Press Secretary

The New And Improved Trump Goon

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We’re about to have some fun. I mean, if the White House brings back the daily press briefings (not these daily mini-MAGA rallies disguised as coronavirus briefings where Donald Trump talks for two hours about how much people are appreciating him yet not appreciating him enough, lies, and screams at reporters for asking legitimate questions), we’re gonna have some fun. OK, maybe not a lot of fun. But it’ll at least be interesting for a moment to watch Donald Trump’s new White House Press Secretary go to work.

Donald Trump just hired Kayleigh McEnany to be his White House Press Secretary. In case you’re keeping score, this is number 4. Obama had 3 over 8 years, George W. Bush had 4 over 8 years, Clinton had 5 over 8 years, and Reagan had 3 over 8 years. Donald Trump may set the record for most press secretaries and without serving a second term.

Like most people I’ve talked to about Kayleigh McEnany, you’re asking, “Who?”

Kayleigh McEnany is a young brilliant legal mind…OK, she’s young and she has a mind, who was working pro-bono for Trump before he ever hired her.

As a law student, she was hired by CNN in 2016 as an on-air contributor where she was a strong pro-Trump advocate. It’s like she was drinking out of the Kool-Aid pitcher before the water was even poured in. But let’s be real. It’s not sexist to point out the obvious in that McEnany wasn’t hired for her legal mind or real-world experience. For real-world experience, as a college student, she didn’t have any. She still doesn’t have any. Let’s face facts. She’s pretty. She was hired because of that by everyone who has ever hired her. She was no more hired for her work experience than Sean Spicer was hired for his dancing ability or Sarah Huckabee Sanders for her fashion sense.

McEnany is replacing Stephanie Grisham, who as press secretary for nine months, never held a press briefing. But she did go on Fox News a lot. Reportedly, new Chief-of-Staff Mark Meadows wanted to shake things up in the West Wing and he’s sending Grisham back to her previous job as Chief-of-Staff for Melania Trump which should be a relief after the heavy workload she experienced as Donald Trump’s press secretary (in case you’re a Republican, that was sarcasm).

What does Mark Meadows want in Kayleigh McEnany? If he’s looking for a young blonde willing to scream stupid shit for Donald Trump to spite reality, that’s what he’s got. And she does it well.

She left CNN to work for Real News Update, a Trump campaign propaganda online show that, surprise, was NOT real news. From there, she went to work for the Republican National Committee as their spokesperson.

She’s expected to continue to be an advocate for Trump on TV and maybe conduct press briefings in the future, which I’m sure, speaking for everyone in the press, we’re all looking forward to.

So, what can we expect from McEnany if she does resume the daily press briefings? It’ll be like if two of Donald Trump’s former press secretaries, Sean Spicer and Sarah Huckabee Sanders, shared a bottle of Ripple in an hourly-rate motel room,  got busy (sorry for any upcoming mental images), and for some unexplained anomaly, had a pretty baby enthusiastic for Trump as though she was all hopped up on crack and Red Bull.

Let’s just take a recent statement Kayleigh made on February 25. She said on Fox News, “We will not see diseases like the coronavirus come here, we will not see terrorism come here, and isn’t that refreshing when contrasting it with the awful presidency of President Obama?” In case you just came out of a coma or you’re a Trump supporter engaging in conspiracy theories, the coronavirus is here. Today, there have been over 400,000 people infected with the coronavirus and over 12,000 have died from it.

By the way: the new fucknut talking point is that we’re attributing too many deaths to the coronavirus. No, seriously. Half of those who died from it actually died from something else. They just happened to have the virus at the same time. Again, seriously. I’ll bet you one bottle of blonde hair dye that Kayleigh picks up this argument in the very near future. Do I have any takers?

Back to our main topic: McEnany says her coronavirus quote was taken out of context and she was specifically referring to Trump’s moves to limit and ban travel from China. Though, after she said it, over 40,000 people still came in from China. Also, when have we had any terrorists come here from China?

Obviously, with that quote where she was WRONG, she was performing for an audience of one. What other crazy fucked up shit has Kayleigh said? A lot.

She helped Trump promote his racism and birtherism by tweeting in 2012, “How I Met Your Brother — Never mind, forgot he’s still in that hut in Kenya. #ObamaTVShows.” That also presents us with another fine example of Republican humor.

On her blog, which is now in “maintenance mode,” she helped spread a wildly debunked lie that one of the Columbine victims was shot after telling the shooter she believed in God.  On that same blog, she also referred to Obama as a “white African-American.” There’s also assorted hate with Islamophobia mixed in on that blog.

She expressed anger over South Carolina Republican Mark Sanford being elected to Congress writing, “While the rest of the nation celebrated Father’s Day, Sanford’s four sons had no father to celebrate with. Why? Because Sanford found it more important to visit his Argentinian mistress – all on the taxpayers’ dime.” First off, I’m not sure if Sanford traveled for some Argentian boinking on the taxpayer’s dime. But, now, she works for a father of five, Mr. Family Values and Grab-Them-By-The-Pussy Donald Trump. Though, she did argue once that after Donald Trump started kissing a woman, as he said he would do on the Hollywood Access tape, that it was consensual. Enjoy your time working close to Trump, Kayleigh. Just tell yourself while it’s happening, it’s consensual.

She also wrote, “It’s a well-known fact that President Obama has zero regard for the US National Debt. The reckless increase in our nation’s debt under this president is obvious, naive, and dangerous.” Did I mention that she now works for Donald Trump after finishing a stint with the RNC?

Perhaps the biggest whopper is that she has claimed Donald Trump has (put down your coffee) never lied.

Trump’s White House has been a joke when it comes to presenting facts, they’ve shown “zero regard” or respect for the American people whom they represent. On day one, Donald Trump’s first act was to send out his press secretary, Sean Spicer, to lie about crowd sizes. Kayleigh is going to fit right in.

When it comes to facts from Kayleigh McEnany, there aren’t any.

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Huckasans’ BFF

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Those who work as spokespersons in politics refer to what they do as spinning. Technically, it’s propaganda but it can be done where you never lie. The real art of spinning is to not tell the truths that hurt your message. You tell the truths that help your agenda and leave out those that don’t. When those truths are pointed out to you, you find a way to deflect or use your truths to counter those. The best spin doctors never lie. With the exception of the Nixon administration, you will have a hard time finding evidence of a White House spokesperson knowingly telling a lie. Yes, that includes the George W. Bush administration.

That has changed with the Trump administration. With these spinners, it’s hard to find examples of them telling the truth. In fact, on Trumps very first day in office, he sent his spokesperson, Sean Spicer, out in an ill-fitting suit to purposely lie to the press. When a president and his staff lie to the press, they’re lying to the American people. Spicer, on Trump’s orders, lied about something petty, insignificant, ridiculous and easily proven to be a lie. He claimed and argued that Trump had the largest inauguration attendance in presidential history. Sean Spicer never recovered and to this day, when you think of him you probably have an image of Melissa McCarthy’s SNL impersonation.

Sean Spicer will never be taken seriously ever again and will forever be seen as a ridiculous human being. Working for Donald Trump has destroyed the credibility of several people in his administration…like all of them. Even his physician has become a laughingstock (“Trump could live to be 200”). When you lie for a ridiculous human being, you become a ridiculous human being.

Spicer’s replacement, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, is a ridiculous human being.

Among the gems in the Mueller Report are the lies Huckabee Sanders admitted to Mueller’s team that she had told as press secretary.

On May 10, 2017, when a reporter pushed back on Sanders’ claim that “The rank and file of the FBI had lost confidence in their director (James Comey),” and quoted an FBI special agent who said “the vast majority of the bureau is in favor of Director Comey,” she said “Look, we’ve heard from countless members of the FBI that say very different things.”

Shocking no one, that was a lie. She just made it up. She told Mueller’s team it was a “slip of the tongue.” I thought a slip of the tongue was when you say something that’s in your brain, but you didn’t want to say, like a secret racist dropping an N-bomb, which Trump will surely do at some point soon. But apparently, in Sanders’ case, your tongue slips and bullshit comes out. Usually, when you say something was a “slip of the tongue,” that defense doesn’t help you at all.

After the Mueller Report was released, Sanders went on Good Morning America and lied to cover for her lie. She claimed she made the statement in the heat of the moment, and that it was not “a scripted talking point.” Then, she started spinning. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t a robot like the Democrat Party that went out for two and a half years and repeated time and time again that there was definitely Russian collusion between the president and his campaign.” Her deflection was supposed to somehow put heat on Democrats for her lie. This is Trumpian logic. Democratic Party robots are much more dangerous than lying press secretaries.

If Sanders ever conducts another press briefing (they’ve phased them out), reporters need to grill her about her lie. Any other administration would have fired her for lying. This administration sends her out to lie.

White House correspondent for National Urban Radio, April Ryan said Sanders needs to resign. Ryan is the reporter whom Trump asked if she could set up a meeting between him and the Congressional Black Caucus, forgetting that’s not a reporter’s job and assuming that all black people know each other. Surprisingly, he didn’t have a “slip of the tongue that day.”

During a panel discussion on CNN about Sanders’ lie, Ryan said, “She outright lied and the people, the American people, can’t trust her. They can’t trust what’s said from the president’s mouthpiece, spokesperson, from the people’s house. Therefore, she should be let go. She should be fired. End of story.” With the Trump administration, it’s not the end of story, though it should be.

Ryan summed up with, “When there is a lack of credibility there, you have to start and start lopping the heads off. It’s ‘Fire Me Thursday’ or ‘Fire Me Good Friday.’ She needs to go.” But that’s the thing. To get rid of the liars in this White House, you would have to lop the head off and Trump is the big orange head.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders has as much credibility as Tokyo Rose, Hanoi Hannah, Seoul City Sue, and Baghdad Bob.

I doubt Huckasans will resign or be fired, but she won’t be press secretary forever. Since her career options will be limited in the United States (how many times can her dad run for president?), maybe she can find work outside the country.

The “Pink Lady” who delivers highly emotional propaganda disguised as news for North Korea’s state-run media (imagine the only channel being Fox News) is really old. She has to permanently retire at some point (she retires but keeps coming back). Perhaps Sanders can put on a pink Joseon and sing the praises for a different Dear Leader. And, she won’t have to worry about nosy reporters asking her tough questions after saying stupid like, “Trump is orange because of good genes.” And if they do, she can just feed them to dogs or have them shot with anti-aircraft guns.

Spokesgoons need love too.

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What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
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