Obamagate

Biggest Crime In American History


cjones05172020

Donald Trump has been on a Tweetstorm of late, even more so than usual. Even more deranged than usual. On at least one day this week, he tweeted or retweeted over 100 times. I’m a political cartoonist self-isolating with nothing to do but watch TV, draw cartoons, and eat, and eat, and eat, and eat…and even I couldn’t find the time to tweet 100 times day, not that I’d want to. But the President (sic) of the United States of America, in the midst of a pandemic, has time to retweet Rose McGowan.

A big part of the current tweet pandemic from Trump is conspiracy theories. Donald Trump loves him some conspiracy theories. His foray into politics was the conspiracy theory that President Obama was born in Kenya. That never panned out for him, as in proving it, but it helped establish him to racist America that he’s their guy. He’s still their guy as a lot of these recent tweets accuse President Obama of committing the “biggest crime in American history.”

What is this “biggest crime in American history” that President Obama committed? Don’t know. But it has something to do with President Obama committing a coup against Trump’s presidency before Trump was president or some “deep state” shit like that. Trump is saying everyone in his administration who helped President Obama attack Trump deserves jail time.

President Obama expressed concern the past weekend over the Justice Department just dropping all charges against Trump goon Michael Flynn. He also described Trump’s response to the coronavirus pandemic as “chaos.” This is what set Trump off.

In Trump world, a man who pleads guilty to lying to the FBI and had secret contacts with Russians in an attempt to undermine American foreign policy (that’s a coup attempt) should be let off. But conspiracy theories should send a man to jail.

So, what are the crimes President Obama committed? Shortly after taking office, Trump accused President Obama of wiretapping Trump Tower. You know that place, Trump Tower. It’s where Trump has a penthouse that looks like Goldmember decorated it after becoming a crack addict. It’s that place where Donald Trump gets his taco bowls on Cinco de Mayo. It’s where Donald Trump had his campaign headquarters. It’s where he jacked up the rent to the Secret Service who needed space there to protect Trump’s orange ass. It’s also that place where Donald Trump Jr. invited Russians into to provide dirt on their political opponent. But, as it turns out, President Obama NEVER wiretapped Trump Tower.

So, what are President Obama’s crimes?

First, President Obama is smarter than Donald Trump. President Obama is better looking. President Obama is cooler. President Obama is was a much better president than Donald Trump. And…people like President Obama a hell of a lot more than they will EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER………EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER…like Donald Trump.

President Obama never created a crisis. President Obama never had personal scandals. President Obama never conducted tweetstorms. President Obama never accused his opponents of being criminals. President Obama never called people, especially those in law enforcement, “human scum.” President Obama never legitimized dictators. President Obama never kissed Vladimir Putin’s ass. President Obama never downplayed a pandemic. President Obama never lost over 33 million American jobs. President Obama never lost over 82,000 American lives.

Mitch McConnell, that failure of a Senate Majority Leader, cried during an online chat with Lara Trump (really?), over President Obama. McTurtle Moscow Mitch said, “Clearly the Obama administration did not leave to this administration any kind of game plan for something like this.” Except, that’s exactly what President Obama did.

President Obama didn’t just leave a “game plan.” President Obama’s Security Council left a 69-page “game plan” titled, the “Playbook for Early Response to High-Consequence Emerging Infectious Disease Threats and Biological Incidents.” In fact, President Obama warned of future pandemics during a speech. President Obama said a global pandemic could strike us in five years. When was this speech? FIVE years ago.

Let me repeat that: President Obama left a “game plan” book for future pandemics and predicted FIVE years ago that a pandemic could hit us in FIVE years. Also, Donald Trump has been president (sic) for the past three-plus years. Ugh. The only obstacle for the Trump administration with that “game plan” book is that it has words and pages and requires reading. Reportedly, there’s not one pop-up or photo of Donald Trump in that book to get Donald Trump’s attention. Thanks, Obama.

Donald Trump howls that President Obama didn’t leave him a vaccine for Covid-19, despite there not being a Covid-19 in existence at that time. President Obama also didn’t leave a game plan to prepare for Godzilla and Martians. Republicans also cry President Obama didn’t leave a stockpile of medical supplies, despite the fact they were the ones who voted against and prevented him from doing so.

It’s funny. When the GOP complains other people didn’t help them prepare for the pandemic, they’re admitting their response is a disaster. When they complain President Obama didn’t prepare for them, they ignore the unfortunate fact they’ve had the White House for the past three and a half years.

When they complain President Obama didn’t prepare them for a pandemic, they’re admitting Donald Trump isn’t qualified to handle a pandemic. By their argument, President Obama should have realized, years before 2016, that a nutless orange shitgibbon would become President (sic) of the United States of America, so we better prepare for that. President Obama failed in not preparing the government to handle a racist toddler in the White House. President Obama should have prepared because obviously, leaving the likes of Donald Trump and Republicans in charge is like leaving the dog to babysit. Except, the dog probably wouldn’t throw the baby in jail and give all the groceries to corporations. Also, the dog wouldn’t be nearly as racist as Donald Trump and Republicans.

President Obama did prepare for a pandemic. Donald Trump did not. When Donald Trump was in the casino business, Donald Trump failed to prepare for the disaster that is Donald Trump. Donald Trump’s daddy spent millions attempting to bail out Trump’s failing casinos and now Donald Trump is complaining President Obama didn’t bail him out on the pandemic. But, Donald Trump still put his name on those stimulus checks.

Currently, Donald Trump’s case of hiding his taxes from the American public is before the Supreme Court. We never had that problem with President Obama because he never hid his taxes.

It is not President Obama’s fault he’s better than Donald Trump. It’s not his fault he’s smarter, cooler, better looking, is more accomplished, more eloquent, and has more class than Donald Trump. It’s not President Obama’s fault Donald Trump and Republicans do not know how to govern. Who knew a racist reality TV show host who steals from charities and bankrupts casinos would be a disaster as president. Oh, yeah. President Obama knew because he predicted that too when he said Donald Trump is “uniquely unqualified” for the presidency. He also made a prediction personally to Donald Trump when he advised, “do NOT hire Michael Flynn.”

When asked by a reporter what crime President Obam committed that qualifies at the “biggest crime in American history,” Donald Trump said, “You know what the crime is. The crime is very obvious to everybody.”

It sure is obvious. Just like Ahmaud Arbery’s crime was obvious to those two racist Georgia rednecks.

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