2nd Amendment

Fun With Interpretations

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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

In addition to struggling with having no senses of humor, being oblivious to their own hypocrisy, failing wildly at using equivalences, and not having any understanding of irony, Republicans suck at comprehension. Sure, sometimes they do understand what was said or what they’re reading and they choose to conceal, bury, or lie about it, but that’s heaped on top of their inadequacy with the smarts.

Republicans love to identify themselves as “constitutionalists,” which is a joke because like with most things they claim, they’re the exact opposite. It’s like when they claim they’re more patriotic than anyone else while supporting an insurrection because they lost an election. That insurrection brings us back to the Constitution because these constitutionalists were trying to stop Congress from certifying the election…a process instructed by…wait for it…the United States Constitution.

Lately, Trump supporters are screaming about the 25th Amendment, probably because someone at Fox News pointed it out and explained it poorly. The 25th is something they harumphed out of the room when when Tiny was talking about injecting disinfectant and incoherently rambling “woman, man, person, camera, TV.” But there’s only one constitutional amendment Republicans usually talk about and that’s the Second Amendment.

The hilarious thing about Republicans and the Second Amendment is that it’s their entire creed. It’s what they cling to and have wrapped their entire gun-humping existence onto. Yet, even though the horny-for-guns crowd has used the Second to justify their entire lifestyle of walking into Dunkins’ strapped for bear and Black-Lives-Matter protesters, they leave out, not just a portion of the Second, but half the flipping sentence they base everything on.

The Second Amendment states, “A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.” But when a Republican gun-humper quotes it, he only reads, ” the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.” They leave out the first half of the sentence. Do you know why? Because the Second Amendment is LESS about guns and more about “well-regulated militias.” Sure, militias are armed but that doesn’t mean you get to stockpile AKs by the dozen in your shower.

Somehow, “well-regulated militia” got tossed and the interpretation has been warped to mean every maniac in the nation has a right to own every sort of gun that has ever been invented. Any regulation of this, such as background checks, waiting periods, limits on ammunition sales, preventing sales to minors, stopping minors from transporting automatic rifles across state lines to shoot black people, preventing sales to Jihadists at gun shows, preventing sales to anti-Semites, Islamophobes, and Trump supporters with internet manifestos, or preventing insane people in general from owning guns is considered by Republicans as “infringement.” And goddammit, the Constitution says their right to dry-hump an Uzi “shall not be infringed.”

Leaving out half of the first sentence in the Second Amendment would be like religious fucks only counting a few of the Commandments Moses brought down from the mountain. Oh, wait. They’re been doing that for the past five years for Donald Trump.

Number one: “I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt not have any gods before Me.” Oops. If you’re a Trump supporter, you are literally in a cult for Mr. Two Corinthians. If you’re a fundamentalist Trump supporter, in the style of the way gun-rubbers do with the Second Amendment, you’d only quote, “I am the Lord thy God.” That’s it. Nothing about not having “any gods before me.”

Number two: “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.” You fucked that one up too. GropenFuhrer has been known to take the Lord’s name in vain. At a rally, in public, while talking about Islamists, he said, “They’ll be hit so goddamn hard.” At that very same rally, he said, “If you don’t support me, you’re going to be so goddamn poor.” If you’re a fundamentalists Trump supporter, you’re such a goddamn hypocrite.

Number three: “Remember to keep holy the Sabbath day.” Did you ever see Trump in church, where he said is where you go to, “drink your little wine and eat your little cracker?” For Trump, church was to only be used for photo-ops. Only crackers support Trump.

Number four: “Honor thy father and mother.” I’ll give you this one. Trump seemed very fond of his racist crooked father. I probably would be too if I was given a $200,000 monthly allowance from the age of two and had my casinos bailed out by my dad. But you know what? I’m taking it back. Because Trump’s attacks on women does not honor his mother.

Number five: “Thou shalt not kill.” People died because of Donald Trump. Donald Trump incited mass shootings, terrorists attacks, and could have even saved lives if he had put combating the coronavirus pandemic before his own insecurities. Donald Trump politicized a pandemic that has now killed over 637,000 U.S. citizens. And you wanna impeach Biden over 13 American deaths? Thou shalt get the fuck out of here.

Number six: “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” I will laugh all you family-value fuckers out of the room.

Number seven: “Thou shalt not steal.” Grifty McGrifts-a-Lots is still stealing from the United States government which means he’s stealing from you. As a former president (sic), he can’t steal as much so he has to focus on grifting from his supporters. But then again, they’re the only people stupid enough to pay $15.00 for ten straws. I’m not making that up. I just visited his page to confirm that and now I have to take a shower. I would post a link to prove it, but Thou shalt not post any MAGAt links on my goddamn page.

Number eight: “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” That means lying. The orange shitweasel lied so much that news outlets created trackers, which they also did for his golf outings. The Washington Post counted 30,573 lies. That’s a lot of false witness bearing.

Number nine: “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.” He was on that Access Hollywood tape literally coveting his neighbor’s wife. In his own words, “I moved on her like a bitch.” Thou shalt not move on her like a bitch.

Number ten: “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods.” This doesn’t just cover theft. It also covers greed. Donald Trump is a very selfish person who didn’t just steal from everyone he’s ever encountered, cheated on his taxes, and grifted from inside the White House. He also publicly wished for what others have. He’s on record wishing he was as rich as real billionaires. He spent his entire tenure pining for the respect, wisdom, and good looks of President Barack Obama, who moved out of the White House and into Donald Trump’s head where he continues to live rent free.

Republicans hear things how they want to hear them and haven’t been able to interpret anything accurately since Ike was president. So, when an anti-vaxxer MAGAts wants to talk to me about the Constitution, please.

Thou shalt not talk bullshit.

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Defund The NRA

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The National Rifle Association has been a very secretive organization for decades. They won’t publicize their funding or even how many members they have, but there is one thing we know about them. They’re evil incarnate.

For years, the lobbying group has controlled the Republican Party (also evil) and has succeeded in blocking even the lightest of gun regulations. As more and more Americans die from gun violence each year, including children from mass shootings at their schools, the NRA pushes for more guns in our society.

The NRA has advocated for semi-automatic weapons over the lives of children for years. The NRA has blood on its hands. The NRA labels every proposed gun regulation as an attack on the 2nd Amendment. The NRA has positioned itself as the 2nd Amendment. And for years, like every gun nut on the internet, the NRA ignores the part of the 2nd Amendment that mentions “regulated.”

The 2nd Amendment is the most sacred part of the Constitution to Republicans as they describe themselves as Constitutionalists and argue the Amendment shouldn’t be touched. But if they could, they’d take out the word “regulated.” Of course, the 2nd Amendment is the only amendment they’ve read.

Now, the state of New York is going to war with the National Rifle Association. New York isn’t just looking to put a hurting on the NRA. New York is out to obliterate the NRA.

New York Attorney General Letitia James filed a 168-page lawsuit with the state Supreme Court seeking to dissolve the NRA and claimed four of its top officials “funneled millions into their own pockets” and described the NRA as “a breeding ground for greed, abuse, and brazen illegality.”

The suit was followed by another by the Attorney General of Washington, D.C., who filed suit against the N.R.A. and its charitable foundation, alleging the NRA misused millions of dollars of the foundation’s funds. So the NRA has a charity…just like Donald Trump did.

It’s funny how Republicans chastised the Clinton Foundation for years as corrupt, without ever having proof. Today, the NRA is being sued for corruption and the Trump Foundation doesn’t exist anymore.

The NRA is countersuing New York, claiming its 1st Amendment rights are being attacked and the lawsuit is entirely political. Proving the 2nd Amendment is the only one they’ve read, there is nothing in the 1st that grants you the right to steal money.

The NRA was chartered as a non-profit in New York state 148 years ago though their headquarters are in Virginia outside the capital. The four top dogs in the NRA being sued are Wayne LaPierre, the longtime chief executive, John Frazer, the organization’s general counsel; Josh Powell, a former top lieutenant of LaPierre; and Wilson Phillips (not the 80’s group that sang “Hold on for one more day,” but that might be appropriate here), a former chief financial officer.

LaPierre is accused of raiding N.R.A. funds to bankroll an extravagant lifestyle, even after being paid millions in salary and benefits.

The suit says over six and a half years, a personal travel consultant for LaPierre was paid $13.5 million, largely on no-bid contracts. Private flights were chartered for LaPierre’s wife and his niece. He took frequent trips to the Bahamas on the N.R.A.’s dime, often decamping to a 108-foot yacht called “Illusions” (how appropriate) that was owned by an N.R.A. contractor and included a chef and four staterooms. He lavished gifts from Neiman Marcus and Bergdorf Goodman on his inner circle, and once put his niece up at a Four Seasons hotel for eight nights at a cost of more than $12,000.

The suit says the executives enriched themselves, their friends, families, and allies, and took improper actions that cost the organization $64 million over three years. The lawsuit seeks to ban the executives from EVER again serving on nonprofit boards in the state of New York. Hmm. Just like Donald Trump and his three oldest kids after using their fake charity in similar corrupt manners.

This is a civil suit and the state’s AG has referred it to the IRS. There may be a criminal referral in the future. They should probably keep their eyes on LaPierre who likes to visit the Bahamas a lot. We have an extradition treaty with that country, right? Psst. We do.

The NRA is evil. It’s so evil, Russia is a big advocate for it. Why would Russia, a nation with strict gun control laws, send spies to infiltrate the NRA? Because Russia knows the organization helps destabilize the United States. There are still investigations into whether the NRA was used by Russia to funnel money into Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign.

Leading up to the 2016 election, the NRA was a Russian asset.

Donald Trump said about the investigation, “That’s a very terrible thing that just happened The N.R.A. should move to Texas and lead a very good and beautiful life.” The word “Beautiful” is one of Donald Trump’s big words which is included in nearly every Donald Trump statement but at least he didn’t pronounce Texas as “Thexas.” By the way, the NRA can’t move its organization while it’s under investigation.

In the past, the state Attorney General referred to the NRA as a “terrorist organization.” They do support easy access to gun by terrorists. In fact, they’ve lobbied to defend a terrorist’s rights to get guns.

LaPierre is also said to have secured for himself, without board approval, a post-employment contract worth more than $17 million. This guy has used the NRA to enrich himself, just like Donald Trump used his bogus charity to enrich himself. What will we learn next? That LaPierre used NRA funds to buy portraits of himself and Tim Tebow-signed football helmets?

The Attorney General’s office took down the Trump Foundation. It took down Trump University. Now, it’s gunning (pun intended) for the National Rifle Association.

Could we actually see the dissolving of two evil organizations in one year? This would be a much safer nation, to itself and the world, with the destruction of the NRA and the Trump administration.

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NRA Decay

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For this cartoon, I wanted to reference several attacks against religious institutions. While it focuses on the past week, it’s a reference to Charleston, Pittsburgh, Texas, Christ Church, the synagogue shootings that happened Saturday, and the terrorists attack on the churches in Sri Lanka. Then I thought I might have a problem because guns weren’t involved in Sri Landa and there weren’t any church shootings over the past week…then I remembered this is America. Of course, there were church shootings over the past week.

And there were. Yesterday in Baltimore, there was a shooting at a cookout near a Baptist church that left seven wounded and one dead. Another shooting happened the Saturday before at a funeral service in a church in Frederick County, Maryland that left two wounded.

Not all of these are hate crimes, but several were targeting people for their religions. In Christ Church, New Zealand, the attacker was hoping his hit on mosques would provoke retribution from Islamic terrorists. He got his wish as the attack on churches in Sri Lanka that has left over 300 dead was reportedly in response to the Christ Church attack.

The attack on a synagogue in Pittsburgh was by a white nationalist who hated Jews and while not a fan of Donald Trump, repeated many of his wolf whistles about George Soros and globalism. The attack in Charleston, South Carolina on a black church was also by a white racist. At the shooting Saturday near San Diego, there are reports the shooter was screaming about “Jews ruining the world.”

The San Diego shooter reportedly left a document on 8chan full of racist slurs and white nationalist conspiracy theories. The author claimed to have been inspired by the Christ Church massacre, as well as the shooting in Pittsburgh and motivated by the same white nationalist cause. The Christ Church shooter had also left a manifesto on 8chan.

The National Rifle Association has done everything in its power to make it easy for lunatics to acquire guns. Each time there’s a shooting at a church or a school, it becomes another fundraising drive for them as they use the incidents to claim they and the 2nd Amendment are under attack. They also use it to drive up gun sales. When people die, the NRA cries for the guns that killed them. So, it’s good to see the NRA in serious trouble.

Russia, a nation with very strict gun laws, used the NRA to pour money into the 2016 presidential election. There has been mismanagement of the organization’s funding and they are fearing they’ll go broke. Their president, Oliver North, who once sold weapons to Iran, resigned yesterday after trying to force out chief executive Wayne LaPierre. The most distressing news for the NRA is that the state of New York has opened an investigation into the gun group’s tax-exempt status. While the organization keeps its membership numbers a secret, there are reports it’s dropping.

The NRA, which is basically an organ of the Republican Party, may be the biggest defender of the 2nd Amendment but they don’t own it. They warn that if they’re not around then the 2nd Amendment will soon follow. The problem with focusing on just one Amendment means you didn’t read the rest of the United States Constitution. We need to protect the entire document, not just one amendment. The Second will be fine. There is not a movement in this country to do away with it. Gun control does not mean outlawing guns.

I believe in the 2nd Amendment. I believe in the right to bear arms. But that right doesn’t mean children have to die in school and worshippers have to die at their services. We can have the 2nd Amendment and safe gun laws. When it comes to full-access to guns or the lives of children, the NRA will choose the guns.

I don’t think the NRA is going to die but if it does, I say good riddance. A bad day for the NRA would be a great day for the USA.

Be Complicit

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Second Amendment People

Trump committed a faux pas and did not mean to say “2nd Amendment people” could stop Hillary Clinton from appointing a Supreme Court justice after she’s elected president. He meant to say “titties.”

Trump has hinted to his gun toting supporters that they can shoot Hillary Clinton if she wins the election. Remember when we thought it was ridiculous when he started a debate talking about his penis? Maybe someone should shoot that. They make really tiny guns, don’t they?

Trump claims Hillary Clinton wants to abolish the Second Amendment and at a rally in North Carolina Tuesday he said “By the way, if she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks. Although the Second Amendment people — maybe there is, I don’t know.” With the outrage of calling for the death of his political opponent everyone has glossed over the lie that Clinton wants to take everyone’s guns away.

How many times has Trump made a statement that his supporters had to explain away, and then a day later Trump attempts to correct the record without apologizing? He wasn’t talking about periods when he said Megyn Kelly had “blood coming out of her whatever,” he didn’t call Carly Fiorina and Heidi Cruz ugly, he didn’t mock a disabled reporter, he’s never encouraged support from white supremacists, and he’s never called for his supporters to beat up protesters.

Trump’s supporters hate Hillary Clinton and believe the narrative she’s a liar. They say they love Trump because he speaks the truth but he’s really not serious when he makes outrageous comments. Seriously, why do these people have access to guns?

Trump supporters are making excuses for Trump’s dog whistle to shoot Hillary. It’s weird they will distort, take out of context and give new meanings to Clinton’s statement “what difference does it make” and then try to say Trump doesn’t mean “shoot Hillary” when he says “Second Amendment People” can do something about Hillary.

Words matter.

A few years ago Democratic U.S. Representative Gabby Giffords of Arizona was shot in the head by Jared Lee Loughner after Sarah Palin published a bulls eye on her district. 14 other people were injured and six more were killed.

Last year an anti-abortion activists group released a bunch of videos manipulated to look like Planned Parenthood was selling the body parts from dead babies. One of their fans who probably had a subscription to their newsletter, Robert Lewis Dear, took it upon himself to shoot up a clinic in Colorado Springs, killing three people and injuring nine more, and later in court he claimed he was “a warrior for the babies.”

In 1994 president Bill Clinton’s approval ratings were plummeting and the Republicans seized the momentum with an anti-government platform, retook the House and Senate, and convinced their supporters the government was clamping down on them. The fever swelled until April, 1995 when Timothy McVeigh bombed the Alfred P. Murrah building in Oklahoma City killing 169 people and injuring 680 more.

Words matter.

They especially matter when you’re talking to a base of uneducated people who are very misinformed, love conspiracy theories, and are more prone to act than think. Who do you think follows and supports Donald Trump? Trump has already hosted a convention where his speakers were yelling for Hillary Clinton to go to prison. Remember, Trump says he loves the uneducated.

Trump has said the system is rigged, and that the election is manipulated if he doesn’t win. Now he’s saying if he loses his supporters should shoot Clinton. This is a dog whistle that everyone can hear. I hope the Secret Service and FBI hears it because we don’t know what kind of dogs Trump has out there.

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Jump In This

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In case you haven’t noticed, Obama hasn’t come for your guns yet but Alison Parker’s father is.

I dedicate this cartoon to everyone who’s first concern after the shooting and murders in Roanoke was for their gun rights.

I expect a negative comment or two for this cartoon.

claytoonz

Nationally Syndicated Editorial Cartoonist