Alex Jones

Nothing But The No-Truth


CjonesRGB11262021

You can’t expect a Trump cultist to straight up tell the truth, but you can get the truth out of them if you understand Trump talk. It’s pretty simple actually. If a Trumper says someone did something, that means they did it. If they say there’s election fraud, it’s their election fraud. “Election integrity” means making it harder for minorities to vote. If they say they have a “black friend,” that means they’re racist. When they say they’re “constitutionalists,” that means “let’s destroy the Constitution.” When one of them says he’s the “best negotiator” ever, it means he’d trade all of our nuclear secrets to Vladimir Putin for a Happy Meal. “Grab them by the pussy” means grab them by the pussy.

So, what does the January 6 Committee hope to gain from sending subpoenas a bunch of gaslighting liars? The first thing they might get is having all these jackholes sent to prison. Steve Bannon, who was not a member of the Trump administration at the time of the white nationalist insurrection, or a lawyer, claimed executive privilege. He’s not even an executive. All he can claim is white privilege (dammit. Another cartoonist is going to read this blog and steal that). Now, he’s facing some serious jail time.

Mark Meadows was Trump’s chief-of-staff at the time and he has a better argument than Bannon does for executive privilege…and even then, his argument sucks. Here’s the thing, kids (and it’s going to come as a shock to some of you), Donald Trump is NOT president.

No, Donald Trump is not president because he lost the election to the man who is now president, Joe Biden. President Joe Biden beat Donald Trump by over seven million votes. He beat Trump’s ass like he owned it though not literally. Nobody wants to own that ass. But anyway, if you’re NOT president, you can’t cite executive privilege. Even then you can’t claim executive privilege for anything you want. It’s not a rich baby’s candy store.

But it’s the current president, Joe Biden because he spanked that ass, who can claim executive privilege. And in this case, he said, “Nope.” But, Trumpers don’t believe him because they don’t believe in the Constitution. We only have one president at a time, and it’s not Trump…because he lost a free and fair election to Joe Biden. Again, he spanked that orange ass.

So, Mark Meadows will not get away without testifying. Meadows was a big part of the Big Lie. He even tried to get the Justice Department to investigate voting machines being tampered with by Italian Satellites. I think the Justice Department officials who read Meadow’s memo should be forced to testify too…so they can tell us how hard they laughed.

Kayleigh McEnany has been a Trump goon since she bailed from being a Cruz goon. On her first day as White House spokesgoon, she lied by saying she’d never lie. McEnany now works for Fox News and has a new book out. I’m sure she’ll use both platforms for only telling the truth. McEnany was still serving as Trump’s spokesgoon at the time of the insurrection while also working as a campaign adviser which is illegal. You can’t work for a campaign and the government at the same time. But then again, using government property for a political convention is supposed to be illegal too.

McEnany spread lies about election fraud from the podium in the White House press room. She was present while Trump was giddily watching the white nationalist attack on the Capital building.

Trump Campaign goon Jason Miller was subpoenaed. He was a player in spreading election fraud lies and trying to convince legislators to overturn the election in their states. Miller was a contributor to CNN but left in 2018 after being accused of drugging his mistress.

Stephen Miller was director of Trump’s racism department and another spreader of election fraud lies. He may have been subpoenaed just to see if he appears with spray-on hair.

Alex Jones and Roger Stone were also recipients of the January 6 Committee’s subpoenas. Both of these guys are notable liars. Stone is a self-described “dirty trickster” who has a Richard Nixon tattoo on his back. Alex Jones is a right-wing liar and conspiracy theorist who uses his website, InfoWars, and his podcasts to spread them. Last week, a Connecticut court ruled he was liable for spreading defamation about the Sandy Hook school shooting. These guys are the crap that crap craps. You will have to learn how to read right-wing tea leaves to get anything out of them. Both men were a huge part of planning and promoting the insurrection.

If all these goons testify, it will be impossible for each of them NOT to perjure themselves. I’m looking forward to it by stocking up on popcorn.

These goons shouldn’t just go to prison if they defy these subpoenas. No, they should also be charged for their parts in an insurrection against the U.S. government.

And when all this crap goes to prison, I hope they take an orange turd with them.

Creative note: I actually got this idea after I went to bed. Then I laid awake for over an hour wondering how I was going to draw Stephen Miller laughing. This morning, I decided not to. Another thing, I labeled Miller with his full name because I was planning to include another liar named “Miller,” Jason Miller. Then I forgot.
And another thing, this might be the first time I’ve drawn Representative Bennie Thompson since I lived in Mississippi back in the 1990s.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Hater Purge


cjones05072019

Last Friday, Donald Trump tweeted, “I am continuing to monitor the censorship of AMERICAN CITIZENS on social media platforms. This is the United States of America — and we have what’s known as FREEDOM OF SPEECH! We are monitoring and watching, closely!!” He also accused Facebook of mistreating Diamond & Silk, a couple of Trump sycophants who have a fan page on the platform. Trump tweeted that they’ve been “treated so horribly by Facebook” and “we’re looking into it.”

Trump doesn’t have time to bring up election meddling in an hour-long phone call with Russian president Vladimir Putin, where somehow he was able to see that Putin was smiling, but he has plenty of time to monitor the “censorship of American citizens” on social media platforms and time to “look into it.”

Donald Trump does NOT care about censorship. In fact, he’s all for it as he’s threatened the First Amendment and press freedoms multiple times. He’s stated the press should be sued for “fake news,” which is news he doesn’t like, and that the press shouldn’t be allowed to publish whatever they want.

What Trump doesn’t like is when social media limits or kicks conspiracy theorists and hate mongers, who are supporters of his, to the curb. He proved that the other night in his outrage and tweetstorm over Facebook and Instagram kicking off haters, racists, Nazi lovers, and conspiracy theorists like Alex Jones, Paul Joseph Watson, Milo Yiannopoulos, Paul Nehlen, and Laura Loomer. Louis Farrakhan was also expunged from the platforms but Trump didn’t mention him. Gee, I wonder why.

I have had cartoons removed by Instagram and one video removed by YouTube. When that happens, I get annoyed because whoever made that decision can’t tell the difference between hate-mongering and content attacking hate-mongering. Sheesh. Usually, when this happens, I don’t get too angry or upset as it’s pretty much out of my hands. I’ll make the removal public information and move on with my life. But even when I feel the removal is unjustified I don’t call it censorship…because it’s not.

“Censorship” is a very popular charge when something you like is removed. But 99% of the time, it’s not censorship. The same people who scream that a baker should be allowed to refuse customers ordering gay wedding cakes also scream that privately-owned platform should provide every fucknut in the world an outlet for their hate and fear mongering.

If I kick you out of my house because you dropped an N-bomb, I didn’t deprive you of your freedom of speech. The same goes for the comments on this website. You can still drop N-bombs in this country, but I don’t have an obligation to provide you an outlet for it. Neither does Facebook, YouTube, or Twitter. Yes, they are public platforms but they’re not government owned.

Trump and conservatives only care about their freedom of speech, not yours. This is also another opportunity for the crowd that loves to accuse liberals of being “snowflakes” to act like snowflakes. White Republicans love to play the victims while they’re beating down on other people. Republicans are the whiniest, thin-skinned babies on the planet. If they don’t have something to have actual outrage over, they’ll invent one.

Many of the people removed by social media were spreading false information and hate. Right-wing actor and crazy pants James Woods has been removed from Twitter for posting content they believe incites violence. Donald Trump has retweeted hate videos and false information from AltRight hate groups. One of his supporters mailed bombs to Democrats, critics, and journalists who Trump has attacked on Twitter. A Pittsburgh synagogue was shot up, killing eleven, by a man who had posted the same wolf whistles, keywords, and conspiracy theories shared by Trump.

Donald Trump shares fake information. He’s a fear mongerer and he incites violence. Even after violence occurs, he doesn’t stop. Donald Trump is the hater president who actively seeks to divide this nation. He has not been banned by Twitter.

There is not a law that says a sitting president can’t be indicted. It’s just a Justice Department policy. Just as stupid is Twitter’s apparent policy that a sitting president can’t be banned from their platform, no matter how much he advocates for his followers to commit violence.

Twitter has removed thousands of bots from Trump’s followers which has enraged him. He needs all the followers he can get, even the fake ones if he’s ever going to catch up to Obama’s number of followers. What Twitter needs to do while removing the bots is to go after the Russian trolls, like Donald Trump.

Twitter, put your money where your mouth is and ban Donald Trump. His tweetstorm over that would be epic…oh wait.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Troll


cjones08132018

Conservatives and other assorted nutzoids were up to their tinfoil hats in anger this week as Facebook, YouTube, Google and Spotify banned the InfoWars conspiracy freak, Alex Jones from their platforms.

Alex was banned for all sorts of violations, which included posting “fake news” and just being an all-around troll (every conspiracy in this cartoon was created by Alex except two. I created those and I’ll let you try to figure out which two).

Twitter issued a statement in the form of a tweet, from their CEO Jack Dorsey explaining why they are letting Alex Jones stick around. In one of Dorsey’s tweets, he wrote, “Accounts like Jones’ can often sensationalize issues and spread unsubstantiated rumors, so it’s critical journalists document, validate, and refute such information directly so people can form their own opinions. This is what serves the public conversation best..”

Sensationalize issues? Unsubstantiated rumors? Was it sensationalizing to say that Sandy Hook was a hoax and nobody was actually murdered? Is it merely an unsubstantiated rumor that the FBI plotted the Boston Marathon bombing?

What the New York Daily News puts on their front pages is sensationalizing. When CNN reports that anonymous White House sources are saying the president is afraid his son is in legal trouble for lying and engaging in a conspiracy with a foreign power, that’s a rumor with some substantiation. What Alex Jones does is neither. The professional term in the journalism industry for what Alex Jones does is “bullshit.”

Dorsey wants critical journalists to “document, validate, and refute such information directly so people can form their own opinions.” But what those people usually do is scream “fake news” when a conspiracy is debunked, and cling to whatever makes them feel squishy inside about their confirmation bias. Just mention the word “Snopes” to a conservative and watch them lose their minds.

With that said, for the most part, Alex Jones has all the freedom in this nation to spout horse crap (with assorted lawsuits here and there). At the same time, Facebook, YouTube, Google, and Spotify have the freedom to kick him to the curb. They are not government platforms. They are businesses.

Conservatives need to get their outrages in proper working order. You can’t be screaming about a business not allowing Alex Jones to post his “opinions” (opinions should be based on facts, but we’ll argue that another day), but demand that the NFL force all their athletes to stand for an anthem. You can’t demand that social media platforms give equal service to conspiracy nuts while also arguing that a baker has the right to refuse to make a gay wedding cake. But, I bet if the customer wanted a green tinfoil-wearing troll on that cake, you’d demand the baker to make it.

For people who like to call liberals “snowflakes,” conservatives sure are a bunch of snowflakes.

Alex Jones has made a lot of money on bullshit. He’s rich. He’s not going to let this assault on his ability to profit off crapola go without a conspiracy. He’s blaming the ban on “deep state actors.”

I keep waiting for conservatives to boycott Facebook like they always promise. But they don’t. If they did, they’d be sure to post on Facebook how they’re boycotting Facebook. You’d think they’d be content with 4Chan, 8Chan, InfoWars, Breitbart, the Daily Stormer, and all the other assorted hate sites. I found out just yesterday they’re all over Instagram because they let me know they didn’t like my Trump Hollywood Star cartoon one bit.

But, they need to post where liberals, moderates, and other rational types will see them. It’s like that old saying; If a tree falls in the woods and there’s no one around to hear a conservative call it a “libtard,” is that conservative still an unimaginative troll with an IQ lower than his sister’s shoe size? Probably.

Creative note, sorta: It is very unlikely that I’m related to Alex Jones. My dad’s story on who his father was constantly changed, so there’s a good chance I shouldn’t even be a Jones. Leave it to Alex Jones to destroy all the cool points I got from Indiana Jones.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

Watch me draw.

 

If You’re Gullible…


cjones07042017

When I heard there was a story about NASA running a child slave colony on Mars, I thought it was coming from the Weekly World News. It sounds like something produced by the same people who gave us Bat Boy and Hitler’s brain in a jar. But apparently, people who get their news from conservative conspiracy theorists have their brains in a jar…or up their ass.

Instead of coming from a supermarket tabloid, the NASA slave colony story came from a source that’s on 118 radio stations nationwide and whose host was told by the president of the United States of America that his reputation is “amazing” and he would “win a Pulitzer in a long gone time of unbiased journalism.”

The Alex Jones Show (the same source that gave us the Pizzagate conspiracy theory that Hillary Clinton’s campaign was running a child sex ring in the basement of a D.C. pizza shop that doesn’t have a basement), gave credence to the NASA Mars colony conspiracy. What is it with Alex Jones, who was recently given prime time coverage by Megan Kelly, wanting to believe in children-sex-slaves conspiracies? He has a really sick mind.

The rumor gained so much traction, which isn’t helped by Trump’s belief and promotion of bullshit, that NASA actually had to issue an official denial that they are NOT running a child slave colony on Mars.

I’m really starting to lose faith in society. It’s like people will believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows, oh wait. As it turns out, there’s a shit ton of people who believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows. Granted, it was an online survey conducted by a dairy council, but it found that seven percent of Americans believe the brown cow story. You may think seven percent isn’t that bad, but seven percent of our nation is over 16 million people. That’s the population of Pennsylvania (which went to Donald Trump, by the way). In the interest of full disclosure, before I moved to Hawaii in 1997 I thought pineapples grew on trees.

If you believe NASA is operating a child-sex-ring on Mars and that chocolate milk isn’t produced by cocoa and sugar, but brown cows, then you will probably have faith that the Republican Congress can be trusted to repeal Obamacare, and replace it….eventually.

The Republicans controlled Congress during the Clinton and George W. Bush years. They never showed any interest in providing healthcare to Americans. During the Obama years, they voted to repeal the Affordable Healthcare Act multiple times, but never produced a replacement. It’s been over six months since they gained control of the White House, Senate and House, and they’ve yet to produce a workable healthcare plan. One might suspect that they just screamed and bitched for seven years without any ideas of their own. Hmmmm.

Donald Trump promised America that when Obamacare is repealed that it would be replaced immediately with “something better.” Now he’s buying into the Rand Paul idea of repealing now and replacing later. Rand Paul doesn’t like the government. He hates government spending on anything. If Obamacare is repealed I don’t expect him to produce any replacement ideas.

The Republicans floating this plan say there will be a deadline to deliver a replacement in a year. What happens if that deadline isn’t met? What coverage for Americans during that time frame? What about Americans lacking coverage when the GOP doesn’t deliver? If they repeal without replacing, they will not deliver. They’ve never cared in the past, they don’t care now, and they won’t care in the future. Repealing Obamacare now isn’t to help Americans with health insurance. It’s to deliver huge tax breaks for the rich.

Another threat from this idea is that we’ll move on from replacing Obamacare, and demand that the GOP have a replacement when they repeal. We can’t let them trick us into forgetting that repealing Obamacare is a really bad idea. They shouldn’t repeal Obamacare at all. They need to work with Democrats to make it better. The biggest problem Republicans and Trump have with Obamacare is that it’s called “Obamacare.”

The sad thing is, Trump’s supporters will believe he’ll eventually replace Obamacare. Of course, they also believe they’ll be fine if Obamacare is repealed because they’re covered by the Affordable Care Act. This is the same group that believes Trump won the popular vote, has the biggest crowds, was wiretapped by Obama, and that Trump will make America great again.

And they probably believe that brown cow Martian horse shit too.

Creative note: Yes, I took the Martian from the Tim Burton movie Mars Attacks. My regular readers know that I have a fondness for inserting movies that I love into my cartoons. Mars Attacks is not one of them. Great filmmaker. Huge star-studded cast. Yet, it totally sucked. Have you ever noticed that the more stars inserted in a film always means it’s going to be a terrible movie? Though with Mars Attacks, I still think the “ack ack ack ack” is funny.

It’s really hard being a one-man syndicate when editors (who receive death threats from Trump supporters) are afraid of cartoons with opinions, while I’m also competing against other syndicates with dozens of cartoonists (who offer lots of right-wing cartoons and the kind without any opinions). So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $50 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.