Hot Air Espionage

I drew a cartoon for CNN on the Chinese spy balloon which will run tomorrow (Sunday). I usually wait until after the CNN cartoon is published before I hit the same subject, but this spy balloon business is too much fun.

After I finished drawing CNN’s cartoon yesterday afternoon, I thought of another idea I liked that I intended to draw today, but after traveling by bus from Indianapolis to Kokomo, Indiana (please…I can’t take any more Beach Boys references), I got this idea right as I sat down at Starbucks.

I spent all day Thursday traveling. During one of my many many many layovers, I received a comment from my friend, fellow cartoonist, and pride of Green Bay, Joe Heller, who asked if I had seen any Chinese balloons while traveling. I was like, “What the Hell are you talking about?”. I had been in the air all day and hadn’t been able to keep up with the news, which of course is when China decides to send a balloon to spy on our country. Watching TV in my hotel room with very bad WiFi Thursday night, I saw what all the fuss was about…and it’s all the news was about on Friday too.

So what’s the deal with this balloon? Why would China be so brazen to float a spy balloon over the United States? They had to know we’d see it. We look up in this country. China said it’s an oops, but we know they’re lying. And then they sent another to float over Latin America. Why are they spying on Belize?

Laurent Boebert tweeted that Donald Trump wouldn’t have let this spy balloon invade our airspace. She then tweeted, “Joe Biden has just given the “okay” for Chinese spy balloons to fly all over our nation.” It’s tweets like this why #LaurenBoebertIsSoDumb has been trending for over a year. You would think from her tweets that we wouldn’t be able to look up without seeing a Chinese spy balloon.

Here’s the thing, kids: Gravity exists even if you don’t believe in it. If you shoot a balloon down, it falls to the ground. There are things on the ground, like people. Wanting to shoot it down over land is a seriously stupid idea and thank God nobody would ever put someone like Lauren Boebert in a position of responsibility… which says a lot about her voters who sent her to Congress and Kevin McCarthy who put this moron on the House Oversight Committee.

If Donald Trump was president (sic), the first thing he’d ask about shooting down a spy balloon would be, “How will this affect me financially?” He might also ask, “Will this hurt the over dozen patents China gave Ivanka?” He’d probably also ask, “Balloons? Why didn’t I get a balloon? Isn’t every day all about me? And where’s my cake?” He’d definitely ask, “Before we shoot it down, it’s not from Russia, is it?” I’m sure after it was shot down he’d boast that he shot it down while Obama never shot down a Chinese spy balloon. And if China sent a balloon while Trump was president, he’d probably say it was a gift for the cake he gave Xi Jinping at Mar-a-Lago.

Ya see, Lauren Boebert, Russia wouldn’t DARE fly a spy balloon over American air space if Donald Trump was president. They wouldn’t have to. They’d just have to visit the Oval Office where Trump wouldn’t allow the press to watch, and where Trump will gladly give them classified information, even if it came from an ally.

So I don’t want to hear this shit about President Biden being weak and Trump being a strong president (sic) who was oh-so patriotic. Donald Trump was a goon for Russia. He was a useful idiot. Donald Trump said he trusted Putin more than American intelligence, which he recently reiterated. Donald Trump said Putin was a stronger leader than President Obama. Donald Trump repeated Putin’s talking points. Donald Trump said Putin was a genius for invading Ukraine. Donald Trump sent white nationalist terrorists to attack the Capitol in order to install him as an unelected dictator. Donald Trump is a domestic threat to this nation.

I think one thing the spy balloon tells us is that China’s technology isn’t as advanced as we thought it was. While we’re upset about the balloon invading our airspace, our satellites do this daily to China and other nations.

I don’t believe our government is going to allow this balloon to escape. They’ll either shoot it down after it passes over the east coast and is above open water. Or better yet, they’ll capture it.

The Chinese spy balloon won’t be a threat to this nation for long. Unfortunately, we’ll still have the hot air of the Russian spy balloon for a long time.

Creative note: As I stated above, this cartoon was drawn in a Kokomo Starbucks.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Trump Tower Of Spies


Remember when Donald Trump claimed President Obama spied on and had wiretapped Trump Tower, though he never did? Of course we knew then that Donald Trump projects. Whatever Donald Trump accuses someone of, it’s something where he’s actually guilty.

Donald Trump complained about Hillary Clinton’s emails, and yet, his own White House (including his daughter) used personal emails and deleted records. They especially hid evidence of Trump asking other world leaders to dig up dirt on his opponents.

When Donald Trump was accusing then candidate Joe Biden of engaging in corruption in Ukraine with his son Hunter, Trump was literally engaging in corruption in Ukaine. He withheld military aid from Ukraine in exchange for them to make up some shit about the Bidens. Rudy was oozing all over it.

Donald Trump gave Ted Cruz the nickname “Lyin’ Ted” (which was pretty accurate) and called Hillary Clinton “Crooked Hillary.” Donald Trump told over 20,000 lies as president and he was the most corrupt person EVER to hold that office. The man tried to put an international summit at one of his failing golf resorts. He attempted to force world leaders to pay him to attend. I can go over the long record of Trump’s corruption, but I don’t want to be here all day.

Trump called Clinton a “bigot.” Yeah, let that one soak in. When Clinton said Trump was “Putin’s puppet,” his witty retort was, “You’re the puppet,” and after he won the election, he stood next to Putin and said he trusted him more than U.S. intelligence agencies. Also, back to that corruption thing, Trump tried to bribe Putin (as a candidate) with a Moscow penthouse in a proposed Trump Tower. By the way, that’s illegal.

Which brings us to all the times when Donald Trump has accused others of breaking laws. Donald Trump should be in prison.

During the Russia investigation, he claimed all the collusion was between Hillary Clinton and the Russians. Yet, his dumbass son (the eldest) invited Russians into his campaign HQ (Trump Towers which was NOT being bugged) to provide dirt on Hillary Clinton.

Donald Trump was real quick to pile on whenever a Democrat, like Al Franken, was embroiled in a sex scandal. Yeah, Mr. Grab-Them-By-The-Pussy was all over it.

The Washington Post’s Philip Bump found that Trump’s top five insults were “fake,” “failed,” “dishonest,” “weak,” and “liar. That probably also means Trump doesn’t really believe he’s a “stable genius.”

Now we have learned that corrupt and lying Donald Trump, who claimed he was spied on and it was bigger than Watergate, was spying on his enemies.

Donald Trump publicly called for the Justice Department to spy on his enemies…and William Barr, the attorney General, obliged. Remember when then-Senator Kamala Harris asked then-Attorney General William Barr if anyone at the White House had ever asked or encouraged him to spy on anyone? Do you remember him playing stupid and dumb with his answer? He’s not stupid or dumb and he needs to testify before Congress again. Maybe before Adam Schiff’s committee.

We learned Trump’s DOJ spied on at least five reporters from outlets he despised. And, the reporters are just now learning this. Three reporters for The Washington Post, who were covering the Russia investigation, had their phone records seized. Other reporters from Political, Buzzfeed, and The New York Times had their emails collected and surveilled by Trump’s DOJ. On top of all this, Trump’s DOJ obtained CNN Pentagon reporter Barbara Starr’s Pentagon extension, her home and cell numbers, the CNN Pentagon booth phone number, and her work and personal email accounts. And, she just found this out last week.

We also learned the Justice Department spied on Democratic Congressmen and harsh Trump critics, Eric Swalwell and Adam Schiff (who Trump liked to call “Shifty Schiff.” Just how “shifty” is Trump?). Hell, the Justice Department even subpoenaed Twitter to find out the identity of the parody account pretending to be Trump supporter Devin Nunes’ cow.

The Trump administration argued to judges to acquire these warrants, that they were looking for leakers. Do you remember the great big brouhaha over FISA warrants? Devin Nunes does but he didn’t have a problem with there being a warrant for his cow.

We never did get to see the evidence candidate Trump claimed he had proving President Obama wasn’t born in the United States, but since he does project…I think Donald Trump was born in Kenya.

I want to see a lot of these people go to prison.

Creative note: This is the very first cartoon I’ve drawn in Procreate on an iPad. Bear with me while I get used to it. For the time being with blogging, creating videos, and all my other stuff, I’m going to keep using my Surface Pro. But the actual cartoons will be created on the iPad…unless I give up before I can return the damn thing. I’m very frustrated at this moment but the watercolor alone is amazing.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Spy Vs Orange Spy


Here’s a catch-22 for Donald Trump. He can say the press is right that a spy was extracted from the Kremlin out of fears his big, fat, treasonous mouth would expose him to Vladimir Putin, or he can say the media is wrong and he was pulled out because details in their reporting of Russian meddling in the 2016 election was exposing the spy. Option one admits he’s a threat to national security either inadvertently out of stupidity or on purpose out of treason. If he picks option two, he admits there was Russian meddling. Donald Trump is not smart enough to catch or wiggle his way around that. Neither are his supporters. Go have fun with that today, kids while arguing on social media with the fucknuts.

The CIA is saying the press got it wrong and he was extracted because of option two and journalists picked up details about the CIA’s Kremlin sources. But, the CIA offered to pull the spy out in 2016 and he refused. They offered again in 2017 after Donald Trump was elected, and the spy accepted. And why wouldn’t he?

Donald Trump gives Russia preferential treatment over the United States. If you don’t believe me, just look at his reactions to the Russia investigation. Donald Trump created a lie that President Obama wiretapped Trump Tower. Then, he created a lie that the FBI planted a spy into his presidential campaign. Vladimir Putin did actually try, and maybe succeeded, in planting a spy in the Trump Campaign and President Dotard has never expressed any emotion over that or has even acknowledged it. That’d be like getting upset over an imaginary dog peeing on your tires after a Gorilla took a crap on your back seat.

Decades ago, the CIA recruited a midlevel Russian official who then advanced through the government’s ranks. The agency struck gold as he eventually gained access to the highest levels of the Kremlin. He became one of the CIA’s most important, and protected assets during the 2016 presidential election. He was protected to the point that he was not included in any of President Obama’s daily briefings so to limit the number of people with knowledge of the spy, and instead separate intelligence reports were sent to the president in specially-sealed envelopes.

The spy was able to confirm that Putin ordered and orchestrated Russia’s interference in our election himself and that the Russian president affirmatively favored Trump and personally ordered the hacking of the Democratic National Committee.

How do you think Putin would have reacted to catching a spy in the Kremlin? In March 2018, Russia poisoned a former spy and his daughter…in England.

So, if you’re a spy in the Kremlin feeding information to the CIA, you may feel a little nervous with an American presidential candidate praising Putin repeatedly while disparaging his own president. After that candidate is elected, you would probably get the night sweats. After seeing that president reveal classified information to the Russian ambassador and foreign minister in the Oval freaking Office, you would probably call the CIA and scream, “Get me the fuck out of here.”

If the spy wasn’t extracted by the Helsinki Summit, he may have thrown own ass off a building.

Donald Trump has had private, closed-door meetings with Putin. Trump has talked to Putin with only the Russian’s interpreter present. Trump has ordered an American interpreter to burn her notes after a closed-door session with Putin. Trump, while standing next to Putin, took his word that Russia didn’t meddle in our election over that of America’s intelligence agencies. Donald Trump, according to reports, even offered Putin a bribe to erect a Trump Tower in Moscow when he was a presidential candidate (instead, Putin bought Trump). Last week, Donald Trump tweeted a classified photo. So yeah, I’m sure that spy wanted out of Russia all because of the U.S. media.

Here’s a fun fact: Donald Trump has only polled above 50% in two nations and one of them is not the United States. One of those nations is Israel and I’ll give you only one guess for the other. If you’re a Republican, I’ll give you a hint: There’s been a few mentions of it already in today’s blog. Hey, I said only one hint.

The spy’s identity and location have not been reported. For his safety, let’s hope Donald Trump hasn’t been told.

Creative notes: I use two copy editors for my cartoons, Laura and Hilary. They’re wonderful. They both caught “by who” in this cartoon and said “by whom” is correct. But, they both said to keep “by who.” Laura said that nobody talks that way and “by whom” sounds “stilted.” Hilary wasn’t as delicate and said “by whom,” and I’m quoting her here…sounds “douchey.”

I love them.

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