Vaccines

Flat Earth Core

Some scientists are saying the Earth’s core may have stopped spinning, or slowed down, and may even start to go in reverse. In case you’re a Republican, reverse means backward. Republicans know backward.

I’m going to lay some science down on you (yes, this is cut and paste. I don’t know this shit).

The Earth is formed of the crust, the mantle, and the inner and outer cores. The solid inner core is situated about 3,200 miles below the Earth’s crust and is separated from the semi-solid mantle by the liquid outer core, which allows the inner core to rotate at a different speed from the rotation of the Earth itself.

With a radius of almost 2,200 miles, Earth’s core is about the size of the planet Mars (which is about half the size of Earth). The Earth’s core consists mostly of iron and nickel and contains about one-third of Earth’s mass.

Yi Yang, an associate research scientist at Peking University, and Xiaodong Song, Peking University chair professor, studied seismic waves from earthquakes that have passed through the Earth’s inner core along similar paths since the 1960s to infer how fast the inner core is spinning. Wait a minute. Isn’t China where Donald Trump claims global warming was invented?

I watched “The Phantom Menace” again over the weekend (I don’t know why) and Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Jar-Jar took a shortcut in a bongo from Gungan City to Theed, the capital of Naboo, through the planet’s core. I have an issue with this. Sure, it’s science fiction, but I don’t think you can bongo your way from one ocean to another through the core of the planet. The core would be a solid mass, not liquid. At the very least, wouldn’t it be red hot magma as Dr. Evil claimed in those Austin Powers movies?

Anyway, seismic records, which previously changed over time, haven’t shown much change since 2009, when the Black Eye Peas released “My Humps.” I knew that song was bad news. This leads Dr. Yang to believe the core has either stopped or slowed down and makes him ask, “Whatcha gon’ do with all that junk? All that junk? All that junk inside your trunk?”

Back in the 1980s when Bananarama was running wild, the core was spinning just fine. Some scientists believe this is a cycle and the current spinning started in the 1970s back when Terry Jacks was singing “Seasons in the Sun.” But others believe this cycle started even earlier, like when Ray Charles did the “Mess Around.”

The most amazing thing about all of this is that Fox News also reported this story to their viewership of flat earthers. You know, the goons who believe climate change is a socialist plot, face masks don’t work, covid is a hoax, chemtrails, birds aren’t real, vaccines cause death and autism, Donald Trump won the 2020 presidential election, and Fergie’s humps are not nearly as nice as the humps of Kimberly Guilfoyle.

And if the Earth’s core does indeed start to spin backward, then we’re all going to believe that stuff too, which will be great for me because I’m kinda tired of having to research and be accountable for my beliefs. Being an irresponsible right-wing cartoonist would take so much pressure off. And trust me, even the slightest research will educate you that Fergie is much nicer than Kimberly Guilfoyle if even hearing “Let’s get it Started” makes you want to hit yourself upon the head with a tack hammer.

But seriously, I’m going to have so much egg on my face if everything in this cartoon turns out to be true.

Creative note: My CNN editor suggested I do something on this subject but we didn’t go with any of the ideas I sent him on it. I wrote a version of this last Friday but rewrote it this morning (so he never saw this one).

Music note: I listened to a 90s alternative mix.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

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Football Night In America

I went down to my local bar last night to watch the first 30 minutes of the last Monday Night Football game of the year which was between the Cincinnati Bengals and Buffalo Bills, which would also help decide who will be the top playoff seed in the AFC. The reason I was only going to stay for 30 minutes is that this isn’t a sports bar. It’s a taco bar. Mmm, tacos.

A friend, Chaz, who is from Cincinnati, showed up and suggested we finish watching the game at a sports bar, but I declined because I really wasn’t feeling staying out that late though I found the idea of chicken wings very appealing. We never would have made it.

During the first quarter, Bills safety Damar Hamlin went down with an injury. It quickly went from a typical-football injury to something very serious. I knew there was real trouble from looking at the players’ faces. Hamlin suffered cardiac arrest after taking a hit to his chest while making a tackle. He’s currently in critical but stable condition.

It took the NFL about 35 minutes to decide to postpone the game, but word is that this decision is the result of pressure from the players and coaches of the Bills and Bengals. They weren’t going back out there. Would the NFL have still played the game if the coaches and players hadn’t pressured it to stop?

The conversation at the bar during this was about how a team can collect itself to continue playing this game. Olivia, who was working the bar threw out the idea that the game would be postponed. I thought there was no way the NFL would suspend a game during the first quarter. Chaz, who was once an EMT trainee, wasn’t giving us a positive diagnosis of Hamlin’s condition after we heard he had to receive CPR twice.

When I got back to my apartment and turned the game on, I saw that the teams still had not re-taken the field. The analysts on TV didn’t really know what to say and they seemed lost for words. I would have been the same way. The game was postponed shortly after.

I like football, but maybe I shouldn’t. It’s a very violent game and one I didn’t want my kid to play. I would have been fine with my son playing baseball or tennis, but not football. Football is a game where the object is for grown men to run into each other at full speed. Human bodies were not made to do that. It’s a very violent game. Fortunately, my son was and still is not into sports. He probably doesn’t even know who won last year’s Super Bowl. I can live with that.

A 24-year-old athlete shouldn’t be suffering from cardiac arrest… or multiple concussions in one year.

Our first thoughts should be with Damar Hamlin and his family. We should all be wishing him a full recovery. A lot of us will still watch football when the games resume later this week. A lot of people are wondering if there will be a make-up game, or about their fantasy teams, or about who gets the top seed in the playoffs.

Our last thoughts should be on football…and we shouldn’t be having any thoughts on conspiracy theories, but this is America.

Right-wing MAGAts have already started conspiracy theories blaming the vaccines for Covid 19 for Damar Hamlin suffering a cardiac arrest, like that hit to the center of his chest didn’t have anything to do with it. The same goons who don’t want politics in football are using a young man’s life-threatening injury to push their propaganda and hate.

America isn’t just violent. It’s vile.

Music note: I listened to The Doors.

Facebook Suspension Update: There are 11 days left, so it says, in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban.” Quannah had a countdown clock for it, but it broke.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Trust The Science

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DJ Ferguson is an anti-vaxxer. His father says his son “doesn’t believe in it.” According to his GoFundMe page, DJ has been in a Boston hospital since November suffering from a hereditary heart issue that causes his lungs to fill with blood and fluid. DJ needs a heart transplant. DJ does not believe in vaccines. What he does believe in are heart transplants and GoFundMe pages.

Ferguson has been removed from a transplant list, partly over his status as being unvaccinated from the coronavirus.

His father said, “My boy is fighting pretty damn courageously and he has integrity and principles he really believes in and that makes me respect him all the more. It’s his body. It’s his choice.” Yeah, but DJ is trying to make a choice with an organ that’s not from his body.

The person who donated the heart also made a choice with their body, except that person’s choice wasn’t selfish. Brigham and Women’s Hospital told the BBC in a statement: “Given the shortage of available organs, we do everything we can to ensure that a patient who receives a transplanted organ has the greatest chance of survival.”

The person who donated the heart probably made their choice, with their body, that their donation would be provided to a person with the greatest chance of survival, not some fucknut who ignores science over their petty politics.

Dr. Arthur Caplan, head of medical ethics at NYU Grossman School of Medicine, told CBS News that after any organ transplant a patient’s immune system is all but shut down and even a common cold can prove fatal.

Dr. Caplan said, “The organs are scarce, we are not going to distribute them to someone who has a poor chance of living when others who are vaccinated have a better chance post-surgery of surviving.”

There are over 100,000 people on waiting lists for organ transplants. Most of them won’t receive one. So why give one to someone who’s already made health choices detrimental to his survival? It looks like Mr. Ferguson already made his choice with his body.

The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) says transplant candidates, and their immediate circles should get vaccinated. Transplant candidates also need other vaccinations, such as the flu vaccine.

Many anti-vaxxers have started to trust the science when it’s too late, after catching the coronavirus. Their anti-science politics goes out the window when they start pleading with science to save their lives.

How does someone trust the science that will cut their chest open, remove their heart, insert a heart from a different person, stitch them back up, and send them back out into their world, but not trust a jab in the arm?

Anti-vaxxers need brain transplants.

Music Note: Today’s cartooning tunes were provided by Incubus and the J. Geils Band.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

The SCOTUS Open

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In ruling that the Biden administration can’t force large businesses to enact vaccine mandates, the conservative majority of the United States Supreme Court argued that the coronavirus is not an “occupational work hazard.” Don’t worry if they’re wrong because every member of the Supreme Court is vaccinated, so they don’t have to deal with the coronavirus hazard at their workplace.

The mandate applied to companies with over 100 employees. It required all employees to be vaccinated or be tested every week. This would have affected over 82 million workers, which is two-thirds of the U.S. workforce. Now thanks to the Supreme Court, you can still be an employed gaslighting anti-vaxxer Fauci-hating fucknut.

The Biden administration estimated the rule would save our nation from over 250,000 hospitalizations.

This was an OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration) designed rule, but the court doesn’t want OSHA to have any authority. They claim despite factories, meat-packing plants, grocery stores, distribution centers, etc, being super-spreader environments, covid is not an occupational hazard.

Previously, a three-judge panel of the sixth US Circuit Court of Appeals had decided the Osha rule was “an important step in curtailing the transmission of a deadly virus that has killed over 800,000 people in the United States, brought our healthcare system to its knees, and cost hundreds of thousands of workers their jobs.” This pandemic is an extreme event and the federal government should do everything it can to protect its citizens.

SCOTUS is afraid big government is overstepping its boundaries, but the Biden administration isn’t forcing people to be vaccinated. If anything, it hasn’t gone far enough. We need vaccine mandates for traveling on planes and trains. Hell, there should be a federal mandate for family get-togethers, maybe just to keep the creepy ranting uncles in their attics where they belong.

The majority on the nation’s highest court is ignoring that when you get COVID, it’s not just yours. It’s not a choice (which they also disagree with). This is a pandemic of the unvaccinated. You have very little control if you catch it or not. The court’s ruling acts as if the government is infringing upon people’s right to catch and spread covid. What will they rule against next? Free vaccinations, free N95 masks, and free testing?

The conservative majority on the court is also afraid allowing OSHA to regulate here would expand its authority without congressional approval. But, Section 2 of the Occupational Safety and Health Act of 1970 says “Congress declares it to be its purpose and policy, to assure so far as possible every working man and woman in the Nation safe and healthful working conditions [and] assure insofar as practicable that no employee will suffer diminished health, functional capacity, or life expectancy as a result of his work experience.” If you catch covid at work, that’s a work experience.

OSHA’s power to regulate here was literally approved by Congress.

So far, I’ve caught two things the majority had to invent to issue their ruling. The first is that the coronavirus is not an occupational hazard. The second is that OSHA doesn’t have congressional approval.

But, since OSHA does have congressional approval to regulate where there are occupational hazards, this ruling is bullshit.

The Supreme Court’s conservative majority had to worm and squirm to find some easily debunked crap to base their opinion on. Next, they’ll base their rulings on Facebook memes.

The Supreme Court did allow the Biden rule to stand on vaccine mandates for hospital workers. This is a good thing because their other ruling against vaccine mandates is really going to put more people into hospitals.

Music note: I listened to U2 while drawing today’s cartoon.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Urine Trouble

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The anti-vaxxers with the bogus cures are now promoting another bullshit treatment. But in this case, the bullshit is urine. Seriously.

Some of these idiots have ingested cleaning products made for fish tanks. Others on the advice of Donald Trump have shot bleach up their asses. Thousand upon thousands have taken medication that’s for livestock. Now, one of these hoaxers is telling us the cure is to drink urine. Wait. Not just any urine, I don’t think, but your own urine.

Christopher Key is an Alabama anti-vaxxer with an online cult following. He uses his website not just to rant against vaccines for the coronavirus, but to spread false information.

In the past, he told pharmacists that what they’re doing by giving out vaccinations are committing “crimes against humanity.” The same could be said for Key by spreading false information. Key said if the pharmacists “do not stand down immediately, then they could be executed.” He claims “they can be hung in the state.” Sure they can…and if they’re hung in Alabama, then they’re most likely hung in any other state they visit, but I’m not sure what that has to do with vaccinations.

Key went to a Missouri Walmart to harass people. Now I know there are Walmarts in Alabama, but he was invited by some fucknut crusade to a rally in Missouri.

Key has also sold deer antler spray for athletic injuries on his website. He’s also sold “concussion caps” to football players to avoid injuries. The caps are actually just beanies, which means he’s forcing football players to become hipsters. Ever see a guy wearing a beanie in August? That’s a hipster. It annoys me more than fuckers wearing face masks under their noses.

I saw a guy in Giant yesterday with his nose sticking out of his face mask. The dumbest part of this is that face masks are NOT required in Virginia. Why are people doing this when they don’t have to wear the face mask? It’s like putting the helmet on the back of your motorcycle. Look. There is it. We can all see it but it’s not where it’s going to help you.

Sorry. I digressed again.

Standing outside a Walmart, where we’ve all seen crazy people shouting at people, inanimate objects, and the sky, Christopher Key yelled at an employee, who was probably rounding up shopping carts, “If you allow one more shot in one more person’s body, you yourself will be executed in violation of the Nuremberg Code. We don’t want that to happen to any of you guys at all. We love you guys. We want to keep you safe.” Yeah, sure. Then he went to a Walgreens and a CVS to harass those employees. Seriously, if you’re going to protest anything at CVS, it’s them wanting your phone number to check you out. You don’t need my phone number to sell me a plunger. A plunger was the last thing I bought at a CVS, which was Christmas day, 2020.

And again, I digressed.

Key has also claimed that hospitals are putting people in comas and on ventilators just for having a common cold. At the Missouri event, the lunatic organizers used fog machines as part of their presentation and Key initially thought it was an anthrax outbreak.

In December, claiming he’s the “vaccine police,” Key threatened to go to Louisiana and arrest Governor John Bel Edwards for vaccinating children in the state.

Key said, “I am the vaccine police,” which has less legitimacy than when Beavis shouts, “I am Cornholio.”

He claimed, “We have shut down pharmacists. We have shut down boards of education. And we will be arresting the governor of Louisiana on February the 7th if he does not stand down and not vaccinate the children of Louisiana.” I’m going to tell Alexa to remind me to check on this on February 7. Maybe he’ll do it…if he’s not in jail. More on that in a minute. Key has been on a cross-country tour with a flamethrower to arrest other Democratic governors.

Do flamethrowers fall under gun laws? Is it legal to sell an insane person a flamethrower? It’s probably legal in Alabama.

Key said he would conduct the arrest “out of love,” because “they are trying to start a civil war” and “coming for our children.” Yeah, coming to save children who have fuck-head parents.

Key said the cure to the coronavirus is to drink your own urine. He brought us this revelation straight from jail, where most new medical breakthroughs are known to occur. Listen, Christopher, I don’t care if you like the toilet wine but drinking your own pee isn’t a cure except for maybe fresh breath. Opposite of Mentos, urine is the unfreshmaker.

So, why was Key in jail? He was arrested for trespassing at a Birmingham Whole Foods for refusing to leave because he wouldn’t wear a face mask. I know it’s shocking. There’s a Whole Foods in Alabama? In court, Keys told the poor bastard the court appointed to be his attorney, “I’m not insane.” Sure, he’s not insane, and did I mention the flamethrower?

Immediately after getting out of jail from the whole Whole Foods incident, he told his followers to drink their own urine.

I have some questions. For this pee cure to work, is it mandatory that the pee you drink must be your own? I mean, what if it’s a friend’s pee? Is it a DNA thing? If so, can you drink your sibling’s pee? What if the pee is from a Russian hooker? Can your pee be mixed with other people’s pee? If bullies give you a swirlie, can you count that as immunity? If it’s not your own pee, are you doing it wrong?

Key said, “The antidote that we have seen now, and we have tons and tons of research, is urine therapy.” Yeah, you need to be in therapy. He also said, “I know to a lot of you this sounds crazy, but guys, God’s given us everything we need.” Yes, God has given us our pee…and flamethrowers.

When reached for further comments, because we really need to hear more of this, he said “This vaccine is the worst bioweapon I have ever seen. I drink my own urine!”

I guarantee that the type of person who follows this advice will be sitting next to me the next time I’m on a bus.

Someone really needs to put the urine-drinking flamethrower guy, not into jail, but into an asylum. Don’t do it out of hate. Do it out of love.

Cheers!

Music note: I listened to Stone Temple Pilots while drawing today’s cartoon. I turned on the music when I started drawing the grass because when you do stuff like that takes a lot of patience, it helps to zone out. I got through the entire Core album while drawing the grass, and then I started on Purple.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Fox’s Flaming Fir

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Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace surprised viewers and many of his colleagues yesterday by announcing that this would be his last show and he was leaving the network, effective immediately. Shortly after, CNN announced the hiring of Wallace to be an anchor on their upcoming streaming service, CNN Plus.

Wallace turned down a contract extension with a pay raise to jump ship to an actual news network.

Fox News is losing actual news journalists. Brett Bair is probably the only prominent one who remains at the network. Shepard Smith left for CNBC in 2019. Kristin Fisher is another who recently left. Now, goodbye, Chris Wallace, who may have been the network’s best journalist.

Fox News has used Wallace as proof they’re an actual news source while firing Chris Stirewalt two months after he called Arizona for President Biden (which made a huge part of their base leave temporarily for News Max).

Fox News is actually making their network even more conservative. The network has replaced its 7:00 PM news slot with a conservative commentary show. They moved back their 11:00 PM news show an hour to give the slot to pro-Trump goon Greg Gutfield, who conservatives think is funny. Greg Gutfield’s show is like giving another talk show to Chevy Chase, but with less humor.

The network has removed liberal Juan Williams from its show, “The Five,” and Democratic analyst Donna Brazile recently left for ABC News. Even conservative pundits, Stephen Hayes and Jonah Goldberg quit last month in protest of Tucker’s lying documentary.

According to inside sources at Fox (people who work there but hate it), Wallace was frustrated working at a supposed “news” network where the agenda was being crafted by conspiracy theorists. Even worse, much of the Fox News programming has been set by Donald Trump over the past five years. If Trump says it, much of the network repeats it as fact.

Fun fact: Donald Trump doesn’t say facts.

The insiders also report that Wallace, along with Brett Bair, had complained to network executives over Tucker Carlson’s constant lie the election was stolen. The sources also state Wallace was upset and had complained about a so-called “documentary” by Tucker, titled “Patriot Purge,” which includes the false claim that the riot was a “false flag” operation created to demonize the political right.

And then there has been the network’s coverage over its own Christmas tree. The tree outside the headquarters of Fox News on 6th Avenue was set on fire, allegedly by a homeless man who may be mentally ill. Fox News’ reaction to this is that it’s a “war on Christmas” and a “hate crime” against Fox News. If you listen to Christians, Christmas is under attack and persecuted in this country. Starbucks Happy Holiday cups are probably a hate crime for not saying, “Merry Christmas.”

Fox’s commentators have referred to the tree as, “America’s Tree,” though the tradition of Fox News putting up the tree was started in 2019. Jeanine Pirro said the burning of the tree is “pure evil.” She stated on air, “It’s about good versus evil! Period!”

Ainsley Earhardt, co-host of Fox & Friends comforted his concerned viewers by promising the network will “build it back better.” Ya’ mean by going to the store and buying a new fake tree? Ainsley raised the stakes now and for his sake, this tree better be better, godammit. Maybe Ainsley can volunteer to provide all-night security just to make sure the new tree is hobo-proof. Maybe Fox News can give him a whistle.

Fox & Friends Steve Doocy said, “Apparently lighting a Christmas tree on fire is not a hate crime.” Co-host Brian Kilmeade replied, “But it is! “Who says it’s not a hate crime against us – against Fox News?” So, Fox News is a religion now? Well, I guess is it a division of the Trump Cult.

Conservatives don’t believe the murder of Ahmaud Arbery while jogging was a hate crime, but setting this fake fucking tree on fire is. What’s the next Fox News hate crime, burning a MyPillow?

Another fun fact: Like much of Fox News, that tree had no soul.

Kilmeade then went on a rant about crime. He said, “There is so much crime in places that were always safe, including 48th and Sixth here. This is emblematic of these cities out of control, defame and defund the police, and this bail reform that has these men and women, these assailants, these suspects out before they can even finish the paperwork.”

He went on, “no person is safe and no city is safe.” No Christmas tree is safe from homeless vagrants. Before you can even finish the paperwork on arrested suspects, they make bail and set out to burn down another fake Christmas tree. This is the worst thing to happen to conservatism since that time Donald Trump was forced to go out in the rain to commemorate veterans. Tucker hasn’t taken a personal blow like this since he was kicked out of that Swiss boarding school for pampered special boys. We haven’t seen attack on white Christians like this since all those black people walked in front of those gun-toting mustard-loving conservatives’ home in St. Louis, or since CNN slandered the Covington Kid by pointing out he’s a huge dick, or since that time someone somewhere tricked Kyle Rittenhouse into drinking underage in a white nationalist bar. And if you listen to the Fox fuckers, you’d believe it was the worst thing to happen to New York City since 9/11.

And you know the jerks across the street at MSNBC were craning their necks out the window to gawk and laugh at this ungodly attack on the wholesome Christian purity of Fox News. Those MSNBC savages? Was Rachel giggling?

I’m mostly surprised they haven’t blamed this assault on their fake tree on President Biden, or Vice-President Kamala Harris, or Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, or Ilhan Omar, of the rest of the squad, or Antifa, or Black Lives Matter, or Dr. Fauci, or Starbucks holiday cups, or my cartoon yesterday on Mike Nesmith (you should see my inbox), or vaccines, or people who celebrate Kwanza, or…

No wonder Chris Wallace is leaving.

Music note: While drawing today’s cartoon, I listened to Taylor Swift’s Folklore album.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Europe Is A Hoax

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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

I drew this last Friday shortly after my editor approved it after viewing the rough. Usually, I create a brand new canvas and start all over. I usually open the rough to view as a guide on my other computer screen, though I may change the entire layout. I never trace a rough because that kills the spontaneity. A lot of cartoonists do trace their own outline of a cartoon and there’s nothing wrong with that. I just never liked it much. But sometimes, I’ll really like the vibe of the rough and instead of opening a new canvas, go back to the rough and draw on top of it. That’s what I did with this one.

I couldn’t recapture the faces in the new drawing the way I did in the rough…so I just kept the faces in the rough. I went back over them, altered a few features, and sharpened it up. The rest of it was redrawn and of course, I had to do the lettering all over again because the lettering in the rough is always crap.

Most of all, I had to keep the ponytail. I was thinking about the character Paul Reiser plays in the Netflex series, The Kominsky Method.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Big Bird Attacked By Big Turd

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Senator and above-ground CHUD Ted Cruz has now attacked Big Bird for assuring children they don’t have to be afraid of the vaccines for the coronavirus.

After American six-year-olds, became eligible for the Pfizer-BioNTech coronavirus vaccine last week, Big Bird did a public service announcement to comfort children and to promote vaccine awareness. Big Bird got his vaccination and tweeted, “My wing is feeling a little sore, but it’ll give my body an extra protective boost that keeps me and others healthy.”

President Biden replied to Big Bird and tweeted, “Good on ya’, Big Bird. Getting vaccinated is the best way to keep your whole neighborhood safe.”

This is just a lot of fun while being also educational about the vaccine. This PSA can actually save lives and help us defeat the pandemic. Enter Ted Cruz.

Ted Cruz is worse than Philadelphia Eagles fans who once booed Santa Claus. Ted Cruz went after Big Bird. Ted tweeted, “Government propaganda … for your 5-year-old!” No, you idiot. It’s for six-year-olds. Maybe we need to do another PSA just for Republican senators. Didn’t a Republican win an election last week by claiming he’s the “education candidate?”

Ted later sent out another Big Bird-hater tweet with a video of him kicking a door in. Nice. I thought Ted Cruz approved of the Gestapo.

A couple weeks ago, Ted Cruz defended people giving the Heil salute. You know who gives that salute. Nazis. Ted Cruz defends Nazis and attacks Big Bird. But what else would you expect from a guy who worships a cult figure who called his wife, Heidi, “ugly.”

Because Republicans are in a race to prove who can be the vilest, Lisa Boothe, a Fox News contributor I have never heard of before, tweeted, “Brainwashing children who are not at risk from covid” was “twisted.” I don’t know why she used three quotation marks. I quote them without editing their fuckups. Maybe we need a PSA for Fox News contributors.

Arizona state Senator Wendy Rogers, a pro-Trump Republican, tweeted, “Big Bird is a communist.” That’s funny from someone who defends white nationalists.

Tennessee Republican congressional candidate Robby Starbuck suggested that Big Bird could die from the vaccine. “*7 days later* Big blood clot Bird is served!” It’s fun to go after a beloved character from a children’s program and spread disinformation. It’s fun to tell children, “Big Bird’s going to die!!!!” Starbucks should sue to force him to change his name. Nazi-lovers sharing your name is not good for business. Nobody except Republicans would buy from Nazi Starbucks.

This is not the first time the government has used public figures, real and imaginary, to advocate for vaccines. In the past, vaccinations were advocated in PSAs by Elvis, Muhammad Ali, C3PO, RD-D2, and even Big Bird back in the 70s. I’m not aware of conservatives being upset back then, though they did like attacking Muhammad Ali, you know, because he’s black and they couldn’t ever find a white guy who could beat him up. Personally, I’d like to see Ted Cruz go ten rounds with Big Bird. My money’s on the bird.

This isn’t the first time Republicans have called for the head of Big Bird. In 2012, while saying he loved Big Bird during a presidential debate with President Obama, Mitt Romney promised to kill Big Bird. During the Trump administration, the orange one tried to kill the yellow one every year he was in office. Again, the education candidates want to kill education. Trump’s Education Secretary, whose ideas for public education are being copied by Virginia’s new governor-elect, was worried about children being attacked in public schools by bears and Big Bird. I mean, Ted Cruz has already told us Big Bird can kick down doors. Elmo’s probably an evil samurai. The Count probably counted illegal votes for Biden. And a one, ah ah ah. And Oscar the Grouch? He’s grouchy and lives in garbage, so they probably love him.

So many people voted for Glenn Youngkin last week over frustration that schools were closed and their kids had to be taught at home. Yet, Republicans are attacking vaccinating kids, which will help keep schools open. Do we need another PSA?

I think there should be a public service announcement with Santa Claus, that way we can Ted Cruz starting a fight with Santa.

There should also be public service announcements stating:
Don’t watch Fox News.
Trump lost.
Republicans are liars.
There are no public schools in this nation teaching Critical Race Theory.
Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer.

Why are Republicans constantly trying to make this nation a worse place? I really do wish Big Bird would kick Ted Cruz’s ass.

Someone on Twitter posing as Big Bird did send a tweet to Ted saying, “Ted Cruz can’t tell you how to get to Sesame Street, but he can tell you how to get to Cancun.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Your Body My Choice

Cjones10052021

The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued an urgent recommendation Wednesday for pregnant women and those who have recently given birth to get vaccinated against coronavirus. This will surely piss off Republicans.

The CDC reports that as of September 27, 2021, more than 125,000 laboratory-confirmed COVID-19 cases have been reported in pregnant people, including more than 22,000 hospitalized cases and 161 deaths. Last August, at least 22 pregnant women died from the coronavirus. Their babies died too. How many so-called “right-to-life” Republicans have you heard wailing about that?

Studies have indicated that vaccines for both the flu and coronavirus are not harmful to the mother or her baby and in fact, some antibodies are transferred from mom to baby. But of course, Republicans don’t really care about you, the mom, the baby, or anyone’s life except their own.

While Republicans are screaming that the government and Democrats are trying to control everyone’s body with vaccine mandates, they’re fighting to mandate that no woman get an abortion. They claim it’s your body to do what you want with it, even if your body hurts other people’s bodies, but a woman can’t have a say with her body. You only think that’s confusing and hypocritical because it is. This just in: Republicans suck.

Here’s the thing, kiddos: Republicans don’t really care about choice when it comes to the vaccines. They don’t care if it kills you or your family. In fact, they want you to die. Why? Because they want the Biden administration to fail. If you die and the economy is destroyed, that’s bad for the country but Republicans believe that’s great politics. The longer this virus remains out of control, the more it hurts Democrats. Look what Republicans are doing in Congress with the budget. Failing to raise the debt ceiling can create a brand new recession and destroy the economy and Mitch McConnell’s all like, “Well, Democrats better raise it then.”

Why do I think Republicans don’t care if the virus kills you? Republicans and Donald Trump sat back and watched the virus kill over 700,000 Americans. Donald Trump didn’t care about the coronavirus until he caught the coronavirus. Did you see how fast he waddled to that helicopter to get him to the hospital? They didn’t care if it killed people while Trump was in office, so why would they care if it kills people while a Democrat is in the White House?

For Trump, Brett Kavanaugh, or dumbass conspiracy theorist Ben Garrison, too bad there’s not a vaccine for karma, baby.

Now, if Donald Trump was still president (sic), BRRRRR….I just got a chill throughout my entire body. But if Trump was still in the White House….BRRRR…there it goes again. If the other guy was still in charge…BRRRRR stop it!…Republicans would be chasing you down to get the vaccine. Some are still trying to label the vaccine the “Trump Vaccine,” which is an insult to science coming from Captain Combover Hydroxychloroquine. Even now, they’re praising Trump for the vaccine while denigrating the vaccine. Thank you Donald Trump for giving us this horrible thing.

Now, with the CDC advising, not mandating, that women who are preggers get the vaccine, that gives anti-science Taliban Republicans three things to hate. They hate the CDC, they hate the vaccine, and they hate women. They especially hate women making decisions that don’t involve them. Republicans want women barefoot, pregnant, seen and not heard, and as ignorant and stupid about current events and science as they are. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about reconciliation. Isn’t Dancing With The Stars on?

In Texas, where they’ve outlawed abortions and created bounty hunter laws for people to go after abortion providers, they’ve made it legal for someone to sue over an abortion who doesn’t have anything to do with that abortion. There is currently a lawsuit pending in Texas where a guy in a different state, who has never met the woman or doctor, is suing for damages. This guy is not damaged…I mean, yeah, he’s probably all sorts of damaged being from Arkansas and all, but not from this shit. It wasn’t his baby, his doctor, or even his state.

Republicans don’t think you can sue a tobacco company that sold you toxic chemicals to inhale into your lungs, but you can sue a doctor 4,000 miles away in another state for giving an abortion to a woman you’ve never known or touched. And we know you haven’t touched a lot of women because you’re a Republican.

But that’s the Republicans’ playbook. They want to eliminate your decisions regarding your body when it doesn’t have anything to do with them. Now in Texas, they’ve outlawed a woman making choices for her body while making it legal for complete male strangers to control their bodies. And the male majority Supreme Court is saying, “Yeah, OK.”

I’m sure some Republicans will create new conspiracy theories about pregnant women getting vaccinations, like it’ll make goat-head babies. That would be ba’aaaaaad.

But Republicans only care about your baby while it’s in the womb. They only want it born because mass shooters gotta shoot somebody at schools so Alex Jones can later say it never happened.

For Republicans, it’s your body, their choice…or some weird stranger in Arkansas.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Benjy’s Bleachy Butt

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Ben Garrison has self-diagnosed he has the coronavirus.

I hope Benjy gets through this OK, whether it’s truly COVID or just a bad case of the Montana sniffles. But, I think it’s fair to mock and ridicule him because it’s karma. It’s fair like that time Donald Trump played down the pandemic, treated it like a hoax, told lies about it, did nothing for the longest time which enabled the virus to kill more people than it should have, disregarded CDC guidelines, then caught COVID, and went crying to the hospital in a helicopter to receive treatment nobody else could get. Karma.

While I don’t wish bad things on anyone, I do think it’s OK to give them a Nelson Muntz HA-HA when they took part in spreading conspiracy theories and misinformation that kills people…and continues to do so. We would have defeated this virus months ago if it wasn’t for people like Ben Garrison.

In case you need a refresher and you’re asking, “Who’s Ben Garrison, ” I’ll sum up.

Ben Garrison is a fucking lunatic. He’s racist. He’s antiSemitic (so antiSemitic, he was invited then disinvited from a racist summit at Trump’s White House. He’s so hateful, Trump couldn’t be seen with him). He’s a hater. He’s a MAGA cultist. And…he thinks he’s a political cartoonist. He’s not a political cartoonist. He is a propagandist.

Political cartooning is a type of journalism. While it is opinion, the practitioners are to abide by the generally accepted ethics of journalism. You’re not on a high horse or working with a better-than-thou attitude to say you follow ethical guidelines. They’re rules. If you play baseball, you’re not on a high-horse by demanding four strikes instead of three. You’re just playing by the rules. Though, I must admit I’m seeing a lot more disregard for the rules in this business and quite frankly, it seems people and news outlets aren’t caring as much.

But one thing you’re not supposed to do is make stuff up. There is a fine line with satire as you are putting words in people’s mouths, but you’re basing it on something. You know Trump doesn’t walk around with a sippy cup with shit I write on it, but you do know he’s a baby who needs two hands to pick up a cup. See what I do there? I base it on something. Now, right-wing Trump-supporting cartoonists are basing their opinions on total and complete bullshit.

A lot of cartoonists are like columnists and TV pundits. They only mention what helps their argument, or hurts someone else’s, while leaving stuff out that hurts their position. But, they’re still basing what they say on facts. This is spin.

Conservative cartoonists like Scott Stantis, Steve Breen, and Nate Beeler are journalists. They rely on facts so much, they’re becoming moderate conservatives. I’ve seen all three of these cartoonists take on Trump, The Big Lie, and promote vaccines and CDC guidelines while also criticizing President Biden. I don’t have an issue with people I disagree with. Cartoonists have a tradition of shouting at each other while drinking together. In the past, we all got along for the most part. I recall very few political arguments at cartoonist conventions. But even then, we usually enjoy arguing with each other. Politics never got in the way of us getting along. Maybe personalities did, but nobody cared that Michael Ramirez always wore a Nixon pin to the conventions.

There are a few others who kinda straddle the line a bit. It’s like they take advantage of Trumplican bullshit, like advocating for bogus election laws and carrying the mantra of “election integrity” while not saying the election was stolen or Biden didn’t win.

The cartoonists I take issue with are the ones who lie and base their stuff on lies that have been debunked. There are a few who do this but Garrison is the worst…or the best at it. The cartoonists I take issue with are the ones who aren’t real cartoonists, like Ben Garrison.

Garrison’s cartoons are hilarious because he makes Trump look like Superman. He has a surfer body and his hair is only a little crazy. But, Ben lies. He makes stuff up and worships at the altar of Trump. If Trumps says it, it’s a fact. Ben is also extremely racist and antiSemitic.

But since the vaccine came out, Garrison been on a campaign against it. He claims it’s being used by the government to control and censor. He’s compared it to 1984 which he obviously didn’t read. He’s blamed Soros, Bill Gates, Deep State, and Jews. He’s even claimed microchips to track us are in the vaccine. He’s pushed Trump’s bogus cures and other lies. He’s drawing daily telling people not to get the vax and to just take horse de-wormer.

Now, he himself has covid, as reported by Gizmodo.

Ben has diagnosed himself and his wife as having COVID. I hope his wife can escape while Ben is sleeping or distracted by Newsmax, climbs out the bathroom window to go to a hospital (not a livestock hospital) to be diagnosed by an actual doctor.

Ben claims he went to dinner at a restaurant, where they probably don’t sell a lot of salads, with his wife and friends and the next day, they all had COVID. He will not go to a hospital, says he lost 15 pounds, and is treating it with Ivermectin, zinc, and by drinking a lot of beetroot juice. None of that cures COVID and the Ivermectin has been blamed for several deaths. But BenBen is undeterred from his bogus cure and remains anti-science. But maybe he’ll panic after he starts pooping red from the beetroot juice, and goes to a hospital.

When Gizmodo asked Garrison if he was vaccinated, he replied, “We will never take their foul spike protein-producing jabs, which are neither safe nor effective. They’re not real vaccines. They’re gene therapy.” I’m feeling a bit spent so feel free to take it upon yourself to analyze Ben’s reasoning there.

And that’s why it’s OK to mock him. If Ben had gotten the vaccine, worn a face mask, and practiced social distancing, maybe he wouldn’t have contracted the virus. And if his wife had married someone who’s not a fucknut, she would probably still be able to taste pork chops. But even if they did get the vaccine and still caught COVID, the Garrisons wouldn’t still be struggling two weeks later with a loss of taste, smell, and appetite while sucking down beetroot juice and horse pills.

When you have a position that’s given you followers, and you tell your followers misinformation and endanger their lives, then you should be ridiculed when karma strikes. If Ben’s going to use his position to lie to people, then I’m going to use mine to call out his lies. Is my cartoon cruel and bad form? Why, yes it is. But it’s also performing a public service.

I’m using my position and ability to satire to show readers that people like Ben are snake oil salesmen and to see what their preaching did for them. If anything, my ridiculing Garrison may educate someone and they’ll get the message not to take medical advice from a Jew-hater taking a Clorox colonoscopy.

OK, they’re Trumpers so they’re probably not listening to me. You can lead a horse to take Ivermectin for COVID, but you can’t make him think.

Ben, I hope you and your wife get well. Sincerely, I don’t wish you harm. I want to mock and ridicule you again in the future. P.S. Biden won.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: