I love that people who identify themselves as Constitutionalists don’t know shit fuck about the Constitution.

Usually, when a “Constitutionalist” screams about the Constitution and the rights it guarantees, it is really only talking about one Amendment, and that’s the Second. In case you don’t know what that Amendment guarantees, ask a “Constitutionalist.” The other thing I love about “Constitutionalists” is that they’ll tell you only part of what’s in the Second Amendment. Not only will they NOT tell you what the entire Amendment says, but when they tell you the part, “the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed,” they won’t even tell you the entire sentence.

What does the rest of that sentence say? It says, “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State…” and then it gives you, ” the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

When you talk to a “Constitutionalist,” especially the white male Christian ones, they believe they’re all infringed. They’re the most infringed people in world history.

The other thing I love about these wingnuts is that they don’t know history and they don’t know civics. Take Fox News fucknut Steve Doocy as an example. This asstwat goes on national TV every weekday morning, talks about the Constitution, and doesn’t know dick for shit what he’s talking about.

While introducing measures to curb gun violence, President Joe Biden said, “No amendment to the Constitution is absolute.” With that, conservatives lost their minds.

How dare the president say something so factual and historically accurate!!! How dare he know what he’s talking about!!!

Spoiler alert: None of the Amendments to the United States Constitution are absolute. They are not set in stone. The Constitution is a living document, as in it can be changed. But don’t take my word for it. I’m just a cartoonist. Let’s take Thomas Jefferson’s word.

Jefferson said, “I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions, but laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors.”

Here’s your first history lesson for the day, conservatives: Thomas Jefferson was one of the framers of the Constitution. Ouch. That one stings. Walk it off. It’s about to get worse.

Steve Doocy, who is NOT Thomas Jefferson, went off the rails on his morning show for numbnuts. Doocy said, “The part that is really shocking is where the President just said no amendment to the Constitution is absolute. He’s talking about the Second Amendment, which he does not regard as, you know, giving everybody the right to do whatever they want to with guns, we know that we know his talking point.” It’s nice that he believes the Second Amendment gives everyone the right to do whatever they want with guns.

When talking about the Constitution, would you rather take the word from a guy named Jefferson or a turd named Doocy? I’d listen to George Jefferson before I’d listen to Steve Doocy.

This is where Doocy displays his ignorance. He rhetorically asked, “But what about if no Amendment is absolute? What about how does he feel about the First Amendment? How does he feel about the freedom of religion, how does he feel about freedom of speech?” I say he asked “rhetorically” because he ignored that Biden gave a civics and history lesson in his speech.

President Biden said, “You can’t yell ‘fire’ in a crowded movie theater and call it freedom of speech. From the very beginning, you couldn’t own any weapon you wanted to own. From the very beginning that the Second Amendment existed, certain people weren’t allowed to have weapons. So the idea is just bizarre to suggest that some of the things we’re recommending are contrary to the Constitution.”

The First Amendment gives you the freedom of speech, but it doesn’t give you the freedom to say anything you want. Courts have ruled you don’t have the right to libel someone. You don’t have the right to speak and cause a panic or a riot. I can call Steve Doocy a butt muncher but I can’t make a public claim that he literally munches on butts.

As Jefferson said, ” We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors.” Jefferson probably anticipated slavery would eventually be outlawed…and banning it would become a Constitutional amendment. See? We outgrew out childish pants and outgrew the regimen of our “barbarous ancestors.” And the Constitution changed from the first ten amendments our founding fathers created, and written by James Madison, which is the Bill of Rights. Also, Madison was another slave owner, but you know what he didn’t own? A fucking AR-15.

We have added 27 amendments to the Constitution. We’ve added stuff like allowing women to vote, banning slavery, electing the president and vice-president on the same ticket, electing senators by popular vote, and banning the sale of alcohol. Wait. Selling and buying alcohol is legal today. If amendments to the Constitution are absolute, then why is the sale of alcohol legal? Because Amendments…wait for it….ARE NOT ABSOLUTE.

In 1919, the 18th Amendment was ratified by the required number of states and added to the United States Constitution. This Amendment made the sale and purchase of alcohol illegal in the United States. There were no exceptions. Being that this nation does like to drink and the government couldn’t stop people from drinking, or the organized crime from it, the Amendment was repealed 24 years later. And this was done without a serious liquor lobby behind it.

In 1933, the required numbers of states said, “Get the fuck out of here,” to the 18th Amendment and the 21st was born, which repealed the 18th. On a side note, I still think it’s funny that marijuana is federally outlawed and there’s nothing in the Constitution about it. We need a weed Amendment because alcohol is much worse than weed.

We have only changed one Amendment but that proves no Amendment is absolute. What will it take to repeal an Amendment?

To change the Constitution, Congress has to call a Constitutional Convention for proposing amendments upon application of the legislatures of two-thirds of the states. That means 34 states have to agree to the convention, to even discuss it. Then, any Amendments proposed by Congress or the Convention only becomes valid when three-fourths of states’ legislatures or state conventions ratify the proposed Amendment. It would take 38 states to add a new Amendment to the Constitution.

Now it’s my turn to ask a rhetorical question: Can we get 38 states to do anything to change the Second Amendment? Hell no. We’ll never get Congress to even propose such a change.

But no Amendment is absolute. We can fight for change in courts. The Second Amendment doesn’t give you the right to own a semi-automatic rifle or unlimited ammunition.

Don’t act like President Joe Biden doesn’t know what he’s talking about when he says, “No Amendment to the Constitution is absolute,” because he’s right. You may not like that he wants to change gun laws, but don’t act like he’s the one who doesn’t know his shit. When you do, you only prove you’re an idiot.

The Constitution is not infallible. It was written by slave owners. Our first five presidents were slave owners with a total of 12 presidents owning slaves. These are men who wrote, “All men are created equal” who also held slaves and didn’t believe women should have the right to vote. We can’t live by the standards of our “barbarous ancestors” who wrote the Constitution in 1787.

It’s time to move on and stop living by standards that was the norm 233 years ago. I can drink to that.

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