Updates For Dummies


Republicans love to respond to accusations with the art of deflection. It’s puzzling.

If you bring up Trump’s collusion with Russia they respond by attacking Hillary Clinton and demand more investigations into her. Never mind the fact she’s been investigated by the GOP for the past 20 years, and they’ve never pinned anything on her.

If you bring up the accusations against Trump sexually assaulting women, and the fact he’s bragged about it, they bring up Bill Clinton’s sexual scandals…from over 20 years ago.

If you don’t have a defense then you go on offense. Republicans can’t defend Russiagate. They claim the FBI is tainted, or that Hillary Clinton is evil…which doesn’t have anything to do with Trump’s dalliance with Putin. They like to scream it’s a hoax and “fake news,” even as guilty pleas and indictments pile up.

Even if everything they say about a liberal, Democrat, former president, former candidate, etc, are true, how does that actually prove the innocence of their guys? Conservative logic relies on not using any.

With outdated arguments, you have to wonder where these conservatives are getting their news and information. Maybe they’re still tooling around on the web with iPhones from years ago.

Apple is facing seven class-action lawsuits from several states over accusations they sent updates to users’ phones which would slow down the phones, and ultimately frustrate the users enough to purchase new phones. Of course, they’re addicted to the iPhone so it’s not likely their replacement phone will be a Samsung Galaxy.

In case you didn’t know, new iPhones are expensive. When you see a deal on a phone offering hundreds of dollars off, like I’ve seen for iPhones, you know that crap is expensive. Phones are actually being sold now with payment plans. What the hell is this stuff? Photoshop?

The iPhone users simply could have bought new batteries instead of a new phone. Several people claim that when they called Apple for assistance, they were never advised to replace the battery. Does this surprise anyone?

I’m glad I’m fairly satisfied with a cheap smartphone. I need to surf the internet when I’m away from home/office, reply to emails, and be able to edit my site. My $70 Samsung Galaxy on my $30 GoPhone plan usually lets me do one of those things. Granted, the memory was nearly entirely full from all the useless apps when I purchased it. I can’t open photos on the phone but I can send them through text and email. I know I can buy an SD card, but I’m lazy and the stuff isn’t that important to me. Besides, nobody ever calls or texts me anymore unless it’s something really annoying that definitely could be handled over email. But, I digress.

But, what is the deal with Republicans and these weak defenses? Do they need new phones or new batteries? Maybe they just need new brains. What they have now isn’t working for them.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

One For The Hackers


I decided to take the kids hacking into an iPhone cliche and roll it into the cliche of only millennials voting for Bernie.

I saw a lot of cartoons and heard a lot of jokes about the FBI needing children to hack into an iPhone and how young voters, and those not old enough to vote, love Bernie Sanders. I thought I’d make fun of the lazy jokes. Ha ha.

Regarding the iPhone thing, I do think it’s funny Apple didn’t want to give the FBI any information but now that the FBI has hacked into it, Apple wants the Feds to tell them how they did it. Are they serious?

And on the youth vote going for Bernie: Yeah. They do love him. He’s radical, as in what’s new, hasn’t been tried before, and makes a lot of sense and is progressive, appeals to the youth. They see how the older generation has been running things and they’re not too “keen” on it. Who can blame them? It’s not all about free stuff. It’s more about taking our resources away from where it doesn’t help and applying it to where it does. That’s very radical.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Taylor Swift Takes A Bite Out Of Apple


Here’s this week’s cartoon for The Daily Dot.

I’m a little familiar with Taylor Swift’s music. A few years ago a few girls I know, who are all much younger than I am, introduced me to her music. I didn’t really have a choice. I don’t know everything she’s done and I haven’t listened to anything new of hers in a long time. But I found a few song titles that might have worked for this cartoon other than the one I settled on. Those songs are “Mine” and “Mean” and “I Knew You Were Trouble.”

I do like some of her music. She’s a real songwriter and I like what she stands up for.

Here’s the rough.


You Too?



Six days ago the rock band U2 released their new album, Songs Of Innocence, and in a partnership with Apple, dumped the apple on over 500 million iTunes accounts.

One way to look at it is “Wow!  I got U2’s new album for free.  Thank you, Apple!  Thank you, U2.”  Yeah, you got something for free you didn’t even ask for.  How about that?

Another way to look at it is “how freaking presumptuous are you, U2?”

Several months ago I was at a restaurant and someone who worked at a very popular tattoo parlor in town put a bumper sticker for their establishment on my car.  They felt their place was so cool I should have been grateful for the free gift on my rear window.  Never mind the fact I didn’t ask for it.  Yeah, I could just scratch it off, but I wasn’t looking for a new chore of scratching their advertisement off my car.

That’s kinda the same way with this U2 and Apple spam dump.  If you don’t want it then you can simple hide it from your iTunes account (apparently it can’t be deleted) and if you’re not careful you might hit some sort of order thingy in the process and end up buying songs you don’t want.  I don’t know how it technically works as I don’t have an iTunes account.  I still manually place CDs into a CD player….all while dragging my knuckles.

It’s a shame U2 has to be such pretentious pricks.  They assume everyone wants their album.  They used to be a rebel sort of band.  Now they’re totally corporate and spamming all of civilization with music that I’m pretty sure is going to suck as they haven’t released a good song since the early 90’s.

Did I mention they’re pretentious?  On their last tour they hit the road with a huge stage monstrosity they dubbed “the claw.”  They used three of these 167 feet tall monsters (so they could set up in other cities while playing) and it took 120 trucks to cart it around.  They stated at the end of the 210 dates tour that they would donate each of the three Claws to different cities to become permanent structures because who doesn’t want a U2 memorial in their city?

OK, so they’re not as bad as Hitler.  They’re just making music I don’t like and forcing it on people.  As a musician I find the band’s destroying the economic structure for newer bands more troubling.  U2 doesn’t have to sell albums, CDs or downloads anymore (obviously).  They make most of their money touring.  A new band needs every cent and exposure they can get.  Who’s going to buy music if it’s given away?  A new band you have never heard of can’t afford to give it away.

Bono is a very charitable individual.  I’ll give him that.  His band made great music a long time ago.  They present themselves as working toward what’s best for everyone.  In this case they’re only doing what’s best for U2 while it destroys potential music careers for others.