turkey

Goodbye, Turkeys


cjones11272020

I’m breaking a couple of my rules with this cartoon. One is, I’ve drawn enough turkeys this year. The other is drawing a cartoon with a holiday theme that’s dated after the holiday. This is dated for Friday, which as you probably know, is AFTER Thanksgiving. But, I don’t make my clients embargo my cartoons by the dates, which means they can run them as soon as they get them.

But, I like drawing turkeys…and I like drawing Trump goons. And in my defense, how many more opportunities do I have to draw these people? Have you seen the type of people Joe Biden’s putting in his administration? Adults! How am I supposed to work with that?

In the Biden administration, I don’t see any inept son-in-laws wanting to create a back channel with Russia while taking loans from Arab kingdoms. I don’t see a daughter and her husband receiving security clearances when they don’t qualify. I don’t see a veep lavishing worship on the boss every minute while attracting flies. I don’t see an Attorney General turning the Justice Department into an agency that acts as the president’s personal attorney…which they did in going to court to block a civil suit against Trump by one of his sexual accusers. I don’t see a baby Goebbels in this administration writing policies that’ll kill immigrant children. I don’t see a goon going to prison whose sentence the president will commute. Say what you want about Hunter, but I don’t see a son in this administration as stupid as Donald Trump Jr. I don’t see a personal attorney spreading conspiracy theories outside a dildo store while his hair is leaking transmission fluid. I don’t see the president encouraging right-wing terrorists to shoot and murder protesters or telling them to “stand by.” I don’t see Nazis and Klansmen holding parades for this incoming president. I don’t even see hamburgers.

So, how much fun do I have left? It’s not like next Thanksgiving, when President Joe Biden is pardoning a turkey, I can compare it to him pardoning his goons, children, or even himself. Sheesh! What sort of presidency is this going to be for cartoonists? We have been spoiled by Donald Trump. With Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, I’m going to have to go back to writing my own material. Dammit all.

Sure. Joe Biden has gaffes but they’re not going to make up for a president (sic) who tries to redirect a hurricane with a Sharpie, or asks about nuking that hurricane, or advises people to rake forests, or talks about windmill cancer. Joe Biden has never gone to a debate and talked about the size of his penis. Seriously, people…you left me nothing to work with here.

Maybe our new Secretary of State will scream at a reporter and challenge her to find Ukraine on a map. No? He’s not an asshole? Aw, man!

Maybe Ashley Biden will sit in for the president at international summits, or get a bunch of Chinese patents, or be investigated for tax fraud. No? She’s not corrupt? Maybe Jill Biden will say “fuck Christmas.” I know. Not very likely when you replace a porn model with a teacher who has a doctorate.

Thanks a lot, America. Sure. You saved the nation from a stupid narcissistic racist reality TV show host and his grifting, and now we’ll stop putting babies in jail and ripping families apart. We’ll save the climate, perhaps stop palling around with dictatorships, and start using complete sentences again…but at what cost? Did you think about the cartoonists and comedians? Did you not think about the satire? No, you didn’t. I hope you’re proud of yourself, America.

It’s not fair. Even the democratic goons Biden could have hired, Donald Trump took. I don’t even have a Blagojevich with this administration. Shit.

So because of all that, you get another turkey cartoon. You can’t blame me. All I have left is an administration full of adults to try to make something out of with my cartoons.

And the fact Donald Trump and his goons will never go away or stop tweeting. Never ever ever. I guess there’s that.

Update: I went back and added Michael Flynn after he was pardoned today.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Turkey Coup Fail


cjones11262020

Donald Trump’s coup has failed.

Yesterday, the head of the General Services Administration, a low-profile agency that directs resources for stuff like government real estate and oh yeah…transition funds from one presidential administration to the next, announced it was approving the transition to the Biden administration.

After a presidential election when a new leader is elected, the GSA routinely releases funding to the new administration so there will be a smooth transition between the election and when the new president takes the oath of office in January. Although the head of the agency is appointed by the outgoing president, there’s usually no drama over this person doing their job. That was not the case this time.

Emily Murphy is the head of the General Services Administration. Emily Murphy has been described as a by-the-books administrator. Emily Murphy is a coward.

Joe Biden won the election 16 days ago. And even though Donald Trump was having a public hissy fit, hiding in his bunker except to play golf, refusing to answer reporters’ questions, throwing out conspiracy theories, issuing over 300 lying tweets since the election, losing over 30 legal challenges, inviting state Republican legislators to the White House to coerce them to reject their citizens votes, and having Rudy Giuliani hold press conferences outside dildo stores and icking all over the place, Emily Murphy could have approved the transition process to begin.

Even if by some bizarro-world situation where Trump flipped states and would remain president for the next four years (Brrr! I just got a chill), nothing would have been lost by preparing for a Biden presidency. No harm would have been done. If Joe Biden was receiving the same daily intelligence briefings as Donald Trump, it wouldn’t have been a risk to this nation.

When it comes to the security briefings, Joe Biden has been in positions previously where he received them. Unlike Donald Trump, Joe Biden would qualify for a security clearance without being president. Unlike Donald Trump, Joe Biden would actually read the briefing material. Unlike Donald Trump, Joe Biden would not tweet or share classified information with Vladimir Putin. Unlike Donald Trump, Joe Biden would not overrule the FBI and give security clearances to his daughter and son-in-law (who was trying to create a back channel with Russia and is in debt to Middle Eastern kingdoms).

Emily Murphy could have said, “I know Trump is going to be a big baby about this but I’m moving the process forward. It’s the right thing to do.” She could have done the right thing…but she didn’t. That will be her legacy. Imagine how she would have been remembered if she had done the right thing. You can only imagine it because Emily Murphy is a coward.

Emily Murphy released a statement saying, “I was never directly or indirectly pressured by any Executive Branch official — including those who work at the White House or GSA — with regard to the substance or timing of my decision.” Bullshit.

Emily Murphy is a coward and just like every Republican in Washington, she was afraid of angering Trump and his MAGAts. She claims she received death threats. I doubt Democrats were issuing those threats. She claimed even her pets received death threats. How do you claim you didn’t feel any pressure when people are threatening your dog?

Emily Murphy is a coward and she should have done her job in the first place. She shouldn’t have waited 16 days. She is just another Trump goon who put the cult before duty. Even though she was hired by Trump, she works for the citizens of the United States of America, not Donald Trump. She is paid by us, not Donald Trump. She should have done her job.

What Donald Trump did was put himself before the nation. He undermined our democracy. He told his supporters our election failed. He told his supporters they can’t trust democracy. He told our allies the president (sic) of the United States didn’t believe in democracy. He told our enemies the president (sic) of the United states didn’t believe in democracy. Donald Trump tried to remain president after losing an election. Donald Trump attempted a coup. Emily Murphy, like so many Republicans, enabled him.

Emily Murphy, you are not a hero. You are not brave. You are a failure and a sycophant of the cult. You’re no better than Kayleigh McEnany, Stephen Baby Goebbels Miller, or Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin. And just like all the MAGAts Trump brought with him, I look forward to your dismissal after January 20.

Donald Trump is boasting he has delivered a vaccine to the coronavirus. He really didn’t have anything to do with that but still, his stonewalling the Biden transition endangers the distribution of the vaccine after he’s gone.

Donald Trump hasn’t just be trying to discredit the Biden administration. His actions were an attempt to make it fail. And if that means more Americans died, for Donald Trump, so be it. It’s not like he cared about Americans dying from the virus before the election. If more Americans die after Trump leaves office, even if it’s his fault, he can blame Biden and tweet about it.

Now, he’s going to pin a medal on himself for approving the transition. Donald Trump tweeted he told Murphy to release the transition funds while Murphy is saying she made the decision on her own. These people need to coordinate their bullshit.

Even If Murphy never did release the funds before January 20, it wouldn’t have stopped Joe Biden from becoming president. While Trump goons say the media doesn’t decide who wins elections, neither does the GSA or the president (sic). Joe Biden will be president on January 20 and there’s nothing Donald Trump or Emily Murphy can do about that. But, they’re still going to give the impression Donald Trump allowed it.

Prediction: Donald Trump will be praised by the Trump media and MAGAts for being a big boy and getting out of the way for Joe Biden. You’ll see. Geraldo Rivera wants to name the vaccine to the virus that Donald Trump allowed to kill over 250,000…after Donald Trump to “honor” him. That’s how these people are. We should NOT name any vaccine after Donald Trump. We have named the virus after him. He is the virus, not the cure.

If anyone’s the cure, it’s Joe Biden.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

Trump’s Gobblers


cjones11202020

Before the election, we worried about election interference from foreign nations like Russia, Iran, and China. After the election, we have to worry about election interference from Trump fuckers.

The sycophants are attacking our election after the results are in.

From the parking lot of a landscaping business he confused for a hotel and next to a dildo store, Rudy Giuliani spread lie after lie about election fraud. He’s gone onto Trump TV to continue spreading conspiracy theories. He’s made claim after claim about fraud and voting machines that are moving votes from Trump to Biden. All are lies.

Lindsey Graham, South Carolina’s Republican senator who just won reelection, called the Secretary of State of Georgia to inquire about the vote count there. In case you’re a Republican, Georgia is NOT in South Carolina. While on the call, Graham inquired as to how some votes for Joe Biden could be tossed out.

Last night in Michigan, where Joe Biden won, the Republicans on an election board refused to certify votes from Detroit which would have given Donald Trump the state. Joe Biden won Michigan with over 146,000 more votes than Donald Trump…and the Republicans tried to throw out all those votes. They relented and finally certified the votes after demanding an audit based upon Giuliani’s lies and bullshit. I guess they were hoping nobody was paying attention.

Also last night, Donald Trump fired Chris Krebs, the Department of Homeland Security official who issued an official press release stating the 2020 elections were the most secure in our nation’s history.

What are these people doing? They’re trying to steal an election. That’s the thing about Republicans. They love democracy as long as it gives them the results they want. If it doesn’t, then fuck democracy.

Don’t you think the Michigan Republicans took an oath, vow, or made some sort of promise to serve the people of Michigan honestly and with full integrity? I bet they didn’t promise to serve a cult, yet that’s exactly what they tried to get away with. This is called “Trump Fuckery.”

Before he was ever mayor, Rudy Giuliani was actually a highly respected prosecutor. Then something happened and today he’s serving up lies in the name of a cult. He’s serving as Trump’s top lawyer and has tried to rope Ukraine into running interference on behalf of Trump. Rudy has become the number one advocate for debunked conspiracy theories. What do you want to bet her never brought a conspiracy theory as evidence into a court room? Rudy’s reputation is shot and he will not be remembered as “America’s mayor.” Rudy will be remembered as a Trump flunky who served the cult while engaging in crazy conspiracy theories and Trump Fuckery.

Back in 2015 and 2016, Lindsey Graham was warning us about Donald Trump. He told us not to vote for him. He warned of Trump’s corruption and racism. After Trump was elected, Graham referred to him as “Mr. President-Elect,” a term he won’t use for Joe Biden. He’s told Donald Trump not to concede. He’s making calls into states he does not represent to pressure officials to thwart democracy. How would Lindsey feel if South Carolina threw out votes for him? Lindsey will forever be remembered as a brown-nosing sycophant who practiced Trump fuckery.

These people are trying to overturn a legal election and void the voice of the people. If they succeed, we will not have a president. We will have a dictator. If this election is overturned, we’ll never have another election ever again…at least not a real one.

Everything these people are doing, Giuliani, Graham, Trump, the Michigan fuckers, needs to be looked into legally. Have they broken the law? Maybe some people should be going to jail. Fortunately, after 12:00 PM January 20, 2021, Donald Trump can’t pardon anyone.

After Trump is out of the White House in January, we should have a second Thanksgiving because there’s going to be a lot to be thankful for and a lot of turkeys that deserve to be carved up.

I call dibs on a drum stick.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Trump’s Gobbler


cjones11182019

Remember that “tough guy” letter Donald Trump sent to Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan? In it, Trump warned him not to invade Syria and go after our Kurdish allies, whose Syrian Democratic Forces lost 11,000 fighters battling against the Islamic State alongside American troops. Trump’s spontaneous decision to withdraw American forces from the region opened up an opportunity for Erdogan to go after our allies, whom he considers terrorists. Trump, who bills himself and his followers claim is a tough guy, believed a letter warning Erdogan not to be a “tough guy” and that Trump could destroy his economy would prevent him from invading.

Yeah, he ignored the letter and invaded anyway. Did Trump destroy his economy? No. Tough guy Trump invited him to the White House where Erdogan handed the “tough guy” letter right back to Trump.

On top of the White House visit, Trump offered a new trade deal to Turkey that is designed to work around sanctions Congress plans to inflict upon that nation over their purchasing a missile defense system from Russia.

Wait a minute. Isn’t Turkey a member of NATO? Isn’t Russia an adversary to NATO and the United States? Why is Trump rewarding Erdogan for invading Syria, going after our Kurdish allies, and purchasing a weapons system from our adversary? Sanctions are mandated under the Countering America’s Adversaries Through Sanctions Act (CAATSA), aimed at those who purchase Russian defense equipment. Yet, the Trump administration is making excuses not to implement those against Trump’s buddy, Erdogan.

Erdogan is Trump’s kind of guy. He’s thrown journalists in prisons. He’s gone after people who criticize him. He’s set events in motion that will keep him in power for years beyond his term. He’s purged judges (the average law-practicing experience of a Turkish judge is now two years). He’s restricted the ability for political opposition to be elected to their legislative body. He even annulled an Istanbul mayoral election after the opposition party won. His authoritarian management style and cronyism within the ruling party have created a climate of fear that’s paralyzing dissent and democracy. To this, Trump says, “I’m a big fan.”

In Trump’s “tough guy” letter, he told Erdogan that Ferhat Abdi Sahin, a Turkish military leader, is “willing to negotiate with you, and he is willing to make concessions that they would never have made in the past.” Wednesday, Erdogan rejected that idea and said Adbi was a terrorist “instrumental in the killing of hundreds of Turkish civilians.”  He didn’t stop there.

Erdogan pulled out an iPad and showed Trump and the five Republican senators the White House invited a propaganda video. He was in the right place for propaganda videos. This video cast the Kurds in a bad light. According to sources present, the senators laid into Erdogan over his invasion, the Kurds, his purchase of Russian military equipment, and warned him there will be sanctions and denied the purchase of U.S. military jets (which put together with Russia’s equipment is a national security risk for us). Reportedly, Trump was mostly silent during the criticism. One source described it as “good cop/bad cop.” Later, Trump declared himself a “big fan” of Erdogan.

Trump is a big fan of people like Erdogan, Putin, Kim Jong Un, Xi Jinping, Rodrigo Duterte, Robert Kraft, etc.

When Trump sent his “tough guy” letter to Erdogan, professional journalists had to check with the White House to make sure it was real and they weren’t being pranked by The Onion. Its juvenile tone made it difficult to take seriously. Erdogan didn’t take it seriously. He authorized the invasion of Syria the same day he received the letter. To give it back to Trump, he had to fish it out of the trash can where he previously had disposed of it.

Trump claims he’s respected like no American president before him. His supporters think world leaders are afraid to cross him. Why would they be? After giving us nothing, North Korea just got a gift from Trump: A threat to increase the cost to South Korea of U.S. troop presence by nearly 500%. Putin attacks our country and Trump wants to invite him back to the G7 and go to a parade with him. He awards White House visits and military aid based upon a foreign country providing him with dirt on political opponents.

And yesterday, after threatening Erdogan not to be a “tough guy” and that he’ll destroy his economy, Trump gave him a pardon.

It was the first time in history a turkey has been pardoned by a poodle.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

The Magic Mikes


cjones10212019

Maybe I’m just naive and don’t understand diplomacy or foreign policy, but it seems to me if you’re going to have a successful ceasefire, then both sides have to agree on the definition of “ceasefire.”

Donald Trump, the self-described “stable genius” and “great negotiator” with “unmatched wisdom,” sent sycophant Mike One and sycophant Mike Two to Turkey to negotiate an agreement with President Recep Erdogan to stop killing Kurds. Pompeo and Pence emerged after a nine-hour negotiation with Erdogan that Turkey has agreed to stop killing Kurds for five days to give them time to leave a 20-mile “safe zone,” and that the Kurds must surrender their heavy weaponry and fortifications. What the Kurds get out of this is that they have five days to run before Turkey shoots them in the back while they’re running.

Reuters is reporting that the border is calm at this time, but within the first 24 hours, shelling and airstrikes against the Kurds continued. Erdogan blamed the Kurds though independent reporters and observers reported airstrikes and shelling coming from Turkey. But, Donald Trump backed Erdogan in blaming the Kurds. In fact, despite the “tough guy” letter Trump sent to Erdogan, he’s adopted the Turkish tyrant’s language when talking about the Kurds.

Erdogan has described the Kurds as terrorists and Trump has parroted that Turkey is fighting terrorism in Syria. Erdogan has claimed ISIS prisoners are being released intentionally by the Kurds, and Trump has echoed that. Erdogan claims the PKK, Kurdistan Workers’ Party, is a greater threat than Isis. Right on cue, Trump has made the same claim.

He’s taking Vladimir Putin’s talking points also in saying Russia is fighting ISIS when in reality, they’ve spent most of their time in Syria fighting rebels, often backed by the U.S., who are fighting Syria’s dictator Bashar Assad. This is Trump’s defense of giving Russia more clout in the Middle East while reducing the United States’. As Nancy Pelosi told him to this face earlier this week, “all roads lead to Putin.”

Trump started the Turkish invasion by pulling U.S. forces out of Syria on a whim after a phone call with Erdogan. Within hours, Turkey was invading Syria and targeting Kurdish fighters previously supported by the U.S. Donald Trump believes he’s solved a crisis he created.

The groups fighting in Syria now are Assad’s forces, the Kurds, Turkey, Russia, and Iran. Trump’s pullout is a win for each of them except the Kurds. At one of his hate rallies in Texas, Trump compared the fight to kids in a schoolyard and said, “Sometimes you have to let them fight a little while.” He also said he had given the Turks and Kurds a lesson in “tough love.” Hopefully, it didn’t involve a copy of Forbes Magazine with Ivanka on the cover which he’ll have to pay hush money to keep silent about later. Trump also claimed the Kurds are “very happy about the way things are going” and that the U.S. has “taken control of the oil in the Middle East.” Nobody understands what he meant by any of that.

Kids in a schoolyard fighting can’t be compared to an actual war where lives are lost and a refugee crisis is created. If the Kurds are “happy,” they’re not aware of it yet. And the oil, what the fuck? Trump’s comments are further evidence he needs to be removed from office.

Right now, every nation that wants to take advantage of the United States, friends and foes, needs to negotiate with Donald Trump. His negotiations with North Korea gave the U.S. nothing in return for legitimizing Kim’s regime and a cease in U.S. military preparedness on the Korean peninsula. His negotiations with Nancy Pelosi got him nothing when he started with something. His deal with Erdogan has given Turkey, Russia, and Iran everything, and even Assad a little something, but nothing for the Kurds or the U.S. If Iran was smart, they’d renegotiate the nuclear agreement with Trump, get clearance to build nuclear weapons, and maybe get a few Trump condos thrown into the deal.

Donald Trump is an idiot and he sent two idiots, Mike and Mike, to Turkey to wash Erdogan’s car. My question is, what else of Erdogan’s did they wash?

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Trump’s Turkey Letter


cjones10192019

Warren Harding was not a good president. Even during his term, he was regarded as a failed president and that perception remains with today’s historians who rank him among the worst. His administration was visionless, ineffectual and corrupt. He slashed immigration quotas, appointed his cronies, one of whom accepted bribes from oil companies in what became known as the Teapot Dome scandal, and brought an end to the reform-minded eras of his predecessors. He had a lover on the side to whom he wrote letters to in which he referred to his penis as Jerry. The Republican Party, concerned that the affair wouldn’t just expose Harding as a cheater but that his lover supported Germany in World War I, paid her an amount that would be nearly $300,000 today in hush money. The RNC even paid for her and her husband to go on a lengthy trip to Japan, and Harding himself offered her $5,000 a year as long as he was in public service. Corruption, mistresses, hush money, ending reforms, scaling back immigration, weird penis story, etc. Does any of this sound familiar?

Harding did not belong in the presidency, but at least he wasn’t oblivious to that fact as he once conceded, “I am not fit for this office and should never have been here.”

Donald Trump is not fit for his office and he shouldn’t be there. But, unlike Harding, he doesn’t know it. In fact, he tells us he’s a “stable genius,” has “unmatched wisdom,” and boasts of imaginary accomplishments that “only he” could have accomplished.

Donald Trump is stupid. He’s also a man-child. When Hillary Clinton called him “Putin’s Puppet,” his retort was, “You’re the puppet.” Yesterday, after a failed meeting with Congressional leaders over Syria, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said he had a “meltdown.” His retort this time? She had the “meltdown.” She said she “prays for his health,” and he tweeted, “Nancy Pelosi needs help fast! There is either something wrong with her ‘upstairs,’ or she just plain doesn’t like our great Country. She had a total meltdown in the White House today. It was very sad to watch. Pray for her, she is a very sick person!” If Pelosi had called him a “poopy head,” he would have replied she’s a “poopy head.” I hope he’s never in a rap battle (actually, I think I would like to see that).

Trump later tweeted out a photo of the meeting he thought would make him look good to his base. In it, Pelosi is standing at a table, fully occupied by men, directly across from Trump, seemingly confronting him. Instead of it humiliating her, she made it her header photo on Twitter. It’s like the time I bought a water pistol to scold my dog with, and he ended up barking for more sprays from the water pistol (maybe we should try the water pistol technique on Trump).

In another act of obliviousness, Trump proudly distributed a letter he wrote to Turkish president Recip Erdogan, which reads like it was written by a third-grader on Adderall.

Upon seeing the letter on Facebook, I thought, that’s good satire. It sounds just like something he would write, or in his case, dictate. Though, they may have gone over the top with the stupidity…oh wait….that shit’s real? Even the press had to check with the White House to see if it was genuine. To everyone’s astonishment, the White House confirmed its authenticity. Have you ever turned on TV news to see every anchor with their mouths hanging open? This is an actual letter from one world leader to another and not some drama-filled vague Facebook post from one teen to another about checking out her boyfriend (I have nieces. I’ve seen these)?

In it, Trump says, “Let’s make a deal” and he further warns that he’ll destroy Turkey’s economy if a deal isn’t made over the Kurds whom he abandoned like a first or second wife. He tells Erdogan he doesn’t want to be “responsible for the slaughter of thousands of people” and that history will look “favorably” on him if he gets it done the “right and humane” way. Or, that it’ll look upon him “forever as the devil if good things don’t happen,” like how it’ll look on Republicans still supporting Trump after they see this rambling trainwreck of a letter. He further warns Erdogan, “don’t be a tough guy,” and “don’t be a fool!” then strangest of all, sums it up with, “I’ll call you.”

Donald Trump doesn’t just need to be impeached. He needs to be checked into a facility where he can receive help. I don’t mean that to insult or attack him. There’s something wrong with him.

Trump also tweeted his high approval rating within the GOP base, seemingly aware Republicans may be flaking, as two-thirds of House Republicans voted in favor of a resolution condemning his decision to pull United States troops out of Syria. There are reports several Republicans are privately expressing they’re tired of dealing with Trump. There are fears in the White House that a Senate trial could actually be a disaster for him, as each day reveals new details of his corruption while he continues to exhibit a mental disorder.

Impeaching Trump as punishment is all well and good, but that’s the least of it. He needs to be removed because if not, he will continue to endanger this nation. The man is a Russian asset and a national security risk (he even revealed we have nukes in Turkey, which goes against a longstanding government policy of not saying where they are. Next, he’ll tweet the codes).

Donald Trump doesn’t know how to be president, let alone a rational, stable adult. Republicans who continue to support him don’t know how to be Americans.

Donald Trump is not fit for this office and he doesn’t belong here.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Kurds Get Trumped


cjones10112019

Donald Trump is not just a risk to our national security. He’s a risk for the world’s security.

Trump has a good argument about America being in “forever wars,” like Afghanistan. He’s not the first to make the argument as it’s one that’s been carried by Republicans and Democrats alike. But pulling our troops out of Kurdish-held northern Syria isn’t removing us from a “forever war,” as most of the fighting on our behalf has been done by Syrian Kurds. They’ve fought with our equipment and training to defeat ISIS.

This is where it gets tricky. The Kurds are holding about 11,000 ISIS fighters. Trump says Turkey must now take responsibility for those prisoners. They also operate camps for families displaced by the war, holding tends of thousands of people. Many of them are non-Syrian wives and children of ISIS fighters.

Turkey does not like the Kurds. They have been fighting separatist Kurds inside their borders for years and consider all Kurdish fighters, including our allies, the Syrian Kurds, to be terrorists. Turkey is planning to invade Northern Syria after the U.S. removes its protection of the Kurds.

Syria’s dictator, who the Kurds have also been fighting, along with ISIS while they’ve been fighting ISIS (told you it’s confusing), controls the southern half of Syria. President Bashar al-Assad is backed by Putin and he wants to retake northern Syria. He’s looking to make a deal with the Kurds. Russia also has troops in Syria.

On Monday, a bipartisan group of lawmakers issued a joint statement saying, “If Turkey attacks these Kurdish soldiers, there is a grave risk that the ISIS fighters they guard will escape and return to the battlefield.” Susan Rice, the former national security adviser for President Obama, told Stephen Colbert, “This is batshit crazy.” Trump’s former UN ambassador Nikki Haley said we’re leaving the Syrian Kurds “to die.” Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell came out of his shell and said this will benefit the Syrian regime, Iran, and Russia.” Even Lindsey Graham, who usually resides in Donald Trump’s butt, said this is “complete chaos” and a “disaster.” The butt, however, according to Lindsey, is nice this time of year.

This is America bailing on an ally after they helped us defeat ISIS. Already, there are reports of Turkish artillery shelling and airstrikes on Syrian Kurdish positions. Trump made the decision after a phone call with Turkish President Recep Erdogan, probably after Erdogan promised dirt on Hunter Biden.

The White House said Turkey would “now be responsible for all ISIS fighters in the area captured over the past two years.” Turkey replied, “Yeah, uh-huh. Right.”

The United States has a long history of abandoning the Kurds. President Richard Nixon helped foment a Kurdish uprising in Iraq to fight Iran. But after Iran and Iraq mended fences in 1975, we turned out back on the insurrection and left them to be slaughtered and driven into exile. In 1991, George H.W. Bush called on Iraqis to rise up against dictator Saddam Hussien. After we were done with Desert Storm, we abandoned the Kurds again and Saddam crushed them. Last August, the Trump administration convinced the Kurds to pull back from the Turkish border and dismantle their fortifications. Now, with those fortifications dismantled, Donald Trump has given Turkey the green light to invade northern Syria.

Trump’s former top diplomat in the war against ISIS, Brett McGurk tweeted, “The value of an American handshake is depreciating.” Plus with Trump, you don’t know where that hand’s been.

Hearing the criticism and concern over Turkey’s intentions, Trump tweeted yesterday, “If Turkey does anything that I, in my great and unmatched wisdom, consider to be off limits, I will totally destroy and obliterate the Economy of Turkey (I’ve done before!).” Well, shoot. I guess we were all concerned about nothing because we still have Trump’s “great and unmatched wisdom” to take care of things. If nothing else, he’ll destroy Turkey’s economy like he did before which nobody remembers happening.

The conflict of interest in this crisis should also be noted. There are Trump Towers in Istanbul (in case you’re a Republican, Istanbul is in Turkey). Trump’s proud of these towers and said in 2015, “It’s called Trump Towers. Two towers instead of one. Not the usual one. It’s two.” Unfortunately for the Kurds, they don’t even have one Trump Tower.

We are bailing on our allies and proving to the world we can’t be trusted. Our next president, unless it’s Mike Pence, will have to rebuild that trust. Someone said, “Don’t forget, that’s their territory. We have to help them. They fought with us. They died. We lost tens of thousands of Kurds, died fighting ISIS. They died for us and with us. And for themselves. They died for themselves. They’re great people. And we have not forgotten. We don’t forget.” In case you can’t tell from that sentence structure, Donald Trump said that. He said it last year and, I think he forgot.

All these world leaders who throw Trump parades, flattery, visits to secret cities, sword dances, and promise investigations based on conspiracy theories on his political opponents need to keep in mind, Trump is not loyal. But for us, when Trump bails on an ally, it’s not just his reputation he’s harming. He’s making America look bad. Sure, world leaders in the future will realize our next president fully understands two towers is more than one tower, but they’ll remember we’re the idiots who put an orange idiot in the White House.

We need to show the world that we can do one thing right and that is impeaching Donald Trump because he’s bringing America’s credibility down to his level. And in case you’re a Republican, his level is a sewer.

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Ingrate Gobbler


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The Idiot-in-Chief couldn’t stop tweeting dumb shit this weekend. What else is new, right? He attacked Arizona Republican Senator Jeff Flake, and tweeted, “was caught (purposely) on “mike” saying bad things about your favorite President.” My first thought was, what did Flake say about Teddy Roosevelt? By the way, Mr. Cheeto…it’s “mic,” not “mike,” unless you named the microphone “Michael.”

Trump also tweeted his outrage that a player for the Oakland Raiders stood for the Mexican national anthem, but took a knee during our anthem, before the Raiders/Patriots game in Mexico City. First, why would Marshawn Lynch, the player Trump referenced, be upset with Mexico? Second, for a guy boycotting the NFL Trump is watching a lot of NFL.

Then, Trump went after Lavar Ball. Ball is the father of one of the UCLA students arrested for shoplifting in China, and whose release Trump has taken credit for. Before the students thanked Trump, he demanded they thank him. A couple days later, Lavar Ball questioned Trump’s involvement in their release. Trump had another public meltdown.

Ball is very similar to Trump. They’re both narcissistic self-promoters. They also make very stupid statements that have no basis in reality. Ball once said that during his prime, he could have beaten Michael Jordan one-on-one. I am fully confident, however, that Ball can still beat Trump in a game of one-on-one.

The real kicker here is that Trump said that maybe he shouldn’t have gotten the kids’ release until his next trip to China. That is just a rotten and selfish thing to say.

Trump is too thin-skinned for the job he holds. This is further proof Congress needs to take the nuclear button away from him.

Creative notes: This is a short blog and a quick cartoon today. I really liked this idea and I kicked it out pretty quick. I still plan to keep my usual late-night cartooning routine tonight. Drawing two today will allow me to take next Saturday off, maybe. I didn’t get one last weekend but I still ate ice cream.

Also, Frank could probably use a day off from proofing.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

 

Travesty For Turks


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Many years ago the most disturbing thing that disturbed me about the nation of Turkey was the squat toilet which is, or was, common there. Basically, it’s a hole in the floor that you flush. But instead of sitting while you poop, you squat over it.

Turkish President ­Recep Tayyip Erdogan has just squatted over his entire nation and didn’t even have the courtesy to flush.

To understand the drama playing out in Turkey we need to refer to Star Wars, Episode III. Everything in life can be explained through either Star Wars or an episode of Seinfeld. It’s true, but the closest analogy I can think of from Seinfeld to describe Erdogan is the Soup Nazi. No democracy for you!

In Episode III of Star Wars, Revenge Of The Sith, Chancellor Palpatine uses a war to increase his power, abolish his term limits, and eventually forces his opposition to attempt a coup, which he then uses as his reasoning to kill democracy and install an empire and declares himself emperor. Twenty years later in Episode IV, A New Hope, he abolishes the senate and tells them to take a hike. It was Jar Jar in Episode II who got the whole tyrant ball rolling by proposing executive powers for the chancellor, but we’ll bitch about that annoying Gungan another time.

Turkey is embroiled in an armed conflict with Kurds, the Syrian Civil war, and experienced a failed attempt at a military coup last July that many are skeptical over. Erdogan has used the coup to increase his power and imprison many of his critics. 40,000 people were detained after the coup, including 10,000 soldiers. Without giving specific reasons, 2,745 judges were also detained. 15,000 educators were suspended and the licenses of 21,000 teachers working at private institutions were revoked. Over 100,000 people have been purged. Erdogan blamed the coup on his opposition, the Gulen Movement, and labeled them a terrorist organization (which Palpatine did to the Jedi) and their leader now lives in exile in Pennsylvania which is the equivalent of Dagobah and Tatooine as there’s nothing to do in any of those places.

Erdogan also used the coup for an emergency referendum held last Sunday that would increase his power and effectively eliminate democracy in Turkey. The eighteen amendments to the Turkish constitution passed on a 51-48% vote.

The proponents for the measures were able to use government resources and funding to stage rallies and support for a yes vote. Critics were suppressed including press coverage, with many being assaulted. International election monitors claim there were a lot of illegal votes, maybe millions.

With the changes the president becomes the head of state and government. It abolishes the prime minister and increases members of parliament, who now need an absolute majority (301 out of 600)  to override a presidential veto, or give him what he wants. The president now has the power to appoint and sack ministers and the vice president. The president no longer has to terminate his party membership (which was a requirement). The president has expanded powers to appoint judges and prosecutors. Perhaps the most significant detail out of this is that Term limits for the presidency will be reset and, if Erdogan wins elections in 2019 and 2024, he could be in power until 2029.

Erdogan said anyone who voted no is a terrorist and that international election monitors need to “know their place.” He plans to use his new powers to reinstate the death penalty which will also prevent Turkey from joining the European Union.

If Erdogan has a majority in Parliament, and he does, he can do whatever he wants. He has effectively become a dictator and democracy has died in Turkey. Donald Trump called Erdogan to offer his congratulations.

Of course I’m really bothered by the prosecution of journalists which includes cartoonists Bahadir Baruter and Ozer Aydogan, who both were recently convicted and will serve nearly a year in prison for doing what I do, making fun of the president. While both cartoonists declared their innocence, I’m guilty as hell of those charges. Ask my clients. In addition to those charges, Baruter faces further prosecution for insulting the prosecutor, who I’ve been told by reliable sources is a dick.

We can add the Turkish Referendum to the list of recent scary and freakish election results such as Brexit and Donald Trump. France is next in line. There’s a rise in the West of those who want to elect tyrants, decrease Democracy and silence criticism.

People like Trump and Erdogan try to silence and delegitimize their critics and tell them to be quiet. I’m not good at being quiet and I hope you’re not either.

We have a responsibility to be very noisy right now.

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Ambassador Assassination


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On Monday a Turkish police officer posing as a member of a security detail walked up behind the Russian ambassador to Turkey and shot him in the back at an art gallery in Ankara.

As ambassador Andrei Karlov lay dying on the floor the gunman shouted “Don’t forget Aleppo! Don’t forget Syria!” The image was captured in photos and video and shared around the world. The gunman injured several others before he was killed by police.

Since Russia entered the Syrian civil war they have claimed they’re only bombing terrorists. Others, including the United States, have accused Vladimir Putin of using his bombs not to attack terrorists, but to prop up Syrian president Bashar al-Assad, and killing thousands of civilians. What may complicate matters is that the terrorists may be on the side supported by the United States.

Turkey is not a safe place. Earlier this year they experienced a so-called coup attempt which many claim their president staged to build his support and to punish his enemies. They’ve had three major terror attacks within the last ten days which has followed a month of violence. This is a NATO nation that doesn’t resemble one.

While there’s no justification for terrorism or the killing of diplomats, Putin can find the source of this world-wide scorn in his own mirror. You can’t drop bombs on babies and not expect a backlash. The U.S. has some experience in this area.

Turkey wasn’t the only site of terrorism on Monday. Three people were injured at a Muslim prayer center in Zurich, Switzerland, and at least 12 were killed at a Christmas market in Berlin, Germany.

As our next president forges a closer relationship to Russia and perhaps Syria, we may expect some of this backlash to be directed toward us. I wonder where terrorists wishing to make a statement against an American president can find targets throughout the world where there are numerous buildings bearing his name.

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