If you haven’t heard about bans on gas stoves, you will because it’s the latest Republican freakout.
Remember the freakouts over previous (mostly imagined) bans, like those on incandescent light bulbs, cheeseburgers, cow farts, gas cars, coal, and toilets you don’t have to flush at least 15 times? Republicans made a lot of noise over each of those, even though like the War on Christmas, most aren’t real. But howling about fake bans takes the heat off of you for not doing all the shit you promised you would if you took over the House.
Screaming about fake bans doesn’t stop inflation or secure the border.
But Republican politicians have been tweeting up a storm about liberals coming to take their gas stoves. Jim “Gym” Jordan, the king of gaslighters, tweeted, “God. Guns. Gas Stoves.” Democratic Senator, and coal lover, Joe Manchin said, “The federal government has no business telling American families how to cook their dinner.” Actually, it does. Cook all poultry to 165 degrees, unless you want to “own the libs” by eating pink chicken. Ron DeSantis even went on TV to scream that nobody’s taking away gas stoves in Florida.
I bet a bunch of these lawmakers don’t even know what kind of stoves are in their homes. But a bunch will now swap out their electric stoves for gas, like that time they all went to Chick-fil-A to own the libs after that franchise was criticized for funding hate groups. Mmmm, mmm, mmm. I don’t know about gas versus electric, but chicken is extra good when cooked with hate.
From all this noise, you’d think the Biden administration has put gas stoves on notice, right? Wrong.
The Biden administration has not said anything about banning gas stoves except that they’re not doing it. Nobody is banning all gas stoves. This noise is manufactured by Republicans because some cities and states have banned gas stoves in NEW buildings. Even then, that’s not a ban on all gas stoves. Nobody is coming for your guns or gas stoves.
But this kind of howling works, even when they’re all lies. Millions of Republicans believe Joe Biden is in favor of defunding the police, even though he’s come out forcefully against that idea. Joe Biden also is not responsible for a ban on sexy green M&M or Mr. Potatohead’s penis.
Sometimes these lies turn into actual legislation. Look at what House Republicans passed last week based on bullshit. One bill that passed condemns attacks “on pro-life facilities, groups, and churches,” but doesn’t mention shootings and bombings at abortion clinics. The other forces doctors to provide care to infants who survive an abortion, which is based on the lie that somewhere in this nation despite all the abortion bans, someone’s providing abortions in the 9th month of pregnancy. And coming soon, a prohibition on banning gas stoves.
It’s being discussed on the state level. Several Republicans in state legislatures are talking about banning cities from banning gas stoves in new buildings which must mean Tucker has talked about it. Several yee-haw states have already banned teaching Critical Race Theory in public schools even though NOBODY is teaching it.
I’ve had gas and electric stoves in my life and quite frankly, I don’t notice any taste difference in food cooked on gas or electric stoves. I’m not saying there’s not, I’m saying I haven’t noticed it. I understand the debate over propane and charcoal grilling better (yes, charcoal makes the food taste better but propane is so much cleaner and less hassle). Only 38% of Americans use gas stoves and that number will keep going down. Gas stoves are bad for the climate and dangerous to your health, but the gas lobby won’t tell you that. Hell, they’ll probably tell you it’s safe to stick your head inside a gas stove, which is still better than sticking it up Trump’s ass.
I totally expect someone to kill himself in the coming weeks by sticking his head in a gas stove and for a Republican reply to be, “Yeah, but was that person vaccinated?” I wonder how many Republicans have tried to hill themselves by sticking their heads in electric stoves.
Over on Twitter, JoJoFrom Jerz tweeted, “Republicans wanna decide what books you can read, what words you can say, which history you can learn, which gender you are, who you can love or marry & what you can or cannot do with your own body, but do go on about how ‘Dems are coming for your gas stoves and M&Ms’ won’t you.”
JoJo forgot voting rights where Republicans wanna decide who can vote and which candidates, through gerrymandering, you can vote for.
It’s too bad we can’t ban Republican gaslighting.
Music note: I listened to Cake, Blur, The Black Keys, and The Beatles. I listened to the entire Cake album, “Prolonging the Magic” and now “Sheep Go to Heaven” will be stuck in my head all day.
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