Virginia

Ugly Sweater Day


cjones02152019

It’s getting harder and harder to create satire when reality gives us an orange face president, blackface governors, and blackface sweaters. Seriously.

Gucci, a swanky and snooty overpriced fashion company released a turtleneck black wool balaclava sweater that resembled…I’m not making this shit up…blackface. If you’re like me, your first question is, what the hell is “balaclava?” The second question is, how was there not one person at Gucci that didn’t say “stop” at some point in the process of creating a blackface sweater?

You don’t need the Virginia blackface controversy to know how racist and insensitive society finds blackface. Gucci is now figuring that out as there have been calls to boycott the brand.

Someone famous who I’ve never heard of named T.I. has called for a boycott. Others include Soulja Boy and Spike Lee, who described it as “coonery and buffoonery.” Lee is also boycotting Prada for…wait for it…blackface. That company created a monkey charm named “Otto” that also resembles blackface. These controversies have knocked both companies from the line of succession for Virginia’s governorship.

Gucci’s CEO has agreed to meet with influential Harlem fashion designer Dapper Dan. The company has also pulled the sweater from stores and their website. But not before the media got a good screenshot of it.

I don’t believe Gucci is a racist company that intended to create a $900 blackface sweater. I believe this is more of a product of racially insensitive, arrogant, and obnoxious Italian fashion designers.

I doubt Gucci will replace the Klan hood and become the clothing brand of choice for racists. That particular item is still the MAGA hat.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

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Partisan Groping


cjones02142019

As if it wasn’t bad enough for Virginia and the state Democrats with two of the top three elected officials revealed to have worn “blackface” in the past, the other one of the three has been accused of sexual assault and now rape.

Lieutenant Governor Justin Fairfax was a rock star until a few days ago. On the day it was revealed by a right-wing website that Governor Ralph Northam had worn blackface while in medical school, Democrats were looking at Fairfax as though he was their savior. He’s young, talented, and would be the state’s second black governor after Douglas Wilder. If Fairfax took over Northam’s governorship, he’d be able to succeed himself in a state that only allows one term for governors. Democrats were tweeting and hashtagging “ImWithJustinFairfax.”

And then it all went away, thanks to the same website that exposed the blackface governor. Fairfax has been accused of sexual assault. The accusation is that he forced a woman to perform oral sex on him during the 2004 Democratic Convention in Boston. Fairfax claimed there was no corroboration to the story and that The Washington Post had even refused to publish it due to lack of support. Then, a second woman came forward and accused Fairfax of raping her when they both attended Duke University in 2000.

The second woman does have corroboration, and as it turns out, so does the first.

Republicans are jumping all over this, not so much as a call for justice and for what is right, but more as a partisan tool. They’re calling on Democrats to accept the women’s stories since in the past, Democrats have done the same for Republicans’ accusers (and there’s a lot of those). I had one conservative nitwit attack me last week on social media, accusing me of being a racist for not supporting Fairfax’s first accuser, ignoring the fact I wasn’t disregarding her allegations and that the alleged victim and perpetrator are both black.

Here’s the thing though; Democrats are buying these allegations. state and national Democrats are calling for Fairfax to resign. Even Fairfax has called for an investigation, which is something Brett Kavanaugh refused to do. Republicans only called for an investigation after they were pressured by just one of their colleagues, and only gave the FBI a week to work with…and even then, all but one Senate Republican voted to give a lifetime appointment to Kavanaugh, even the Senator who requested the investigation.

When multiple women accused Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore of pedophilia, he stayed on the ballot. Most Republicans continued to defend him. Donald Trump defended him with, “well he said he didn’t do it.” Roy Moore barely lost the election. Al Franken resigned from the Senate for pretending to grope a woman. PRETENDING!

The two women who have accused Fairfax are credible. They definitely should be heard and the charges should be investigated. I don’t think they’re lying. I also don’t believe that each of the 22 women who have accused Donald Trump of sexual misconduct, ranging from assault, to harassment, to rape, are lying either.

If you believe two women accusing a Democrat, then wouldn’t you have to believe 22 who are accusing a Republican? How about believing the 22 after the Republican admits it?

Maybe Donald Trump’s “grab them by the pussy” and “they let you do it when you’re famous” was just locker room talk. We’re all familiar with how adolescent boys boast about their sex lives, and we all know the president of the United States is an adolescent. He’s also boasted about barging in on teenage girls undressing who were competing in his pedo beauty pageants. He likes them young. You haven’t heard him talk about his daughter’s body since she turned 37.

With Trump’s own admission and there being accusers, it’s hard to say that each of the 22 women are lying. One of them is an ex wife.

Justin Fairfax needs to resign. I believe the two women. Democrats are right in calling for his resignation. If you’re a Republican, you have no right to call for his resignation unless you’re also calling for Trump’s. You’re not doing that though, so shut up.

The #MeToo movement is not partisan. You’re not really getting it if you believe all Democratic accusers but say it’s OK when a Republican does it.

Frank

I get a lot of compliments on the blog. Some people tell me they like them better than the cartoons, which isn’t what I’m going for, but OK. While this production receives praise, a lot of credit should go to Frank.

Frank, who is based in California, has been proofing the columns for a couple of years, I think. I lose track of time. It takes a lot of work to help make me look good. Frank starts each column by receiving a notficiation in email, AFTER it’s been published. Then, he uses a couple of different programs (maybe more) to weed through it. He sends the suggestions on changes to me, some I make and others I ignore. The process takes a lot of time and Frank puts a lot of focus and professionalism into the work. If he ran an errand before the blog was published, he’d email and tell me he’d be away for a while. He’s really good at changing my “weres” into “was” and “who is” into “whose.” Frank never tried to rewrite the columns or inject his own personal bias into the changes. He never made a demand.

Frank did all of this on a volunteer basis. He started by pointing out corrections in the comments and would tell me to delete the comment after I saw it, then offered to email if he saw anything. Eventually, he offered to go through each and every blog as they were published. It all came about naturally and it wasn’t awkward at all or imposing (there was an editor in the past, where it was very imposing and kinda got stalkery). Frank was very generous to do this and a total breath of fresh air. I was very comfortable working with him.

I knew Frank wouldn’t do it forever because at some point he’d have to get tired of it, or eventually realize he has better things to do with his time than clean up after a sloppy cartoonist in Virginia. He is an older gentleman and retired. Frank decided that yesterday was as good of a time as any to call it quits, and has retired from being my copy editor. I totally understand and I can’t blame him. He has totally earned a break from this goofiness. Since Frank did this on a volunteer basis, I wanted him to leave when he made that decision. I never wanted this to be a burden for him, though at times I am sure it was.

Frank has become a friend over the past couple of years. We share jokes and recommened movies on Amazon Prime. He’s been very supportive and encouraging to what I do. On most days, I don’t even reply to his emails about changes. I just make the changes. He hasn’t received enough credit and appreciation for everything he’s given to me…and to you.

I’m very grateful and fortunate to have had Frank’s services and friendship for as long as I did. Thank you, Frank. I wish you the best of luck and happiness in all your endeavors. I hope you enjoy life. I’m sure you will be in touch. Try not to grimace too much in the future as you read the blog.

That last part was for Frank and you, dear reader.

Thank you, Frank, for catching all the goobs.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

A Virginia Lineup


cjones02112019

What the hell, Virginia? When did we become Mississippi? No offense, Mississippi, but yeah.

Every southern state has an ugly history when it comes to racism. There are still people in the south fighting the Civil War. My former editor of The Free Lance-Star, Ed Jones (no relation) used to tell a joke that here in Fredericksburg, the Civil War was treated like breaking news and if you mentioned the subject, some people would respond with, “what’d you hear?” Ed wasn’t a comedian.

Virginia isn’t much different from other southern states. There are still fights over the Confederate flag, Confederate statues, Confederate History Month, and Jackson-Lee Day (for the two famous Confederate generals). It’s like we need all that stuff in case someone forgets which side Virginia fought for.

Over the past few decades, Virginia has become a purple state, voting for Obama twice, Hillary over Trump in 2016, having two Democratic United State Senators, and our three top elected officials are Democratic. Though there are parts of the state that resembles the north more than the south, it’s those three top elected officials that kinda has us looking more like Florida. No offense, Florida, but yeah.

A right-wing website created by people who supported the racist and accused pedophile Roy Moore published a medical school yearbook that “supposedly” features Governor Ralph Northam in blackface standing next to a guy in a KKK robe, or he was the KKK guy standing next to a guy in blackface. We’re not entirely sure which one, yet. The governor admitted he was in the photo and apologized. A day later, he said he wasn’t in the photo and someone put it on his yearbook page by mistake. Then, he said that he did wear blackface at one time in the 1980s when he entered a Michael Jackson dance contest where he did the moonwalk. As if the jacket, single-white glove, and moonwalk wouldn’t suffice, he needed the blackface. He also said he only applied a little shoe polish to his face, as anyone who’s familiar with the process knows how hard it is to remove. So, how familiar was he with putting shoe polish to his face before the moonwalk thing?

Fortunately, we have a Lieutenant Governor, Justin Fairfax, who can fill in if Northam resigns. He’s young, smart, talented, and African-American…and currently accused of sexual assault. What the? We were very excited to ditch Northam and have Fairfax complete his term as governor. What better way to heal than replacing a racist governor with an African-American? But then this came up, which was also released by that same hater website.

Sheesh! Who’s next in line for the governorship? That’ll be the Attorney General, also a Democrat. Mark Herring. What are the odds that the two highest ranking white guys in the state would have worn blackface at some point in their youth? Apparently, pretty damn good. Herring has come out and stated that he too once wore blackface at a party.

Herring called for the governor to resign before confessing to the Legislative Black Caucus, that at one time, just the once, in 1980, he went to a costume party as rapper Kurtis Blow. Have you ever heard of a black guy going to a party wearing whiteface, so he could be Vanilla Ice? Of course not, partly because Vanilla Ice sucks…but you’ve never heard it being done with the Beastie Boys either, right? The Beastie Boys rule, by the way.

One state legislature who was at Herring’s confessional said that the attorney general wiped tears from his cheek and that legislators also cried. Of course, they cried. That’s because the next in line is a Republican, Kirk Cox, the current Speaker of the House. Do you know how Cox became Speaker? He became Speaker by winning a coin toss. Seriously.

Our next governor could become governor because he won a coin toss, as Democrats basically tied with Republicans for control of the House, so for that one decided House race, they flipped a coin.

Damn. We are becoming Florida.

If we have to keep flipping through all these guys to where it eventually comes down to me, I’ll be disqualified too. Once, in my youth, I too pained my face (technically, my older sister painted my face). In the sixth grade, I went to a school party as Peter Criss of Kiss, the Catman. As we’ve all learned by now, he was a terrible drummer, a coke-snorting alcoholic, and he didn’t really write “Beth.” Also, while wearing the makeup, a lot of people thought I was a girl.

I was pretty but I can’t be governor. I should’ve gone as Ace.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid


cjones02072019

I learned something yesterday during Virginia Governor Ralph Northam’s press conference. It’s very hard to get shoe polish off your face. Of course, why would I have known that? I’ve never felt the inspiration to put shoe polish on my face. I know that if you draw a mustache on someone’s face with a Sharpie, like your little sister while she’s sleeping, that’s hard to wash off. But shoe polish? News to me. I also learned that there’s no better way to piss off someone than drawing a mustache on their face that’s hard to wash off, which is why you do it again.

But, our governor knew the shoe polish face thing at 25. During his press conference, he said he was not either of the two men on his page of his medical school yearbook. In case you don’t remember, one of those guys was in a Klan robe and the other was wearing blackface. The governor did confess that he’s worn blackface in the past while entering a dance contest as Michael Jackson. He even said he learned to moonwalk.

The governor went from apologizing for the photo on Friday night to saying it’s not him on Saturday. The press conference was supposed to make everyone calling for his resignation to change their minds. Instead, there are now more calls for his resignation. Now, it doesn’t matter if it’s him in the photo or not.

He also said he had never seen the photo before, which is hard to believe. I haven’t seen any of my yearbooks in decades, but I’ve seen them. He also didn’t explain the “Coonman” nickname.

While explaining the blackface thing, he said he only put a little on because, “as anyone knows who’s ever put shoe polish on their face,” it’s hard to remove. That doesn’t change the fact he put shoe polish on his face to impersonate a black person. And yes, in 1984, Michael Jackson was still black.

I was there in 1984. No, not at his stupid dance contest. I was a teenager in 1984. People, including white guys, were dressing like Michael Jackson. They were wearing those ridiculous red jackets with 27 dozen zippers while wearing one white glove. I don’t remember ever seeing one of them wearing blackface. Let me point out, this was in the south. I was living in Georgia when Thriller came out, moved to Louisiana before the year was over, and never saw guys doing the blackface thing. Then again, I wasn’t very popular so maybe I just wasn’t invited to all the Michael Jackson blackface parties.

So, yeah. There is a bit of a defense. He went from hateful racist attending a party to mock black people, to oblivious racist thinking he was just having fun. That’s not a good defense. Neither is “it wasn’t me THAT time.”

While people were calling for Northam’s resignation after he apologized for the photo on Friday, he was being respected for owning it. He lost that during his press conference.

Ralph Northam has to resign. Just leave. You can moonwalk while you’re leaving, as long as you’re leaving.

Beat it.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Governor Blackface


cjones02062019

One of the biggest criticisms Ralph Northam received while running for the governorship of Virginia was that he’s too boring. Problem solved. Perhaps he should have been a little more boring during his med school days.

Late Friday afternoon, a photo emerged from a 1984 medical school yearbook that shows a man in blackface and another in a Ku Klux Klan robe. One of the two men is Virginia’s Democratic governor, who was also listed in the yearbook with the nickname “Coonman.” The funny-not-funny thing is we’re not sure which of the two men is the governor. Does it matter?

Northam is a progressive Democrat and many in the state believe his criticism of the Nazi tiki marchers in Charlottesville helped elect him to the state’s top job. He’s spent his political career, which includes a term as Lieutenant Governor, on the correct side of race issues. Northam held great potential for Democrats despite being boring.

Northam quickly released a statement in a video acknowledging the photo and said, “It will take time and serious effort to heal the damage this conduct has caused. I am ready to do that important work. The first step is to offer my sincerest apology and to state my absolute commitment to living up to the expectations Virginians set for me when they elected me to be their Governor.” He didn’t mention any plans to resign.

He didn’t do a Brett Kavanaugh and try to explain it as something that it wasn’t like boofing meant farting and not shooting beer up your bum. Northam owned it.

Even with his accepting responsibility there have been calls for his resignation from the NAACP, Planned Parenthood, the Republican Governors Association, Virginia’s Republican Party, some national Democrats including presidential hopefuls Sen. Elizabeth Warren (Mass.), Sen. Kamala D. Harris (Calif.), Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (N.Y.), Sen. Cory Booker (N.J.) and Julián Castro, a former mayor of San Antonio, and even singer John Legend.

Virginia Senators Mark Warner and Tim Kaine along with members of the state legislature’s Black Caucus criticized Northam but stopped short of calling for his resignation.

When a Republican’s racist past comes to light, or his present, Democrats always call for their resignation. But, it doesn’t hurt Republicans with their base because their base is just as racist. Democrats and liberals don’t go after the racists with glee and hoping to score political points. They know it’s bad for the nation to have racists in elected positions with political power.

When a Democrat’s racist past comes to light, Republicans go after them with enthusiasm and try to score political points, while ignoring their own racism.

Democrats have to call for Northam’s resignation. You can’t pick and choose which racist behavior you’re OK with. The echo chamber that is the comments under my cartoons on social media have mostly been calls for his resignation. I’ve only counted two liberals among those who believe he should hang in there.

One of my best friends argued by asking if you should give up everything over something stupid you did 34 years ago. Of course not. You shouldn’t stop being a doctor, pilot, or even a cartoonist. But, we’re not governors. If there’s something from your past that prevents people from trusting and following you, then you can’t do your job. In this case, we weren’t aware of Northam’s racist party photo when we were voting for him.

Northam has to resign because he can’t lead anymore. From this point on, he’s no longer Governor Northam and is now Governor Blackface. Governor Northam could accomplish great things and even reach across the aisle. Governor Blackface doesn’t accomplish anything. There are legislative elections in Virginia this November and no Democrat will want to campaign with Governor Blackface.

Northam wants to win our trust back, and he deserves that opportunity, as a private citizen. He shouldn’t be spending the next three years as governor trying to convince us he’s not the same racist guy he was at 25. Yes, 25. He wasn’t a kid. He was a grown man. Northam had the campaign to win us; he’s not to spend his time as governor wooing us back.

As I mentioned, Republicans are all over this while ignoring the racists in their own party. For example, the photos of Northam were exposed by the website Big League Politics, founded by Patrick Howley, a former writer for the Daily Caller and Breitbart. This website is operated by a political consultant who worked on Roy Moore’s campaign, the racist Alabama Senate candidate accused of being a pedophile. Do you really believe these people are out to fight against racism?

I’ve seen posts on social media by Republicans and Trump defenders celebrating the “gotcha” of Northam’s photos. Yet, these same right-wing hypocrites never went after Roy Moore, Steve King, or Donald Trump. They never criticized the Nazis who marched in Charlottesville. They never call for a Republican’s resignation over racism and are always the first to defend them. They even elected Cindy Hyde-Smith to the Senate from Mississippi, after she made jokes about attending lynchings, which is even less funny than blackface. And, Hyde-Smith didn’t make that joke when she was 25. She made it last November and she’s 59.

While liberals may think it’s unfair they have to be better people and live up to a higher standard than conservatives, that’s just the way it is. We don’t want to be like them and we have to present a better example. When a Republican gets caught again, which will be next week, we won’t have any credibility calling for his ouster if we didn’t call for Northam’s. Republicans don’t have credibility. For us, it’s a burden to be ethical. I became a liberal because I like to use facts. We have to use ethics and principles. We can’t Breitbart and Infowars shit. That’s what they do.

When this story hit, I thought I should put it off for a day or so because it was developing. But it just got bigger and bigger by the minute and I realized I’ll probably end up doing two cartoons on it. Virginia is my state. I voted for Northam. I also voted for his potential replacement, Justin Fairfax.

Northam probably won’t survive the weekend. So, Republicans…when you see a photo of our next governor, try not to freak out.

He actually is black.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

 

Making Wookie


cjones08032018

When I noticed Bigfoot was trending on Twitter, I immediately assumed there was a revelation on the existence of the mythical creature that would soon be debunked. Like millions, or at least several thousand, of others, we were wrong and unexpectedly discovered there is such a thing as Bigfoot erotica. What?

The new normal keeps introducing weird stuff into our political process, but I doubt anyone expected their week to start by discovering Bigfoot erotica is a campaign issue in a congressional race in Virginia. I know what you’re thinking. Donald Trump doesn’t have anything to do with this? You’re also probably thinking, I have never heard of Bigfoot erotica. Neither had I and I’m a guy with a computer and internet access.

Despite his name, Denver Riggleman is not a porn star, but a Republican candidate for Congress in Virginia’s 5th Congressional district. His Democratic opponent, Leslie Cockburn (I swear I’m not making these names up) has accused him of hanging out with white supremacists and being a purveyor of Bigfoot porn. She cited a drawing on his Instagram page, which he’s now made private, where there were sketches of Bigfoot with his penis censored by a black box (apparently, it’s impressive).

The media and voters had several questions for Riggleman to wiggle out of. Do you wanna bang a Bigfoot? Do you wanna get sloppy with a Squatch (what they call them on the TV show Finding Bigfoot where they’ve never actually found a Bigfoot)? Have you ever gotten yicky with a Yeti, funky with a monkey, or had nookie with a Wookie? Since each picture is of a male Bigfoot, are you gay for Bigfoot (not that there’s anything wrong with that)? Finally, before announcing your campaign for Congress, why didn’t you delete Bigfoot’s dick off your Instagram?

Riggleman explained to The Daily Beast (which is a respectable new site and not a site posting different beasts on a daily basis), that he’s not into Bigfoot porn (which is when the reporters should have asked, “So what kind of porn are you into? Minotaurs?”). The candidate explained that the drawings were part of years-long joking with his military buddies. He’s also a bit of a buff, as he’s currently working on a book about why people believe in Bigfoot and it will be a parody. Sure. That’s totally plausible, what with the title, “Mating Habits of Bigfoot and Why Women Want him.” Seriously.

He also co-authored a short story, in 2006 called “Bigfoot Exterminators Inc: The Partially Cautionary, Mostly True Tale of Monster Hunt 2006.” In the short epic, written with Don Barone, a former writer for ESPN, there are passages including the narrator touching Bigfoot Balls” with a walking stick; Denver getting an “ass massage;” a reference to baiting Bigfoot with “menstrual blood;” and an assertion that “Bigfoots like sex too.” I don’t know. I think if you’re baiting Bigfoot, try the technique in the commercial with beef jerky before you get to the ass massage.

For a non-believer, Riggleman has spent a lot of time on Bigfoot (not on top of Bigfoot, just to be clear). He’s been studying the subject from 12-16 years and has been on hunts.

Maybe after asking him if he went into the woods with the intention to give ass massages (did he bring a banjo?), we can finally get around to asking him about hanging out with white supremacists. The candidate has put more energy denying he gets off on Bigfoot than he has distanced himself from racists.

He has campaigned with white supremacist Isaac Smith, who co-founded the racist Unity and Security for America think tank with Jason Kessler, the organizer of the neo-Nazi and white supremacist rally in Charlottesville in 2017 (where Trump said there were good Nazis in attendance). He won’t answer questions about whether he plans to campaign alongside the Republican candidate for a Virginia Senate seat, Corey Stewart, who happens to be a far-right neo-Confederate who denies the Civil War was primarily about Slavery.

On Monday, it was revealed that Stewart’s spokesperson Rick Shaftan also forgot to delete a number of old posts, namely racist tweets about “crazed black people” and calling majority-black cities “shitholes.” What’s the deal, Republicans? Just in case associating with racists isn’t enough, you have to add Bigfoot?

This may be the second most bizarre congressional race in Virginia this year, as an admitted pedophile, pro-incest, white supremacist candidate is running in the 10th Congressional district. When did we become Florida?

Win or lose, Denver Riggleman has successfully assured that for the rest of eternity, each time someone Googles his name they’re going to get a picture of Bigfoot’s penis. He’ll always have that going for him.

Bigfoot refused to comment.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

Watch me draw.

Candidate Stranger Danger


cjones06072018

Usually, when you send a pedophile to Congress, you don’t know they’re a pedophile until much later. In this case, Nathan Larson has boasted he is a pedophile, among many other horrible things.

Larson is an Independent congressional candidate for Virginia’s 10th District. Shockingly, he’s not running as a Republican. Of course, there’s no chance in hell the guy could actually win, but if he’s going to pull any votes from one of the two parties, it’ll be the Republican Party.

Larson boasted to the Huffington Post that he’s a pedophile. He’s also written about it online in addition to bragging about raping his late ex-wife, who has since committed suicide.  He said, “A lot of people are tired of political correctness and being constrained by it.” I don’t think it’s political correctness that prevents most people from raping women and children, or commit father-daughter incest, which he’s also into. And, yes. He has a daughter that the law is wisely keeping him away from.

Larson’s campaign manifesto says he is a “quasi-neoreactionary libertarian” candidate. His platform includes protecting gun ownership rights, establishing free trade and protecting “benevolent white supremacy,” as well as legalizing incestuous marriage and child pornography. Charming.

From HuffPost; In his manifesto, Larson called Nazi leader Adolf Hitler a “white supremacist hero.” He urged Congress to repeal the Violence Against Women Act, adding, “We need to switch to a system that classifies women as property, initially of their fathers and later of their husbands.” He also showed sympathy for men who identify as involuntary celibates, or incels, suggesting it is unfair that they “are forced to pay taxes for schools, welfare, and other support for other men’s children.”

There are at least eight white supremacists running for office this year in the nation, and my Virginia might have the worst. On top of all this, Larson is a convicted felon who threatened to kill the president in 2008, near the end of Bush’s term, so I’m not sure if he was aiming for him or Obama. Felons normally lose their right to vote and run for office, but Virginia’s former governor, Terry McAuliffe, restored them in 2016.

Donald Trump has already endorsed one pedophile this year. He’s also praised white supremacists and exhibited his own racism while also publicly lusting after his own daughter. The only issue he might have with the sort of scum like Nathan Larson is he’s not a Republican.

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