Spokesperson

Corona Joyride


cjones10102020

Everything Donald Trump and his goons have said about the coronavirus has been wrong.

Last February, probably as part of her audition for the job of White House Spokesgoon, Kayleigh McEnany said, “We will not see diseases like the coronavirus come here, we will not see terrorism come here, and isn’t that refreshing when contrasting it with the awful presidency of President Obama?”

SpokesBarbie has excelled at her job of lying to the American public, but it’s really hard to gaslight that the virus hasn’t “come here” when you have the fucking virus. Also, the coronavirus did NOT come here during President Obama’s two terms and the majority of terrorists in the United States make up a part of Donald Trump’s base. Fact.

Last week, after Hope Hicks tested positive, Kayleigh went ahead and gave a press briefing. She claims she wasn’t aware of Hicks’ positive test for the virus, but we know Kayleigh lies. Now, three journalists who cover the White House tested positive for the virus in addition to two of Kayleigh’s staffers.

Just like Donald Trump, who went ahead and attended a New Jersey fundraiser after knowing Hope Hicks had tested positive and after being in her presence, Kayleigh has disregarded the safety of others in favor of selfishness, arrogance, and stupidity.

Donald Trump and his White House have no regard for anyone’s safety. They and Trump’s doctors refuse to tell us when Donald Trump last tested negative. For all we know, he went to that fundraiser after testing positive. For all we know, he went to last week’s debate after testing positive or at least knowing he should be in quarantine.

In fact, everyone in the White House and all who attended the super spreader event that was the Rose Garden ceremony for Amy Coney Barrett should be locked up in a bubble. They should all be in quarantine. Jared, Ivanka, and even the vice president, that ass-kissing sycophant who sleeps with a woman he calls “Mother,” should be in quarantine.

At the debate, Melania Trump, who now has the virus, and the Trump offsprings, Ivanka, Don Jr, Eric, and Tiffany, all arrogantly refused to wear masks. They arrived to the debate conveniently too late to be tested. They were offered face masks, which they refused. They should not have been offered face masks. They should have been kicked out promptly on their spoiled trust-fund baby asses.

McEnany continued to talk to the press after Trump’s positive diagnosis. She claimed it was safe because she had tested negative and not wearing a mask was her personal choice. I’m not saying she deserved to catch the virus, but let’s say catching it was her “personal choice.”

And if Mark Meadows, who also spoke to the press catches it, it’ll be the chief-of-staff’s personal choice. If the Trump kids catch it, it’ll be their personal choice too.

It was Chris Christie’s personal choice. Christie once said there is an acceptable number of deaths for the pandemic. Now, not wanting to be one of those “acceptable deaths,” has checked himself into a hospital after testing positive.

The Trump administration is still disregarding the safety of others. There has been no contact tracing from the Rose Garden super spreader event. They did not contact the Biden Campaign about the positive tests beforehand. They didn’t contact reporters after Wednesday’s press briefing. The New Jersey governor’s office is frustrated in that for their contact tracing for the Trump fundraiser at Donald Trump’s shitty golf resort (where previously, the biggest worry was acquiring bedbugs), the Republicans and Trump Campaign have only given them a list of names of the over 200 who attended the potential super spreader event. They’re not providing contact information.

And Donald Trump hasn’t just disregarded his own safety (out of stupidity) but also that of those who protect and serve him. He put the lives of Secret Service agents in jeopardy for his Sunday joyride so his supporters could see him cruising around outside Walter Reed hospital for a minute. He put their lives in danger again by going back to the White House last night. He’s putting the lives of everyone who works in the White House in danger. A lot of those workers are non-political and serve the president of the United States, no matter who he is or from which party.

Donald Trump has put appearance ahead of safety. Donald Trump’s first job is to protect the American people. With the infected including himself, Hope Hicks, Kayleigh McEnany, Chris Christie, Trump campaign manager Bill Stepien, Republican National Committee Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel, Kellyanne Conway, three Republican senators, Mike Lee of Utah, Thom Tillis of North Carolina, and Wisconsin’s Ron Johnson, Trump’s personal assistant Nick Luna, and University of Notre Dame President John Jenkins, Donald Trump can’t protect those closest to him. Donald Trump failed to protect himself.

And Kayleigh McEnany, who has spent the past eight months lying and spreading misinformation about the virus, who promised on her first day that she’d never lie to us, and who said Donald Trump would never allow the virus to enter this country, has now had the virus enter her. Her Dear Leader, who she professed so much bullshit faith in, failed to protect her.

Donald Trump refused to protect the nation from the virus. Instead, he spread false information and waged a war against face masks and those who were fighting the virus. He touted fake remedies like Hydroxychlorquine and told us time and time again it’s what was needed to fight the virus…while not using it himself after he caught the virus.

Did Donald Trump deserve to catch the virus? Kinda. He did ask for it. He challenged it. One thing he deserves is being behind Joe Biden 16 points in the latest poll.

And Donald Trump, for failing to protect this nation leading to over 210,000 deaths, deserves to be thrown out in November. Afterward, Donald Trump deserves to continue to receive the best medical care our government can offer him…in prison.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

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New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Goodbye, Schmoopie


cjones06162019

I don’t understand why everyone is celebrating and optimistic about the resignation of Sarah Huckabee Sanders as White House spokesperson.

Do you remember who Sanders replaced? Sean Spicer started his very first press briefing without taking questions and lying about crowd sizes. In fact, his very first briefing was solely about the size of the crowd for Trump’s inauguration. Afterward, Spicer said, “Sometimes, we can disagree on facts.” Thus, the setting for the Trump era began. It began with lies, it’s been nothing but lies since, and it will end with lies.

With Spicer’s resignation came Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the daughter of former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee. Sanders picked up where Spicer left off, lying and having total disdain and disregard for the truth and the responsibility of her position.

Sanders lied about several members of the FBI being happy over the firing of James Comey. She referred to the media as “fake news” while encouraging everyone to look at a video created by James O’Keefe, a guy famous for manipulating right-wing videos to suit his agenda. Sanders has claimed that Trump has never encouraged violence. All this was before she replaced Spicer. Then the fun began.

She claimed Trump didn’t dictate a statement from Trump Jr. about meeting with the Russians. That was a lie. Later, she admitted to Special Counsel Robert Mueller that she lied.

She claimed that the background check for Rob Porter, who was dismissed for domestic abuse accusations, was ongoing. The FBI later confirmed the check was complete and had been submitted to the White House. Once again, Sanders lied.

About Trump paying off Stormy Daniels, Sanders said, “there was no knowledge of any payments from the president.” Of course, that was a lie. She later explained the lie by saying her earlier statement was based on the “best information” she had at the time. You know, bullshit the president gave her. If this is true, she lied based on Trump’s info, looked like a fool, and continued to serve and lie for him. This is a person without any personal ethics or dignity.

Regarding the policy of separating migrant children from their parents, Sanders said it’s “very biblical to enforce the law.” Oh yeah? How biblical is it to lie on a daily basis? I do believe there’s something in the Bible regarding that.

She used the spokesperson Twitter account to publish the phone numbers of The New York Times opinion desk and to call out a restaurant that refused to serve her, which former White House ethics officials said was illegal and an abuse of her position.

When a White House intern attempted to take a microphone away from CNN’s Jim Acosta, Sanders released a manipulated video created by an InfoWars conspiracy theorist making Acosta appear to have abused the intern. Acosta’s press credentials were suspended.

While arguing that a border wall was necessary, Sanders claimed that the CBP stopped nearly 4,000 known or suspected terrorists when they crossed the Mexico border in 2018. It was soon revealed the actual numbers was six. Not 6,000. Not 600. Not 60 or even 16. SIX. And, they weren’t at the border.

When pressed to say the media are not the “enemy of the people,” Sanders flatly refused.

It has been over 90 days since the last press briefing from the White House. I’m not sure why she’s resigning since she hasn’t been doing her job anyway. Sanders used her position to lie to the American people, the same people who paid her salary.

There’s speculation that Sanders is planning to run for her dad’s old job, the governorship of Arkansas. How likely is it that a bunch of red-state voters will elect a person with zero experience who lies constantly? Oh yeah.

Sanders said she hopes her legacy is one of “honesty and integrity.” She also claims Trump’s administration has been the most transparent in American history. Quite frankly, her legacy will be the same as Baghdad Bob. Much like Sean Spicer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders is the punchline to a bad joke.

I think she should ride off into the sunset with Baghdad Bob. They can make beautiful, lying little children together.

The rough.

I threw this one at CNN for this week’s opinion newsletter. When it was obvious they wanted to go another route but we decided not to make a decision until Friday morning, I told them that I was going to go ahead and give this one to my clients, thus taking it out of consideration for them. For some reason, I was out of my zone while drawing the final version and repositioned the characters several times. The drawing had a lot of starts and stops.

CNNrough140

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Huckasans’ BFF


cjones04242019

Those who work as spokespersons in politics refer to what they do as spinning. Technically, it’s propaganda but it can be done where you never lie. The real art of spinning is to not tell the truths that hurt your message. You tell the truths that help your agenda and leave out those that don’t. When those truths are pointed out to you, you find a way to deflect or use your truths to counter those. The best spin doctors never lie. With the exception of the Nixon administration, you will have a hard time finding evidence of a White House spokesperson knowingly telling a lie. Yes, that includes the George W. Bush administration.

That has changed with the Trump administration. With these spinners, it’s hard to find examples of them telling the truth. In fact, on Trumps very first day in office, he sent his spokesperson, Sean Spicer, out in an ill-fitting suit to purposely lie to the press. When a president and his staff lie to the press, they’re lying to the American people. Spicer, on Trump’s orders, lied about something petty, insignificant, ridiculous and easily proven to be a lie. He claimed and argued that Trump had the largest inauguration attendance in presidential history. Sean Spicer never recovered and to this day, when you think of him you probably have an image of Melissa McCarthy’s SNL impersonation.

Sean Spicer will never be taken seriously ever again and will forever be seen as a ridiculous human being. Working for Donald Trump has destroyed the credibility of several people in his administration…like all of them. Even his physician has become a laughingstock (“Trump could live to be 200”). When you lie for a ridiculous human being, you become a ridiculous human being.

Spicer’s replacement, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, is a ridiculous human being.

Among the gems in the Mueller Report are the lies Huckabee Sanders admitted to Mueller’s team that she had told as press secretary.

On May 10, 2017, when a reporter pushed back on Sanders’ claim that “The rank and file of the FBI had lost confidence in their director (James Comey),” and quoted an FBI special agent who said “the vast majority of the bureau is in favor of Director Comey,” she said “Look, we’ve heard from countless members of the FBI that say very different things.”

Shocking no one, that was a lie. She just made it up. She told Mueller’s team it was a “slip of the tongue.” I thought a slip of the tongue was when you say something that’s in your brain, but you didn’t want to say, like a secret racist dropping an N-bomb, which Trump will surely do at some point soon. But apparently, in Sanders’ case, your tongue slips and bullshit comes out. Usually, when you say something was a “slip of the tongue,” that defense doesn’t help you at all.

After the Mueller Report was released, Sanders went on Good Morning America and lied to cover for her lie. She claimed she made the statement in the heat of the moment, and that it was not “a scripted talking point.” Then, she started spinning. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t a robot like the Democrat Party that went out for two and a half years and repeated time and time again that there was definitely Russian collusion between the president and his campaign.” Her deflection was supposed to somehow put heat on Democrats for her lie. This is Trumpian logic. Democratic Party robots are much more dangerous than lying press secretaries.

If Sanders ever conducts another press briefing (they’ve phased them out), reporters need to grill her about her lie. Any other administration would have fired her for lying. This administration sends her out to lie.

White House correspondent for National Urban Radio, April Ryan said Sanders needs to resign. Ryan is the reporter whom Trump asked if she could set up a meeting between him and the Congressional Black Caucus, forgetting that’s not a reporter’s job and assuming that all black people know each other. Surprisingly, he didn’t have a “slip of the tongue that day.”

During a panel discussion on CNN about Sanders’ lie, Ryan said, “She outright lied and the people, the American people, can’t trust her. They can’t trust what’s said from the president’s mouthpiece, spokesperson, from the people’s house. Therefore, she should be let go. She should be fired. End of story.” With the Trump administration, it’s not the end of story, though it should be.

Ryan summed up with, “When there is a lack of credibility there, you have to start and start lopping the heads off. It’s ‘Fire Me Thursday’ or ‘Fire Me Good Friday.’ She needs to go.” But that’s the thing. To get rid of the liars in this White House, you would have to lop the head off and Trump is the big orange head.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders has as much credibility as Tokyo Rose, Hanoi Hannah, Seoul City Sue, and Baghdad Bob.

I doubt Huckasans will resign or be fired, but she won’t be press secretary forever. Since her career options will be limited in the United States (how many times can her dad run for president?), maybe she can find work outside the country.

The “Pink Lady” who delivers highly emotional propaganda disguised as news for North Korea’s state-run media (imagine the only channel being Fox News) is really old. She has to permanently retire at some point (she retires but keeps coming back). Perhaps Sanders can put on a pink Joseon and sing the praises for a different Dear Leader. And, she won’t have to worry about nosy reporters asking her tough questions after saying stupid like, “Trump is orange because of good genes.” And if they do, she can just feed them to dogs or have them shot with anti-aircraft guns.

Spokesgoons need love too.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.