Vanilla Isis

Militant Snackers


cjones01072016

The Bundy militia guys didn’t prepare properly for their occupation of a federal bird sanctuary. Yeah, they brought guns, thermal underwear, and a big blue tarp to bunker under to shoot federal agents from, but they forgot snacks.

While asking Americans to grab a gun and freeze with them while waiting for the feds, they’re also asking the public to mail them snacks. Yes…please use the government owned postal service to send snacks.

Personally, I think they can chew on bark. However, if you must send them snacks you should go to Walmart and buy the store brand of mixed nuts and send that to them. It’s appropriate because of the implication, but nobody likes those things. Everyone fishes around for the cashews and leave those big ugly tasteless Brazilian and walnuts which leave your mouth dry. Bleah.

While you’re assembling your care package to send to Oregon, make sure to include diapers. Really big diapers.

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