Snoopy

I Got A Rock

Cjones10222021

So, you may have heard of this supply chain crisis. You may have noticed it yourself while out shopping for a Jason Voorhees Halloween mask and not finding one. You may have noticed shelves in stores bare of any Halloween candy other than candy corn. You may have seen footage on the news of cargo ships backed up in harbors and shipping ports. You may have heard someone on Fox News or a meme-making moron blame President Joe Biden even though it’s a global issue. So, what’s happening and why is it happening?

First off, it is a global thing. It’s not just happening here in the United States. Also, it’s not new. Sure, it’s the first you think you’re hearing of it but just because you’re just now hearing about it (think of that as first-world privilege) doesn’t mean it hasn’t been happening.

But you have heard about it. Do you remember way back so long ago in early 2020? Do you remember when you couldn’t find toilet paper and you had to wipe with paper towels until you ran out of paper towels? You couldn’t find hand sanitizer or face masks either. That was a supply-chain issue. Do you remember who was president then? You do? Good. So, why is this supply-chain issue now President Biden’s fault but the supply-chain issue of 2020 wasn’t President (sic) Trump’s fault?

A lot of the goods are being made. They exist. They’re out there. They’re out there in the ocean on boats with each waiting its turn to dock and be unloaded. The ports of Los Angeles and Long Beach (I’ve been there to picked up a Hyundai I shipped from Honolulu, and the crew left garbage in it and the interior smelled like hobo sex) processes 40 percent of all imported goods. In case you’re a Republican, “import” means it’s coming in. “Export” means it’s going out. Right now, the flow of imports has overloaded the ports’ capacity to unload it.

This all began with the pandemics with factories and shipping shut down and cut off in China, Vietnam, and other places where children work for a nickel a day. China’s shutdown of one major port led to others being shut down. Now, there’s even a shortage of shipping containers. You may have heard some smartass say that American-made products don’t get stuck in a harbor…well, the shipping container thing has complicated issues for U.S. agriculture too. Remember when I explained that import-export thing? Yeah, well we export produce, genius.

And (this part may freak you out), there’s a semiconductor shortage which means a lot of computer parts aren’t going out. This affects everything from cars to computer to smart TVs to your smart phone. Apple is cutting back iPhone 13 production by ten million. Maybe Christmas is screwed, if you’ve only been mouthing the Jesus part of it when all along it’s always been about getting stuff. This supply-chain crisis going to make great fodder for the War-on-Christmas mouthbreathers.

Simply put, the entire thing began when you could not go out during the pandemic. Remember how you couldn’t go out to a nice restaurant for a fine meal? Remember when you couldn’t go to the movies and buy $12.00 popcorn? Remember when you couldn’t go on a vacation and contract some tropical disease or hurl over the side of a cruise ship? Remember when you couldn’t go to a nasty bar and pick up some strange? Remember when you stayed home sitting on your ass at your computer and kept ordering shit from Amazon? That’s why you can’t get nothing now.

The supply-chain crisis is because we buy a lot of shit. We bought more stuff during the pandemic. Those stimulus checks helped. Who got through the pandemic without buying an air fryer? Well, I did but only because those things are huge and I live in a studio apartment. But I did buy a blender I’ve only used twice, a cast-iron skillet, another frying pan, a toaster, a cutting board, some nice knives, quite a few mixing bowls, one of those things you put an egg in and nuke to make your own McMuffin, and a wok…but no air fryer (in my defense, I also had just moved here and didn’t have any kitchen stuff other than a few plates, bowls, and silverware). I also gained about 30 pounds. I’m blaming that on the pandemic too.

The economy has been growing but this shortage will hurt it. A business can’t stay in business if it doesn’t have anything to sell. But we will get through this. I have a prediction: After Christmas, no one’s going to be talking about it anymore. In six months, you won’t remember it. MAGAts have already forgotten it started in 2020.

Note: When I was about 12 or so, I was a bit of a prankster. I know. Shocking. During this time of my adolescence, I wrapped a few small rocks in tinfoil and mixed them in with our Halloween candy and didn’t tell my mother. She unknowingly handed out a lot of rocks to trick-r-treaters and then wondered the next day why our house and car were egged and TP’ed. A few days later while going through the leftover candy, she discovered a tinfoil rock and put two-and-two together…long story short, I got in trouble. Kids hate getting rocks on Halloween almost as much as they hate getting candy corn.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are TWO copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Brute Of Belarus

Cjones05292021

Alexander Lukashenko is Europe’s last dictator. He’s been president of Belarus (in case you’re a Republican, that’s in Europe) since 1994. Instead of having free elections, his nation has the the kind of strongman system favored by Donald Trump, Republicans, and MAGA terrorists. Belarus is a former Soviet satellite nation, yet maintains Soviet symbolism. Lukashenko may be hornier for Russia than Donald Trump and Republicans are.

Belarus also does not have a free press or the rights to oppose the president’s administration. Belarus is very much a wet dream for Donald Trump. Sorry if you were eating lunch when you read “Trump” with “wet dream.”

Over the weekend, Roman Protasevich, a high-profile opposition journalist to Lukashenko’s administration, was flying to Lithuania from Greece (which is also in Europe, Republicans). Unfortunately for the dissident who’s been living in exile since 2019, the flight went over Belarusian airspace. Even as the tray tables were being ordered back into the upright positions and the seat belt sign was on in preparation for the landing in Lithuania (in case you’re a Republican, that’s another country in Europe), the plane was forced to turn around.

A Belarusian fighter jet approached the jetliner and informed it there was a bomb threat on board. That was a lie. They ordered the plane to fly to Minsk (in case you’re a Republican, is in Belarus), even though its scheduled destination was actually closer. After the plane landed, five of the 126 passengers were detained. One of those was Protasevich. The other was his girlfriend (in case you’re a Republican, a girlfriend is a girl…you know, those things whose bodies you want to legislate but you yourselves can’t touch).

Passengers on the flight later told the media, not in Belarus, that Roman Protasevich was terrified throughout the entire ordeal, and thought the plane being ordered to turn around and land in Belarus was about all him. Sheesh, paranoid much? But as Kurt Cobain sang, “Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re not after you.” They were after Protasevich.

Last year, Protasevich created a Telegram account that helped organize a protest against Lukashenko. Telegram is a social media app, like TikTok and Instragram, that’s popular in Europe and with Russian hookers who’ll pee on you in a Moscow hotel room for a fair price. After the mass protests, Protasevich was classified as a terrorist by the KBG. Those are the initials for Belarus’ secret intelligence agency. I told you they were horny for Soviets. Here’s a fun fact: In Belarus, only about 10 percent of the population speak Belarusian. The majority of Belarusians speak Russian.

After being captured and kidnapped, Protasevich appeared in a state-TV video explaining he had been a bad boy and is now cooperating with investigations into the protests he helped organize. He appears in the video with bruises on his face and perhaps even a broken nose. It’s reminiscent of those propaganda videos Saddam Hussein released of visibly-beaten captured UK and U.S. pilots where they confessed to committing crimes against Iraq and how their own governments were evil.

The European Union is protesting, working to prevent all air traffic in the continent from flying over Belarus, and preventing Belarusian aircraft from landing in other European nations. It sounds like Lukashenko is boxed in, but he’s not. He has one person on his side.

I’ll give you two guesses who that person is: Donald Trump took his side over U.S. intelligence and his name rhymes with “Schmootin.” In case you’re a Republican, it’s Putin.

We need to support the E.U. in this fight. Democracy is important everywhere. You can’t have a democracy without the right to protest. You don’t have the right to protest without a free press. It’s important to fight for this in other nations because there are too many people in this country who wants to kill our democracy.

There are people in this nation who want laws forbidding the press from criticizing their cult leader. Those people deny an election happened. Those people lie about democracy and accuse others of election fraud. Those people are changing election laws based on lies about election fraud. Those people attacked the Capitol Complex in Washington, D.C. trying to overturn an election. There are people in Congress who support those terrorists and don’t want their attack investigated. Before they attacked, their cult leader held a rally and encouraged them to go the Capitol and overturn the election.

The people who still support Trump, his terrorists, and his lies, want us to be more like Belarus. Belarus is a horrible place. It’s probably worse than Indiana. Don’t go to Belarus.

Democracy should be supported. We should have a free press, even when the press reports things you don’t want to hear. We should have the right to protest, even if protesters say thing you don’t want to hear. We should have legitimate elections where everyone eligible is allowed to vote, even if they don’t vote for whom you want to win. This is what’s so difficult for Republicans to understand. You don’t just support democracy until it doesn’t give you the results you wanted. You don’t just support democracy when it’s convenient for you. It’s not just about you.

If Donald Trump and his MAGA goons have their way, they’ll adopt a little Belarusian and tell us, “навошта закопваць галаву ў пясок, калі замест гэтага можна было« схавацца ў бульбу?”

In English, that’s “why ‘bury your head in the sand’ when you could ‘hide in potatoes’ instead?”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

The Great Trumpkin

I came up with this idea last week when It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown was shown on TV again, the same night as the last debate. I had about twelve other things on the table at the time so I let it slide. Now I just wanted to do draw it. It wouldn’t surprise me if someone else has already done a variation of it, but I haven’t seen it.

This is the second time in less than a week I’ve drawn a character from Peanuts. Sorry, Charlie. I plan to draw another cartoon later tonight (my regular schedule) so this is a quick one. It only took me an hour and a half to draw.

I love Peanuts. I just need to meet a girl who loves Snoopy, the Cubs, and Nirvana and I’ll be set.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Hard Luck Beagle

I know this is simple and pretty easy but it gets me away from the campaign for a minute. Also, I really like Snoopy and Beagles.

We’ll return to our normal insanity shortly.

Who’s Beagle?

Stafford SPCA lost a court case this week and had to return a Beagle to their owners. The owners didn’t have paperwork but they provided DNA. There’s no mention in the story of how the owners provided the dog’s DNA. But since I own a Beagle, you’re probably wearing Beagle hair on your person every single day.

claytoonz

Nationally Syndicated Editorial Cartoonist