Trump Crimes

You Can’t See Me

While eating a veal parmesan sandwich in a Queen’s diner a couple nights ago, I heard a bunch of kids talking about John Cena, the wrestler. These were elementary-age kids and they were there with their parents of course. I didn’t pay enough attention to the context, but they were talking about Cena a lot. Maybe that’s because Wrestlemania was last weekend. I don’t know. But, I don’t think you have to be a wrestling fan to know who John Cena is. He’s not on the level of Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, but you probably know who Cena is. And if you know who Cena is, then you know of his hand gesture.

To be a star in wrestling, you need a signature or a catchphrase. Hulk Hogan has “Whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you?” The Rock has, “Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?” And John Cena has “You can’t see me.” No, wrestling catchphrases don’t have to make sense. Does anyone truly under the thing about what The Rock is cooking? He’s cooking being in a lot of bad movies.

But it’s Cena’s “Can’t see me” that’s in the news right now. Maybe that’s why the kids in the diner were talking. Nah, I doubt they watch a lot of news. Cena’s catchphrase also comes with a hand gesture he performs in the ring. At some point during every Cena match, his opponent will be dazed and lying flat on the mat, facing up. Cena will lean over the guy, put his hand in front of his own face, and wave it back and forth, meaning, “You can’t see me,” telling his opponents that they can’t compete with him or he’s too fast for them to see him coming. It wasn’t created by Cena. He’s given credit to the rapper Tony Yayo but it was seen much earlier than that as Flavor Flav did it years before. He didn’t invent it, b you have to give Cena credit for popularizing the gesture which I’m sure Caitlin Clark does.

Caitlin Clark is one of the stars of the Iowa University women’s basketball team which made a run all the way to the Final Four. Throughout the NCAA tournament, she did the Cena gesture to her opponents. But during the closing moments of Iowa’s 102-85 defeat to LSU, Angel Reese of the winning team did the gesture to Clark. You can’t see your opponents when you lose by 17 points.

After the game, LSU’s Angel Reese caught a shitstorm of flak for doing the gesture, while tapping her ring finger, to Clark. How dare she. How unsportsmanlike. And that’s no way for a young lady to act. Heavens to Betsy! Why the nerve!

Hmm, it’s weird that Clark didn’t get any shit for it throughout the tournament. In fact, it’s weird how nobody gets any grief for any trash-talking in basketball until now. The word “classless” trended on Twitter.

Clark, who finished the tournament with 191 points, the most ever scored by any man or woman in a single NCAA tournament, received praise from Cena himself for using the gesture. He tweeted, “Even if they could see you…they couldn’t guard you.” She didn’t get any heat from anyone for it. But Reese did. By the way, Clark is white and Reese is black. Certainly, that doesn’t have anything to do with it, right?

Reese was unapologetic, saying, “I don’t fit in the box that you all want me to be in. I’m too hood, I’m too ghetto. You told me that all year. But when other people do it, y’all don’t say nothing. So this is for the girls that look like me, that want to speak up on what they believe in. It’s unapologetically you. It was bigger than me tonight.”

Caitlin Clark, the recipient of Reese’s taunt, said, “I don’t think Angel should be criticized at all. I’m just one that competes, and she competed. I think everybody knew there was going to be a little trash talk in the entire tournament. It’s not just me and Angel.” She also said, “Men have always had trash talk … You should be able to play with that emotion … That’s how every girl should continue to play.”

She’s absolutely right. Trash talk is an element of the game. If you think trash talk is unsportsmanlike, an maybe it is, I have some bad news for you. Your favorite players were trash-talkers.

Michael Jordan once backed off Mugsy Bogues, who’s significantly shorter than Jordan, and said, “Shoot it you fucking midget.” Bogues shot, missed, and later said that one shot ruined his career. Jordan got into his head. Jordan would often tell an opponent what he was going to do, then do it. He’d even trash-talk the opposing coaches. One player tried to trash-talk Jordan, who then replied that he had a lot to say for a guy wearing his shoes. The man was wearing Air Jordans.

Charles Barkley is one of the greatest trash talkers and Jordan once said, “Barkley playing without talking would be like me playing with hair.” Barkley said he always wanted his and Jordan’s trash-talking to be on the level of Magic Johnson and Larry Byrd trashing each other. And Larry Bird may be the all-time best at it.

During the warmup for an All-Star three-point contest, Bird walked in and told his competitors, “I hope all you guys in here are thinking about second place because I’m winning this…excuse me,” and started sinking three-point shots without taking his jacket off.

Bird would trash-talk coaches too, asking one, “Haven’t you got anyone on the bench who can guard me?” The coach looked down his bench and said, “No.”

Before a Christmas day game against the Celtics in Boston, Chuck Person nicknamed the “Rifleman,” of the Indiana Pacers said, “The Rifleman is coming, and he’s going Bird Hunting.” During the game, Bird shot a three and before the ball was even through the net, turned to Person and said, “Merry Fucking Christmas.”

Of course, the worst trash-talker of tall time is Donald Trump. He sucks at it. When Hillary Clinton called him “Putin’s Puppet,” the best he could retort with was, “You’re the puppet.” He couldn’t even come up with, “I know you are but what am I?”. He loves to trash women, calling them pigs or that they’re too ugly for him to sexually assault after he’s assaulted them. He calls Stormy Daniels “Horse face.” And you want to trash Angel Reese for being “classless?”

Now, Trump and his supporters are trash-talking Lady Justice after his arrest this week over hush money payments to Daniels.

Here’s the thing though: Calling a woman you had sex with “horse face” is like trashing Jordan while wearing his shoes. It doesn’t work. It’s like when a Trumper tries to insult me by telling me to “go draw a cartoon.” Uh, OK. I’m a cartoonist. I literally draw cartoons for a living. These are the same people who think a chant about having sex with President Biden, “Let’s go, Brandon,” is clever. Republicans set themselves up to be trash-talked, naming one of their groups “Tea Party.” How did they not see “Tea Baggers” coming?

But right now, they can keep trash-talking Lady Justice all they want because as was proven Tuesday, it doesn’t work. Lady Justice is scoring on you and accusing her of being political and biased won’t stop her. Justice is now being served.

Lady Justice is scoring on Trump, and he can’t see her.

Creative note: I had two concerns with this cartoon. First, that someone had already done it. So I scoured the usual places where I read cartoons and didn’t see it. Good. My second concern was that no one would get it. One of my proofers got and the other did not. But from the comments it’s received so far, it works. Now, I have a new concern and that is someone’s going to steal the idea. But hey, they can’t see me.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box

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Lock Him Up

Donald Trump “truthed” that he’s going to be arrested on Tuesday. It’s Tuesday. As Ted Knight said in Caddyshack, “Well? We’re waiting.”

Republicans are in an uproar over the possibility Donald Trump will be indicted and arrested in Manhattan over the hush-money payment scheme to porn star Stormy Daniels. It didn’t work because we still found out about the “Yeti pubes.” They claim the statutes of limitations have passed in the case which is not true but is an admission of guilt. They claim the investigation is solely political since, as Trump puts it, he’s the “leading” candidate in the presidential race.

Trump claimed that Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg “has allowed violent crime to reach new heights in New York without any retribution” in order to prosecute Trump. Other Republicans have made the same claim, saying Bragg should focus on other crimes in New York…and then without an ounce of awareness promise to investigate Bragg.

Instead of focusing on the border, inflation, the economy, China, and making sure Matt Gaetz isn’t hitting on underage congressional pages, Republicans want to investigate another Trump investigation.

Republican Florida congressman and Goon Caucus member Byron Donalds was on CNN this morning complaining about Bragg not focusing on New York, defended Congress going after Bragg, and then talked about how FEMA hasn’t provided enough trailers to his district after the last hurricane. Maybe you worry more about FEMA trailers in Florida and less about prosecutions in New York.

Republicans are threatening and harassing the Manhattan DA before any charges have been announced. While calling Bragg’s investigation political, they promise to investigate Bragg, and again without any awareness, with Jim Gym Jordan leading the committee.

Republicans are screaming and howling that a presidential candidate can’t be prosecuted, investigated, indicted, arrested, etc…while forgetting that they’re the “lock her up” gang.

Have you ever been to a Trump rally? I have. Have you at least seen one on TV? They do love their chants at Trump rallies. There’s “space force,” “fire Fauci,” “drain the swamp,” “build the wall,” and the always popular and very racist “send her back,” but perhaps the most popular of the chants that don’t exceed three syllables is “lock her up.”

In 2016, attendees of MAGA rallies started the chant “lock her up” in regard to Hillary Clinton, who at the time was the leading presidential candidate. Hmm. That’s weird. Right now, Republicans are saying it’s a bad thing to try to arrest leading presidential candidates and political opponents.

Donald Trump never disavowed these “lock her up” chants. Usually, he just stood at the podium with that creepy smile on his face ike he had just spotted a ten-year-old in Trump Tower that he’d like to date in eight years, allowing the crowd to continue the chant.

In 2020, while he was president (sic), he said during one of these “lock her up” chants, “I agree with you 100 percent.”

Throughout his presidency (sic), Trump called for investigations, prosecutions, indictments, and arrests of political opponents. He claimed Hillary Clinton and President Obama committed “treason” for their parts in the Russia investigation (they had zero parts in it).

In 2020, he tweeted at his Attorney General William Barr to “arrest somebody,” and wondered aloud why President Obama, then-Democratic nominee Joe Biden, and Hillary Clinton hadn’t been imprisoned for launching a “coup” against his administration.

In the same 24-hour period, he tweeted, “Where are all of the arrests? Can you imagine if the roles were reversed? Long term sentences would have started two years ago. Shameful!”

And then he let loose a barrage of tweets in all caps, stating, “DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS, THE BIGGEST OF ALL POLITICAL SCANDALS (IN HISTORY)!!! BIDEN, OBAMA AND CROOKED HILLARY LED THIS TREASONOUS PLOT!!! BIDEN SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO RUN – GOT CAUGHT!!!”

These tweets were sent right after Trump returned to the White House from Walter Reed Hospital where he was recovering from COVID, so he was probably pretty high on bleach, ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine, Diet Coke, and Adderall.

Elise Stefanik has called Bragg’s investigation “unAmerican.” Rand Paul, missing the irony of accusing Bragg of arresting political opponents while calling for Bragg’s arrest.

Speaker Kevin McCarthy said a possible indictment would be “an outrageous abuse of power by a radical DA who lets violent criminals walk as he pursues political vengeance.”

Mike Pence said it was a “politically-charged environment in New York where the attorney general and other elected officials literally campaigned on a pledge to prosecute the former president.” But it’s not as politically charged as the riot at the Capitol on January 6, 2021, that was chanting, “Hang Mike Pence.” Again, only three syllables.

Tech investor, Republican presidential candidate, and guy you never heard of before until now Vivek Ramaswamy said he didn’t want to live in a country where “the party in power is able to use police force to arrest its political opposition.”

Lauren Boebert tweeted, “We’re witnessing the most obscene political witch-hunt in American history.” And then her son impregnated the witch.

Marjorie Taylor Greene tweeted with a link to MTG merchandise, “George Soros puppet and Democrat activist Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg has declared us all Enemies of State by declaring war on MAGA.” But you too can proudly wear “Enemy of the State” panties.

Jim Gym Jordan said it was an “unprecedented abuse of prosecutorial authority.”

Matt Gaetz said to a young woman walking past him in a hallway, “Hey, are you 18 yet?”

George Santos said, “I never abused my office politically when I was the Manhattan DA.”

But if you can remember, the party in power in the House of Representatives in 2016 conducted the Benghazi hearings. They forced Hillary Clinton to testify during her campaign. Kevin McCarthy praised the hearings for hurting Clinton’s poll numbers.

None of the goons, not McCarthy, Stefanik, Donalds, Paul, Pence, MTG, Boebert, or Ramalamadingdong ever told Trump to stop tweeting to his Attorney General to arrest his political opponents. None of them called it “unAmerican.” Remember, all of these goons were A-OK with President (sic) Trump using taxpayer-funded military aid approved by Congress to extort the President of Ukraine to dig up dirt on his political opponent.

Attorney General (sic) Bill Barr did use the Justice Department to defend Trump and his goons and appointed a Special Counsel to investigate the Russia investigation, which has turned up diddly. So yeah, they did try to go after Trump’s political opponents. The problem was, they didn’t have anything on Trump’s political enemies. That’s the same problem they have today with the Bidens and all the claims of corruption and payments from China…they don’t have anything.

Republicans impeached President Bill Clinton for lying about oral sex but they want to sweep under the rug that Donald Trump paid hush money to a porn star to keep quiet about doing the wild thing in Vegas and that his ding-dong looks really really weird.

Republican outrage can’t be taken seriously. McCarthy says justice isn’t being applied evenly…and neither is his outrage.

If Democrats are actually using the law to go after political opponents, then Republicans are outraged that Democrats are acting like them.

If Republicans don’t want their candidates to be arrested, then stop making criminals your candidates.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Favors And War Crimes

Just in case you haven’t been paying attention during the past decade or so, Donald Trump is a vile disgusting racist grifting narcissistic conman who puts himself first before other people and his own nation. And if you have been paying attention and are still making excuses for him, then you’re vile and disgusting too, but keep reading. MAGAts need to read what I write more than anyone else.

Donald Trump is a racist. He’s a sexist. He’s a bully. He’s a thief. He’s a con artist. This man ran a fake university and a fake charity while denying rental opportunities to minorities, refusing to pay contractors he made business deals with while boasting about sexually assaulting women, and desiring to date his own daughter. This man has cheated on every person in his life, from business partners to girlfriends to wives to the nation he promised to protect and defend. He spent his four years in the White House grifting taxpayers, diplomats, and campaign contributors. The man demands loyalty while giving none. Let’s not forget he told over 30,000 lies in a four-year span.

During the 2016 presidential campaign, Donald Trump attempted to bribe Vladimir Putin by giving him the penthouse in a Moscow Trump Tower in exchange for Putin’s approval of the tower’s construction. That is illegal.

Also during the 2016 presidential campaign, Donald Trump publicly asked Putin to assist his campaign and give him valuable resources. That is illegal. Donald Trump asked Russia to release 30,000 lost emails from Hillary Clinton. Donald Trump later said he was joking but Russia started hacking into the computers of the Democratic National Committee and the Clinton Campaign that same day.

During the 2016 campaign, Donald Trump accepted Russia’s assistance by reading their hacked emails during campaign rallies.

During the 2016 campaign, Donald Trump’s presidential campaign invited Russian lobbyists claiming to have dirt on Hillary Clinton to their campaign headquarters in Trump Tower on Fifth Avenue in Manhattan. Attending that meeting on behalf of Donald Trump was idiot son number one, Donald Trump Jr, idiot son-in-law Jared Kushner, and Paul Manafort, the idiot campaign manager, who had been a campaign strategist for Ukraine’s former pro-Russia president. The Trump campaign’s defense here is that they didn’t get anything good from the Russians which is like saying it’s OK to rob a bank if the safe turns out to be empty.

Donald Trump also claimed the meeting was about Americans adopting Russian children. He later admitted it was political and opposition research after he was busted. It’s illegal to take campaign contributions from foreigners and especially foreign governments. The Trump campaign was seeking campaign material to help Trump win the election.

An offer was made to Donald Trump Jr. from a Russian oligarch, which was delivered by a mutual friend. The friend, Rob Goldstone, emailed that the Crown Prosecutor of Russia “offered to provide the Trump campaign with some official documents and information that would incriminate Hillary and her dealings with Russia and would be very useful to your father.”

Donald Trump Jr’s reply was, “I love it.”

In 2017, Trump Jr released a statement using the Russian adoption bullshit explanation. It was later revealed that Donald Trump Sr, who had denied knowledge of the meeting, wrote the statement.

During the 2016 campaign, George Papadopoulos was hired by the Trump campaign as an adviser. Within two weeks, he was approached by someone with Russian contacts explaining the Russian government wanted to give him stolen emails from Hillary Clinton and John Podesta. Papadopoulos was invited to a meeting. He went to that meeting. The Russians he met told him “we are all very excited by the possibility of a good relationship with Mr. Trump.” He emailed at least seven campaign officials about these contacts and was encouraged to fly to Russia to obtain the Clinton emails.

Carter Page was an adviser to the Trump campaign who flew to Russia to give a speech and later lied about meeting members of that nation’s government. Donald Trump and Jeff Sessions described Page as a coffee boy for the campaign and they had no knowledge he was going to Russia. But campaign coordinator Corey Lewandowski had approved the trip and campaign co-chairman Sam Clovis asked Page to sign a non-disclosure agreement about the trip.
The Steel Dossier alleges that Carter Page was promised up to 19 percent of a Russian oil conglomerate if Trump was elected and he could eliminate sanctions placed on Russian oil by President Obama and Congress in 2012. Republicans in the House were outraged…that the FBI was investigating Carter Page during this time. Trump claimed the investigation was Obama wiretapping Trump Tower. It was not. Even William Barr, Trump’s goon Attorney General, claimed this was Obama spying on the Trump Campaign. Again, it was not.

Also during the campaign, Trump Jr. and Jared Kushner were offered election help from Saudi Arabia and other Gulf states. They never said no. In fact, after the campaign and before the inauguration, Kushy went to the Russian embassy and proposed they create a backchannel to communicate so U.S. intelligence wouldn’t hear about all the treasonony shenanigans they were up to.

Trump supporters excused Donald Trump’s involvement with everything claiming he didn’t know this or he didn’t know that, or everything was done by other people, and at the very worst, he was just joking. Whether it’s treason, promising to pay for services, provide an education you paid for, spending your donation on charity and not on himself, replacing Obamacare with “something better,” Crafting an infrastructure plan, building a wall and making Mexico pay for it, never having time for golf, or grabbing someone by the pussy, Trump is just joking.

When Donald Trump told Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky “I want you to do us a favor” in 2019, he wasn’t joking. Donald Trump dangled an invite to the White House and withheld military aid to Ukraine in exchange for Zelensky to announce an investigation into Hunter Biden’s business dealings in that nation.

Trump explained when he said “Do us a favor,” the “us” wasn’t him, but the United States of America. But, it’s hard to understand how announcing an investigation was doing anything beneficial for the United States…unless Trump believed his reelection was a favor for the United States.

The military aid he was withholding had already been approved by Congress for Ukraine so it could defend itself on the off chance that Russia would invade that nation someday. Let me know if you hear anything about that.

Donald Trump asked a foreign nation to help his campaign. He used government resources in doing so. Both are illegal. Today, the military aid Donald Trump used as extortion is being used by Ukraine to stop Vladimir Putin from killing their children.

Donald Trump was impeached for this act. Senator Susan Collins voted against impeachment saying Trump had “learned his lesson.” Yesterday, Donald Trump asked Vladimir Putin to help his 2024 presidential campaign. Donald Trump did learn a lesson which is that he can do anything illegal and Republicans won’t lift a finger to punish him. He also learned his supporters will defend any lawbreaking he does.

In a new interview, Donald Trump asked Vladimir Putin to release information regarding alleged dealings between eastern European oligarchs and Hunter Biden. These guys can not get over Hunter Biden. Did Hunter Biden invite Trump to prom, who then went and bought a pretty dress and waited on the front porch all night just for Hunter never to show up, who was probably already at the dance banging the prom queen? But I bet Trump did look pretty in that dress.

And hey, if we’re not going to vote for someone because his kids are goons, we don’t need foreign dirt on the Trump kids.

Trump has claimed that Hunter Biden received millions of dollars from the wife of Moscow’s late mayor, Yury Luzhkov. Trump said, “She gave him $3.5 million so now I would think Putin would know the answer to that. I think he should release it.”

Trump might want to be careful asking Putin to release anything because doing so while with the distraction of bombing Ukrainian civilians might make the Russian president release the wrong information. The next thing you, we all get to see the pee-pee tape. Is there a pee-pee tape? As Trump said, “I think Putin would know the answer to that.”

Also, Trump is leaving out that he himself sought to do business with the mayor of Moscow. Remember that entire Trump Tower thing where he tried to bribe Putin? Yeah, Putin knows about that too.

Keep in mind that Trump is so vile, that after calling Putin a “genius” for his war strategy, he’s now asking the Russian dictator for a favor while he’s bombing apartments, malls, hospitals, churches, playgrounds, schools, and baby hospitals. Maybe for Trump, Vladimir Putin can be a multitasker.

Donald Trump has not sent a condemnation to Vladimir Putin for his war crimes. All Trump has sent Putin is a request for a political favor. Maybe it’s not too late for that penthouse.

Narcissist Donald Trump doesn’t care if children are dying whether it’s from Vladimir Putin murdering them through his war crimes or from Trump’s immigration policies.

Putin is currently taking a blood bath and Trump is handing him the rubber ducky while scrubbing his back.

I’ll end this the way I started it: If you’re still defending and supporting Donald Trump, you’re vile and disgusting.

Music note: Today’s drawing music was what my random player offered, which was The Strokes, the Hives, Incubus, Weezer, Alice in Chains, Audioslave, Cake, Kaiser Chiefs, and Franz Ferdinand.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: