Putin

Milk and Cookies for the PutinBunker

A reader sent me a cartoon idea this morning and it wasn’t bad. Thomas, a nice guy it seems, suggested I draw a cartoon of Edward Snowden being drafted by the Russian military now that President Vladimir Putin has granted him Russian citizenship. Not bad, Thomas. Of course, I’m not going to draw Thomas’ idea because I don’t use ideas that are not my own and…I predict at least two other cartoonists will draw it. In fact, my friend Quannah commented on this cartoon on Facebook predicting Snowden will be drafted.

Thomas was thinking like a political cartoonist, seeing Putin’s desperation as he’s losing the illegal war he started in Ukraine. Putin lied to justify his war but even if Nazis were running wild in Ukraine, that wouldn’t justify bombing schools and hospitals. It also doesn’t justify the sham vote occurring in Russian-occupied territories to become a part of Russia. I’m sure after all the results come in showing they do want to leave Ukraine and join Russia, Donald Trump will call and congratulate them.

Putin is desperate and has ordered a draft he claims is only a “partial mobilization.” In a national address, he said, “We are talking about partial mobilization. In other words, only military reservists, primarily those who served in the armed forces and have specific military occupational specialties and corresponding experience, will be called up.” Unfortunately for Russians, that’s a lie. Putin is a liar.

Russians are fleeing the nation to avoid the draft. They’re crossing borders into Finland, Georgia, Mongolia, and Kazakhstan, and flying to Turkey.

One young man who has been drafted is fleeing Russia despite the fact his wife will give birth next week. He said, “I will miss the most important day of my life. But I am simply not letting Putin turn me into a killer in a war that I want no part in.”

One group that helps Russians leave the nation so they won’t have to fight Putin’s war estimates that over 70,000 men have used their service to leave Russia with many purchasing one-way tickets. Returning to Russia may land them in prison…or dead in Ukraine.

Russians are against this war and the “partial” mobilization. One young man shot a recruitment officer today at a military enlistment station in Russia’s Irkutsk region. He was distraught because his best friend has been drafted to fight in Putin’s war despite having zero military experience. See? Putin is a liar. The recruitment officer survived.

With so many Russians against this war against a nation they don’t hate, how can they stop it? The only way may be by removing Putin from office. That will not happen politically. Russian politicians lack the intestinal fortitude to confront Putin. They’re unwilling to speak against him let alone attempt to remove him. Putin’s critics have bad habits of tripping out of windows and accidentally drinking poison.

The only way Putin will be removed will be by a military coup. The more territory Russia loses to Ukraine, the more the military destabilizes, and the more Russian soldiers die fighting Putin’s war, the more the military will want to get rid of Putin.

Putin, like Hitler before him who also wasn’t a military genius, may find himself in a bunker.

As Soviet troops entered a destroyed Berlin in 1945, Hitler hid in his Führerbunker and eventually killed himself. I don’t see that happening with Putin but I do believe the military will remove him.

Let’s just hope that Putin is removed before he gets to the point of drafting children to protect him, which Hitler did because that’s all that was left to fight for Germany.

There are still men left to fight for Putin now, but there are not a lot of them who want to.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Puttin’ Around in Putin’s Basement

Vladimir Putin believed Ukraine was going to launch a new offensive in the south, so he deployed troops from the northeast of Ukraine to defend the south…and Ukraine then launched a major offensive in the northeast. Ukraine played rope-a-dope and Putin was the dope.

Ukraine forces were able to recapture dozens of villages and towns in over 6,000 sq kilometers (2,300 sq miles) of what is formerly Russian-occupied territory. The only people left who probably still believe Putin is a war genius are those bought and paid for by Putin, like Donald Trump, Tucker Carlson, Ted Rall, etc.

Now, even pro-Kremlin Russians are starting to question the war. We’ll see how long their health holds out.

This is Putin’s war. It’s obviously clear to everyone, especially to Russian soldiers fighting this war, that Vladimir Putin doesn’t care about anyone except Vladimir Putin. His own troops are describing themselves as “cannon fodder” for Putin. It’s not just Ukrainian elementary schools, hospitals, and apartment buildings Putin is willing to sacrifice, but his own people.

If this keeps up, Putin will be removed from power. He started this war over a lie (Nazis in Ukraine) and will keep lying to fight it. It’s hard to lie to his people that Russia’s winning when husbands, brothers, and sons aren’t coming home. Putin is getting so desperate that he has to purchase weapons from Iran and North Korea which violates all sorts of sanctions.

How far will Putin go to win this war and save face…and save his power? Will he go nuclear? Could that be assisted in any way by secrets provided by Donald Trump? it’s very plausible that Putin gained access to the classified documents Trump stole. We have to ask again: Why did Trump take these documents? Why? It’s a question Republicans should start asking, you know, if they were actual patriots and not sycophantic cultish butt boys.

Music Note: I listened to The Cars, but only songs sung by Ben Orr.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Gorby and Pootie

When I was a kid, I accepted that the world was going to end in my lifetime through nuclear war. In a way, it was kinda like the kids today who have never lived in a world before 9/11. Until 1990, I had never lived in a world without the Cold War. It was part of my culture. My son was born in 1990, so he barely missed it.

I was born a few years after the Cuban missile crisis, but I knew all about it. It was in my history books. Some of the first news events I noticed were about the cold war. I watched President Carter boycott the Moscow Olympics and then watched Russia boycott the Los Angeles Olympics. I watched on TV as Russia illegally invaded Afghanistan, which we didn’t learn anything from. I watched as we funded Afghanistan’s fight against Russia the same way Russia funded North Vietnam to fight us.

Everyone was fine with the United States and Russia fighting as long as they weren’t fighting each other.

In 1983, over 100 million people in this country watched The Day After, a TV movie about the day after nuclear exchanges between the U.S. and the Soviet Union. It scared the shit out of us. It remains to this day the second scariest movie to feature Steve Guttenberg after Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (I had to look that up).

When the Soviet Union shot down a South Korean airliner in 1983, a lot of us kinda expected a war to start.

We all watched Red Dawn a thousand times, a film whose movie poster looked like a Lauren Boebert Christmas card and which to this day remains the second scariest movie to feature Charlie Sheen after Major League II. Later, we thought there was no way a movie could be made that made less sense than Red Dawn until they re-made Red Dawn with the Soviet/Cuban invasion replaced by one from North Korea. The original Red Dawn also featured Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey, but they had to wait until their next movie together to get it on. Fortunately for the couple, Commie Soviets don’t dirty dance.

We were all told we were going to die in that shitty keyboard-heavy song, “The Final Countdown,” by Europe, the second scariest band to ever come out of Sweden after the Nazi-heavy Ace of Base (turns out “The Sign” they saw was a Swastika).

And even if the United States and Russia weren’t going to fire nukes at each other, The Terminator told us machines would become self-aware and fire those nukes at us. I’m still afraid to buy a Roomba.

Even Elton John sang about a Soviet soldier behind the wall that he’d never get to be with because of the Cold War, which didn’t make any sense because “Nikita” is a guy’s name and….Oooh. Now I get it (but seriously, despite its relevancy being destroyed, “Nikita” is a really good song. It’s a lot better than that anti-Cold War song Sting did, called “Russians.” I bet you don’t remember that one).

We were living with the acceptance that we were doomed, which was kinda OK because it would save us from being embarrassed in the future when our kids found old pictures of us wearing neon spandex and huge shoulder pads (which is less embarrassing than your kids finding your Poison cassette. I swear, son…I’ve always hated “Every Rose Has Its Thorn”). I still don’t understand leg warmers.

And then Mikhail Gorbachev came along and brought Glasnost and Perestroika. He ended the Cold War, tore down the Berlin Wall, and with the help of Nirvana, ended Europe’s music career (name a second song from Europe. You can’t). Finally, Paul McCartney was able to sing “Back in the U.S.S.R” when in Moscow when it was no longer the U.S.S.R. Maybe Putin was listening when Macca sang “those Ukraine girls really knock me out.”

Gorbachev was the last Soviet leader. It wasn’t his intention to dismantle the Soviet Union or the Warsaw Pact, but that’s what he did. Oppski. Gorbachev initiated economic and political reforms. He knew the nation couldn’t survive under a strict communist economic system (people wanted to buy those acid-washed jeans). He tried to turn the Soviet Union from a one-party state into a socialist democracy…it didn’t work. And despite what Sputnik Boy Ted Rall will tell you, what Russia has today still doesn’t work.

After the Berlin Wall came down and eastern European nations, who also wanted to buy blue jeans and Cyndi Lauper records (if they had heard Poison, they may have rebuilt the wall), started to leave the Warsaw Pact, Gorbachev didn’t send the military in to stop them. After a coup attempt, nations started to leave the Soviet Union. Nations like Ukraine. Today, several former Soviet States consider Russia an enemy, which is pretty much the same way I feel about Poison (and Train…and Nickelback).

Mikhail Gorbachev refused to go to war to preserve the Soviet Union. Vladimir Putin is using war to build it back.

Putin never wanted democracy and is President of Russia today through sham elections. Putin’s political opponents turn up dead or are sent to prison. Putin is a fascist and is his net worth is estimated to be around $70 billion, which is pretty good considering he’s only had government jobs his entire life.

Putin has illegally invaded Ukraine, after illegally annexing Crimea. While the Russian military pales in comparison to the U.S. military ($70 billion a year vs. $800 billion), it still sits on top of approximately 6,000 nuclear weapons. The U.S. has fewer than 4,000 nuclear warheads. All it would take to end the world would be Putin to be irritable after some bad borscht or if someone played “Hey, Soul Sister” for him.

So yeah, we’re still all going to die in a nuclear armageddon, which at the very least, will save us from future Swedish Nazi rock music. Doo-da-doo-doo….doo-da-doo-doo-doo.

Music note: I listened to more Elton John while drawing this, but oddly enough, not “Nikita.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

B-Ball and Cannibal

It was bad enough that we are offering Victor Bout in exchange for basketball player Brittney Griner and accused spy Paul Whelan. But now, the Russians are asking for an assassin to be included in the deal, a convicted murderer who’s not even in United States custody.

Viktor Bout is a Russian arms dealer without the charm of Nicolas Cage who sold weapons to terrorists planning to attack the United States. He’s currently in U.S. custody serving 25 years after being convicted of conspiracy to kill U.S. citizens and officials, delivery of anti-aircraft missiles, and providing aid to a terrorist organization. I mean, damn. Even Donald Trump has only done two of those things.

I’m not sure about all the details with Paul Whelan as like the people holding him, the Russian Federal Security Service, Whelan has a long history of lying. But Brittney Griner is being held captive by Russia for possessing a little bit of hemp oil. What were the Russians afraid of? That she’d spread it around and Russian civilians would get the munchies? So, trading an innocent and harmless basketball player who’s never hurt anyone for a guy delivering anti-aircraft missiles with the intention to kill Americans is bullshit.

But now, the Russians want Vadim Krasikov, an assassin who murdered a Chechen fighter in Berlin in 2019. Krasikov was convicted in Germany. He’s not ours to give away.

What this means is that the Russians aren’t taking our offers of trading the arms dealer for Griner and Whelan seriously. They’re fucking with us.

Trades in professional sports will often include players from more than two teams. Usually, everyone gets some value…except the New Orleans Saints and Minnesota Vikings. Those teams always get fucked in deals. But then again, it was the Saints’ own stupidity that traded an entire draft for Ricky Williams with then head coach Mike Ditka announcing his willingness to do so two months before the draft, thus eroding any leverage he may have begun with (if you ever get an opportunity to play poker with Mike Ditka…DO IT!). It was the Vikings’ own stupidity that gave the Cowboys three Super Bowls in exchange for Herschel Walker, and this was before Herschel Walker was talking about our good air going to China with their bad air coming over here.

I just hope the Biden administration is smarter than the Ditka one. If not, we’re going to give Russia a bunch of murderers and terrorist arms dealers and all we’ll get in return will be a bunch of hot pockets and a Yugo.

I do believe President Biden is smarter than Mike Ditka. After all, Ditka’s a Trumper. You gotta be a moron or a white nationalist to be a Trumper. Biden is not a moron.

I just wish we could trade the equivalent of Brittney Griner for Brittney Griner. I mean, we have a lot of Russian hockey players. Can’t we just give one of those back to Russia? There’s a bunch of them making American dollars who’ve posed with Putin for photo-ops.

But then again, if Putin really wants a pro-Russian criminal who’s committed to destroying the United States, let’s go back to my original idea from last week. Let’s give him Donald Trump.

Music note: I listened to Men At Work.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Trading For Brittney

Why can’t we trade Donald Trump, Steve Bannon, Roger Stone, Michael Flynn, Paul Manafort, and Tucker Carlson to Russia for WNBA star Brittney Griner?

Brittney Griner was wrongly imprisoned. Even in a fascist oppressive state like Russia where the justice system is less consistent than Facebook’s algorithms, nobody should be sent to prison for possessing a little hemp oil. At the most, they should have given her a tiny fine. But what Russia is doing is holding Brittney, not as a prisoner, but as a hostage. They are using her as leverage to get something they want from the United States. This is a terrorist act. We are negotiating with terrorists. So, let’s give them some terrorists.

Donald Trump, Steve Bannon, Roger Stone, Michael Flynn, Paul Manafort, and Tucker Carlson have all supported terrorists. They’re great big fans of the white nationalist terrorist attack on our Capitol to overturn an election and make our nation more like Russia. They love Russia and fascism just as much as they love white nationalist terrorists.

There’s a pro-Trump goon on GoComics who always refers to me as “Comrade Clay” in an attempt to insult me, you know…because liberals are commies like Russia was back in the 80s, or some shit like that. But the people who have boners for Russia today aren’t liberals. They’re MAGAts. They love Putin. They love Russia. They love fascism. White nationalists see Russia as the last bastion of white purity.

These people love to tell us that if we don’t love America, then we should leave, yet they’re the ones whacking off to Russia.

Right now, we’re negotiating to release a Russian terrorist to Putin. Giving Putin Donald Trump, Steve Bannon, Roger Stone, Michael Flynn, Paul Manafort, and Tucker Carlson would be the same thing.

And, they should all want to go to Russia. Donald Trump worships and idolizes Putin. Steve Bannon is the poster child for American white nationalism and fascism. Paul Manafort was a lobbyist and political consultant for Russian proxies in Ukraine. Michael Flynn was literally paid by Russia. Our nation would just be better off without Roger Stone. And Tucker Carlson wonders why he should hate Putin and choose Ukraine over Russia. He doesn’t have to. Let’s send them all to Russia.

The only obstacle to this plan is that Russia won’t want them. Why would they? What can they do for Russia in Russia? They do a better job of serving Putin’s interests here in the United States, by trying to destroy the United States.

MAGAts always point out that Russia didn’t invade Ukraine while Trump was president (sic). True, but that’s because he didn’t have to. Trump was already trying to destroy NATO for Putin. Invading Ukraine during that time would have been counterproductive for them.

KY Patriot (seriously, that’s his name), another MAGAt on Truth Social, commented on my last cartoon on Brittney Griner saying that if Trump was president, she would be free by now because Trump and Putin are friends. He then wrote “Fuck Brittney and fuck Ukraine.”

Yeah, Trump and Putin are friends. That’s a good thing, to be pals with a fascist? Also, since he wants Brittney to stay in Russia, why is he bragging that Trump would free her? Also, since Trump could convince Putin to free Brittney, why didn’t he get Putin to release Paul Whelan? Whelan was abducted by Russia while Trump was in the White House.

This MAGAt hatred for Brittney is interesting. I saw a post by a goon on Facebook that Brittney deserves to be incarcerated in Russia and shouldn’t be allowed to return to this nation because she’s criticized it in the past. Meanwhile, they’re wearing caps that literally say America is not great. Consistency is a huge problem for MAGAts.

When Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly told Trump that Putin was a “killer” during an interview in 2017, Trump rushed to Putin’s defense and said, “There are a lot of killers. We have a lot of killers. Well, you think our country is so innocent?

You can criticize and love the United States. Closing your eyes and plugging your ears while singing “nanananananana” doesn’t fix anything.

But sending fascist MAGAt goons to Russia in a trade for Brittney would fix a LOT of shit. I think my proposal has merit. Since they love Russia so much, they should go live in Russia.

Music note: I listened to David Bowie and Dion while drawing today.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Free Brittney

All-star American basketball star Brittney Griner has been in a Russian prison for over 140 days despite the fact she’s not a criminal. And despite the fact she’s not a criminal, she pleaded guilty this week and admitted wrongdoing in packing smoking cartridges in her luggage that contained less than a single gram of hashish oil. It wasn’t even hash. It was ish.

The seven-time All-Star center for the W.N.B.A.’s Phoenix Mercury now faces ten years in a Russian prison. She is being used as leverage for Vladimir Putin in his negotiations with the west.

After Russia illegally invaded Ukraine, the democratic world shut off most trade and set embargoes on Putin’s fascist state. Throughout the world, Russian oligarchs are having their yachts seized. The economy in Russia wasn’t strong to begin with but now it’s teetering on a total collapse. So, Brittney picked a bad time to go to Russia.

Brittney’s plan was to play in the professional Russian basketball league during the WNBA’s offseason. She’s one of the biggest stars in the WNBA and makes around $227,000 a year playing for the Mercury. By comparison, the average NBA salary is over $7 million a year. There’s been speculation over how much effort would be put into freeing a basketball star unfairly imprisoned in Russia if that star was Lebron James…but Lebron James would never have to supplement his income by playing in Russia. NBA players who spend the majority of their career riding the bench would never have to supplement their income by playing in Russia.

There’s not enough outrage and demand in this country to free Brittney. There was more noise being made to free the other Britney from her father controlling her life and business.

Britney Spears is white and blonde. Brittney Griner is nearly seven feet tall, has dreadlocks, is covered in tattoos, black, and is a lesbian. Unfortunately, there’s a large percentage of our population who hate LGBTQ as much as Vladimir Putin.

Note: Another cartoonist will now use the Britney/Brittney comparison for a cartoon now that I’ve made it in this column.

Last Wednesday in Phoenix, the city where Brittney Griner plays and won a WNBA championship, a rally was held for her in the Footprint Center, the Mercury’s home arena which seats over 17,000 people. Only 300 people showed up. How many would have shown up if the player Putin was holding hostage was the Suns’ Chris Paul? Probably at least a few more than 300.

Brittney Griner is not the only American Putin is holding hostage. Paul Whelan has been in a Russian prison since the Trump administration, which should be noted since Trump recently claimed that if he were still president (sic), Brittney would have been freed by now. Sure.

It’s believed Brittney pled guilty to speed the process along and further negotiations between the United States and Russia for her release. Keep in mind that Russia’s judicial system isn’t exactly like ours.

There’s been talk of a prisoner swap with Brittney being traded for Viktor Bout, a Russian who has been imprisoned in the United States since 2012 on a 25-year sentence for conspiring to sell weapons to terrorists planning to kill Americans. During his sentencing, prosecutors called Bout “among the world’s most successful and sophisticated arms traffickers.” He is known as the Merchant of Death.

It’s a lopsided deal to trade the Merchant of Death, who was participating in a terrorist plot against Americans, for a very tall black lesbian whose only crime was carrying a little hashish oil in a vape cartridge. At the very least, Paul Whelan should be included in the trade.

Brittney wrote a letter to President Biden saying, “I’m terrified I might be here forever. Please don’t forget about me.” While receiving the Presidential Medal of Freedom from President Biden this week, U.S. soccer player Megan Rapinoe wore a white suit with the letters “BG” on it for Brittney Griner. She later posted on Instagram, “BG, we love you.” She also posted “BG is being used as a political pawn and we need to bring her (home) immediately. This plea doesn’t change that @potus needs to and is working hard to get her home.”

We can’t forget Brittney Griner. Bring Brittney Griner home now.

Free Brittney.

Music note: I listened to the Kaiser Chiefs while drawing today’s cartoon.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Putin Eyes

I’ve heard from critics before, “I shouldn’t have to read your blog to understand your cartoon.” They’re right. I don’t write this blog to explain my cartoons. If someone doesn’t get my cartoon, it’s either because they don’t know the background to the issue, they’re slow, or I failed. I will usually take the blame, accept failure, and live to fight another day. I cringe when someone, even a fan, makes a comment like, “Go read Clay’s blog to understand today’s cartoon” Ugh.

I write the blog because I usually have more to say and it’s fun. I don’t write the blog to explain the cartoons. If you don’t “get” that day’s cartoon before you read the blog, then I suck that day.

Today though, you may need to read the blog if you don’t get this cartoon because maybe I do suck today. I say this because one of my proofreaders didn’t get it. But I was just glad she knew the caricatures were Bush and Putin.

You see, this is referencing something that happened a few days ago and something else that happened over 20 years ago. So, you may not remember that. After I reminded my proofer, she said this cartoon works…but you still have to get it.

In 2001, shortly after the Supreme Court elected George W. Bush as president, he made his first trip to Europe which included a summit with Vladimir Putin in Slovenia. In case you’re a Republican, Slovenia is a nation in Europe. That’s exactly what White House staffers said to Bush just before he boarded Air Force One.

No one knew what to expect from the first meeting between the two new presidents as Putin had assumed office just the year before. What’s really fucked up about this is at that time, Putin may have won his office with more legitimacy than the American president had. But Bush and Putin got along swimmingly. They became best buddies in no time and Bush even invited Putin to visit his ranch in Texas. Bush said later, ” I was able to get a sense of his soul.” Yeah, no you didn’t.

At a press conference after the summit, he went back to the “soul” line and said, “I looked the man in the eye. I found him very straightforward and trustworthy – I was able to get a sense of his soul.” Condoleeza Rice, Bush’s future Secretary of State, later wrote that Bush’s phrasing had been a serious mistake. “We were never able to escape the perception that the president had naïvely trusted Putin and then been betrayed.”

Well, Condi, you were never able to escape that perception because Bush had naïvely trusted Putin and the world was betrayed. Fooling and manipulating leaders has been a trademark of Vladimir Putin’s. Knowing German Chancellor Angela Merkel had a fear of large scary-looking dogs from a childhood incident, Putin brought a large labrador, Konni, to one of their meetings in order to intimidate her. Whether that’s a negotiating tactic or just for his own amusement, Vladimir Putin is a sick psychopathic bastard. He also once told Bush that Konni was “bigger, tougher, stronger, faster, meaner” than Barney, Bush’s Scottish Terrier. Putin may as well have told Bush that Konni could eat Barney.

During all eight years of the Bush administration, we thought he was the dumbest fucker who had ever been president. And, we were probably right up to that point. If Putin could manipulate Bush and someone as intelligent as Merkel, Donald Trump was orange putty in his hands. We would have done better with Barney.

A couple years later, George W. Bush ordered the invasion of Iraq over a bunch of claims that still haven’t been proven to be true. The Bush administration lied us into a war. The bad thing is, a lot of us knew they were lying. It was an unjust and unprovoked invasion. And how bad did Trump have to be for us to miss George W. Bush? We nearly forgot why we hated George W. Bush. But last week, Bush gave a lecture and reminded us why we hated him so much.

During a speech in Dallas, Bush condemned the “decision of one man to launch a wholly unjustified and brutal invasion of Iraq.” Oops. He corrected himself and said, ” I mean, of Ukraine.” He then laughed and blamed his age for the “Freudian Slip,” saying, “I’m 75.”

I don’t buy that excuse because he wasn’t 75 when he confused Iraq for Afghanistan and invaded the wrong country.

The entire room laughed and everyone had a good time at the expense of the over 3,000 dead and over 32,000 wounded Americans, hundreds of thousands of Iraqi deaths, countless massacres of civilians, the forcible displacement of millions of people, and the saturation of the country with toxic and radioactive munitions that continue to cause congenital birth defects, cancer, and all manner of other maladies nearly two decades after the launch of an unprovoked invasion.

These wholly unjustified and brutal invasions decided by a single person need to stop.

It was an unprovoked invasion that destroyed Iraq, ousted the leadership, and replaced it with U.S. hand-picked Iraqi leaders. It’s the exact same thing Putin and Russia are trying to do in Ukraine.

The war in Iraq was a war crime and George W. Bush is a war criminal, just like Vladimir Putin. And now, George W. Bush has finally admitted he’s a war criminal.

Bush lamented the “absence of checks and balances” in the invasion of Ukraine while ignoring the “absence of checks and balances” in our invasion of Iraq. In a world of checks and balances, Bush and Putin would be sharing a jail cell at the Hague.

And throw in Dick Cheney too.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Happy Putin Day

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Moskva Sinksva

After the Russian warship, Moskva was struck by two Ukrainian missiles, the official position of the Kremlin was “nyuh-uh.” The first response was that it was a small fire from an explosion in their ammunition storage. That could be true. There was an explosion in their ammunition storage…after it was hit by two Ukrainian missiles. As the ship was being towed to a Russian port in the Black Sea, it sank. The Russians blame “heavy seas” for the sinking.

Here’s a fun fact: Moskva was built in Ukraine. It’s an old ship from the Soviet era, when Ukraine was a part of the Soviet Union against its will, like how it’s against our will that Florida is a part of the United States. The ship was laid down in 1976 and launched in 1979. It’s served in Russian conflicts in Georgia, Crimea, and Syria…everywhere Russia shouldn’t have been.

The Moskva wasn’t just any old boat. It was the flagship of the Russian Black Sea fleet. Russia stepped up its attacks in Eastern Ukraine after the sinking. Some Russian officials, forgetting the state explanation, said that Ukraine sinking the Moskva is an “act of war,” after Russia’s been bombing that nation for the past five weeks.

Russia claims the entire crew of 510 was evacuated, but several family members of the crew are wondering why they’re not getting any letters or phone calls from their missing sons. As Ad-Rock said in “Rhymin’ and Stealin’,” they delivered Colonel Sanders down to Davy Jones Locker.

Vladimir Solovyov, Russia’s Tucker Carlson who’s not Russia’s actual Tucker Carlson, said on his popular Russian state TV show, “Vladimir 2Night” (I made that up), “Just explain to me how you managed to lose it!” Yeah, as if it was misplaced. Have you checked the couch cushions? Solovyov was expressing anger at the Russian Navy which means the other Vladimir is extremely upset and soon, a Russian Navy fall guy will fall off the top of a building in Moskva, which is Moscow. Solovyov is considered the “voice of Putin.” He doesn’t say anything unless Putin says it’s OK, kinda like the way Putin writes the talking points forTucker Carlson, Ted Rall, and Donald Trump.

Whether it was hit by Ukrainian missiles, the ammo storage just self exploded, a permed-up sailor left a plugged-in curling iron on his bunk, or someone was deep-frying a turkey in the cargo hold (those things are dangerous. I’m surprised Bubba terrorists aren’t using them on black churches. synagogues, mosques, Disneyland, and capitol buildings), the loss of the Moskva is a heavy loss for Russia’s war effort. The sinking doesn’t just eliminate one ship from firing at baby hospitals in Odessa. It eliminates several, at least for the time being.

Moskva wasn’t a ship that conducted land attacks. It provided air cover and coordinated the attacks from other ships in its fleet. The Moskva is the largest ship to be sunk in combat since World War II. Additional humiliation for Russia is that Moskva is named for Moscow, Russia’s capital. This is another instance of Russia underestimating the fighting capabilities of Ukraine. The Ukrainians were not supposed to be able to sink the Moskva as it’s a ship designed to defend against incoming missiles.

Another fun fact: Moskva was the ship at Snake Island at the start of the war ordering Ukrainian soldiers to surrender, and got the reply, “Russian warship, go fuck yourself.” Right now, crabs are fucking it.

I try to avoid using clichés in my work, like sinking ships. The sinking ship analogy is one of the most overused clichés in the political cartooning business. Nearly every cartoonist has drawn a sinking ship at some point in their career, but some jackholes use it like it was forced upon them. Google “Gary Varvel sinking ship cartoon.” To be fair, I’ve drawn at least three “Where all the white women at” cartoons over the past five years or so. I’ve drawn two Jerk cartoons, where Donald Trump is Steve Martin in “The Jerk” wearing the bathrobe and clutching several items while saying, “I don’t need anything…except this lamp.” I’ll probably never use that one again as between my two Jerk cartoons, another cartoonist used it and then publicly accused me of stealing it from him.

But then again, never say “never.”

When Afghanistan President Ashraf Ghani fled his nation as the Taliban was taking over, I drew a sinking ship cartoon with Ghani paddling a lifeboat away. It was the perfect analogy for the situation, but I felt dirty. I promised myself that I would not draw another sinking ship cartoon unless it pertained to an actual sinking ship. Then, I got an actual sinking ship. I thought what better way to use a cliché about an actual sinking ship than to make the cliché the joke? It mocks my entire industry, myself included.

Now let’s see how long I can go without drawing a sinking ship again. Drawing cartoons about actual ships that sank doesn’t count.

Music Note: I listened to Led Zeppelin while drawing today.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Putin Bunny

I like to draw cartoons about Vladimir Putin I know I wouldn’t be able to publish in Russia. How tall of a building would a Russian cartoonist get thrown off of after drawing a Putin bunny?

As we all know, Vladimir Putin is a war criminal. His invasion alone can be considered a war crime as his reasons to attack his neighbors are just about as valid as Hitler’s when he attacked his. In case you’re slow, that means his reasons are not valid. This is not a border crisis. This isn’t because NATO goaded Russia. This isn’t because Ukraine belongs to Russia or doesn’t have sovereignty. This isn’t because President Joe Biden isn’t nice enough to Putin. And, it’s not about Nazis in Ukraine. This is about Vladimir Putin expanding his power and he’ll kill anyone and destroy anything to accomplish it.

Putin didn’t attack Ukraine by only targeting its military. He’s attacked cities, suburbs, villages, apartment buildings, government offices, businesses, schools, playgrounds, theaters, hospitals, and train stations where people are lined up to escape the country. He’s hit buildings clearly marked to contain civilians. I’m starting to think Putin doesn’t care who dies on either side.

When I see images of people crying over the dead bodies of their children, my heart breaks. How can it not? How can anyone with a heart not be moved by those images? Vladimir Putin doesn’t have a heart. If he did, he’d stop his stupid war that’s going to set both nations back decades. But war criminals don’t care about other people. And from the evidence, Putin intends to keep killing civilian Ukrainians long after the war is over.

After Russians retreated from an area outside Kyiv, a man was killed by a bomb in a car trunk, set as a booby trap to explode when the trunk was opened. This is not war. This is murder. That is a war crime.

Ukrainians aren’t just finding unexploded bombs from areas formerly occupied by their invaders. They’re also discovering thousands of land mines. A lot of times when a civilian finds a land mine, he finds it the hard way. It gets more devious. The Russian military has left explosive booby traps inside homes. Explosive booby traps have been left in garage doors, washing machines, car windows, and other ordinary everyday items. They’ve even left booby traps under hospital beds and corpses they left behind.

Think about that. They commit war crimes by killing civilians, then use the corpse of the person they murdered to murder more people.

President Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraine this week called his country “one of the most contaminated by mines in the world.” Ukraine is working to clear the country of these land mines and explosive booby traps, but they probably won’t find them all. Decades after they were set and the wars are over, landmines are still being found in Africa and Southeast Asia.

There is an international treaty banning the use of land mines in wars, which Ukraine has signed. Three nations that have not are Russia, China, and…wait for it…the United States. Presidents Clinton, Bush, Obama, Trump (sic), and Biden have all refused to ban this nation’s use of land mines. Why?

The U.S. reasoning is that it needs land mines as a deterrent along the DMZ between North and South Korea.

Before the Ottawa Treaty banning land mines was enacted in 1993, over 25,000 civilians were killed annually by these heartless indiscriminate booby traps. Today after at least 181 nations have signed, it’s down to 4,000 civilians killed annually by abandoned land mines.

The U.S. has not signed the treaty, but it has followed the treaty’s key requirements, including its no-use, no-production, and no-trade provisions. Our nation hasn’t used them since Desert Storm in 1991. The U.S. has also provided more funds than any other nation in efforts to clear land minefields. But why can’t we sign the treaty? Why can’t we give up using land mines entirely?

President Clinton called it a “global tragedy” and said, “In all probability, land mines kill more children than soldiers, and they keep killing after wars are over.” But he refused to sign the treaty under pressure from the Pentagon. The pentagon may not be as afraid of giving up land mines as much as it’s afraid of what they’ll have to give up next. They may be afraid of an international treaty banning drones, which we often use to bomb Muslim weddings.

If the United States signs this treaty banning land mines, it may be powerful enough to persuade Russia to sign it. Maybe if we had signed it years ago, the Russian Army wouldn’t be leaving land mines for innocent Ukrainian civilians to find the hard way today. But then again with Putin, signing it probably wouldn’t change his strategy. I mean, do you need a treaty to stop bombing baby hospitals and leaving explosive booby traps under hospital beds?

There is no good reason to use land mines and other booby traps. Putin is a murderer and a war criminal. The man knows no compassion. Anyone leaving behind landmines to kill and maim children is a son of a bitch who deserves to burn in Hell…if Hell wasn’t too good for him.

My wish for the Putin Bunny would be for it to hop through the field where it left its surprises.

Music note: I listened to a mix today while drawing this cartoon that included Sugar Ray, Incubus, and 311. I guess my player wanted me to listen to bands with DJs, which is something I’m not super fond of.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: