YallQaeda

Militant Snackers


cjones01072016

The Bundy militia guys didn’t prepare properly for their occupation of a federal bird sanctuary. Yeah, they brought guns, thermal underwear, and a big blue tarp to bunker under to shoot federal agents from, but they forgot snacks.

While asking Americans to grab a gun and freeze with them while waiting for the feds, they’re also asking the public to mail them snacks. Yes…please use the government owned postal service to send snacks.

Personally, I think they can chew on bark. However, if you must send them snacks you should go to Walmart and buy the store brand of mixed nuts and send that to them. It’s appropriate because of the implication, but nobody likes those things. Everyone fishes around for the cashews and leave those big ugly tasteless Brazilian and walnuts which leave your mouth dry. Bleah.

While you’re assembling your care package to send to Oregon, make sure to include diapers. Really big diapers.

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A Little Militant Lunacy


cjones01042015

Showing that they can do the Occupy Wall Street crowd one better, a group of right wing militants are now Occupy Bird Sanctuary. A federal bird sanctuary that is.

Remember that crazy old rancher who was dickering with the government over his cattle grazing on federal land? Cliven Bundy, inspired a standoff between armed local anti-government activists and federal officials seeking to confiscate cattle grazing illegally on federal land in Nevada. Now his two sons have overtaken a federal building in a remote part of Oregon.

Friends of the Bundys have been in a battle with the government over federal land. Dwight Hammond and his son Steven Hammond were sentenced to prison for setting fire on federal lands. There’s a terrorism aspect to the conviction which has a mandatory sentence of five years. The judge gave them less and after finish that sentence another judge said “wait a minute, hillbillies, you have more time to serve” and sent them back to prison. OK, I made that quote up but that’s what happened.

So a bunch of armed militants against the federal government staged a protest and then occupied the federal refuge and they say they’re willing to stay there for several years. They claim their group has 150 members but some witnesses say they only counted 15, which might just be as high as they’re capable of counting. They’re calling for supporters to arm themselves and join them. They say it’s a peaceful effort, but if the government tries to kick them out they’ll fight back. That’s peaceful?

Their supporters call them patriots. If they were black they’d be anarchists. If they were Muslim they’d be terrorist. They National Guard, FBI, and ATF would be all over it by now. There are now reports government agents are on the way but they’re kinda taking their sweet time about it. It’s a good thing they’re not a bunch of black 12-year-old kids with pellet guns or they would have been shot by now.

For some reason these people think it’s their Constitutional right to steal federal land and to rob taxpayers. If they can’t take it then they should be able to set it on fire and endanger the lives of fire fighters.

You can be unhappy with the government and still love your country. Nobody is 100% happy with government. But to take up arms and threaten war with the government, is declaring war on your country. It is treason. These people are traitors to the United States of America. They have all the integrity and morals of al Qaida and ISIS.

And it’s probably not going to do the birds any good.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!