Putin

Wacky Republicans

cjones11272017

It seems each new day brings us a revelation of sexual harassment, transgressions, or weird sex stuff of someone prominent. The latest revealed that Texas’ longest serving Congressman, Republican Joe Barton, was having an affair while separated from his wife. He says the sex was consensual, and they only did it twice over five years. Hey, twice in five years is probably pretty good for a 68-year-old crusty Republican.

Barton sent his flame a video of him abusing himself. You know, going to town below the belt. He was giving his thingy special attention. He was being wacky.

According to reports, the woman he sent it to resent it to several of her friends, which tells me she either hated Barton or her friends. Barton found out about this and in a recorded phone call with the woman, threatened to have the Capitol Police investigate the matter if the video or photos became public. I’ll give you one guess what became public.

Yeah, the photo was posted anonymously on Twitter, along with a text from Barton which read, “I want you soo bad. Right now. Deep and hard”. Apparently, he only needs one hand to text. When I heard about this photo’s existence my first thought was, “I do not ever want to see this photo.” Several people posted on my social media pages to tell me they hunted it down to give it a look, which makes me have to ask, “what the hell is wrong with you people?” I have as much morbid curiosity as the next guy, but come on. I don’t want to see photos of abused children and animals, the way I dressed in the 80s, ketchup on a hot dog, or Republicans whacking it.

I don’t know if Barton did anything technically wrong here. Morally, maybe. I suppose you’re not supposed to have sex with another woman while married, even if you’re separated. But, in my book, if someone leaves you behind then all bets are off. Maybe, he violated a Congressional ethics policy by using his position to influence someone to sleep with him but, good luck finding a politician who hasn’t done that.

It is pretty stupid to send naked photos of yourself, and even dumber to send a video. However, it’s not illegal to send it to another adult. I am against hackers leaking celebrities’ private photos, and now I have to hold the same position regarding politician’s private photos….especially if they’re old and ugly Republicans.

It will be interesting to see if Republicans have the same reaction to Barton’s sexting as they did toward Anthony Weiner’s shenanigans. I don’t expect them to as Republicans are hypocrites.

It will also be interesting to see how The Family Council and Christian Coalition of America will respond since they have both given Barton a 100 percent rating.

Barton has hired a crisis communication firm to deal with the fallout of his naked selfie but, I don’t see that doing much good. It’s impossible to put naked toothpaste back into the tube. And, since Barton probably sent these things to more than one woman, we can expect more naked Bartons to materialize on Twitter in the very near future. Yay.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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Collusion Over Coffee

cjones11162017

It’s been a very busy week for bullshit.

First, Vladimir Putin told Trump he didn’t have anything to do with Russia meddling in our election. As if, Russia had Wikileaks hack into the DNC, made attempts to hack into voting systems, placed ads on Facebook and Twitter, sent Russians to hang out with Trump sycophants, and unleashed troll farms, all without Putin being aware of it. Worse yet, Trump believed him.

Then, Jeff Sessions is questioned by Congress again, and tells us his previous lies weren’t lies. There were a lot of “I don’t recalls,” and he explained how he suddenly remembers telling Papadopoulos not to go to Russia at a meeting he doesn’t remember attending.

I’m not sure this administration can match Reagan’s with “I don’t recalls,” but they may beat them in indictments.

And then…Donald Trump Jr, who got really upset every time someone accused the campaign of colluding with Russia, revealed yet another incident of his collusion with Russia.

During the campaign, Jr. was trading messages back and forth with Wikileaks through Twitter. They even asked Jr. to give them his father’s tax returns so they could leak it and pretend they weren’t just going after the Clinton campaign. Wink wink. Nudge nudge.

Wikileaks suggested to Jr. that Trump not concede if he lost, and should challenge the results (which he still did after winning). Jr. even emailed Steve Bannon, Kellyanne Conway, and Jared Kushner to tell them Wikileaks just made contact. Jared forwarded that email to Hope Hicks. How often have we seen Kellyanne on TV denying there was any collusion with Russia? Maybe twice?

In keeping with his strategy of not knowing when to shut up, Jr. tweeted out, “Here is the entire chain of messages with @wikileaks9 with my whopping 3 responses) which one of the congressional committees has chosen to selectively leak. How ironic!”

How terrible it must be when someone leaks proof you’re full of shit and a traitor.

Uh, Jr….the fact you replied even once can be described as a whopper. What else can be defined as whopperistic are your denials of collusion. If you were actually transparent you would have revealed this a very long time ago, at least around the time you were calling people liars who accused you of colluding. Or maybe, you could have revealed this after everyone found out you were hosting Russians who were promising dirt on Hillary in Trump Tower.

Jeff Sessions once said “good people don’t smoke marijuana,” but potheads have a better memory than these guys.

People are starting to think maybe Eric isn’t the dumb one after all. At this point, I’m starting to think Carter Page might be related.

Meanwhile, wingnuts are destroying Keurig coffee makers because the company pulled advertising from Sean Hannity’s show when that guy helped deflect Roy Moore’s pedophilia.

Destroying coffee makers should please Kellyanne Conway, who believes kitchen appliances can spy on us.

It’s hard to get cartoon ideas on people who are already cartoons.

Creative notes: Shortish blog today because I need to write ideas for two commissioned projects. Also, I’m not sure if this cartoon is good at all. But, sometimes I’ll go with something if it makes me laugh and I can have fun with it. It’s hard to tell sometimes when you don’t get your idea until 5:00 AM.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Scamelot

cjones11142017

I said it in a blog post a few days ago, and I’m gonna say it again. I’m old enough to remember when protecting America from Russia was a part of the Republican Party’s platform. And, I don’t think I’m that old.

Like Trump, when John F. Kennedy took office, critics questioned if he was up to the task. People worried he was too young, inexperienced, and that a much more seasoned player on the international stage like Nikita Khrushchev would manipulate and get the best of him. In Trump’s case, people worry he’s not up to the job because he’s a narcissistic idiot.

JFK was tested like no president before him. Lincoln may have had the hardest challenge of keeping the nation together, but Kennedy had the task of preventing nuclear Armageddon.

The Bay of Pigs disaster gave Kennedy’s critics every right for concern, but he proved he was the right man at the right time when he stared down Khrushchev, and Khrushchev blinked. Nearly every presidential historian has JFK and Lincoln in their top five of the greatest American presidents. Trump will be in every historian’s bottom five, if not rated the very worst.

If you’re a geek like I am, you read books grading each of our presidents. Even the worst presidents have a few positive details included about them. Most historians give Nixon high marks for his foreign policy and economic performance, and even James Buchanan is given credit for receiving concessions from Paraguay, China, and England…before he allowed the nation to split in two. Trump will probably only be given credit for winning an election, and even that will have an asterisk.

If Trump was president during the Cuban Missile Crisis, today there would be a lot of Soviet missiles 90 miles from Miami pointed at the United States. Trump has shown only appeasement to Russia, the nation that helped him win the presidency.

You wonder what else Putin has on Trump, as our president has never said one critical word about Russia’s president. Trump still cannot acknowledge the fact Russia meddled in our election. The guy truly is Putin’s puppet.

Trump isn’t just Putin’s puppet. He’s everyone’s puppet. All you have to do is give him praise or insults, and you can manipulate him to do what you want. China gave him a state dinner and in return, Trump refused to criticize their atrocious human rights record. He even followed China’s lead and didn’t allow our press to ask questions when he was in China, which is customary.

During the presidential campaign, Trump said China was raping us. During his Asia trip, he said he didn’t blame China for raping us. Like most Republicans, Trump would rather blame the victim of rape instead of the rapist.

Saudi Arabia gave him a sword dance and in return, Trump supported their criticism of Qatar (where we have a military base) and their recent internal power grab. He said, “they know what they’re doing.”

After Turkish President Erdogan seized more power and even had his security detail attack American protesters outside the Turkish embassy, Trump praised the guy and said, “he’s getting very high marks.”

The White House says Trump spoke to President Duterte of the Philippines about his extrajudicial killings, and the Philippine government tells us it never came up. However, Duterte did serenade Trump with a love song called “You are the Light.” Seriously. In fact, Trump said Duterte is doing an “unbelievable job” in fighting the drug war. Trump also chuckled when Duterte chastised the American press for asking questions and when he called them “spies.” So much for the President of the United States being a defender of freedom.

As much as Trump has sucked up to other autocrats, Putin takes the cake. Hell, Trump has probably baked him one. After Trump came into office, Putin asked him to host the Russian ambassador and Foreign Minister in the Oval Office. Trump dutifully complied, kicked out our press and allowed the Russians to bring their own.

During an international summit in Germany, Trump met with Putin and didn’t bring an American translator to their chat. He also went light on Putin about their meddling in our election and those of other nations.

Congress passed sanctions on Russia, and Trump has yet to implement them even though it’s past the deadline the legislative branch mandated.

Trump has continued to deny Russia ever meddled in the election, despite daily revelations of his campaign colluding with Russians. During Trump’s Asia trip, he got to hang out with Putin again.

During this meeting, Trump says he talked to Putin again about the meddling and Putin said he didn’t do it, and he’s offended by people saying he did. Trump said he believes him. Later, Trump said he believes our security experts, but he also believes Putin doesn’t think he meddled. Say what now?

Is Donald Trump seriously trying to convince us that Russia meddled but Putin isn’t aware of it? Seriously? That makes about as much sense as Roy Moore telling us that he never dated someone without their mother’s permission…when he was in his 30s.

Donald Trump is no JFK, no Abraham Lincoln, and he’s no Barack Obama. He’s not even a James Buchanan.

Creative notes: I can’t recall the last time I drew JFK or RFK. Maybe I never have. I wasn’t sure if I should go with this idea as I was wondering if it was funny enough, but I really got into it when I started adding all the little details. While writing today’s blog, the idea of including a Life Magazine came to me. It bugged me enough that I went back and added it, and then resent it to my clients, who already had the first version.

It would have eaten me alive every time I looked at the cartoon if I didn’t have Life Magazine.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Russian Troll Farm

cjones09202017

Today, we’re going to start with the basics and have a lesson on trolls. No. Not the mythological trolls who live under bridges, though some of these trolls would probably live under a bridge if that bridge was also a Wi-Fi hotspot.

We’re going to talk about internet trolls. Now, if you do not post stuff on the internet, like political cartoons or ever engage in online debates, then…GOOD FOR YOU! That’s very healthy for your mind and it means you will never encounter trolls. But, if you are the sort (like me) who posts opinions online or engage in online debates, then you are stalked by the cretins.

There are several types of internet trolls. The first is the troll who disrupts a conversation. If you post an opinion like, “Obama kept all of his promises,” and someone comes along and says, “but he didn’t shut down Guantanamo like he promised,” that person is not a troll. Someone disagreeing with you does not make them a troll. Though at times when you disagree with a conservative, he will accuse you of being a troll if you throw logic at him that he can’t refute. That is a tactic of a troll (we’ll cover more of those tactics in a bit).

The troll who disrupts merely disrupts because he’s trying to destroy the conversation and divert it into another direction until all the conversation consists of are insults. For example, let’s say you post that Trump’s Muslim ban is bigotry and unconstitutional, as he promised to ban Muslims while he was campaigning. An internet troll will enter your discussion and tell you how Islam is a violent religion and you hate America. He might even say if you don’t like it here then you should move to Iran, which he couldn’t find on a map if his troll life depended on it.

Another tactic of the troll is the art of deflection. For instance, you might start a conversation about how Trump University is a sham. The troll will come in and say something like “Benghazi” or “lock her up.” That doesn’t make any sense, does it? No. But, if you counter the troll by pointing out that his argument doesn’t make any sense, then the troll has achieved his objective because you’re not talking about Trump University anymore. Eventually, along the way, he’s going to call you a “libtard,” “snowflake,” and perhaps tell you that you desire a “safe space.” Other favorite terms for trolls are, “Odummer,” “Obummer,” and “Killary.” I know, they’re not very creative. Trolls never are. They all use the same code words because they’re not very good at formulating thoughts on their own. Also, watch out for “thug,” as that’s their replacement for the N-word.

Other troll tactics are never quitting. You can stop replying to them, but they’ll keep it up. If you do reply, that is commonly referred as “feeding the trolls.” Other tactics are using memes with fake stuff in them, like “Obama banned the Pledge of Allegiance.” One of their most effective tactics is the use of fake quotes. This is where they take a picture of someone, usually a founding father like Thomas Jefferson, and just make up some shit that he supposedly said like, “everyone should have a gun…and shoot their brown neighbor. It’s the American thing to do.” Trolls love them some fake quotes. Half the time, they don’t even know they’re fake, and they don’t care. Facts schmacts!

Another type of troll is the one who actually creates the post and starts the conversation. For example, last week I saw one of my conservative troll-like colleagues start a discussion wailing about the injustice Stephen Colbert gave toward religion because in his monologue, he mocked the Catholic church’s stance on gluten. Yes. Someone actually complained about this. A professional cartoonist, at that. Most of the conversation that followed consisted almost entirely of his fellow trolls, who all joined the wailing about the blasphemy Colbert directed at their religion. Of course, none of these people except for the original troll saw the monologue as they were all watching Fox News. This is the type of stuff used to create a divisive climate and to spread propaganda.

Which, is what the professional trolls do. These are the trolls that put actual heavy lifting into their trolling. The propagandists who made the phony videos that claimed Planned Parenthood was selling dead baby body parts were trolling on a grand scale. They put a lot of money into that trolling. Even after the videos were debunked, even by several state governments run by Republicans, the amateur trolls still believe it. Trolls don’t need facts or logic for their beliefs. They believe stuff based on their desire to believe it, like Obama was born in Kenya, and he’s a secret Muslim who went on an apology tour for America.

Now, if you go out and vote for Donald Trump and your vote is based only on lies, the troll doesn’t care. He’s done his job. The propaganda worked and it was cheap. The other person who doesn’t care if your vote was based on lies is Donald Trump. Of course, Trump is a major troll. His favorite troll term is “fake news.”

This is where the most dangerous trolls come in (along with the ones who inspire nuts to go on a shooting frenzy). Russian trolls. The Russian trolls aren’t just trying to decide an election. They’re trying to screw up other nation’s political systems. So far, they’ve done a very good job. America is full of all types of crazy, stupid people and all they needed was a little push.

During the campaign, we knew the Russians were putting fake information on the internet. Stuff like Hillary Clinton running a child-sex-slave shop out of the basement of a D.C. pizza parlor. Never mind that it wasn’t true, or that the pizza shop targeted doesn’t even have a basement. The objective is to make you believe it. Michael Flynn’s son was tweeting out the story about “Pizzagate” while he was on the Trump Transition team, and another guy believed it so much that he took a gun to the pizza shop and started shooting. Kinda like the guy who shot up the Colorado Springs Planned Parenthood office because those videos told him they were selling dead babies.

If you take this story and help spread it around, share it on the Facebook, retweet it on Twitter, then you are what is commonly referred to as a “useful idiot,” and of course you’re a troll. And, you’re not just any kind of troll. You’re troll cattle.

The Russians have troll farms. That’s where they create shit, breed troll cattle to feed the shit, and then have the cattle spread it. If you’ve ever spread bullshit on the internet, you’re a fucking troll cow and there’s a good chance you were working for the Russians…and for free. You’re a piece of shit.

As it turns out, nearly a year after the election it’s come to our attention that the Russians weren’t just dropping fake stories on the internet. They were paying for it. They paid Facebook over $100,000 for bullshit ads. And even worse, they were advertising rallies, where trolls could gather and get pissed off together.

With the way this information has slowly been revealed by Facebook, some are wondering if Putin has a pee tape of Mark Zuckerberg (someone else made up that joke, but I don’t know who so I can’t give him or her credit).

Most of these trolls don’t know they’re trolls. But, give yourself a test. If you believe in something just because you want to believe it, then you might be a troll. If you have shared something (like a meme) and didn’t research it to find out if it’s true, then you might be a troll. Google is free, people. It’s not hard to look shit up, and you’re on the internet anyway. Something sounding like it could be true to you does not make it true. There are 25 million people who believe Kim Jong Un is a god, but that doesn’t make him a god. There were 62 million Americans who thought Donald Trump would make a good president, and that shit ain’t coming true either. Ever. And, if you believe Trump won the popular vote and there were millions of people voting illegally for Clinton, you’re a goddamn troll.

The trolls are out there. Whether they know it or not, they could be working for Russians. Look for the traits. Look for the keywords, like “Benghazi,” “lock her up,” “libtard,”  “snowflake,” and “fake news.” Or, just look for the assholes.

Creative note: A couple weeks ago a colleague posted a question for other cartoonists, asking “what do you hate drawing the most?”. The number one answer was crowds. I don’t really mind crowds and I do it fairly often (as long as I don’t have to be in an actual crowd). The second most popular answer was…grass. I agree with that. Drawing grass sucks. Grass is in strands, it’s tiny, it’s green, and it can take all freaking day, or if you take the lazy route and do it very quickly, then it can look like crap. Fortunately for me, I’m aided by the fact that I don’t draw anything realistic. It’s because I’m sloppy. But, I will still spend seven stupid hours on a cartoon, with at least one hour of that drawing grass. I’d rather draw a crowd.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Swims With Fishes

cjones08152017 - Copy

In retaliation for the United States placing more sanctions on that nation, Russia expelled 755 U.S. diplomats. Trump, who has talked tough to Mitch McConnell, Jeff Sessions, Kim Jong Un, Kristen Stewart, Broadway plays, and almost everyone in the world with a Twitter account, thanked Putin.

Yeah. He thanked Vladimir for expelling U.S. diplomats. Hey, he disrupted their lives and our relations just got even worse, but thanks, buddy.

Trump said Putin did us a favor, because it cuts payroll. Uh, first thing is: Vladimir Putin doesn’t fire employees of the United States government. He doesn’t control our payroll, does he? I mean, can he call Trump and tell him what do…aw, crap. He’s already done that by telling him to meet the Russian ambassador and foreign minister in the Oval Office, back when Trump gave them classified info.

The White House says Trump was joking about the “thank you.” OK, that would be believable except that’s all Trump had to say about it. Trump goes after everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY. He’s crapping on people in his own party, in his own cabinet. And yet, he can’t say one negative comment about Vladimir Putin.

You would think that at some point Trump would at least try to give the impression that Putin wasn’t holding a pee tape of him with Russian hookers.

Creative notes: Short blog right now because I want this published quick, I’m hungry, and I will draw again early in the morning. Also, trying something new here with the teaser images for shares on Facebook. We’ll see how it works.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Teaser1

Lost In Translation

cjones07202017

Donald Trump and his sycophants complain constantly how the story about his campaign colluding with Russia is fake news. They cry how the media is obsessed with it and a lot of people agree, not just Trump freaks. Why won’t the media stop talking about Russia? Probably because Trump, his family, his campaign, and his appointees keep going to bed with Russians.

If you want us to stop talking about Russia then stop drip, drip, dripping details about your collusion with Russia.

There was a huge dinner at the G20 shared by the world leaders in attendance. Each member was allowed to bring their spouse and a translator so they could have a conversation with their counterpart they would be seated next to. Japan’s Prime Minister Shinzo Abe had the unfortunate designation to be seated next to Trump. Trump brought along a Japanese interpreter even though Abe speaks English (or maybe that’s what the translator was for). Fortunately for Abe, Trump left his seat in the middle of the meal.

It’s not uncommon for the leaders to move around and chit-chat with presidents, prime ministers, chancellors, and kings they weren’t seated with. There were eighteen leaders from other nations Trump could have picked to have an hour long conversation with after his meal. Did he pick Argentina, Italy, Brazil, Indonesia, or South Africa? Of course not. You know it wasn’t Mexico.

Quite naturally, it was Vladimir Putin. Vlad was seated a good distance away from Trump and across the table. That didn’t stop Donald from playing fanboy and reach out to suck up to Putin. The problem with this is, it’s Donald Trump and Russia. No members of Trump’s staff accompanied him for this conversation. He relied on Putin’s interpreter to translate. Another issue about this is, they kept it on the down low.

Do you think Trump would have negotiated a deal to put his name on a hotel by relying solely on the other party’s translator? He needs to take the business and security of our nation as seriously as he does about slapping his name on a sham university or some chewy steaks sold through The Sharper Image.

The White House only confirmed the meeting Tuesday after reports surfaced that other guests were surprised and icked out by it. Trump is doing a very poor job proving he’s not Putin’s puppet and that the Russia story is “fake news.”

Trump tweeted, “Fake News story of secret dinner with Putin is ‘sick.’ All G 20 leaders, and spouses, were invited by the Chancellor of Germany. Press knew!” and “The Fake News is becoming more and more dishonest! Even a dinner arranged for top 20 leaders in Germany is made to look sinister!”

The dinner was not a secret and was reported. His hour-long conversation with Putin was not a well-known subject. Trump didn’t bring it up with his conversation with reporters on the flight home.

Trump met with Putin for two hours earlier that day. He had been briefed before that meeting and brought along Secretary of State Rex Tillerson to minimize Trump’s fuckery as much as possible. He was not prepped with flash cards before his later bromance with Vlad, neither was he accompanied by someone from the United States who, well, knows stuff.

At their earlier meeting, Trump asked Putin twice about meddling in the U.S. election. He didn’t tell him we knew he did it. He asked. They then agreed to disagree, move on, and not bring it up again. So what did they discuss at the dinner? We will never know if it was small talk and pleasantries or if Trump gave him the keys to NORAD.

Trump used this opportunity to show that he prefers a closer relationship with Russia than with our allies. If it was the Kremlin’s goal to get Putin, an experienced negotiator and manipulator, alone with Donald Trump, mission accomplished.

On Tuesday, Trump announced the appointment of Jon Huntsman as ambassador to Russia (though, naturally they misspelled his name during the announcement). Huntsman was formerly ambassador to China and a few years ago Trump accused him of giving our nation away to Beijing. Maybe that’s the idea with this appointment to Moscow.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Putin Confirmation

cjones07102017

With as many “they said/he said” situations that Donald Trump gets himself into, you’d think he was on a nighttime soap from the 1980s, not the president of the free world.

He’s had these “did too/did not, did grab/didn’t grab” situations with women. He’s had a “he said/he said” with the former director of the FBI. Now he’s having it with Russian President Vladimir Putin. When did international diplomacy become Mean Girls?

I have three teenage nieces and a day doesn’t go by when one of them doesn’t put a vague post on Facebook (could it get any worse? My life is over! Oh the suffering! You skank, you know who you are!). All three of my nieces together can’t match the attention-seeking-drama of our 71-year-old president. My nieces don’t understand the differences between “their,” “there,” and “they’re,” or “lose” and “loose,” but they still spell better than the president.

The world was shocked that Donald Trump brought up the issue of Russian hacking during his longer than expected chit chat with Vladimir Putin. Rex Tillerson claims Trump brought it up repeatedly. I’m sure that’s true because Trump has brought it up repeatedly with a lot of people. He won’t stop tweeting about it.

After meeting with Trump, Vladimir beat the Americans to the press. Old Vlad said that Trump brought it up and accepted his denial. Rex Tillerson says that’s crazy Russian talk.

I’m sure Putin would manipulate the press, the president, you, me (he never calls. He only hacks), and he’s not above telling a lie. The problem with this situation is, we know Donald Trump lies. Donald Trump lies about shit he doesn’t have to lie about (that’s when someone has a real problem with pathological lying). So who do we believe?

One participant lies to gain leverage. The other lies because he’s a little bitch.

When Trump and Tillerson sat down with Putin and his Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov, the Americans diplomatic experience was outgunned by 62 years. He got to chuckle with Putin over their disdain for the press (Why not throw off building? Splat. Problem solved).

Trump and Putin agreed that their countries should not “meddle” in each other’s affairs. That was stupid. Our help with monitoring elections in Russia and support for democracy isn’t the same as Putin hacking into our election, throwing the entire system out of wack, and installing a temperamental, narcissistic man-baby in the White House. It also puts Russia on an equal moral level with us. Trump, you idiot.

After Putin claimed that Trump accepted his denial, he told the press to go ask Trump. That is getting owned. Trump has remained silent. How bizarre is it that the man who kills journalists, gave a quote to journalists, and the supposed leader of the free world has not. It seems both sides have “agreed to disagree.” This is national security, not a debate over reincarnation (Trump was a shit weasel in a previous life).

I didn’t have much faith in Trump’s ability to handle the meeting as he started his day at the G20 in Hamburg, Germany, with nineteen other world leaders, by tweeting about John Podesta and claiming it’s all anyone at the summit was talking about. Trump was giving further cover to Putin’s election hacking by blaming the victim, and this time not really understanding the situation (Trump wondered why Podesta didn’t give the DNC’s server to the CIA, though Podesta wasn’t working for the DNC and the CIA can’t engage in domestic intelligence gathering. Why does a political cartoonist know this stuff better than the president?). And, if everyone’s talking about one thing, we know that one thing isn’t John Podesta. It’s Game Of Thrones (I haven’t watched but I hear good things).

U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley defended Trump by saying “everyone knows Russia meddled in our election.” Not everyone. Your boss doesn’t.

So which of the two liars are we to believe? When Putin says that Trump accepted his denial, we have to believe Putin. Trump has accepted the denial and promoted it for over a year. He refused to believe Russia was involved during the debates. He refused to believe our intelligence sources. He’s refused to believe any investigation. He’s even made up some shit to cast denial over Russia hacking the election.

It’s not hard to believe Trump accepted Putin’s denial. Where there is no denial is that Putin owns Trump, and with that possession, the United States has lost its position as leader of the free world.

Creative Note: I drew this last night and finished up pretty early. As soon as the drawing was done it was time for me to have dinner with some friends. So, I didn’t post the cartoon as I had not written the blog yet. I did mail it to my clients and two of them have already “scooped” me with my own cartoon. Sorry I made you wait.

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