Social Distancing

MAGA Masks


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The Trump administration is now encouraging everyone to wear face masks. They don’t protect you as much as they protect other people, but it’s another step in getting rid of this virus so we can return to our normal lives.

Even though the scientists and doctors in his administration endorse masks, Donald Trump says he will not wear one. He said, “I don’t know, somehow sitting in the Oval Office behind that beautiful Resolute Desk, the great Resolute Desk, I think that wearing a face mask as I greet presidents, prime ministers, dictators, kings, queens — I don’t know, somehow I don’t see it for myself.”

First off, dictators? In the Oval Office? Behind the “beautiful” Resolute Desk? Donald Trump intends to host dictators in the Oval Office and his concern is that a mask would be inappropriate? Also, who’s coming over for a visit during this pandemic? I don’t see that happening.

Second, the slouching guy who doesn’t know how to wear a suit, or a tie, with 20 pounds of orange goop on his face, and with a bleached combover of a hair transplant so bad, it’s held together like his tie, with scotch tape, is afraid of how a face mask will affect his appearance.

And this is why it’s OK to make fun of Trump supporters. Yes, I’m often told we should respect their viewpoints and try to understand their anger and resentment. I understand their anger. They’re racists. While Hillary Clinton caught a lot of shit for disparaging them as “deplorables,” she was right. They’re racist. They’re stupid. They base their opinions on bullshit conspiracy theories. And, they support a lying conman reality TV host like Donald Trump who tapes his hair to his head. Pardon me, but I’m going to make fun of these people.

And while we’re told we should start wearing masks, we need to understand they don’t replace social distancing. We still need to keep that in effect…especially if you’re an old lady wearing a face mask walking up on me at the bank asking me to hand you something you could have picked up yourself. Sorry. I’m still really annoyed by that happening last week. She probably watches Fox News, but at least she’s aware of the pandemic.

While taking a walk a couple nights ago late at night, when I thought I wouldn’t run into anyone, I ran into someone. I kept six feet away, but he came to a corner just as I did. He said that he noticed I was doing the “social distance thing,” but I didn’t have to worry because he didn’t care. I don’t understand that. I asked, from at least six feet away, “What don’t you care about?” He said, “I’m not worried about no virus so you’re good with me.”

From his logic, since he believes it’s a hoax, I don’t have to keep six feet from him. I can tell he watches a lot of Fox News. So if he doesn’t care or believe in the pandemic, then I can’t catch covid-19 from him? That must be the same Donald Trump rule where if you’re in a photo with someone who tests positive for covid-19, then you can’t catch it if you don’t see the photo.

This guy was a Trump supporter. I didn’t ask and he didn’t say, but yeah. He had it written all over him. Am I stereotyping? Yes, but he was a Trump supporter. He was an older guy walking to a convenience store on a beer run with a grey ponytail that went to the back of his knees. He was a Trump supporter. Plus, as he left he said, “Watch out for N-words.” And, he didn’t say “N-words.”

So, yeah. I can make fun of Trump supporters. I’m very comfortable lumping them all in together. If you’re a Trump supporter and you want me to stop throwing you in with racists and morons, then you gotta stop supporting a racist moron. You gotta stop supporting Donald Trump.

It’s OK to make fun of all Trump supporters, especially if they’re going to get us all killed. When this pandemic is over, I encourage you to continue your social distancing from Trump supporters.

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Don’t Stand So Close To Me


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Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

It really boggled my mind Saturday that Mike Pence was on a podium with the President (sic) of the United States, along with a dozen other people, including Dr. Anthony Fauci, sharing a microphone, and announcing he would be getting a test for coronavirus later in the day.

A staffer in Pence’s office has tested positive, so Pence and his wife Karen were to be tested also. Fortunately, the tests came back negative and I’m honestly glad about that. But why weren’t they in isolation beforehand? Or at the very least, not mouth breathing all over a microphone to be shared by other people, like the President (sic) of the United States? In case you didn’t notice or see yesterday’s briefing, they weren’t standing six feet apart from each other.

If this keeps up, one of those people on the podium is going to test positive. I guarantee it.

Now, I don’t wish anyone to contract covid19, even sleazy, grifting, lying, cheating, racist Republicans. I don’t even wish Donald Trump to catch it. It’s bad karma. It’s like being the only Senator to vote against emergency funding to deal with the virus, then catching the virus. That’s exactly what happened to Rand Paul. Are you surprised?

Rand Paul is an asshole. He’s a huge asshole. While he may not be as widely disliked as Ted Cruz, he’s a bigger asshole. He once got beat up, breaking six of his ribs, by a five-foot-six, 140-pound neighbor in a gated community over lawn care.

Rand Paul voted against free testing for the coronavirus, then had to get a test himself, which I’m sure was free. While waiting for his test results, he went to the Senate gym, the Senate pool (probably peed in it for good measure), and held meetings with other Senators. Did I mention Rand Paul is an asshole? Rand Paul is the kind of person who would have unprotected sex with someone while waiting for the results of a chlamydia test (he found someone to have sex with because this is hypothetical. Calm down).

I want the government to be open and transparent. Have you heard New York Governor Andrew Cuomo’s daily briefings? He has been blunt, upfront, and honest over this. He said if anyone doesn’t like the measures his state is taking during this pandemic, then to blame him. By contrast, Donald Trump said he doesn’t take any responsibility for the federal government’s missteps and slow response. In fact, he’s lied constantly.

The White House cut off the daily press briefings. Now, they’re back on but I kinda wish they’d stop again. Why? Because everything Donald Trump says needs to be clarified or corrected. Plus, it’s bad for the economy. The stock market crashes every time Trump says something. Could we do these briefings without Trump? In comparison, even Mike Pence seems more forthright and able to manage this pandemic. Don’t bash me for that. I said “even” Mike Pence.

The best way to get through this pandemic and to end it is to self-isolate. Not everyone can do it, but you’ll be better off by staying in a room all by yourself without any human contact.

I think another great way to get us all through this would be to isolate Donald Trump in a room by himself for 16 days. Preferably, the room will be padded.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.