Trump Doral

Phony Constitution


cjones10242019

When Russians and fewer than half of 2016 voters elected Donald Trump to the presidency, they elected a grifter.

Donald Trump is a conman and a thief. The Trump Organization, which he calls one of “America’s greatest companies,” is built on fraud and deceit. The man doesn’t pay back loans. He refuses to pay contractors, driving them to the point of going out of business until they settle for less pay than Trump had contractually agreed to pay them. He ran a scam university that only taught stupid people how to lose $30,000 for information they could have found in a brochure. He even steals from charity, buying himself paintings of himself and other assorted gifts. He’s so cheap, he even took $8.00 from his charity to pay for one of his idiot son’s Boy Scout dues which contradicts the Boy Scout code that teaches you to be “morally straight,” don’t steal, don’t lie, and stop putting that oily shit in your hair because it makes you look like a douchey con artist.

Trump has been grifting the American taxpayer since he won the election. He’s visited his golf resorts, as of October 13, 104 times since he was sworn into office. This has come at a cost to taxpayers of over $110,000,000. Just like Trump’s promise that he wouldn’t have time to play golf as president, this doesn’t bother his cult.

Trump is still collecting money from his businesses. He claims he put it all into a blind trust, and one can argue the two idiots in charge of his business can’t see straight when it comes to corruption, but handing it to your family is NOT a blind trust.

When people want to curry favor with Trump, they stay at his hotels and resorts. Hours before Giuliani’s two henchmen were arrested, they were dining at Trump’s Washington hotel. By the way, can’t these guys find thugs with less Russian-sounding names than Lev and Igor? Why don’t they have any arrested cronies with names like Stewart and Fletcher? Though to be fair, I’m sure there will be future arrests of guys with names like Rudy, Mick, Mike, Eric, Jared, and Donald.

Diplomats from foreign nations make sure to stay at Trump hotels, or at least book rooms there, even if they’re staying at classier hotels, which is what the Saudis do. Former EPA chief Scott Pruitt tried to purchase a mattress from Trump’s Washington hotel, which is just weird. Speaking of weird, Mike Pence stayed at Trump’s Ireland resort despite it requiring him to travel across the country to do so (maybe it was the only hotel in Ireland where women refuse to stay. That’d make sense). Trump even has the military funneling money to his resorts.

So naturally, Donald Trump really wanted to book the next G7 summit at one of his resorts in Florida, because everybody loves Miami in June. After being told by Republicans, “Dude, this is too much to defend, even for us,” Trump canceled. Did he take it in stride? Did it say, “no biggie?” Nope. He had a Trump tantrum.

While talking about Joe and Hunter Biden having the appearance of conflict, White House chief-of-staff Mick Mulvaney announced the summit would be held at Trump Doral. Seriously, he didn’t detect the irony or hypocrisy. He argued that Trump did not need the branding because “Trump” is a famous name, maybe even the most famous name in the world.

It’s true, it’s a famous name, much like “Hitler.” But you don’t see any Hitler Dorals. “Herpes” is also a famous name but despite its fame, most people don’t want it. Much like herpes, Trump corruption seems to be something for which there’s no cure, though the outbreaks are much more frequent.

And while arguing that he didn’t need the exposure for his bedbug-infested resort, Trump made sure to use the full name of it in his Twitter tantrum while also boasting about the amenities. The truth is, Trump’s Miami resort is performing poorly and June, when the G7 is scheduled to happen, is a horrible time for the resort. Probably because June is bedbug season. Funny enough, most people throughout the country like to visit Florida during the winter. Go figure.

Here’s the truth for Trump supporters: Trump hosting a government event is holding foreign leaders, diplomats, and our nation hostage. It forces them to give him money, like purchasing bedbug spray in the resort’s gift shop. Trump promises that he’d hold the event at “cost,” but two things here; what is “cost” to Trump? And, it’s a Trump “promise.”

Finally, there’s a clause in the United States Constitution that’s called the “Emolument Clause.” It forbids the president from making money off his office. Really. It’s in there. It’s in Article I, Section 9, Paragraph 8. It states, “No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State.” It doesn’t stop there. It also has a domestic emoluments clause (in case you’re a Republican, “domestic” means from the United States), which is in Article II, Section 1, Paragraph 7, which prohibits the president from receiving any “emolument” from the federal government or the states beyond “a Compensation” for his “Services” as chief executive. That means, every time the government is forced to spend money on one of Trump’s shitty resorts, Donald Trump is breaking the law.

Oh yeah, it just occurred to me. In case you’re a Republican, “emolument” means, from dictionary.com (I look shit up, yo), “a salary, fee, or profit from employment or office.”

Donald Trump has been breaking the law since he took the oath of office. Donald Trump is a criminal. What’s his defense of this? The emolument clause doesn’t exist. Seriously.

Yesterday, during one of his word-salad, lie-filled tantrums, he said to reporters, “You people with this phony emoluments clause.” He argued it didn’t apply to him because, “If you’re rich, it doesn’t matter.” He also made up a bunch of lies about George Washington remaining in business and needing two desks during his presidency, one for business and one for presidenting.

Trump said Washington was rich and had a business. Both of these are true, but did you know that Washington only had one desk, not two as Trump claims? Where does Donald Trump get this shit? Anyway, not only did Washington just have one desk, he paid for it himself. If Donald Trump had paid for it himself, it would have come out of his Trump charity (his campaign is paying his and his kids’ legal fees).

Trump also made up lies about President Obama making money from Netflix and his new book deal while being president, despite the fact he didn’t do those deals until AFTER he was president. In case you’re a Republican, “after” means not while he was president.

Trump also argued the presidency was costing him between 2-5 billion dollars. That’s quite a range there. So which is it? Maybe he’ll show us his taxes to prove it’s not another lie. It just seems to me that the guy who doesn’t want to pay $8.00 for his kid’s Boy Scout dues would notice a missing $3 billion.

And because we’re covering Trump lies from the same tantrum, he said Doral would have been great for the G7 because it’s right next to Miami International Airport, which many people say is the biggest in the world. Well, maybe there are some dumbasses out there saying it’s the “biggest in the world.” I can think of one dumbass who said it. But, it’s not.  According to Airports Council International, it ranks at #43. It’s not even the busiest in Florida.

Back to that first lie, the Emoluments Clause is not “phony.” Neither is the Constitution. For Trump supporters who love to say they’re “constitutionalists,” this is a pretty huge slide they’re handing to Trump. How can you be a Constitutionalist when your dear leader is calling the Constitution phony?

In case you’re a Republican, there’s a lot more to the United States Constitution than the Second Amendment. Get over it.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Trump Bedbugs


cjones09052019

When I heard the United States is going to host the G7 Summit in 2020, the first thing I thought was, “that fucker’s gonna try to have it at one of his shitty golf clubs.” I’m sure most journalists in the country thought the same thing so I shouldn’t receive any huge plaudits for my prognostication skills. Grifters are gonna grift. That’s exactly what our Grifter-in-Chief has set out to do. Con the G7 and in the process, spread the Trumpfestation.

Donald Trump is a conman. It’s all he is. His entire business is a con. He was born and bred to con, with his father giving him an annual allowance of $200,000 a year by age three in what was probably just one of many tax scams the family concocted.

As a candidate, he conned his supporters. As the nominee, he conned the Republican National Committee, charging them for campaign space in Trump Tower after raising the rent. Later he started conning the U.S. government, charging the Secret Service rent at Trump Tower, once again, after raising the rent.

Donald Trump promised he would separate himself from his businesses. Instead of selling or putting everything into a blind trust, he turned it over to be managed by his two idiot sons. As president, he’s name-dropped his property over 70 times. He’s averaging two weekly visits to his properties as president. When he stays at one of his properties, we have to pay for him to do so. We have to pay for government services, rooms and feeding government personnel, and even golf cart rentals so the Secret Service can follow Trump while he cheats at golf. We probably even pay for Trump to stay in his own bedroom.

Trump has hosted the leaders of Japan and China at his Mar-a-Lago, thus earning money from those two governments. If nations have business with the United States, first they have to do business with Donald Trump.

Trump claims he’s going to lose $3-$5 billion as president, which is a lie because he’s not worth that. He will not disclose his tax returns so we can’t see how much he’s really milking the government or to whom he’s indebted.

A friend of mine who is a retired cartoonist and a conservative, made a post on social media this week that the good thing about Trump is that since he’s a billionaire, he can’t be bought. Yes, I’m still trying to figure out how to virtually slap someone on the back of the head.

When someone has $3 billion (maybe) but claims they have ten, they can be bought. When Saudis are renting rooms they’re not staying in from the guy, he can be bought. When his attorney general, the same one defending him in an emoluments lawsuit (I can’t make this up anymore) is spending $30,000 for a party at Trump’s hotel, he can be bought. When a cabinet member tries to purchase a mattress from the same hotel, Trump can be bought.

And of course, Trump wants to host the G7 at one of his crappy golf resorts. He’s aiming to host it at his underperforming Doral resort in Miami to bilk at least six foreign governments. Trump claims it’s great because it’s near an airport. Obviously, no one else in this country ever thought of building hotels and convention centers near airports before. There’s probably also a McDonald’s nearby which I’m sure will be a factor and seriously bad news for the world leaders attending. I hope they like Big Macs and burnt steaks with ketchup. Those might be the least of their problems because Doral is infested.

Donald Trump is having a hissy fit on Twitter because it was reported that someone sued him for being ravaged by bedbugs while sleeping at Doral. Trump tweeted that it was an attack by “radical left Democrats” and it was just a “false and nasty rumor.” Honestly, I’m shocked he hasn’t accused Obama of planting the bedbugs while bugging Trump Tower.

But, despite the club not having bedbugs, Trump settled the lawsuit with the man the bedbugs used as a buffet. What also leads me to believe Doral is currently infested with bedbugs is the fact Donald Trump said it’s not infested with bedbugs.

Doral isn’t the only thing of Trump’s that’s infested. The man destroys everything he touches. At this very moment, some poor French guy is probably burning the sheets Trump slept on at the G7 last weekend. It’s a Trumpfestation. No wonder Melania sleeps in a separate bedroom (probably under a poster of Justin Trudeau).

The Trumpfestation is everywhere from the White House to the State Department to the Justice Department to each of his crappy golf clubs. I just hope the White House is fumigated after Trump is finally kicked out or we may have to do what Indonesia’s doing right now, which is moving their capital to Borneo. I think we should move Trump to Borneo.

It’s as if Trump is personally challenged to make everything as horrible as possible. He goes to the G7 and spends the first night operating as Vladimir Putin’s personal lobbyist. Now, he wants to entertain the world’s leaders at a bedbug-infested motel hell. They should take a tip from the Saudis and rent the rooms and stay somewhere else.

I’m asked all the time about what I’ll do with my cartoons after Trump leaves office. I’m not going to have a problem with that because we’re still going to be having problems. The Trumpfestation will be ravaging our nation for years.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.