Nuclear

Best Marshmallow Ever


cjones04182017

Did you know that North Korea has an official Twitter account in English? It’s really difficult to understand. It’s like following Donald Trump’s Twitter.

North Korea celebrated the birth of its founding ruler yesterday, or today. I’m not sure anymore since they changed their time zone from what is internationally recognized. Insanity isn’t just setting your country years behind the rest of the world, it’s setting your clocks back thirty minutes. And you thought Daylight Savings Time was annoying.

Not only is North Korea behind South Korea by thirty minutes, their “Juche” calendar doesn’t recognize time before 1912, the year of the birth of Kim II-sung, the founding leader. So 2017 in North Korea is year Juche 106. Now you know more about North Korea than our president.

While you’re thinking that they’re really nuts with their Dear Leader, crazy times, silly years, massive parades with missiles overcompensating, and you DO NOT want to try the Koryo burger, but keep in mind that’s exactly the type of parade our Duh Leader wanted on inauguration day.

During our election campaign right wing wackos were spreading fear of war between the U.S. and Russia if Hillary Clinton was elected. Those fears were brought up again after Trump launched missiles into Syria. I’ve also seen articles recently about a possible war with China. I’m not worried about either of those hypothetical situations.

North Korea is scary. They’ve been scary for years. What amazes me is that our president scares me more. Trump is launching missiles, dropping huge bombs on caves, and sending what he called an “armada” of ships to the Korean peninsula while tweeting that the DPRK is “looking for trouble.”

This is kinda like high school when the two toughest kids wanted to fight. But in this case it’s the two dumbest kids. Trump seems to enjoy dropping bombs and they sure seem to distract us from his connections with Russia. His son, Junior, likes it too as the spoiled trust fund baby who never enlisted was cheering Daddy Duhbucks on from Twitter.

North Korea believes any strike against them will be meant to topple their government. How does America go to war with North Korea without starting a war? It’s complicated.

What inspired this cartoon wasn’t just stupid Republicans praising Trump for his war mongering, but also many in the media and the left. MSNBC’s Brian Williams described the missiles flying toward Syria as beautiful. Nice job on joining the complicit, Brian.

As President Tiny Penis leads us to Armageddon, I think about everyone who voted for him.

Thanks a lot, fuckers.

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North Korean Barbecue


cjones09132016

I needed to take a break from drawing cartoons about Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and campaign 2016. A few of my clients will appreciate the break also. I’m going to attempt to make it two cartoons in a row as long as something incredibly stupid doesn’t happen on the campaign trail tomorrow.

The danger of Iran having nuclear weapons is they might be evil enough to use them. With North Korea it’s that they might be crazy enough. It would really suck to watch capitols obliterated because of a Seth Rogen movie. Those things have hurt enough people already.

The richter scale measurement from their fifth nuclear test shows their weapons are becoming more powerful. The biggest concern is their developing the technology to make their nukes small enough to put in missiles, even those fired from submarines.

While North Korea has over 800 ships in their navy they’re so limited that it’s virtually impossible for a ship on one coast to visit their other coast. But can they fire a nuclear missile that can reach Seoul, Tokyo, Honolulu, or even Seattle?

The U.S. and South Korea are ready to deploy an advanced anti-missile system in the South to counter the North’s missile threat. China and Russia both oppose this but screw those guys.

It might be time to look at options other than sanctions and flying U.S. B-1 bombers near the DPRK’s border. The United States removed their nuclear weapons from South Korea in 1991 after signing an agreement with the North to remove all nukes from the peninsula. Some in the South want them to return which is probably a better idea than the one Trump has, which is for South Korea and Japan to have their own.

The world doesn’t need another crazy dictator with access to nukes anymore than we need another Seth Rogen movie.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Trump Goes Nuclear On Abortion


cjones03312016

Listening to Donald Trump speak about foreign policy, domestic policy, any sort of policy, is like listening to a middle school student give an oral book report on a book he never read.

“The sea is where the old man retired after he won the red badge of courage for killing the mockingbird. Then he caught a really big fish and named it ‘Ahab.'”

I doubt Trump ever read the book, but it sounds like he wants to put a scarlet letter on women who seek abortions. Or he doesn’t. It depends on the time of day. Trump said if abortion becomes illegal, then women who seek an abortion should be punished. Later he said only the bad guy doctors should be punished. Even his fellow Republicans said it was stupid to go after the mothers, though I suspect the anti-choice crowd would be just fine with that.

State representatives in Louisiana and Iowa introduced bills that would charge a woman with “feticide” if she got an abortion. Many states are enacting or exploring “personhood” for a fetus legislation. The step after that would be to punish mothers. Trump is not the first Republican to talk about punishing women for getting an abortion.

I doubt Trump knows that if you give an illegal abortion today that the doctor will be punished. But there’s a lot Trump does not know.

Trump also talked about nuclear weapons. He won’t say he’ll never use them on ISIS, which is kinda stupid. Cruz has the stupid line of carpet bombing ISIS, yet Trump makes that look semi intelligent.

Trump said the United States shouldn’t spend so much protecting other nations and perhaps should even quit NATO. A lot of people will agree with that. He then stated that other countries should pay us for protection, as if we’re the mob. He also says it’ll be OK if Japan, South Korea and Saudi Arabia develop nuclear weapons, and stated it’s going to happen eventually anyway. No it’s not. Trump is truly an idiot.

Japan has the technology and materials to build nuclear weapons. They can easily develop a delivery method that surpasses current bomb owners such as North Korea, Pakistan, and India. The thing about Japan is that they don’t want this weapon. They won’t even allow the United States to keep nuclear weapons on Japanese soil (and I wonder if we don’t have any there on the sly). I don’t think Saudi Arabia has much interest in building a bomb or going to war. Hell, they won’t even fight ISIS. South Korea probably won’t go for a nuclear weapon (and they could probably do it too) and start a real arms race.

In 1979 someone tested a nuclear bomb over the Indian Ocean. No country has claimed credit for this but it’s pretty much globally agreed that the offending nation was South Africa with help from Israel (you know, the good guys). South Africa claims it’s abandoned its nuclear program and Israel won’t admit to having any.

Every U.S. president since Truman has worked to prevent other nations from having nuclear weapons. A Trump administration would encourage it.

A lot of Trump supporters are saying he was taken advantage by the interviewer, which was MSNBC’s Chris Matthews. They’ve painted Matthews as this ultra-intelligent manipulator. Have they ever watched Chris Matthews? He might be the most confused and out of his element guy to ever have his own show since Larry King. If Trump is going to be stumped by Matthews then maybe he is afraid of Ted Cruz, and should be petrified of Hillary Clinton.

Then again, Trump did a radio show this week and he wasn’t aware the host was a member of the #NeverTrump movement. Maybe he should fire his campaign manager.

You know how Obama critics say he’s destroying the country? Trump might actually destroy the world.

And he’d probably drop a bomb on your uterus.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!