Socialism

Giddy Up Socialism


cjones04012020

When I did a cartoon last week on Republicans and MAGAts now loving socialism, I asked the question, “How will they defend it?”

There are a lot of Republicans, libertarians, and Trump supporters who are mouthing that they’re not happy with the $2 trillion stimulus to float the economy through the coronavirus pandemic. I’m sure there are others who are unhappy with Donald Trump, after great pressure from the nation’s governors, activating the Defense Production Act and forcing General Motors to make ventilators, which I’m sure will be arriving in hospitals by December (Right now, GM is asking: How do we make ventilators? Also, What’s a ventilator?)

I commend those conservatives for at least sounding consistent because when I say they’re “mouthing” their disapproval with the stimulus, I mean that’s all they’re going to do. Because guess what they’re going to do when they get those checks?

If the checks go straight into their banks through direct deposit, they’ll probably argue that it’s a hassle to return it. If checks arrive in the mail, they’ll cash them. What will they purchase? Probably guns and beer.

I quickly discovered the answer to the question I asked last week. How will conservatives defend Republican socialism? I’ve heard them argue that it’s not socialism when it helps people who work for a living. I’ve heard it’s not socialism because it’s helping “real Americans” and “Patriots.” I’ve heard it can’t be socialism if Donald Trump supports it. And I’ve heard, it’s not socialism because we’re in a national emergency. It’s a crisis.

But the socialism Bernie Sanders proposes, democratic socialism, is designed to help people in emergencies. It’s an emergency when you don’t have healthcare. It’s an emergency if you can’t pay your rent because your wage is too low. It’s an emergency that corporations are given huge tax breaks and don’t use it to invest in the economy. It’s an emergency when you can’t feed your kids. It’s an emergency when you can’t afford heat. It’s an emergency when you’re forced to pay ridiculous interest rates to get an education.

Donald Trump has said more than once that “America will never be a socialist country.” MAGAts love to compare Bernie’s socialism to Venezuela. Now, they’re watching Donald Trump nationalize an American corporation. Now, they’re all going to be cashing checks. from the government for work they didn’t do. America has always been a socialist country. They always argue against “free stuff,” but they’re the same fuckers who voted for a guy who promised a free wall.

How will Donald Trump run for reelection without complaining about socialism? Donald Trump is socialism.

I know the answer. They’ll say it’s not socialism when it helps white people.

Giddy up.

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MAGA Socialism


cjones03222020

Isn’t it funny that everything Republicans complain about turns around and bites them in the ass? Isn’t it funny that they don’t have any principles?

For decades, they proclaimed they were about family values and wouldn’t support any candidate who appeared unethical or messed around on his wife. Today, nope. In fact, many believe Donald Trump, who cheated on wife number 1 with wife number 2 and cheated on wife number 3 and has 5 kids with 3 different women, was sent by God. And maybe God did send Donald Trump but only because he was out of locusts. Frankly, I’d prefer the locusts. If anything locusts probably don’t cheat on their wives.

They used to talk a big game about cutting spending, but in all honesty, Republicans haven’t tried to cut spending or balance a budget since the 1950s.

Republicans always claimed they were better with foreign policy, more patriotic, and had more respect for our military. They were never any good with foreign policy. As for being more patriotic, they would rather deflect and ignore an attack on our democracy if it helps them steal shit. And the military? Today, they support a guy who feuds with Gold Star families, says POWs aren’t heroes, and resists giving money to veteran groups after holding fundraisers, conducted by his campaign, for them.

Republicans always want to reduce spending on welfare and make it as difficult as possible for poor families to receive government assistance. But since social welfare is the only welfare they complain about, it’s not really the spending they have an issue with. Spending on social welfare is about 1 percent of the federal budget. We spend double on corporate welfare and you never hear a Republican demand corporate executives pee in a cup. Hell, they never demand that corporations receiving government assistance don’t buy back their own stock or give executives six-figure salaries and million-dollar buyout options.

But maybe the one thing Republicans hate the most is socialism. It makes them so angry that they’re too upset to look up the difference between socialism and communism. Over the past few years, they claim that democratic socialism will turn us into Venezuela, ignoring that democratic socialist nations are more like Norway and Luxembourg. They argue that all Bernie Sanders wants to do is give everyone “free stuff,” ignoring the fact that they voted for an idiot who literally promised them a free wall.

Now, the Trump administration is trying to work out a plan to give corporations, small businesses, and everyday-working shmoes like me and you cash as quickly as possible. It’s like that J.G. Wentworth commercial and we need cash now, except we’re not in a bus with opera-singing Vikings because that’d be a great way to catch Covid-19 (great story though. “How’d you catch Covid-19?” “I was on a bus with opera-singing Vikings”). The plan, being designed mostly by Treasury Secretary Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin, will cost around a trillion dollars. Former White House Communications Director for 8 minutes Anthony Scaramucci says to really help everyone and to keep the economy from imploding like a Trump casino (my analogy, not his), the government will need a stimulus package of 3 trillion. He’s probably right.

I think there should be some huge conditions attached to these bailouts, especially for corporations. Maybe attach agreements that they don’t use the money to purchase their own stock and that millionaire executives need to take huge pay cuts. And how about no huge severance packages? On top of all that, make sure no bailouts to toilet paper companies because they are not hurting right now.

The reason I think the Mooch is correct is that Mitt Romney’s idea is to give every American $1,000 which seems to be where Fishmouth is going. That’s a great start. We could all use an extra thousand bucks, but for most people, that won’t even cover one month’s rent.

Andrew Yang, who ran for president in the Democratic primaries, wanted to give every American $1,000…a month. Now, it appears every Republican wants to be in the Yang Gang.

What I want to ask every Republican who loves the idea of this bailout and is praising Donald Trump for it is: Isn’t this socialism? Isn’t this free stuff? Won’t this turn us into Venezuela? Are you a fucking hypocrite?

I have an idea: Let’s only give to people who didn’t vote for Trump in 2016. Let’s make sure that everyone who ever complained on social media about socialism doesn’t get a check. They won’t mind because they’ve already told us that people who like Bernie’s ideas are lazy, socialism is bad, giving away “free stuff” is stupid, and they don’t want anything to do with it. If they really need to eat and they don’t have money, they can take their guns out in the woods and hunt for their food. They’re not lazy so it shouldn’t be a problem. They can just pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

Or, they can just return what the government gives them and ask that it go towards the wall they love so much and believe is already under construction.

That’s 62 million assholes we don’t have to worry about because they don’t want socialism and “free stuff.” We heard you and guess what. I’m not going to forget you said it.

What I’m looking forward to is the gaslighting they’re about to engage in. I’m excited to hear their reasoning that this isn’t socialism or “free stuff.” How will they explain it’s not welfare when they get it? This is going to be too good. If they can blame Obama for Trump’s disastrous response to the coronavirus pandemic, or that Trump was sent by God, then they can gaslight anything.

Normally, I’d tell Trump supporters they can go eat something else (shit. Bag of dicks. Etc.), but today, I’ll be helpful.

Hungry? Go eat your MAGA hats.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Kissy Cuddly Commies


cjones03032020

Maybe it’s just me, but if you identify yourself as a socialist in the United States and you want to be elected to the nation’s highest office, maybe don’t go around praising communist leaders.

Last Sunday during a 60 Minutes interview, Bernie Sanders praised the increase in literacy rates in Fidel Castro’s Cuba after his 1959 communist revolution. And while I understand his intention is that there’s something good to take away from that, and I think a lot of people are overreacting, I don’t understand why it’s a fixation for him and why now. Not a good time, Bernie. What’s next? Praise for Mussolini for getting the trains to run on time?

Bernie is a self-described socialist. He’s advancing ideas that are only radical in the United States like healthcare is a right. He’s campaigning on implementing policies that are successful in democratic socialist nations like Norway, Sweden, Iceland, Finland, Denmark, etc. Yet, all Republicans have been wailing on is that Bernie wants to turn us into Venezuela. Well, now Bernie has given them Cuba to add to the mix.

Sure. There are great things in Cuba, like healthcare and free education from preschool to doctorates. But it was implemented and rnn by a communist dictator who controlled the island from 1959 to 2008. There was no free press or speech. Travel from the nation was extremely limited. He made his nation a satellite of the Soviet Union. He helped instigate the Cuban missile crisis. He jailed thousands of dissidents and oversaw human-rights abuses which led to a large exodus of the nation’s citizens. The effect of Castro’s anti-imperialism and socialist-run system created an impoverished economy.

But you know who else established a very successful literacy program and provided free education to his citizens from cradle to grave? Saddam Hussein. Yet, nobody is talking about creating a government that mimics Iraq. No one is advocating for a system where everyone is literate but no one can operate a pencil because they criticized the leader and their hands were chopped off.

Bernie has made it clear he’s not praising authoritarianism. But in a way, he is. How about you just stop, Bernie? If Bernie Sanders is the nominee, he’s going to have a rough time winning Florida as it is without praising Fidel Castro (they rejected the extremely intelligent Andrew Gillum for a guy who made commercials where he’s building Lego walls with his baby). Bernie has pointed out that President Barack Obama also praised Cuba’s literacy rate under Castro, but there are a lot of Cuban Americans in South Florida who still have their knickers in a twist over him establishing diplomatic relations with the nation.

While I’m not happy with Bernie praising Castro, I’ll take that over Donald Trump, who has praised authoritarians over and over. And no, Trump isn’t praising their literacy programs as he’s not one who puts a lot of emphasis on reading or knowing stuff. Donald Trump is praising the practices that silence dissent and throws journalists out of high-rise buildings.

On North Korea, Trump said, “North Korea has tremendous economic potential like perhaps few other developing nations anywhere in the world.” Really, Donald? While Republicans are screaming that Democrats want to turn the United States into Venezuela, Donald Trump believes a one-man communist regime can create a “tremendous” economy. On Kim Jong Un, He said that they “fell in love.” At least Bernie hasn’t said he’s in love with Fidel Castro.

Donald Trump is currently seeking out Never Trumpers in his administration and purging those he deems disloyal. He defended the move by tweeting, “We want bad people out of our government!” Which is something a tyrant would say. That also leaves you with the kind of people with qualifications of the likes of an Ivanka Trump. So, with this purge, Trump is probably admiring that Kim Jong Un disposes of Never Kimmers with anti-aircraft guns and by having them ripped to shreds by dogs.

Let’s not forget that Kim Jong Un hasn’t just starved, brutalized, and tortured his own people, but he’s murdered American citizens. Kim Jong Un murdered American Otto Warmbier after torturing him and Donald Trump says Kim “feels bad about it.”

On Turkey’s president, who’s imprisoned journalists and dissidents, including a 16-year-old who insulted him and a Miss Turkey who shared a poem criticizing him. He jailed over 50,000 after a failed coup. He’s consolidated his powers to personally appoint or dismiss ministers, select judges, and rule by decree. Trump said, “It’s my honor to be with a friend of mine, somebody I’ve become very close to, in many respects, and he’s doing a very good job.” What kind of “respects” there, Trump? Are you going to start jailing people who write poems about you? Roses are red, violets are blue, Donald Trump is a racist fucking moron.

On China’s Xi Jinping, “President Xi, who is a strong man, I call him King, he said, ‘But I am not King, I am president.’ I said, ‘No, you’re president for life and therefore, you’re King.’ He said, ‘Huh. Huh.’ He liked that.” And then this one time…at band camp.

Donald Trump has had high praise for Philippines Rodrigo Duterte, especially in his war on drugs, which has involved that nation’s president personally dragging accused drug dealers in the street and murdering them. Duterte compared his killing of drug addicts, not dealers, with Hitler killing Jews. He said, “Hitler massacred three million Jews. Now, there is three million drug addicts. I’d be happy to slaughter them.” Fact check: Hitler killed over six million Jews, but Rodrigo probably didn’t have access to the type of education you’d find in Cuba. Rodrigo also said, “Just because you’re a journalist, you are not exempted from assassination if you’re a son of a bitch.” 72 journalists have been murdered in the Philippines since 1992.

This one is a little personal for me because, in 1997-98, I filled in for the legendary Corky Trinidad at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin, who was in exile from his home nation of the Philippines during Marcos’ reign. It was an education being friends with Corky who I am confident would be furious with Donald Trump’s praise for Duterte if he was alive today.

A couple days ago, a conservative cartoonist accused me of practicing an “intolerant liberal religion.” And he’s right. When it comes to conservative cartoonists and journalists worshipping at the feet of a man who calls the free press “enemy of the American people,” and he’s admiring men who murder members of the press, I’m very intolerant.

Then there’s Russia’s Putin. When it was pointed out that Putin has had dissidents and journalists jailed and murdered, Trump responded with, “What, you think we’re so nice?” After Putin won a sham election, Donald Trump called to congratulate him, even after his staffers told him and left notes “not to congratulate.” During his press conference in Helsinki with the Russian president, he took Putin’s side over American intelligence. He has mimicked Putin’s lies about the Soviet Union’s invasion of Afghanistan and Ukraine meddling in the 2016 election. Trump wants to reward Putin by placing Russia back into the G7, which they were removed from with President Obama’s insistence after their annexation of Crimea.

Donald Trump praised Putin while criticizing President Obama. Donald Trump has refused to ever criticize or say one thing negative about Vladimir Putin. Not even his height and he’s shorter than Michael Bloomberg. And throughout his praise of Putin, Trump has been feuding with our Democratic allies. It’s OK for Putin to poison people on foreign soil and to attack our elections, but our national security is being threatened by Canadian cheese.

No, I’m not super happy and giddy about Bernie Sanders praising Fidel Castro. But given the choice between the man who admires the education and healthcare of Cuba vs. the man who admires the murderous, and oppressive tactics of dictators and strongmen like Kim Jong Un, Rodrigo Duterte, Recep Erdogan, Xi Jinping, and Vladimir Putin, I’ll go with Bernie. And if nothing else, at least Bernie hasn’t described people marching with Nazis as “very fine people.”

I’d rather feel the Bern than feel the hate.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Grounded By Socialism


cjones03172019

A Boeing 737 Max 8 crashed in Ethiopia Sunday, killing eight Americans. On Tuesday, Trump tweeted, not to offer condolences to the victims and families, but to complain that “Airplanes are becoming far too complex to fly.”

Trump argued that “old and simpler is far better” than new technology being used in cockpits. He finished up by saying, “I don’t know about you, but I don’t want Albert Einstein to be my pilot. I want great flying professionals that are allowed to easily and quickly take control of a plane!”

I too wouldn’t want Einstein piloting a plane I’m in, because he’s dead. I really don’t want anyone unqualified and without experience at the helm of anything complex and dangerous where one mistake could kill thousands of people…like the presidency. Imagine having a pilot with hands too tiny, insecure that the former pilot was more popular and qualified, all while jacked up on Adderall.

Just like everything else in the world, we really don’t want Trump’s expertise on air travel. This is the guy who wanted his personal pilot of Trump Force One (yeah, that’s what they call it) to head the FAA. Currently, that position remains unfilled because, despite two years on the job, Trump hasn’t nominated anyone.

Sunday’s crash in Ethiopia was the second in five months of a Boeing 737 Max 8, the other being in Indonesia. It’s a newer aircraft and it’s very unusual for these things to go down. Tracking data and evidence from Sunday’s crash revealed parallels to the disaster five months ago in Indonesia. Pilots have been registering complaints about these planes for months.

While the rest of the world was grounding the 737, Trump and the FAA resisted. Trump was lobbied by the CEO of Boeing, Dennis Boeing (I’m assuming that’s his last name), who contributed $1 million to Trump’s inauguration (which is also under investigation because a lot of that money came from foreign sources, like Russians and disappeared).

Reportedly, Trump was resisting bipartisan calls to ground the planes because he was worried about Boeing’s stocks. He reversed course and shocked the FAA, as they thought they would make the announcement.

Boeing is an American company and the rest of the world is having a hard time trusting America right now. Nobody knows why. Ethiopia rejected requests from the U.S. for the black box from the wreckage and instead sent it to Europe to be examined.

Conservatives freaked out over the Green New Deal, claiming it would ban air travel. The Green New deal calls for building high-speed rail so air travel isn’t as necessary. But if you don’t want the big scary government sticking its nose in your business over using combustible engines, then would you want them telling you what type of Boeings you can fly in? The Green New Deal doesn’t call for taking any planes out of the sky, but Trump just did. Are we Venezuela now?

Why should we allow the government to take away our cheeseburgers while demanding how we get from point A to point B? Isn’t liberty being able to take a farting cow onto an airplane piloted by inflatable Otto from Airplane!

That is unless Otto gets that FAA job.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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New Love/Hate


cjones12092018

The only thing Republicans fear and hate more than a liberal old white woman is a young brown one.

The GOP has been bashing Hillary Clinton since 1992. They’ve gaslighted the nation to the point that most people who hate Clinton can’t state anything factual to hate her over. They’ve been at Nancy Pelosi since the Bush 43 era and argue she’s too old to be Speaker of the House, despite the fact their Senate Majority leader is only two years younger. Elizabeth Warren is a fairly new target for them, but they can’t go at her without exhibiting racism. I’ll give you one guess why they hate Maxine Waters.

Maybe they’re getting bored with the women listed above because they’ve recently taken to attacking Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who will be the youngest member in the history of the House of Representatives when she assumes office in January. Ocasio-Cortez defeated Democratic Caucus Chair Joe Crowley in a primary and will represent a district that covers parts of Queens and the Bronx.

Ocasio-Cortez has everything Republicans need to hate. First off, she’s a she. We know how Republicans feel about women. She’s a self-described Democratic-Socialist, which really freaks out people who equate that with Venezuela instead of Norway. She’s a millennial, and they hate people who resemble their constituency. Finally, she’s a minority, and…yeah. The future of America is going to be a lot browner than white and that scares the living daylights out of the GOP. They can’t gerrymander fast enough to prevent it.

With the way the GOP is trying to destroy her, you would think she was a major presidential contender or possessed the Donald Trump pee tape. A day doesn’t seem to go by without some GOP flunky going after her on Twitter or Fox News.

Ocasio-Cortez revealed her plight of being unemployed for three months before she takes office and being unable to afford an apartment in Washington. Fox News, which is made up of millionaires, mocked and derided her for lacking affordable housing options. They failed to notice that this problem truly makes her a representative of America. They also failed to mention that around 50 Republican congressmen sleep in their offices because they claim they can’t afford a D.C. apartment.

There was a scandal over her wearing nice clothes to her orientation at the capital, which was a brouhaha Washington hadn’t seen since Obama put mustard on a cheeseburger.

Fox News’ resident Nazi-sympathizer Laura Ingraham ran a segment on Ocasio-Cortez threatening our nation with healthcare.

An editor for Daily Caller, Virginia Kruta, attended an Ocasio-Cortez rally and was petrified that the crowd was eager for healthcare, an education, and a living wage being a human right and accepting that the government has a responsibility to provide them. She wrote, “They talk about things that everybody wants, especially, like, if you are a parent.”

The Right isn’t sure how to handle her because she’s good with social media, and she fights back. A Washington Examiner columnist deleted his tweet after attacking her wardrobe.

Sean Hannity ran a segment, trying to scare his audience, listing her agenda of Medicare for all, housing as a human right, federal jobs guarantee, gun control, criminal justice reform, and end to private prisons, abolishing ICE, immigration justice, solidarity with Puerto Rico, fighting Climate Change, clean up campaign finance, higher education for all, women’s rights, and support of LGBTQ. Is Hannity bashing her or creating her campaign ads?

What they’re really afraid of is that she understands struggling in this nation and that giving more of our money to billionaires isn’t going to help the majority. She has a voice, and she knows how to use it.

When Mike Huckabee falsely accused her in a tweet of comparing her election victory to the moon landing, she hit back with, “Leave the false statements to Sarah Huckabee. She’s much better at it.”

She used Twitter to point out that as a member of Congress, she gets to pick her health insurance plan, and as a waitress, she had to pay twice as more than as a member of Congress. She tweeted, “It’s frustrating that Congressmembers would deny other people affordability that they themselves enjoy.”

That’s the voice of reason and understanding that scares Republicans. Hopefully, in their fear and hysteria, they’ll keep pointing it out. If she’s kicking their asses at 29, imagine what she’s going to do after she gains some experience.

What should scare them most of all is that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is the future, and she’s not alone.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.