VP Debate

Pence Fly


cjones10122020

If you heard a little tiny high pitched voice during last night’s debate saying, “Help me,” it wasn’t the fly. It was Republican senators going down with this administration. Thom Tillis, Lindsey Graham, Joni Ernst, and Martha McSally, who was never elected in the first place, are all buzzing around Mike Pence’s head saying, “Help me.”

I paid close attention to the debate last night. Kamala Harris was expected to prosecute the Trump administration. Mike Pence was expected to deflect, lie, and be condescending and wormy. And though I tried to pay attention, I lost all focus for two plus minutes of the debate. Why was I distracted for over two minutes? Because that’s how long a fly was attached to Mike Pence’s white head.

I was mesmerized. When is the fly going to fly away? Will it leave? Is it stuck to whatever component Pence uses to fossilize his hair? What the fuck is going on with the fly and Mike Pence’s hair! AAAAAAGGGHHHHHH! FLY!!!!

Finally it left, but before it did, it had its own Twitter account. The internet lit up over the fly. If you run outside right now and ask someone for their first impression of last night’s debate, they’ll mention the fly. My readers on Facebook were demanding I draw a fly cartoon. At first, I thought, “Nah. This is an internet thing and that doesn’t always translate to the rest of the world….holy shit. Everybody’s talking about it.”

As soon as the debate was over, on MSNBC, Rachel Maddow, Joy Reid, and Nicole Wallace talked about the fly. When Brian Williams came in, he talked about the fly. On CNN, Anderson Cooper, Chris Cuomo, and Don Lemon were talking about the fly. Over on Fox News, they were talking about the best pumpkin spice recipes for a brisk Autumn afternoon.

Before going to bed around 1:00 A.M, I knew I had to draw a fly cartoon. It’s funny that before the debate, I was wondering what would come out of it for me to draw. I never expected it to be a fly on a Trump goon’s head.

As they say, flies are attracted to shit. And whenever you defend Donald Trump and the “accomplishments” of his administration, you’re talking shit.

And just as he ignored the fly, Mike Pence ignored reality. Mike Pence told Senator Harris, “you’re entitled to your own opinions but you’re not entitled to your own facts.” He said this twice ignoring the FACT he is the main butt poodle for a man who has told over 20,000 lies.

Just like he tried to pretend the fly wasn’t there, Mike Pence, the evangelical, pretends he’s not goon number one for Mr. Grab Them By The Pussy.

Just as he ignored the fly, Mike Pence ignores the fact the Trump administration throws children into baby cages.

Just like he paid no attention to the fly, Mike Pence pays no attention to the fact over 210,000 people have died from the coronavirus.

As he ignored the fly, Mike Pence, head of the Coronavirus Task Force, ignores safety protocols. The woman he sleeps with whom he calls “Mother,” ignored safety protocols and the debate rules last night by coming onto the stage without a face mask.

Just like he ignored the fly, Mike Pence ignored the rules of the debate, talking over his time limit, talking over the moderator, Susan Page, and talking over his opponent, Senator Kamala Harris.

Just like he ignored the fly, he ignored all respect toward Senator Harris and Ms. Page. He ignored respect for the American people, using them as if criticizing the Trump administration’s failure over containing the Trump Virus is somehow attacking the American public.

Fortunately for Mike Pence, Senator Harris and Ms. Page also ignored the fly on his white head. They also ignored the cold sore around his mouth. Herpes much? Mother should have kept her mask on. They ignored the pink eye. Mother should have worn goggles. Quite frankly, someone should have taken his pulse. The guy looked like death and flies were literally landing on him. Can zombies speak other than saying, “Brains”? Except for this zombie, he ain’t got any.

A CNN poll said Kamala Harris won the debate, 69% to Pence’s 39%. Personally, I think the fly came in second. The worm came in a distant third.

Mike Pence is a coward. Mike Pence is a worm. And just like all members, supporters, and cultists of this administration, he’s full of shit. And that’s why flies are attracted to him.

Bzzzzz.

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That Mexican Thing


cjones10062016

If you had Googled “whipping out that Mexican thing” yesterday you probably would have stumbled upon some disturbing websites. Today you’ll find the most memorable line from the Vice Presidential debate which was made by Donald Trump’s running mate Mike Pence, governor of Indiana.

He was retorting back to Tim Kaine, U.S. Senator from Virginia, when he brought up Trump’s comments how Mexico is sending us rapists and murderers.

Pence did not fail defending Trump as much as he refused to defend him. When he did he was denying comments he or Trump had made, which were all lies. For this effort most analysts judged that Pence won the debate. The GOP was so excited about Pence winning that they went online an hour before to claim he won. Yes, they actually did that.

A lot of people were sour on Kaine’s many interruptions. Kaine took on the attack-dog role which is a new one for him. His performance gave the impression he had consumed many mochas beforehand, which I can relate to (I’m on my fourth cup of coffee now and I feel AWESOME!). Pence was very calm and patient and never got flustered or took the bait like his boss did. Pence also accused the Clinton/Kaine campaign of being one of insults, which is really hypocritical. Even during the debate Trump was tweeting out that Kaine looked like a villain from a Batman movie. Yes, he actually did that. Trump forgets he looks like he was an Oompa Loompa in Willy Wonka rolling an inflated Violet Beauregarde.

Pence even offered foreign policy proposals that are in direct opposition of those proposed by Trump, such as dropping bombs on Assad and confronting Russia.

Trump’s team will tell him to watch the debate and be more like Mike. They will have great difficulty making that happen, less enough getting him to watch the thing. Sorry, Donald. It’s not a sex tape….THANK GOD!

While Kaine is viewed as losing the debate, he really didn’t. He may have come off as not promoting himself for the future,which Pence did really well, but he gave his team a ton of material to use against the Trump/Pence ticket.

This cartoon isn’t real heavy but I wanted to do something with the “Mexican thing” comment. I also really like drawing Tim Kaine and his freaky eyebrow and look forward to future opportunities. I also don’t mind taking a lighter take with this as the debate won’t move any poll numbers and will be forgotten by Wednesday afternoon. We have another presidential debate on Sunday, more gaffes by Trump throughout the week, and a very dangerous hurricane approaching the East Coast.

I am excited for our future if it includes “whipping out that Mexican thing” in the form of taco trucks on every corner.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Veep Debate Project


vpdebate

A couple months ago, Redfront, a company in Farmville, Virginia asked me to produce this piece of art commemorating the Vice Presidential debate which is taking place tonight at Longwood University.

The owner of the Redfront is a really nice guy and he had the idea. He wanted to put the art on T-shirts. I did the job, he paid, and you’d think that’d be it and I could move on with my life. Clay was wrong.

The company hired to produce the shirts, which is in Ohio, was a huge pain in the butt. The gentleman who hired me had never worked on a project like this before. He’d email me one day asking for a file type he wasn’t familiar with, but fortunately I was. Then he’d call again the next day for another. And then I’d have to upload the file and then I had to talk to some maniac in Ohio, and then I would pull my hair out and do it all over again the next day.

I needed one type of file I had never made before and I roped a couple of friends into helping me. One tried and failed. The other (thanks, Melissa) came through. After that I went through all the required steps Ohio was demanding. I thought it was done. A few days later I’m told Redfront that he was pulling the plug on the entire thing.

I did get paid but I feel bad the project never flew as intended. I do hope Redfront can do something with it to recoup what they paid me.

But now here it is for the world to see. Enjoy tonight’s debate.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!