So, you may have heard of this supply chain crisis. You may have noticed it yourself while out shopping for a Jason Voorhees Halloween mask and not finding one. You may have noticed shelves in stores bare of any Halloween candy other than candy corn. You may have seen footage on the news of cargo ships backed up in harbors and shipping ports. You may have heard someone on Fox News or a meme-making moron blame President Joe Biden even though it’s a global issue. So, what’s happening and why is it happening?
First off, it is a global thing. It’s not just happening here in the United States. Also, it’s not new. Sure, it’s the first you think you’re hearing of it but just because you’re just now hearing about it (think of that as first-world privilege) doesn’t mean it hasn’t been happening.
But you have heard about it. Do you remember way back so long ago in early 2020? Do you remember when you couldn’t find toilet paper and you had to wipe with paper towels until you ran out of paper towels? You couldn’t find hand sanitizer or face masks either. That was a supply-chain issue. Do you remember who was president then? You do? Good. So, why is this supply-chain issue now President Biden’s fault but the supply-chain issue of 2020 wasn’t President (sic) Trump’s fault?
A lot of the goods are being made. They exist. They’re out there. They’re out there in the ocean on boats with each waiting its turn to dock and be unloaded. The ports of Los Angeles and Long Beach (I’ve been there to picked up a Hyundai I shipped from Honolulu, and the crew left garbage in it and the interior smelled like hobo sex) processes 40 percent of all imported goods. In case you’re a Republican, “import” means it’s coming in. “Export” means it’s going out. Right now, the flow of imports has overloaded the ports’ capacity to unload it.
This all began with the pandemics with factories and shipping shut down and cut off in China, Vietnam, and other places where children work for a nickel a day. China’s shutdown of one major port led to others being shut down. Now, there’s even a shortage of shipping containers. You may have heard some smartass say that American-made products don’t get stuck in a harbor…well, the shipping container thing has complicated issues for U.S. agriculture too. Remember when I explained that import-export thing? Yeah, well we export produce, genius.
And (this part may freak you out), there’s a semiconductor shortage which means a lot of computer parts aren’t going out. This affects everything from cars to computer to smart TVs to your smart phone. Apple is cutting back iPhone 13 production by ten million. Maybe Christmas is screwed, if you’ve only been mouthing the Jesus part of it when all along it’s always been about getting stuff. This supply-chain crisis going to make great fodder for the War-on-Christmas mouthbreathers.
Simply put, the entire thing began when you could not go out during the pandemic. Remember how you couldn’t go out to a nice restaurant for a fine meal? Remember when you couldn’t go to the movies and buy $12.00 popcorn? Remember when you couldn’t go on a vacation and contract some tropical disease or hurl over the side of a cruise ship? Remember when you couldn’t go to a nasty bar and pick up some strange? Remember when you stayed home sitting on your ass at your computer and kept ordering shit from Amazon? That’s why you can’t get nothing now.
The supply-chain crisis is because we buy a lot of shit. We bought more stuff during the pandemic. Those stimulus checks helped. Who got through the pandemic without buying an air fryer? Well, I did but only because those things are huge and I live in a studio apartment. But I did buy a blender I’ve only used twice, a cast-iron skillet, another frying pan, a toaster, a cutting board, some nice knives, quite a few mixing bowls, one of those things you put an egg in and nuke to make your own McMuffin, and a wok…but no air fryer (in my defense, I also had just moved here and didn’t have any kitchen stuff other than a few plates, bowls, and silverware). I also gained about 30 pounds. I’m blaming that on the pandemic too.
The economy has been growing but this shortage will hurt it. A business can’t stay in business if it doesn’t have anything to sell. But we will get through this. I have a prediction: After Christmas, no one’s going to be talking about it anymore. In six months, you won’t remember it. MAGAts have already forgotten it started in 2020.
Note: When I was about 12 or so, I was a bit of a prankster. I know. Shocking. During this time of my adolescence, I wrapped a few small rocks in tinfoil and mixed them in with our Halloween candy and didn’t tell my mother. She unknowingly handed out a lot of rocks to trick-r-treaters and then wondered the next day why our house and car were egged and TP’ed. A few days later while going through the leftover candy, she discovered a tinfoil rock and put two-and-two together…long story short, I got in trouble. Kids hate getting rocks on Halloween almost as much as they hate getting candy corn.
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