NYPrimary

Slurpee Trump

This is not my newest cartoon for newspapers and assorted web clients of mine. It’s just me goofing on my tablet again (drawn in ArtRage) while waiting for tonight’s campaign coverage from New York.

I thought Trump’s gaffe from yesterday where he mistakenly said “seven 11” instead of “9/11,” was amusing. It’s not really something I wanted to hit him hard on. Everyone has had that moment, especially those who do a lot of public speaking. Remember Obama’s “57 states”? It’s the stuff Trump actually intends to say that is really idiotic.

I still think it’s amusing. There are a lot of “never forget” memes circulating on social media today. The idea of Trump with Slurpee hair was amusing to me, and could be another explanation for whatever the hell it is he has going on up there.

Now I really want a slurpee…and not one of those Trump slurpees.

This is another reason people should subscribe to my blog or follow me on Twitter. I will throw out little extras here now and then that you won’t find at my usual client sites. Now that I said that I’ll probably send it to my clients anyway. Some of them really like the goofy, silly stuff.

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Enlightened New York

Honestly, I think Cruz voters might be more radical, extreme, delusional, and in need of psychotherapy than Trump voters, but nobody in New York is going to be seen wearing a Cruz T-shirt.

There’s an impression that New York Republicans are more fiscally conservative than socially conservative and are not lunatics believing in birtherism and such. That is the wrong impression. They may not go for a religious zealot from Texas who was born in Canada, but they did make Tea Partier Carl Paladino their nominee for the governorship. Paladino is a homophobic right-wing nut-job who loves to send out sexist and racist emails to friends. He lost in a landslide to the eventual governor Andrew Cuomo.

Trump may be leading in a landslide against John Kasich and Ted Cruz (who’s going to come in third Tuesday), because he’s from New York, but New York Republicans are still supporting a maniac.

New York is full of highly educated professionals. They are considered intelligent, progressive, and enlightened. There are over 19 million people living in the state of New York. Fewer than three million are Republicans. Go figure that one out.

Stupid People Time

There’s one really good rule for white people when it comes to telling a joke about black people. Don’t. Since this particular example is from a “black” joke, let’s not overlook that it’s probably not cool to ever make jokes about any race. Hey, while you’re at it how about cutting it out with the gay jokes? And all those conservatives sharing their favorite transgender bathroom joke on Facebook this week, you’re a clear example of why conservatives aren’t ever funny. Well not intentionally. Ted Cruz once brought a lawsuit to stop sex toys from being sold in Texas and that’s pretty funny.

You can call it political correctness not to make racists, homophobic, sexists, or misogynistic jokes. I just think it’s not being a jerk. If your sophistication and taste in humor hasn’t advanced beyond a high school sophomore then you probably shouldn’t be discussing politics…or running for the presidency.

Hillary Clinton and New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio did a little skit where he referenced “CP Time.” That’s slang for “colored people” time. He was referring to his delay in endorsing Clinton and what “CP” actually meant was “Cautious Politician.” They are catching some Hell.

Sometimes a joke is so good and you realize it’s harmless that it’s worth the risk. This was not that joke. It wasn’t a good joke. It wasn’t funny. It was cringe worthy. When I draw a cartoon that I know is going to offend people and even be somewhat dangerous, I make sure it’s making a good point…or at least really funny. Yeah, that joke didn’t do any of that. It really wasn’t worth it.

Obama made a colored people time joke once. But Obama can do that. If you don’t know why, then you are an idiot and should stop reading my blog and never return here ever again.

I don’t care if you have the black vote, black friends, black kids, a black wife, dated blacks, watched Roots 17 times, or if you’re Rachel Dolezal. White people should not tell black jokes. And I’m whiter than any of you so take my word for it.

Clinton and de Blasio are not racists. They committed the sin that most white people will commit at some point in their lives, usually more than once. They are so comfortable with African Americans that they relaxed to the point they think it’s OK to make that joke. They believe they’ll get a free pass. To that, I don’t think they actually offended anyone and instead shocked the audience at their stupidity. They made people cringe and shake their heads. Now if it had been funny and had a point, well then things might be different.

Oompa Loompas, on the other hand, have a very poor lobby so making fun of Donald Trump’s chosen skin tone is still OK.

Please try to give the coloring in this cartoon extra attention because I had to color it twice. After I finished coloring (the first time) the program crashed just as I was trying to save it. It takes me longer to color a cartoon now because I switched things up and the program is new. It is teaching me save as I work which is always a good idea with anything on a computer. I can’t count the number of times I lost a blog entry just as I was…

Losing With Grace

Ted Cruz and Bernie Sanders won their respective primaries in Wisconsin. They each won by healthy margins. Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump both responded to their losses. Not sure if John Kasich made a statement but he’s not important anymore anyway, so nobody cares.

Clinton sent out a statement congratulating Sanders while still touting her lead. Candidates do that. They keep hope alive with their supporters.

Donald Trump issued a statement also. His was less than cordial. His read:

“Donald J. Trump withstood the onslaught of the establishment yet again. “Lyin’ Ted Cruz had the Governor of Wisconsin, many conservative talk radio show hosts, and the entire party apparatus behind him. Not only was he propelled by the anti-Trump Super PAC’s spending countless millions of dollars on false advertising against Mr. Trump, but he was coordinating with his own Super PAC’s (which is illegal) who totally control him. Ted Cruz is worse than a puppet— he is a Trojan horse, being used by the party bosses attempting to steal the nomination away from Mr. Trump. We have total confidence that Mr. Trump will go on to win in New York, where he holds a substantial lead in all the polls, and beyond.”

Yes, I’m surprised as you. Trump knows the big word “apparatus.”

There’s many things wrong with his statement. First he starts by bragging about himself. Then he goes into “Lyin’ Ted.” Classy. Then he accuses the guy of violating election laws before he goes back to calling him a name again, trojan horse. But you know what? He’s not entirely wrong.

The establishment is backing Cruz, the candidate who once billed himself as anti establishment. Of course, he also insulted all of New York and he’s now in that state groveling for votes and trying to sell that his “New York Values” comment meant something other than an attack on all New Yorkers (or Jews).

The establishment, talk radio guys, and the entire party’s “apparatus” are backing Cruz and trying to prevent Trump from acquiring the number of delegates he needs to secure the nomination. They don’t care if Cruz gets the delegates needed (and they probably don’t want him to either. They’re pretty confidant he can’t). The mission is to stop Trump and that’s it. When the convention rolls around they will toss Cruz aside. Ted Cruz does not know this yet as the man is not humble and is oblivious to obvious things.

I don’t expect Trump, Cruz, or even Kasich (snicker) to be the Republican nominee. They will recruit Paul Ryan, who insists he doesn’t want it like he insisted he didn’t want to be Speaker of the House.

That may not come true but I have another prediction where I’m very confidant: The next two weeks with the candidates battling in New York, the center of the media universe, is going to be a total blast for me. I wish I was there.

claytoonz

Nationally Syndicated Editorial Cartoonist