Trump Tape

Hypocritical Surrogacy


cjones10142016

Whoever did not see this coming needs to go sit in the corner and remain silent until Thanksgiving. Election 2016 just went scorched Earth.

Reports came out last night of four women accusing Donald Trump of forcibly groping and kissing them. If you’re attempting to eat a meal you might want to stop reading at this point until you finish.

The New York Times reported an allegation of Trump groping a woman on a flight and trying to put his hand up her skirt in the first class section. First class allows you a hot towel, not the right to be a Gropey McGroperson. another woman told The Times that Trump forcibly kissed her in an elevator. I knew that Aerosmith song would be nothing but trouble.

The Palm Beach Post was told by another woman that Trump grabbed her rear end at his Mar-A-Lago resort. I don’t know if Trump likes the small butts or the big butts, but he can tell a lie. People Magazine reported that Trump shoved his tongue down a reporter’s throat at a photo shoot after his wife left the room. He later told the woman that they would be having an affair.

None of these accusations were made anonymously.

It doesn’t end there. CBS News revealed footage filmed for “Entertainment Tonight” in which Trump is heard commenting about a young girl, “I’m going to be dating her in ten years.” Rolling Stone quoted Miss Washington 2013 saying “He probably doesn’t want me telling the story about that time he continually grabbed my ass and invited me to his hotel room.”

Miss Arizona 2001 told CBS 2 Los Angeles that Trump would waltz into the pageant’s dressing rooms while the contestants were changing. Buzzfeed reported that four women in the 1997 Miss Teen USA beauty pageant said Trump walked into their dressing room while they were changing. Some were as young as 15.

And last but not least, there’s reports of inappropriate contact at the Westminster Dog Show with a Schnauzer. OK, I made that last one up. It was a poodle.

Trump is upset. He’s denying each of these accusations. The problem is, these are exactly the type of incidents Trump himself bragged about doing. Who are we going to believe? Donald Trump or Donald Trump?

In the leaked tape from last Friday he was heard boasting that he can grab and kiss women because he’s a star. In a Howard Stern interview years ago he was bragging about walking into dressing rooms at his pageants to ogle naked girls and how he was allowed because he owned the contests. Not only is it disgusting he’s admitting he’s a pervert on the level of a peeping tom sitting in a tree outside a woman’s window (at the very least), but he’s proud of it and Howard Stern and Robin Quivers were enabling him. Old perverts are hilarious.

Most of these women were silent until Trump stated at the debate that he never engaged in the behavior he bragged about engaging in. It was just “locker room” talk. His denial was just the trigger needed to anger women enough to expose Trump. I’m going to say again, “locker room” talk is usually about sex….not sexual assault. Republicans should learn the difference.

Trump and his supporters are upset. They’ve accused these women of being paid by the Clinton campaign and how it’s unfair to expose charges they can’t prove. Never mind the fact that Trump won’t shut up about Bill Clinton and even flew in his accusers to sit at the front row at the last debate.

Trump is threatening to sue The New York Times over the story and even yelled at the reporter over the phone “you’re a disgusting human being.”

It takes one to know one.

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Trump Gets A Head


cjones10102016

What’s scarier than Donald Trump not knowing that presidents do not appoint special prosecutors to punish their political opponents? Donald Trump knowing it.

Donald Trump entered Sunday night’s debate with a very low bar and he began the evening by crawling under it. Trump held a news conference before the event with several of Bill Clinton’s accusers of sexual misconduct, a group he once referred to as a “really unattractive” group. His campaign team attempted to put the women into a situation where they could confront Bill on live TV, but the debate organizers blocked it. Trump respects women so much that he uses them as political props.

Using the Breitbart debate strategy, when the issue came up of Trump physically assaulting women and boasting about it, he apologized, then dismissed it as “locker-room talk,” and attacked the Clintons. His main defense is that Bill Clinton is worse, he’s a rapist, and that Hillary attacked and savaged his accusers. I’m shocked he didn’t accuse Hillary of holding the women down while Bill did the raping and then sold pictures of it on the internet through the Clinton Foundation.

Trump said he never forced himself on a woman which means he’s a liar. He’s either lying on the video (which guys often do with locker room talk…when they’re 16), or he lied during the debate. Either way, even thinking that forcing yourself on women is cool, whether you’re 16 or 59, makes one a P.O.S (look that up if you don’t know).

Other interesting points in the debate was Trump admitted he used a tax loophole to not pay taxes and when he publicly disagreed with his running mate on taking out the leader of Syria (a fellow fascist).

Many analysts said if Trump can turn the subject away from his sexual assaults then he wins the debate. With that standard then this cartoon says he won. For as much as I hate sexual assault, the degradation of women, racism, islamophobia, homophobia, and xenophobia, his desire to become a tin-pot dictator scares me more.

For the first time ever in a presidential debate a candidate has promised to use the Justice department to investigate his political opponent and throw her in prison. He also called her the devil at one point. There’s little wonder why Putin (who jails his opponents, including journalists) and Kim Jong un (who kills his opponents) are so fond of The Donald.

One look at Trump’s penthouse in Trump Tower, or his personal jet, tells me he really desires to be a leader in the style of Saddam Hussein. Like Saddam, Trump puts his name on everything in gold. He’d probably create a department in charge of naming things “Trump.” The most frightening part is his desire to silence his critics. I’m a critic. Why in the hell would I want to support someone who wants to throw me in prison?

There may be some Latinos, blacks, homosexuals, and women dumb enough to vote against their best interests, but I’m not. The fact Hillary has a pulse and speaks in coherent sentences makes her a better candidate than Trump.

Many of the commentators in the post-debate analysis said Trump won the debate as Clinton seemed a little defensive and off her game. They were apparently scoring on a low bar as the scientific poll after gave it to Clinton, 57% to 34%. It probably didn’t help that he kept interrupting Clinton, paced, stalked, and hovered over her. She should be glad he didn’t offer her a Tic-Tac.

If we are going with the low bar in that his supporters would love his performance, then yes he wins. All his filth and conspiracy theories is crack to his base. What he didn’t do is build support. You don’t do that by insulting your opponent and threatening to imprison them.

Clinton wasn’t great. She didn’t put Trump away either. But she won the debate, not just by being better and more prepared than Trump, but by Trump not doing so bad. How is that?

Look at it this way: If Trump did so poorly his party would make some serious efforts to dump him. They’re not going to do that. Many will bail on him and a lot of funding might be pulled (the heavy Republicans are meeting Monday morning to talk about it). But if they had actually removed Trump from the ticket (which is almost impossible), that would give the GOP a serious chance of winning the election. The last thing Hillary wants is Trump thrown off the ticket.

For those looking forward to the election bringing an end to the most despicable race in U.S. history, I have some bad news for you. If Trump wins he continues the campaign against Clinton by trying to “lock her up,” which is also a popular chant at his rallies. If Trump loses he continues his campaign against Clinton by claiming the election was rigged (another fascist move). Having to choose between the two I’ll take the latter.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!