Reince Priebus

Reince, Rough Up, Repeat


I expect a future Trump cabinet meeting to be conducted like a gathering of Dr. Evil’s henchmen, where they’re all sitting at a table in his lair with one in the chair that sends him to a malfunctioning fire pit. Poor Reince Priebus didn’t even get the luxury of being taken out by a fembot unless you consider Anthony Scaramucci a mechanical bitch.

Donald Trump is rarely correct about anything, but he was right about Priebus. He’s weak. After “resigning” as White House Chief of Staff Friday, Priebus swore his loyalty to Trump and explained his departure as the administration needing “fresh people.” What, are they fruit? Do people go rancid after six months? Trust me. If you’re a candidate to work for Trump, you started off failing the smell test.

This is how Trump treats loyalty. He attacks you constantly, often publicly as he’s doing with Jeff Sessions, and then he sends one of his goombahs after you. In this case, Scaramucci.

Scaramucci publicly chastised Priebus, calling him a “paranoid schizophrenic paranoiac” while accusing him of leaking. Scaramucci described himself as a “front stabber” in contrast to Priebus, who he considers a backstabber. But isn’t bitching to a reporter about a colleague in what you think is an off-the-record interview a form of backstabbing?

Scaramucci also said Stephen Bannon was promoting his own brand off the president’s, and that Bannon was “sucking his own cock.” Scaramucci would never suck his own as he’s too busy working on the president’s. He loves the president. He loves the president. He loves the president. Did he mention that he loves the president? Yeah, once or twice. He’s even imitating Trump where Alec Baldwin might wanna take notes.

This entire administration is running like a third-rate mob. Officials in the administration went after Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski this week and threatened government programs in her state if she didn’t support the GOP’s health-care bill. When do they start breaking thumbs?

Priebus was interviewed by CNN’s Wolf Blitzer Friday afternoon, not just praising the president, but refusing to defend himself from The Mooch’s attacks. As Trump would describe it, weak. Instead of punishing the bully, Trump got rid of the victim. The bully is still there.

You can’t imagine anyone being treated this way who served in the Obama or Bush administrations. There’s always competition and backstabbing, but no public attacks encouraged by the president. But, Trump likes it when people get roughed up.

On Friday, the president of the United States endorsed police brutality. While speaking to law enforcement officials in Long Island, he diverted from praising himself in his speech to tell the cops they shouldn’t be concerned about hurting people while they’re being taken into custody. Trump told the cops, “please, don’t be too nice.” Being that they were cops, they wildly applauded the president’s endorsement of beating up suspects in their custody. What’s next for Trump? Endorsing planting evidence? Maybe Mark Fuhrman can replace Jeff Sessions.

After speaking to the police, the Suffolk County Police Department tweeted, “As a department, we do not and will not tolerate roughing up of prisoners.” It was the second time in the same week that a group Trump spoke to had to publicly distance themselves from the president. But, just as the Boy Scouts cheered Trump’s attacks on the media, Obama, and Hillary Clinton, the police in attendance applauded roughing up prisoners.

Trump’s fine with people being physically assaulted, grabbed by the vagina, thrown under the bus, trashed in public, and ridiculed and humiliated by the president of the United States. The only rough treatment Trump can’t tolerate is when someone questions his crowd size or disses Ivanka’s shoes.

This week has been described by many in the media as the worst week in the Trump presidency. They have a point as Trump lost his health-care bill, his new Communications Director publicly suffered the mouth trots, and his Chief of Staff resigned. But, saying this week is the worst yet is a bold statement as each of them has been a raging dumpster fire.

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Drain The Swamp


Donald Trump promised to “drain the swamp” and around 60 million Americans wanted the swamp drained so badly that they gave the presidency to a racist, xenophobic, sexually assaulting, doofus. Thanks, America.

So how does President-Elect Trump go about “draining the swamp?” He appoints the very creatures responsible for contaminating the swamp. He’s made Republican Party Chairman Reince Priebus his Chief of Staff. While it is a wise move to give that position to someone who knows Washington, he’s the very definition of insider.

Other names popping up for cabinet posts and important positions is Alabama Senator Jeff Sessions, who has been in Washington since 1996, John Bolton (not Michael Bolton, the homogenized R&B singer) who’s been in D.C. since 1974, Rudy Giuliani who can’t be called an outsider, and a literal Newt. Newt Gingrich will serve in some role and he’s been sludging up D.C. since 1979. This is not swamp draining.

There are a few outsiders who could end up with appointments that should scare the living life out of you. People such as Sarah Palin, former Arizona governor Jan Brewer, Kansas governor Sam Brownback who’s pretty much destroyed that state, Ben Carson, Joe Arpaio who was recently defeated as that racist sheriff in Arizona (he’s still racist), and David Clarke the very scary sheriff in Milwaukee.

In addition to all those terrible people he has his veep, Mike Pence, running his transition team and he’s relying on his children, Ivanka, Uday, and Qusay, to pitch in with whatever horrible suggestions they may have.

Another high profile appointment is Steve Bannon. While Trump rightfully asked his racist supporters to stop assaulting people, he went and appointed an anti-semitic racist as chief White House strategist. Bannon is the guy who changed Breitbart from a Right-Wing agenda driven fake news site to an anti-semitic, racist right-wing agenda driven fake news site.  If you ever want to check out the comments under the racist stories in Breitbart I suggest you do it before you shower. The site is a magnet for white supremacist. Just the kind of people wearing sheets and attacking minorities to celebrate Trump’s victory.

One of the most interesting things about Bannon is that he is very much in favor of draining the swamp. He’s been at war with Speaker of the House Paul Ryan and he’s basically a despicable human being nobody likes, except Donald Trump and white supremacist. They love that guy. In the future he’s going to devise “strategy” with people who he used to strategize to eliminate. Trump is replacing water moccasins and alligators with Swamp Thing.

Trump has always surrounded himself with gross people so it shouldn’t be any surprise his administration will be the ickiest ever. The only surprise so far is that we’re not hearing Ted Nugent or Gary Busey being considered for anything.

None of the people on Team Trump are the sort you’d even trust to watch your goldfish, less enough run the State Department. Have you ever overfed a goldfish? It’s not pretty. When my son was five he dumped an entire container of food into an aquarium. I’ll just describe it as “they do not stop eating.”

I don’t think these people will stop eating either. It’s going to be a very ridiculous four years.

Someone on Twitter asked me today how do I pick which idea to draw, since I must be having several a day since Trump was elected. I have been. I started one this morning on Hillary and Comey and I wasn’t feeling it, so I switched to the swamp idea. I might go back to the Hillary/Comey thing but there seems to be breaking news several times a day. Hopefully I can get a few non-Trump cartoons in at some point.

To answer that question: How do I pick the idea out of several? If you get several ideas a day not all of them will be good. I was talking to a fellow musician once who told me he wrote five songs a day. I thought “those have really gotta be some crappy songs.” And they were. Total crap. He’d play open mics and it was like an endless loop of Oasis’ “Wonderwall.” It didn’t help that the guy only knew three chords.

I try to pick the idea that sucks the least (and someone always thinks what I settled on sucks). I also try to pick the most important issue, the funniest idea, and sometimes the one that has the best chance at being published the most (which is really hard to predict).

And now I have “Wonderwall” stuck in my head. Crap.

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