Special Master

Wossamotta Trump


Donald Trump’s demand that a Special Master be appointed to the declassification case is now backfiring in his fat orange stupid face.

Trump’s legal team waited several weeks after the FBI seized stolen government documents, many of them classified, from Mar-a-Lago, his country club in South Florida ripe for bedbugs and spies from hostile nations. Trump’s team demanded that a Special Master be appointed to look at every document to decide which are executive privilege and attorney/client privilege. The Trump-appointed judge, who was confirmed AFTER he lost the election, sided with Trump’s team.

Granting a Special Master to this case initially stopped the investigation dead in its tracks for at least two months. This is very dangerous to the nation since this is classified information on informants and nuclear information and if DOJ can’t investigate, then they can’t assess the danger to our nation from the exposure of the documents. A basement in a golf club is not a secure environment to store top secret information.

Judge Raymond Dearie was appointed as Special Master and Trump was probably hoping he was as one-sided as the judge who gave him this gift, Judge Aileen Cannon.

The Justice Department and Trump’s lawyers did agree on the appoint of Judge Dearie as Special Master, which makes me wonder what the Trump team expected of him. So far, it seems he doesn’t have patience for bullshit.

The judge has demanded that Trump’s legal team point out which documents Trump has declassfied. He’s given them a deadline but so far, they haven’t come forth with any proof that any of the documents have been declassified. Trump’s lawyers said that a president can declassify anything he wants, which is true, but they haven’t actually told the judge which of the seized documents have been declassified, if any.

Trump gave an interview to Sean Hannity this week which didn’t play out like an actual interview from a journalist as there were very few follow-up questions or challenges to Trump’s bullshit. You know, bullshit like saying he didn’t know what was in the boxes taken to Mar-a-Lago but he declassified everything. A real journalist would have followed up with something like: Why would you declassify a document when you don’t know what’s in it?

But Trump said he declassified everything. Everything? If Donald Trump declassified everything, then his lawyers shouldn’t have a problem proving this to the judge. You would think there’s something on these documents, other than bedbugs, that would indicate they were declassified. By the way, Merrick Garland, you may now need to fumigate the entire headquarters of the Justice Department.

Judge Dearie must have watched that Hannity interview because after Trump suggested that the FBI planted documents, he’s demanding that the Trump team put up or shut up. Yes, the judge said in a filing that Trump’s team needs to submit a sworn declaration saying if they believe the Justice Department included any items on their “inventory” of materials taken from Mar-a-Lago that were not actually seized during the search.

The judge wrote that Trump’s legal team’s declaration must include “a list of any specific items set forth in the Detailed Property Inventory that Plaintiff asserts were not seized from the Premises on August 8, 2022.

Trump and many of his sycophantic bozos, members of Congress, goons on Fox News, some of his attorneys have publicly claimed that the FBI planted evidence at Mar-a-Lago during the August 8 search. But, not one of them has produced one shred of evidence that anything was planted.

When Trump suggested to Hannity that evidence was planted, it was the only time his pet sycophant asked a follow-up question, asking if the search was recorded on video. Trump said no because the search was conducted “in a room.”

Ya’ know, I’m not surveillance expert but I do believe I’ve seen video recordings that were from inside a room.

Trump made that statement around the time he said he could declassify documents just by thinking about it.

Judge Drearie also opened the door to holding a hearing where “witnesses with knowledge of the relevant facts” could be called to testify about the Mar-a-Lago search and the materials that were seized.

If this happens, it would require Trump goons who’ve been pushing lies, like those about planted evidence, to put up or shut up. While you’re legally in the clear to lie on Fox and Friends, Hannity, and Tucker, it is illegal to lie in court. Oh, please, sweet baby Jesus…you gotta have this judge call every single Fox goon to testify on this. Get Rudy and Kash Patel in there too. Challenge them to lie in court. Please, please, please, oh please, with sugar honey bucket of oats on top, please. I wanna see these motherfuckers sweat on the stand like Alex Jones.

On Wednesday, a federal appeals court freed the Justice Department to resume using documents marked as classified that were seized, blocking Trump-appointed Cannon’s ruling that halted the investigation.

The appeals court also agreed with the Justice Department that Trump’s lawyers and the Special Master need not look at the classified documents. Yeah, let’s get this ball rolling. There are empty jail cells to fill.

Donald Trump is running out of magic hats to pull tricks out of. The hat containing Judge Cannon may have been his last. Even Bullwinkle was smarter than this shit.

Music note: I listened to Kaiser Chiefs while drawing today’s cartoon.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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MAGA Masters


This is my concern…or another one of my concerns. If a Trump-appointed judge can install a Special Master to go over every single document the FBI seized from Trump’s bedbug-ridden country club (MAGA-Lard-O is it?) to decide what the Justice Department can and can’t use as evidence (mostly can’t here), then who will she pick?

These people do their gooning with a straight face. They pretend they’re impartial and doing their jobs correctly. They claim they’re serving the people of this nation when in fact, they’re just serving one man. It’s why they all have brown noses.

This judge in Florida who granted Trump’s request for additional privilege and to stall the investigation is obtuse to the fact that we all know she’s a Trump appointee whose confirmation was rushed through the Senate in Trump’s final days in office. In this case, she hasn’t just stalled the investigation. She’s stopped it entirely until the Special Master says he’s done. How long will that take? Hell, maybe Trump will be president (sic) again by the time he says he’s done. Maybe Merrick Garland will no longer be the Attorney General. Maybe by the time the Special Master is done, the Justice Department will revert back to being the Department of Protecting Donald Trump’s Bulbous Orange Ass.

With a straight face, this judge publicly rejected DOJ’s argument to treat Trump like any other subject of an investigation and issued an opinion that he should receive special treatment. The judge has concerns that there’s a public perception of bias against Trump, but no worries about the perception she’s biased toward him.

I made a comment in yesterday’s blog that the judge may appoint a Trump goon to be the Special Master… someone like Rudy Giuliani, the MyPillow fucker, or Tucker Carlson. Then I thought, that’s a cartoon and I better do it before another cartoonist reads my blog and steals it.

When the Special Master appoints a Republican to the post, expect her to do it with a straight face. Expect Trump to issue a “truth” stating he trusts the Special Master’s judgment. Expect Fox News to praise the appointment. Expect Kevin McCarthy to ejaculate praise all over Twitter for the appointment. When all that happens, that’s when you’ll know we’re fucked.

How can so many Trumpers and MAGAts scream without any evidence that the Justice Department is corrupt and has been politicized but not have any concerns that a Trump-appointed judge just paused an investigation into Donald Trump stealing classified documents and storing them in a Country Club?

With a straight face, these people are hypocrites.

Music note: I listened to the Fray and Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Special Master’s Master


A federal judge intervened yesterday in the case of Donald Trump stealing government documents, many of which are classified, and appointed an independent arbiter, known as a “Special Master,” to review the over 11,000 documents to determine which should be deemed attorney/client privilege and executive privilege.

On paper, this sounds fair. Golly gee wilikers, this will be an independent person who makes sure both sides are treated equally. But it’s not fair. It’s bullshit. This Special Master will choose what material the government can’t use to investigate Donald Trump.

As Sarah Marshall said in the film, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” “Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.”

Donald Trump waited two weeks after the FBI served a search warrant on his country club to find stolen government documents. After Trump’s request for a Special Master, the Department of Justice’s response included photos of classified documents (under covers) proving that at the very least, Trump possessed these documents and was obstructing justice by still having them.

How does Donald Trump’s inept lawyers win this ruling when it took them over two weeks to come up with the simple strategy of asking for a Special Master? Easy. They got an inept judge.

The Special Master isn’t needed in this case as most of the documents have already been analyzed. Now, the judge has ordered that none of the material can be used to investigate Trump until the Special Master has finished going over the 11,000 documents. You would think the Special Master would only need to go over documents between Trump and his lawyers, but no. The judge threw a huge wrench into this case.

DOJ can appeal this but that process may take longer than the Special Master’s review. Also, any appeal would be heard by a three-judge panel from the United States Court of Appeals for the 11th Circuit in Atlanta. Of its 11 active judges, six were appointed by… wait for it… Donald Trump. So, when three of its 11 judges go review an appeal to investigate Donald Trump, all three of them may be Trump appointees.

And, if DOJ won an appeal through a Trump-contaminated federal court, Trump could appeal to the Supreme Court, who may or may not take it, but you know they’d take it. There are three Trump appointees on that court along with Ginni Thomas’ husband. This is a bunch of Chancellor Palpatine shit. Mace Windu was right to try to cut his head off.

This judge in Palm Beach ruling in Trump’s favor said she had made her decisions to “ensure at least the appearance of fairness and integrity under the extraordinary circumstances,” while rejecting the Justice Department’s implicit argument that Trump be treated like any other investigative subject.

What would have really ensured the “appearance of fairness and integrity under the extraordinary circumstances” would have been if this Trump-appointed wingnut judge had recused herself. Is she married to Ginni Thomas too?

Trump is not being treated like any other investigative subject. Trump is being treated with privilege. He is literally asking for privileges.

So, who is this judge, Aileen Cannon? Surprise! She’s a Trump appointee.

She’s never served on any bench until she was placed on the Federal District Court for the Southern District of Florida AFTER Trump lost the election. Remember that Mitch McConnell bullshit in rejecting hearings for Merrick Garland in 2016, saying the voters needed a say? In this case, the voters rejected Trump and gave the Senate to the Democratic Party, but Mitch rushed more judges onto federal benches. In case you haven’t been paying attention, Republicans don’t give a flying fuck about the will of the people.

Did you know that since President William McKinley’s 1897 inauguration, Senates have confirmed only 15 nominees of defeated presidents? Here’s another fun fact: Of those 15, 14 were Trump nominees. Mitch McConnell rushed through 14 nominees to federal courts AFTER Trump lost and the people had chosen Joe Biden to be the next president. For fuckers who love to toss around words like “unprecedented,” this was fucking unprecedented.

And naturally, Judge Aileen Cannon is a member of the Federalist Society. This is some Stonecutter bullshit.

Now the question is: Who will Judge Cannon appoint as the Special Master? Donald Trump Jr? Rudy Giuliani? Sidney Powell? Tucker Carlson? The MyPillow Guy? Special Masters are often former judges. Maybe Judge Cannon will pick Judge Jeanine Pirro.

Trump, Mitch McConnell, Rupert Murdoch, and the Federalist Society have set our federal justice system back decades.

Music note: I listened to Foo Fighters.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: