Trump Punk’d


If I was a sycophant and worshiped a leader, then at the very least that leader should possess a mind like a steel trap, and he wouldn’t be anyone’s fool. But then again, I’m not a sycophant because sycophants follow people like Donald Trump who can be bamboozled by a prank phone call perpetuated by a guy named Stuttering John.

Stuttering John is John Melendez, a comedian with a podcast. Last week, he prank-called the White House during his show. The White House is a very busy and important place receiving thousands of calls a day. Naturally, there is a system in place so the crazies never reach the president. Right? Wrong. It’s kinda hard to screen the crazies when there’s a crazy answering the phone.

Melendez posed as an assistant to New Jersey Democratic Senator Bob Menendez. Stuttering John ultimately received a call back from Donald Trump from Air Force One. They had a four-minute conversation over immigration reform, the Supreme Court vacancy, and the president congratulated, who he thought was Senator Menendez, on beating an ethics lawsuit. He probably wanted to know how he did it.

Somehow, the comedian’s initial call reached Trump’s son-in-law and wife of favorite offspring Ivanka, who then got Trump to call him back. Melendez told TMZ that if he could fool Jared Trump, then so could the Russians. He also said it was “unbelievable” how easy it was to deceive Donald Trump. “If┬áthis stuttering idiot can get through to Donald Trump that quickly, then who else could?”

That’s a very good question. How many people have randomly dialed the White House switchboard to get Trump on the phone to spill national security secrets? No wonder his lawyers don’t want him to talk to Robert Mueller.

Now, Stuttering John has to deal with the Secret Service, and he’s hired Stormy Daniels’ attorney Michael Avenatti to represent him. Basically, Stuttering John is in trouble because the president is a moron.

While the ease of fooling Trump may come as a surprise to the comedian, it’s already a well-known fact used diplomatically by Vladimir Putin, Xi Jinping, and Kim Jong Un.

Kim Jong Un used Trump’s stupidity to get a summit, appear on the same stage as an American president, and gain legitimacy. He also got Trump to end joint military exercises with South Korea and to consider withdrawing American Troops from the Korean peninsula in exchange for a piece of paper that states North Korea promises to think about making promises.

The document Kim signed with Trump states his nation will work toward the denuclearization of the Korean peninsula. That would be like the wording on your car loan stating you intend to make payments.

Trump has declared that North Korea is no longer a nuclear threat while intelligence agencies report they’ve actually been expanding their weapons program. This can’t be true because that would mean Trump got played, and he’s not really smarter than everyone else or a great deal maker. What else would there be to believe in?

I used to think it was a shame the children of today can’t enjoy the silliness of prank phone calls, what with technology like caller ID. It never did occur to me to call the White House and ask Donald Trump if I can talk to I.P Freely.

Watch me draw.

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