Canadian Brownface


Maybe Justin Trudeau, Canada’s liberal prime minister, should have said it was the light bulbs that made his face look brown. But, like our president, it’s not the lighting to blame for their appearance. It’s the goop they put on their faces.

A yearbook photo has emerged of Trudeau, a self-described feminist, and pro-immigrant liberal from Montreal, wearing blackface at an “Arabian Nights” themed costume party in 2001. Trudeau was 29 at the time and a teacher at the private school where the event was held. Time Magazine was the first to publish the photo which was taken from a school yearbook.

A school yearbook is also where photos emerged in Virginia of someone wearing blackface (I guess it’s “brownface” in Canada) standing next to someone in a Ku Klux Klan robe. It was reported that the man in blackface was Virginia’s governor, Ralph Northam who apologized for the photo, then a day later claimed it wasn’t him. Though, Northam did confess to wearing blackface at a moonwalk competition when he was 25.

Trudeau didn’t squirm out an explanation from the Northam playbook, which hopefully doesn’t contain any embarrassing photos from the past. Instead, Trudeau owned it. While campaigning for reelection, he said, “This is something I shouldn’t have done many years ago. It was something that I didn’t think was racist at the time, but now I recognize it was something racist to do, and I am deeply sorry.”

Do you know what I was doing when I was 29? I was not putting shoe polish on my face and impersonating other races. Though, when I was a teenager, I once put white makeup on my face while wearing a baseball uniform so friends and I could impersonate the Baseball Furies on Halloween. I actually wish there were photos from that. And if you don’t know what the Baseball Furies is from, then you’re just not cool. But, I digress.

What the hell is up with these white politicians putting shoe polish on their face? And, what’s up with all these school yearbooks publishing the photos? Trudeau also admitted, probably because there’s a photo out there, that he also wore blackface/brownface once in high school (I swear I’m not making this up) while performing “Day-O,” the Jamaican folk song (if I had to sing Day-O, I’d probably wear a bag over my face). I have to know if there’s a recording of this because I’ve never seen a future prime minister sing “Come, mister tally man, tally me banana.” Could it possibly be worse than Trump doing the chicken song (not really racist, but really bad) or being hit on by Rudy Giuliani in drag?

I don’t care how much he’s championed rights for racial minorities in Canada or how many Syrian refugees he’s allowed into the nation. If there’s a recording of his Day-O performance, he’s screwed. But, at least he did apologize and own it.

Here in the United States, our president (sic) doesn’t know how to apologize. He believes it’s weak. He’d rather spend a week drawing on weather reports with a sharpie and directing the National Weather Service to lie about hurricanes than say “oops.”

It’s understandable that people become more aware and sensitive when they grow older, but hopefully before they hit their 30s. Everyone was a stupid kid. And to a point, everyone was or will be a stupid 29-year-old. But, even in 2001 (which doesn’t seem that long ago when you’re 53), you’d think someone at 29 or 25 would realize just how racist it is to impersonate another race and wear shoe polish on your face. My son once dressed as Aladdin for Halloween, when he was seven. Even then, he didn’t put shoe polish on his face.

People who are a different race than you are people, not costumes. Stop dehumanizing them. My seven-year-old understood that. So, why can’t a 25 or 29-year-old? I don’t get it.

We’ll have to wait and see if Canadians forgive Trudeau for playing Arabian and Jamaican. It seems nobody here cares about Trump playing psychotic Oompa Loompa.

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The Orangeface Blues


In Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds, Brad Pitt’s Aldo Raine leads a team of Jewish Allied soldiers killing and scalping Nazis behind enemy lines in World War II. Of course, the soldiers’ actions go against everything in the Geneva Convention as Aldo says at one point in the film to a German soldier, “You probably heard we ain’t in the prisoner-takin’ business; we in the killin’ Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'”.

However, with each massacre, the Allied soldiers leave one survivor to tell the grisly tale and help build the Basterds “inglourious” reputation. In doing so, Also leaves the surviving soldier with a memento. A memento in the form of a permanent Swastika.

Before letting one survivor go in the film, he asks if he’s going to take off his uniform. Of course the German says yes and even swears he’s going to burn it. Aldo doesn’t like that answer and replies, “You see, we like our Nazis in uniform. That way we can spot ’em just like that. But you take off that uniform, ain’t no one ever gonna know you were a Nazi. And that don’t sit well with us. So, I’m gonna give you a little something you can’t take off.”

What Aldo does is take a huge hunting knife and carves a Swastika on the German’s forehead for him to wear the rest of his life. The men in his platoon compliment that his Swastikas keep getting better and better.

Taking off the uniform is exactly what Trump supporters are going to do after he’s going to prison and the nation spends decades recovering from his fuckery. They’re going to claim they never supported him. Have you seen Omarosa Manigault on TV? She hates everything about Trump now that he’s done with her, but she’d still be working in the White House if he would have her. She took off the uniform.

The liars of the future are the liars of the present. They don’t just include the general public. They also include elected officials. Ted Cruz and Lindsey Graham were two of the most anti-Trump Republicans in 2015 and 2016. They warned how he would destroy the nation. Cruz called him a “sniveling coward” for picking on his wife and father. Trump called Heidi ugly in a tweet and helped the National Enquirer spread a story that Ted’s dad was a part of the plot to kill JFK. Lindsey Graham said, “You know how you make America great again? Tell Donald Trump to go to hell.” Today, they’re both slobbering man servants to Trump. Lindsey Graham is helping Trump turn America into Hell.

Cruz and Graham don’t have a spine or an ounce of dignity between them, or the National Enquirer really has some good shit on them.

I know private citizens who were the same way. They swore they’d never support Trump. One conservative cartoonist even swore he’d stop sharing Breitbart links after they started supporting Trump, and right in line with a conservative’s convictions, he was true to his word for maybe three days. Today, how dare anyone criticize Trump.

All of these people are hypocrites. When the elected lickspittles decry Trump, we’ll have a public record of their groveling. But what about the private Trump brownnoser? Just like it pisses me off when someone accuses me of not being a Cubs fan until they won the World Series, it’s going to make me livid if they think I ever supported Donald Trump. How will we be able to tell the lying toadies apart from those of us who genuinely fought for our nation to protect it from Trump? It’s not like we can go around today and start carving Trump Swastikas into their foreheads. I checked.

We have to carve it into our memories. It’s easy enough with family members. It’ll be harder with friends and even tougher with casual acquaintances. But just as much as we can’t let them get away with lies today, we can’t let them do it in the future. And keep in mind, even when they do come around, they’re still the type of people who will put a psychopathic traitor before their nation. They’re still going to be racist assholes.

Just like Ralph Northam’s blackface yearbook photo came back to haunt him, we have to let their orangeface history haunt Trump’s sycophants.

For the Deplorable Basterds, we have to make orangeface really hard to wash off.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
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