many things and not just a great and funny actor, he could write. He co-wrote Young Frankenstein which many believe is the greatest comedy of all time. It’s hard to argue against that. My personal favorite however is Blazing Saddles.

One thing I found interesting were a few memes I saw where people said Wilder and Richard Pryor are reunited. Gee that’s nice. Hey, maybe he’ll see his wife up there.

But hey, if I’m going to do a bad obituary cartoon, I’m going to do a really good bad obituary cartoon. Nobody’s going to have the gobstopper idea. Even if it is ridiculous.

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