Flushles The President


Wouldn’t it be funny if the flushed documents thing is just a ruse to cover up that it’s Donald Trump naturally clogging all the White House toilets? Think about it. He can’t keep his teeth in his mouth and he eats nothing but Big Macs and KFC. It’s highly unlikely he’s chewing his food.

New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman has a new book, Confidence Man, which reports that White House staffers would periodically find toilets in the president’s (sic) residence clogged with paper.

While in office, Trump would tear up documents and staffers would routinely tape them back together. After he was defeated in the 2020 election and left town before the Biden inauguration, he took at least 15 boxes of documents with him to Mar-a-Lago, perhaps to feed to bedbugs. Now, we find out he was also flushing documents while in the White House.

Naturally, Donald Trump issued a statement denying the flushing which means he probably left floaters for others to discover throughout his entire life. Trump was here. He could probably take a dump on 5th Avenue and not lose any supporters.

Trump’s statement said, “Another fake story, that I flushed papers and documents down a White House toilet, is categorically untrue and simply made up by a reporter in order to get publicity for a mostly fictitious book.” If this continues the pattern from every Trump statement before it, that means the allegations in Haberman’s book are true.

Destroying these documents is a violation of the Presidential Records Act. The House Oversight Committee is investigating the 15 boxes Trump stole and took to Mar-a-Lago and the National Archives have asked the Justice Department to investigate whether Trump’s handling of these official records violated federal law. Joe the Plumber has not released a statement.

In 2019 at a business roundtable, Donald Trump went on a rant about showers, sinks, faucets, and toilets. Everyone speculated that he was probably talking about water flow when he said, “People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once.” But now, I guess he was talking about the great difficulty in flushing government documents and not just undigested chicken bones from KFC.

I guess what Poopsie was talking about was that America needs larger toilets for larger loads. Big ass toilets made with big flushes for big asses would truly make American great again.

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