Trump Baby

Royal Racism


cjones03102021

I have never been that fascinated with the royal family of the United Kingdom. I’ve always paid some attention to it but not with any obsession. I remember when Charles and Diana were married. I remember the births of William and Harry. My interest lies more in history and I’ve gone down worm holes to understand the role of the monarchy in relation to parliament. I have watched about three episodes of The Crown.

When there is something special about the monarchy on TV, I will usually watch it. When Harry and Meghan were married, Stephanie Ruhl and Katie Tur of MSNBC covered the wedding in London and totally geeked out when Meghan’s carriage passed them. It was embarrassing. That, I don’t understand. But I figured I should watch Oprah’s interview with Harry and Meghan on Sunday night.

I didn’t even know this thing was happening until my editor at CNN told me Friday morning and that he was open to a cartoon about it. He was also open to cartoons about Mr. Potato Head and Dr. Seuss. So I gave him a cartoon featuring all three. Then I thought my clients might want a cartoon on the interview, so I watched.

Since a few details had come out about the special, I didn’t expect any big surprises and wasn’t looking forward to it. I was actually dreading it. Two hours for this? Man, I’m dedicated to my craft. But If I can sit through Donald Trump’s inauguration speech, then I can sit through just about anything.

I expected to be bored and the entire thing to just be trivial pop culture stuff. I was wrong. It was interesting. I expected the couple to come off whiny and entitled. I thought I’d roll my eyes at them and have trouble sympathizing. Instead, I was angry.

Who starts a conversation worried about a baby’s skin tone? Who does that? You’re supposed to be excited about an upcoming birth in your family. If nothing else, you shouldn’t be racist to members of your own family.

Here’s the dirt: Someone in The Firm, as the royal family and the organization that operates it is referred as, brought this up to Prince Harry as a major concern. Apparently, they were afraid of how it would look for the royal family if it had a black member, or at least one darker than Meghan. And it’s not the point as to how dark the baby would be. The issue here is that it was a concern.

When Harry married Meghan, I thought it was a bigger deal that she was divorced and an American. I didn’t think her being of mixed race was any kind of issue at all. Sure, there are racists out there who still get upset over mixed couples in Cheerio commercials but I thought the majority of us, those who didn’t vote for Trump, were over it. Even if you’re not racist, you may have still been surprised by this…20 years ago maybe.

If nothing else, I thought nobody in the royal family would concern themselves with it. I was wrong. Who was it? Harry wouldn’t say.

But what’s clear is that his relationship with his father and older brother, two future kings, is seriously damaged. He wouldn’t go into details except to say he was disappointed in them. Meghan also talked about Kate, William’s wife, making her cry…and then it being leaked to the tabloids that it was reversed, Meghan had made Kate cry.

Before they left the United Kingdom for Canada, and then Los Angeles, the Firm was opposed to giving any royal titles to Archie, the couple’s son. The baby whose skin tone someone was worried about. After they left the Firm, security was stripped from them. There was also talk about an investigation by the Firm over accusations that Meghan was a bully inside Buckingham Palace…but no investigations toward Prince Andrew being a rapist with Jeffrey Epstein. For someone, it was worse to have a black prince than a royal rapist.

So, who in the family was concerned about the baby’s skin tone? Who was so concerned and racist that they actually brought it up? Was it someone in the family or was it someone who works for them? It would be wrong to speculate and I discourage it. That said, I think it was Prince Charles.

Harry expressed how disappointed he was in his father because he had gone through the same kind of negativity and harassment from the British tabloids as he and Meghan were experiencing. The British tabloids are NOT like the legitimate press. They are totally focused on sensationalism. Even New York tabloids don’t have anything on them. The British tabloids are directly responsible for the death of Princess Diana, Harry’s mother. You would think the family would be more supportive.

I’m not surprised racism exists in the United Kingdom. It’s not just an American thing. We’re probably just louder about it after having a president (sic) for four years who encouraged and validated racist organizations. Say what you will about Boris, but at least he hasn’t retweeted Nazis (he hasn’t, has he?). We had a president who literally told white nationalists to march to the Capitol and overturn an election. But who knew there was racism in the royal family?

A Facebook friend of mine who is a Brit and often comments on my work wrote, “America has a race problem disguised as a class problem, we have a class problem which includes racism.” He wrote that before the interview aired. He was talking more about the tabloids and British society’s racism. This was before we learned someone in the royal family is afraid of black babies.

Perhaps the biggest surprise is that to escape UK racism, Harry and Meghan came here. Really? Did they not see that for 74 million Americans, racism was not a disqualifier in voting for Donald Trump? They didn’t see that racism is not a deal-breaker for a huge percentage of the population? I personally know people who have left this nation over the past four years because of racism. I know white people who left this country because of its racism.

They fled the UK where someone in the royal family was concerned about a baby with dark skin tone for a land led by a racist orange baby.

And seriously, worried about a baby having a dark skin tone? Maybe that’s the kind of thinking you get after generations of inbreeding.

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Republican Babies


cjones12122020

How many more times will I be able to draw Trump Baby before the real Trump Baby leaves the White House…or his coup succeeds and I end up in a North Dakota gulag? Why North Dakota? Because it’s already a gulag.

106 House Republicans have signed onto a brief supporting the stupid and ridiculous lawsuit filed by Texas, demanding the Supreme Court invalidate the votes of over 20 million people and hand the presidency to Donald Trump. That’s more than the half the Republicans in Congress.

When representatives are sworn into Congress, they take an oath promising to protect the Constitution. So, how did we elect so many representatives so eager to break that oath?

When at least 18 state attorneys general across the nation and over 100 House Republicans demand that over 20 million votes be invalidated, that 20 million voters’ Constitutional rights be stripped from them, that 62 electoral votes be taken from one candidate and given to theirs, and that the presidency be given to the losing candidate, you have to ask yourself: Do these Republicans not know the law or do they know the law but just don’t care?

Do these Republicans really love the cult more than democracy? Do they want a theocracy and dictatorship more than a republic? If this election is stolen and reversed, we’ll never have a honest election in this nation ever again. If the United States caves and elections don’t matter, what about the rest of the world? Hopefully, we’ll stop being the example. Republicans are not to be emulated in other nations.

Republicans keep saying Donald Trump has the right to pursue every legal means, but he doesn’t have the right to call Republican governors and threaten them to reverse an election. He doesn’t have the right to call legislators to the White House to pressure them to reverse an election. He doesn’t have the right to call legislators and demand they throw out an election. Donald Trump does not have the right to steal an election. Donald Trump and Republicans don’t have a right to engage in election tampering.

Republicans spent the past four years saying, “Elections have consequences.” What they meant was, only when we win.

Every single Republican who is trying to steal this election should be prosecuted for election tampering. And I’m sure they’ll be fine with that since they claim to the law -and-order party.

Republicans are not the party of law and order. They’re not the party of family values. They’re not the party of patriots or even honest individuals. They’re the party of bullies, racists, sexists, and fascists. The GOP is now officially a cult.

The funny thing is, the way Republicans have propped up the Trump will burn them because none of them will ever be their party’s nominee. For the next 20 years, every GOP nominee will be a Trump. The GOP, the cult of Trump, has made stupid monarchs out of these grifters. Now, they get to live with them for a very long time.

Since Donald Trump is calling every politician he thinks can save his presidency, what I want to know is…how many generals has he called?

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The New Detail


cjones11112020

Author Andrew Shvarts tweeted, “This election is like if your friends pick dinner and 3 vote pizza and 2 vote ‘kill and eat you.’ Even if pizza wins, there’s a big problem.” He tweeted that in 2016 but it applies more to the 2020 election.

That’s the question we have to ask ourselves: After four years of chaos, insanity, racism, and over 230,000 dead from an ignored virus and massive job loss, why did nearly half this country vote for the Nazi apologist? Why did half the country vote for the guy who’s lied to them over 20,000 times? Why did half the nation want four more years of this bullshit?

While we can celebrate that we’re getting rid of Trump, we still have his MAGAts. Yes, liberals got the White House, but didn’t win control of the Senate and actually lost seats in the House. There’s actually a member of Qanon heading to Congress. So if you’re thinking that you don’t have to flee the nation because Trump won’t be poisoning it up anymore, the damange may already be done.

As for the Secret Service, good for the guys who have been assigned to the Biden detail and too bad for the guys still protecting Trump’s ass. Even with Donald Trump out of the White House, he still qualifies for Secret Service protection for the rest of his life (along with the pension we’ll pay him. Let’s see if he donated that). A former president (sic) can decline Secret Service protection, which President Jimmy Carter has done.

The only times I am aware of an attempt on the life of a former president was when Saddam Hussein planned to assassinate former President George H. W. Bush and when someone shot former President Theodore Roosevelt. But in Roosevelt’s situation, he was once again a presidential candidate (and he delivered a speech after being shot and before going to the hospital).

Donald Trump is a supposed billionaire. He can afford his own security. But if he declines Secret Service protection, then he can’t bilk them (us) for rent, golf cart rentals to follow him around, and for shitty sandwiches and shitty rooms at his shitty resorts. Will his children decline Secret Service protection. I know from experience that children of a former president continue to receive protection, at least for a while. I went to high school with Amy Carter after her father lost to Ronald Reagan and the Secret Service was constantly present.

But then again, Donald Trump said he’d have to leave the country if he lost to the likes of Joe Biden. I’d like to hold him to that promise. Will Putin provide him a security detail?

Of course, he could always go to jail and then we don’t have to worry about any of it.

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Triggered Babies


cjones11142019

Republicans and Trump supporters love to refer to liberals as “snowflakes” and accuse them of being triggered. But being angered to the point of stabbing a Trump Baby balloon because it offends you is the very definition of being triggered.

Hoyt Hutchinson, the man who has admitted to stabbing a Trump Baby balloon Saturday in Alabama, is a Trump baby. Hoyt Hutchinson is a snowflake. Hoyt Hutchinson is an idiot.

The Trump Baby balloon was displayed in a park outside Bryant-Denny Stadium in Tuscaloosa, Alabama Saturday during a game between Alabama and LSU. Donald Trump, who’s been attending sporting events lately amidst cheers and boos, was one of the spectators. The only reason for Trump’s visit was to receive cheers. He was in a red southern state watching a game between two Southeast Conference teams. He didn’t go to Massachusetts to watch a game between Yale and Harvard.

The Trump Baby balloon made its debut in the United Kingdom during a visit by Donald Trump (in case you’re a Republican, or even Mr. Hutchinson, just consider that England. It’s actually England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland, but I don’t expect you to absorb that much knowledge today). A website titled Trump Baby Tour loans out six of these balloons to protests.

Sure, it’s disrespectful. It’s childish. It’s immature. It’s hilarious. This is what comes from living in a nation that guarantees your freedom of speech and right to protest. If you believe the president of the United States behaves babyish instead of presidential, you have every right to fly a giant balloon depicting him as a baby. If you don’t like that people depict Trump this way, you have every right to scream about it. That’s it. You don’t have the right to shut them up.

Hoyt Hutchinson doesn’t care about freedom. He doesn’t care about the Constitution. He only cares about defending Donald Trump. Before he became the Trump Baby Slasher, this Alabama Trump Baby posted his intentions on social media. He posted a Facebook Live video where he stated, “I’m shaking, I’m so mad right now. I’m fixing to pop this balloon, without a doubt. Stay tuned. This should be interesting.” Being so mad that you’re “shaking” is another fine example of being triggered. Also, before they pop balloons in Alabama, it’s always “fixing” to pop.

Like an Alabama Trump Baby coward, he snuck up behind the balloon, slashed it, got arrested, posted bond, and before the game was over, he created and posted a GoFundMe page for his legal defense. Seriously. I can’t wait to hear his defense in court.

The idiot openly boasts his intentions to break the law, then deprives other Americans of their rights, and then asks other idiots for money for his legal defense. It’s working as he’s already raised over $35,000. Fortunately for this idiot, all Trump supporters are idiots.

He posted another video afterward where he said, “Some liberals tried to come to my hometown and start some trouble.” Ya’ know, the last time conservatives in Alabama got mad about “liberals” coming to town to protest and accused them of starting “trouble,” Alabama didn’t come off looking that good. Why didn’t he just call them “agitators?” Hutchinson, like all Trump supporters, will end up on the wrong side of history. He’s already wrong and you don’t need more proof of that than his crime winning the approval of Ann Coulter.

Coulter said this proves “Alabama is the greatest state in the union.” It’s so great, Coulter doesn’t live there.

Let me make something clear to Trump supporters. If you need a knife in a political debate, you lost that debate.

Hutchinson wanted to destroy the balloon so Trump couldn’t see it. Why? Because Donald Trump is a baby. Hutchinson didn’t want the balloon flying in his state because he’s a baby. Ann Coulter approved of this because she’s a baby. They didn’t just lose the argument, they reinforced the one made by the Trump Baby protesters.

This may seem like a silly issue and not important at all. But it is important. People who seek to silence dissent are more dangerous than any silly balloon. People like Coulter should praise protests, not those who seek to quiet it. People should not be donating legal fees to the Alabama Trump Baby who hates the First Amendment. Even conservatives should be condemning the actions of anyone attempting to silence protests, no matter the protest.

If you don’t like what people are saying, attempt to find a way to counter it other than bringing a weapon. Use your words, even if you have to borrow them from Republican talking points. Silencing protest is not making America great again.

The best way to deal with Trump Baby is not to be a baby about it. But again, thanks for helping them make their point. The Alabama Trump Baby who slashed the Trump Baby doesn’t need a GoFundMe page for his legal defense. He needs one to help supply him with diapers.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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A Danish Denial


cjones08292019

Donald Trump was invited to Denmark by that nation’s queen. Despite saying that the idea of purchasing Greenland, the world’s largest island near the Arctic that’s controlled by Denmark, was “not number one on the burner,” Trump has now canceled his visit after being denied and mocked by the Danish prime minister.

Trump’s visit was seen as an offbeat thank-you to Denmark for being a stalwart NATO member that’s supported U.S. involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan. But his postponing the trip shows that his only intention was to make a crappy offer for the island.

Denmark is smart not to make a land deal with a grifter who doesn’t pay his bills and ruins everything he touches. Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen said that she wouldn’t even have “interest in discussing the purchase of Greenland.”

Af first, Denmark considered it a joke. After discovering he was serious, they took it as an insult. Frederiksen had visited Greenland over the weekend and told reporters that Trump’s idea of buying the island was “absurd.” Welcome to our reality, Mrs. Prime Minister. Every day here just gets more absurd. Example: Trump wants to buy Greenland.

Since Trump claimed the purchase of Greenland was not related to his visit to Denmark, why did he abruptly cancel his trip? It’s because he’s a big baby.

Trump was never to entitled Greenland though he’s in the habit of everyone bending over backward and kissing his ass. What sort of tantrum would he have had thrown if he had lost the election? We’ve seen his tantrums over losing the popular vote and having the smallest inauguration. What will his tantrum be like when he’s defeated in 2020? I’m looking forward to finding that out.

When we purchased Alaska and the Louisiana territory, they were for sale (in case you’re a Republican, Alaska was sold by Russia and Louisiana by France). When we took Hawaii, we stole it (in case you’re a Republican, we stole it from Hawaiians). We stole and bought the American southwest. Puerto Rico, Guam, and the Philippines were ceded to us by Spain after the Spanish-American War. American Samoa was annexed. Spain ceded Florida to us in 1821 as a prank. The days of taking, buying, and selling territory without any consideration given to the native inhabitants are pretty much over. There are two people apparently unaware of that; Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump.

The United States has never had a claim on Greenland. Donald Trump is a big baby to be insulted by Denmark’s refusal to discuss selling it to him. He’s the one who insulted them first. How would he feel if Denmark offered to purchase Montana, then got a hair up their ass when we told them the idea was “absurd.”

Donald Trump is absurd and once again, we’re being laughed at on the world stage. Trump is confused that having a little orange snit and tempter tantrum is viewed as being strong. It’s not. When a baby screams its head off in the grocery store because the parents won’t buy it a candy bar, nobody sees that baby as being strong. They see it as being a baby and everyone in close proximity really dislikes that baby and the parents spend the rest of their time in the store apologizing for it.

Screaming and crying works for babies…sometimes. It doesn’t work for adults or even people like Trump who are supposed to be adults.

The world sees Donald Trump as being a baby. Nobody outside the U.S. likes that baby and we’re going to be apologizing for it for a really long time. Thanks to Donald Trump, we can’t even give Canada grief for Bryan Adams or Justin Beiber anymore. Maybe Nickelback.

Denmark is the big winner here. Not only did they get to deny Trump and mock him on the world stage, but now they don’t have to put up with an obnoxious Trump visit. I am now officially jealous of Denmark.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Boris Baby


cjones07302019

Boris Johnson is the new prime minister of the United Kingdom and not the “United Kingston” as Ivanka Trump tweeted. The Princess of Nepotism underscores just how much we have in common with our greatest ally, and that is stupid, narcissistic, racist leadership that may destroy our countries.

And the two leaders, Trump and Johnson, have a lot in common. They were both born in New York City and wear bleached dead wombats on their heads. They’re both liars, Boris lost a newspaper job for plagiarism and even lied about Brexit which helped lead to its passing. Trump lied about Brexit too, claiming he stood in Scotland the day before Brexit predicting it would pass, but the fact is, he was in Scotland the day AFTER Brexit passed, predicting it would cause the collapse of the European Union, something he and Vladimir Putin would rejoice over.

As The Guardian compares them, “Both are loudmouthed man-children, with a history of adultery and other scandals, whose professional success is a combination of immense privilege, unscrupulous opportunism, and relentless self-promotion, all happily promoted by a complicit environment.”

Both are bigots. Just last week, Trump told black women to “Go back to where you came from.” In the past, Boris has referred to Africans as “pickaninnies” with “watermelon smiles,” to writing in a column for The Daily Telegraph that Muslim women wearing burqas look like “mailboxes,” “bank robbers” and “letter bombers.” He’s referred to gay men as “tank-topped bumboys” and female Labor MPs as “hot totties.”

Another thing they have in common is that they were both put into office by a minority of the population. Boris actually has a smaller mandate than Trump, who won roughly 46% of the popular vote, coming in behind Hillary Clinton by nearly three million votes. Boris was chosen by the membership of the Conservative party, which accounts for roughly 0.2% of the British population. Boris’ electorate is actually older and whiter than Trump’s. Both men will refuse to be leaders of their entire nations and will cater to just their base, which is racist white people.

Trump ran for president promising to build a wall on the southern border and Mexico would pay for it. Boris lied with a xenophobic strategy as well during the Brexit campaign, claiming Turkey would join the European Union and become a back door for Syrian refugees to enter the UK. Then, he promised to build a wall on the French border and make Syria pay for it (I made that part up).

Both men are prone to attack the physical appearances of others despite the way they look. Trump insulted then-presidential candidate Carly Fiorina’s face, called Rosie O’Donnell “fat” and “ugly,” and even called a winner of his Miss Universe pageant “Miss Piggy,” despite the fact he looks like a rancid muppet. Boris once said that Vladimir Putin looked like Dobby, the house elf from Harry Potter.

It’s interesting that within another similarity, you find that one difference. Neither man would be in the top office of their respective nations today without an assist from Putin, yet Johnson will criticize Putin while Trump only lavishes worship and praise on the Russian strongman.

When Putin said, “The liberal idea had outlived its purpose,” and “the liberal idea has become obsolete.” Boris said history would prove Putin wrong. Trump, being unable to comprehend that Putin was attacking western democracies and not his Democratic Party rivals and liberals in California, rejoiced in Putin’s statement and added that Putin “congratulated” him as “every other leader of every other country” had done.

OK, that’s another difference. Boris can read and comprehend.

Before the Brexit vote, the Russian government was interfering by promoting false information on social media with Twitter bots and Russian troll farms in a similar manner in which they meddled in the U.S. presidential election in favor of Donald Trump. Cambridge Analytica aided both campaigns and may have coordinated with Russia to spread their propaganda.

If there was no Russian meddling, Trump wouldn’t be in the White House and Boris wouldn’t be moving into 10 Downing Street today. Right now, Putin must be happy despite looking a lot like Dobby.

These two babies belong to Putin but its the rest of us who will have to clean up their mess.

Support the cartoonist

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

UK Baby Baby


cjones06052019

When Donald Trump pays an international visit, he’s not courted and given pomp and pageantry because he’s liked, admired, and well respected. He’s given all that because of the direct opposite. He’s given, no pun intended, the royal treatment because foreign leaders understand his fragile ego soaks it up and it makes it easier for them to manipulate him. Trump’s visit the United Kingdom is only the third time a state visit has been given to an American president (the other two being George W. Bush and Barack Obama).

Trump has been given state dinners, parades, and even a sword dance. Basically, he’s feted this way because he’s a baby. The majority of the UK’s citizens understand this and have chosen to welcome Trump, once again, with a giant blimp of a Trump baby.

Trump displayed his level of class for his host by calling Princess Meghan Markle “nasty,” then denying it happened, despite there being audio of it. He used the same insult for London’s mayor, Sadiq Khan. Then, he griped about the impression CNN is giving the world of the United States (while watching local coverage in London), and suggested consumers should boycott the network and its parent company, AT&T. He’s also attempted to interfere in the debates over Brexit and the decision on who will serve as the next prime minister.

Trump stated, “Haven’t seen any protests yet, but I’m sure the ‘fake news’ will be working hard to find them.” Yeah, I’m not sure finding them will be that difficult when they’re flying a giant orange balloon shaped like a Trump baby. Last year during Trump’s visit, over 250,000 crammed the streets of London, with a further 150,000 around the UK to protests America’s baby. Hearing of the balloon, Trump decided to avoid London because it hurt his feelings, which makes me think we should put a Trump baby on every street corner in the United States.

Trump has a 70 percent negative rating in the UK. You don’t have to be a far-left liberal to see that Donald Trump is a xenophobic, racist, sexist, Nazi-defending ignoramus. Trump should be protested and unwelcomed everywhere he visits. Protesting is standing against the hateful agenda of Donald Trump. This treatment shouldn’t just be expressed by the citizens, but by government leaders as well.

It’s disappointing that world leaders patronize the actual Trump baby, even if it’s for the benefit of alliances and trade. Trump doesn’t deserve tea with the Queen. He deserves a milkshake. Stop patronizing and start protesting.

Music and humor are the two things I’m proud of most with my British ancestry. Now, when citing the Beatles, Monty Python, and the guys who gave us Shaun of the Dead, I can also point to the protesters who fly the Trump Baby.

Thank, you UK. Fly, baby, fly.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Royal Babies


cjones05092019

Donald Trump is a baby.

The man whined over college athletes not “thanking him enough” after he had China release them from jail for shoplifting. He whined last week over Twitter removing bots from his followers, which puts him even further behind Obama in another area. At a Coast Guard event in 2017, he whined, “No politician in history has been treated worse or more unfairly.” He whines when people call him out on his lies. He whines that the media uses facts. He whines when people he’s not loyal to abandon their loyalty to him. He whines when courts won’t let him burn the Constitution. He whines that he can’t have Russian spies in his campaign without people saying it looks suspicious.

The primaries were unfair. The debates were unfair. The general election was unfair. He even whines when it rains.

Not only have I given up on Trump ever pivoting to presidential, I’ve given up on him pivoting to adulthood. We didn’t elect a president (we didn’t elect Trump period, but we’ll save that for another day), we elected a baby. A great big, old, orange baby.

So, why is Trump so insecure? There are theories.

One theory is, he’s stupid and doesn’t measure up to people who aren’t stupid. He’s a guy who demanded that Obama release his school transcripts who won’t release his own. He even had Michael Cohen call his universities and threaten them not to ever release his records, which they’re already prohibited from doing by law.

Another theory is, he hasn’t actually accomplished anything in his life. Everything was handed to him. Maybe if he makes enough noise, people won’t notice all his claims are lies.

Maybe it’s the botched hair transplant that left a skanky, bleached ferret on his head. Fun fact: The ferret died from inhaling hair spray.

Maybe it’s a tiny penis. Lots of men overcompensate for that by buying really big cars, big guns, building up their muscles, screaming at women and immigrants, joining the Klan, voting for Donald Trump, etc.

Or, we can go with my new theory. Donald Trump wears a diaper.

There’s no shame for an adult who must wear a diaper. It’s a medical thing. I don’t think we should laugh at them…unless they’re Donald Trump. Why laugh at Trump over such a thing? Because it’s the kinda thing he’d laugh at someone else over. If you’ve ever been around Trump, have you heard a “crunch, crunch, crunch” sound coming from his nether regions when he walks? How about a “squish, squish, squish?”

But think about it. The guy is a billionaire who owns his own clothing line, yet he can’t wear a suit that fits his body. They’re all too big. That would hide his diaper and probably be much more comfortable when you go hours without changing it.

And, someone needs to change it. I had a baby. Three things that make a baby a cranky baby are, lack of sleep, hunger, and a full diaper. We know Trump’s not hungry because it’s like a hamberder paradise over at the White House. We know he’s not tired because he doesn’t work a hectic schedule. So, the diaper must be full. Whose job is it to change that diaper? It’s hard to tell because everyone who works for Trump is the kind of person who’s expunged all dignity to wallow through whatever amount of orangy shit Trump forces them to dive into.

Of course, changing the diaper doesn’t change the fact he still has to wear a diaper. But, maybe he won’t be AS cranky. Now, every time I see and hear him screaming at one of his rallies, I’m going to wonder just how full is that diaper. And, does Steve Mnuchin wash his hands after his turn changing it?

Donald Trump does not feel good about himself. He thinks he’s a piece of crap. When he attacks other people, he’s trying to bring them down to his level. But, you can’t bring people down to your level. The only person who can bring you down is yourself.

Donald Trump has been tearing himself down for years to the point that he’s nothing more than a lying, racist, sexist, Islamophobic, stealing-from-charity, narcissistic, insecure, lusting-after-his-daughter, skanky-ferret and diaper wearing scumbag. Maybe the royal family would like to have one of those.

I’m open to a trade. We get a nice, newborn baby with a charming English accent (they come with those, right?), and they get…well, we better not tell them beforehand.

They’ve seen the blimp.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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London Calling


cjones07182018

I’m tired. This cartoon took over four hours to draw and color. OK, four hours, three minutes and 18 seconds (my video program has a clock). Your cartoonist needs sleep and vitamin C so, you’re not getting a column today.

Here’s the video.

Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Trump Baby


cjones07102018

 

For the first time in my life, I think I feel sorry for the Queen of England.

At some point between meeting Prime Minster Theresa May, Boris Johnson, listening to bagpipes, golf in Scotland, lots of executive time, and avoiding protesters, Donald Trump will meet Queen Elizabeth. God help the Queen.

It’s the protests that may be the most interesting. Over one million people signed a petition to ban Trump from visiting the United Kingdom. It worked for a while as Trump canceled a previously planned trip. He blamed the excessive cost of the American embassy and blamed Obama, despite the embassy being planned during the second Bush administration.

Street protests against America’s wannabe fascist are expected to draw over 100,000 people in London, which Trump plans to mostly avoid. The mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, who Trump has feuded with, says Trump is not welcome in his city. He’s even gone so far as to approve a permit for a giant Trump baby balloon to float above the Palace of Westminster.

Trump Baby is a cartoonish depiction of Trump as an infant (about the same age as migrant children he’s been throwing into baby prisons). The floating caricature looks angry, is wearing diapers, and holding a cell phone. Organizers set a fundraising goal of $20,000 for the Trump Baby, which they surpassed. Apparently, more people in London want to see Trump Baby than the real man baby.

Some people in the UK don’t like it. UKIP leader Nigel Farage said the plan was “the biggest insult to a sitting US President ever.” Maybe he’s not a history buff and is unaware of the time Britain literally burned down the White House.

Though Trump Baby has been approved by the mayor’s office, it still needs permits from the National Air Traffic Service and the Metropolitan Police.

According to people close to Trump who like to leak embarrassing details about their boss, he really hates being called or treated like a baby, which is really odd because he expects to be coddled everywhere he goes. He’s even planning some alone coddling time with Vladimir Putin during their summit in Finland next week. Maybe they can get a honeymoon suite at the Helsinki Hilton.

Since the organizers exceeded their fundraising goal, they plan to send Trump Baby on a world tour. The plan is to have the balloon haunt Trump wherever he goes. I think Tom Steyer, the impeach Trump guy, should spend his billions on funding Trump Baby’s journey. It’d be a more effective way of trolling Trump than those commercials, and funnier too.  Perhaps your city could float its own Trump Baby as a Trump deterrent.

It may also keep scarecrows out of your cornfields.

Watch me draw.

Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!