Wormy MAGAts


Honestly, I didn’t know about this issue until I saw a few cartoons on it. At first, it was just a couple of cartoons by the hyper-partisan guys who go more for Facebook likes than for actually being published in news outlets. I watch news all day long (it’s on right now) and I had not heard of this. Then, I saw one cartoon (just one) by a cartoonist who is very esteemed and I thought, “This might actually be a thing.” So I pulled up a story and holy shit. It is a thing. Anti-vaxxers are taking deworming medication designed for livestock as a vaccine against the coronavirus. Shockingly, doctors don’t think this is a keen idea.

OK, first off…if you think the vaccines are bad for you then how in the hell do you get cattle dewormer medication? Do you have to go to a veterinarian? The drug is ivermectin and there was a tweet advising that nobody should take it to treat the coronavirus stating, “You are not a horse. You are not a cow. Seriously, y’all. Stop it.” Do you know who tweeted that? Bill Maher? Jim Carrey? Me? No. The freakin’ Food and Drug Administration (FDA) tweeted that. Why, it reminds me of that time the FDA had to tell Americans, “DO NOT DRINK BLEACH!” There was also that time the FDA had to tell people not to drink aquarium cleaner.

Mississippi has the highest rate in the nation of deaths and hospitalizations from covid. It has the lowest vaccination rate in the country. And now, it has the highest rate of human deaths from dumb fuckers taking cow pills. I think it’s in pill form. I don’t know. I’ve never owned a cow. I’ve only borrowed them from friends.

Dr. Thomas Dobbs, Mississippi’s top health official, said, ““You wouldn’t get your chemotherapy at a feed store. I mean, you wouldn’t treat your pneumonia with your animal’s medication,” he added. “It can be dangerous to get the wrong doses of medication, especially for something that’s meant for a horse or a cow.” Moo, beyotches.

The FDA warns you can overdose on ivermectin, which can cause nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, hypotension (low blood pressure), allergic reactions (itching and hives), dizziness, ataxia (problems with balance), seizures, coma, and death.” It can cause mooing, changing your name to “Bessy,” and excessive cud-chewing. It’s udderly ridiculous.

To find people who may have consumed the moo juice, state health officials are now going through Mississippi ringing cow bells to see if any humans come running. Unfortunately, that also attracts Mississippi State Bulldog fans. I lived in Mississippi for seven years and I never really got the whole cowbell/bulldog connection.

It’s especially dangerous for Trump supporters to take a worm-killing drug since they are MAGAts.

Note: I should be given a cookie for making it through this blog with only one udder joke.

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