RNCinCle

Republican Boogas


cjones07252016

Damn I drew a lot of cartoons this week. I’m three days ahead of schedule with my syndication. Thank god this convention is over and after I draw cartoons on Hillary’s veep pick and Roger Ailes’ horniness, I can take a nap….oh wait. There’s another convention next week. Didn’t they used to take a month between these things?

The Republican convention started with hate, continued with hate, and ended with hate. Donald Trump started his speech by “humbly” accepting his party’s nomination. He gave the longest speech ever for a Republican nominee. He read it off a teleprompter. He read it very slowly. David Duke tweeted out how much he loved it.

High points for his speech includes he didn’t once refer to Hillary Clinton as “Crooked Hillary.” When he talked about banning immigrants, he didn’t mention them being Muslim immigrants. When he talked about the wall he left out the part about Mexico paying for it. When he got one protester during the speech, he didn’t veer off the script to tell the audience to beat her up.

The biggest plus for his speech is when he said we needed to protect LGBTQ from Muslim terrorists. He didn’t mention protecting them from his vice presidential pick, but it’s a start. The Republican audience actually cheered for this and he thanked them.

The rest of the speech was doom and gloom. Basically America is Gotham City run amock with criminals and gangsters and Donald Trump is the only billionaire caped crusader who can save us. We should have a Trump signal. It should look like the lips I give him in every cartoon. What do you think, yes? Though thinking about it, that image high above in the clouds above all of us could make the entire nation crap itself.

Two questions coming out of this convention: Will he get a bounce in the polls? You would think not since the entire thing was one big discombobulated dumpster fire full of hate, vinegar, and cat piss, but a lot of Americans may buy into the fear thing.

The other question is: Will Hillary try to kill his momentum Friday or Saturday by announcing her pick (Tim Kaine) as her veep? I’m not sure she should try to distract from his convention with it being the lukewarm Nazi rally that it was. Let it sink in for a day.

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Trump-Cruz Photo Op


cjones07242016

Ted Cruz spoke at the GOP convention and was loudly booed by the Trump supporters. He refused to endorse Trump. When he spoke of people voting their conscience, many took it as him saying don’t vote for Trump. But these are Republicans. Earlier in the week they booed the rock band Third Eye Blind when the lead singer mentioned science. They booed science.

Many people believe Ted Cruz exhibited a conscience, morals, and ethics. He signed a pledge to support the eventual GOP candidate and today he refuses, reminding us that Trump insulted his wife and accused his father of having a hand in the assassination of JFK.

Ted Cruz doesn’t have morals, class, ethics or anything resembling a conscience. He’s opportunistic. Only the most hideously, vulgar type of people could ever support Ted Cruz for president, U.S. Senate, or even dog catcher. Seriously, would you want this guy around your dog? I didn’t think so.

Cruz broke a pledge. His excuse is that Donald Trump attacked his family. Donald Trump was a horrible leech on humanity before he insulted Cruz’s family and Cruz was just fine with that. He was sucking up to Trump before the insults to his family. He was fine with him insulting women, Mexicans, Muslims, Megyn Kelly, Hillary Clinton, Rosie O’Donnell, John McCain, and even Cruz’s eventual pick for his vice president (proving again that Cruz is a jackass), Carly Fiorina.

Yes, it was classless of Trump to enter the hall during Cruz’s speech. Trump has appeared every night as if we needed to be reminded what a narcissist he is. But that classless move was during another classless move.

Cruz’s wife, Heidi, had to be escorted out by security after the speech. Cruz supporters were upset over this, forgetting that Republicans have been amoral Rethuglicans over the past eight years…you know, ever since we made a black guy president.

Did Cruz build his profile for another presidential run in 2020? Maybe, but it’s also likely he committed political suicide in an attempt to destroy Trump along with himself.

If he really, really, really wanted to hurt Donald Trump, he would not only have endorsed him, but joined his ticket as the vice presidential nominee. That would sink faster than a bag of cats tied to a cinder block.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Trump’s Little Pony


cjones07232016

Trump strategist and noted idiot Sean Spicer went on CNN and MSNBC to defend Melania’s plagiarism by saying some content of her speech is similar to “My Little Pony.” Plagiarism is magic! After spending a day and a half denying any similarities between Melania’s and Michelle Obama’s speeches, and blaming Hillary Clinton (yes….blaming Hillary Clinton), the Trump campaign offered a head on a platter.

Meredith McIver (not “MacGyver”), the writer of the tainted speech, said Melania admires Michelle Obama and quoted parts of her speech to McIver over the phone. McIver, who claims she never looked at Obama’s speech, said that she took notes and included them in the speech. I gotta say, she takes very good notes since she got it word for word. Also, since Melania was such a big admirer of Michelle Obama (which is uncomfortable for Republicans), and read those lines to the writer, why didn’t she recognize them when she read them later in her speech? If I tell you I love Nirvana and you come back with a speech that includes “a mulatto, an albino
a mosquito, my libido,” I’m gonna notice some similarities.

I suppose we’re now required to forget that Melania took total credit for her speech beforehand. But then again, this very intelligent self-made woman who married a billionaire has it in her bio that she graduated from college, when she’s in fact a drop out. Nothing wrong with that. I’m a college dropout but I don’t lie about degrees I don’t have on resumes.

Republicans state she’s not stupid because she’s fluent in five languages. Really? Have you heard Melania speak five languages? I know what “hasta la vista” and “por favor” mean, but that doesn’t make me fluent in Spanish.

So far at this convention we’ve had a pastor describe Democrats as the enemy, a speaker who’s a member of American Muslims For Trump (and he’s probably the only member), speakers yelling for prison time for Hillary, Ben Carson accusing Hillary of having a devil worshiper as her hero, Congressman Steve King saying white people have contributed more to civilization than any other race, and a Trump adviser saying Hillary Clinton should be shot.

Republicans are selling merchandise at the convention calling Clinton a “bitch,” and mentioning her body parts. You had Chachi tweeting out a very vulgar comment about Clinton.

Only 18 of the 4,472 delegates are black. They’ve had more minority speakers than minorities in the audience. It’s really hard to engage in minority outreach while being the biggest bag of dicks in American history.

On top of all this, Laura Ingraham finished off her speech with a Heil Hitler salute. I’m still waiting for that one to be explained.

There’s been a lot of themes for this convention, but it’s been entirely based upon hate, vitriol, and vengeance.

This convention has been a total dumpster fire. I’m loving it!

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!