Trump In Detroit

Trump Talks Black


Donald Trump left the comfort of his Penthouse apartment on Fifth Avenue to visit a black church in Detroit.

Since the only black person Trump knows is Ben Carson it might have been shocking to learn that not every African American is insane and stabby. Team Trump thought of this and prepared crib notes on how to talk to black people for the orange one. They provided The Donald with answers to questions he’d probably get like “why are you such a racist?”.

Trump swooped into Detroit for his first ever visit to a black church. He swayed to gospel music. He held a baby. He accepted a shawl. He told the congregation he was there to listen to their concerns and left before the service was half over.

Trump has derided Black Lives Matter. He’s called for tougher police tactics. Black protesters have been roughed up at his rallies and he’s promised to pay the legal fees for those doing the assaulting. He’s received the endorsement of white supremacists. He attempted to destroy the legitimacy of the nation’s first black president. It’s no wonder his current support from black Americans is at one percent. I’m surprised it’s that high. Trump’s also stated how poorly educated “the blacks” are, but that can’t be accurate. If they were really poorly educated they’d be Trump supporters.

A few members of the congregation who met Trump talked about how humble he was in person and nothing at all like the bombastic con artist they see on TV. So basically the guy is nice to you in person but talks bad about you when you’re not around. He’s a real hoot at his all-white rallies.

One attendee wore a “Hillary for prison” shirt under his blazer. Others were cordial but not convinced. Kim Witten who has been a member of the church for 20 years said “When somebody wants something from you, and they say the right words — I would have liked to hear him say those things before he wanted something.” Witten has a point. Trump never visited a black church until he wanted something. What am I saying? The guy never visited a church.

Trump has spent the last few weeks pandering for African-Americans to vote for him (before white audiences) and asking “what do you have to lose?”.

The people who protested outside the church in Detroit feel they would have a lot to lose under a Trump presidency. Some had signs which read “Mr. Hate, Leave My State” and “Stop the racist!” At one point, the crowd chanted, “No KKK!”

Trump needs more than crib sheets to talk to African-Americans. He needs to figure out how to talk to people period. Well, people who aren’t insane, racist, stupid, uninformed, hostile, or Ben Carson.

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