Notre Dame

Notre Dumbass


While I’m a cynical and skeptical person who is not religious, I can appreciate the significance of Notre Dame (if you’re a Republican, I’m not talking about the college football team in Indiana). But still, I didn’t think the world needed one more crying gargoyle cartoon.

Yesterday, while the over 800-year-old cathedral in Paris was burning, America’s greatest embarrassment tweeted out some advice on how to fight fires. Seriously, dumpster fires shouldn’t be giving out firefighting advice. Trump tweeted that firefighters “must act quickly.” How observant. Then, he suggested that they used “flying water tankers.” I’m mostly shocked he didn’t suggest invisible flying water tankers.

Later, at an event in Minnesota, Trump said, “They don’t know what caused it. They say renovation, and I hope that’s the reason. Renovation? What’s that all about?” OK, if you’re a Republican, “renovate” means to restore something old, like a building, to a good state of repair.

The French shot down Trump’s suggestion, probably before they even heard it. Did you hear his advice on deterring California wildfires? Rake the forests. Seriously. He claimed that’s how Finland, a very treeish country combats it. The Finns are still laughing at us (if you’re a Republican, “Finns” are people from Finland).

The French civil defense department sent out a tweet, while not addressing Trump, said, “All means are being used, except for water-bombing aircrafts which, if used, could lead to the collapse of the entire structure of the cathedral.” Trump’s lucky the tweet didn’t end with, “Tête de noeud,” which is a great way to describe Trump and all his sycophants.

Trump continues to be an international embarrassment. He’s making us look like a bunch of overweight, red-meat-eating, super-sizing, science-denying, illiterate troglodytes. If uneducated deplorables, the Russians, and the kink in our system keeps Trump in power after 2020, I’m afraid the rest of the world will wash their hands of us.

I’ve always doubted the existence of a god, but I have to ask, what sort of god would allow one of his most cherished cathedrals to burn and let someone like Donald Trump be the most powerful man in the world? Maybe there is a god and he’s just really bored and this is a sick joke. As bad as the French may be feeling right now, I’d trade them Trump for a few burning cathedrals.

The bulk of Notre Dame and its artifacts was saved. It will take decades to rebuild from the fire. We Americans can relate. It’s going to take decades to recover from this dumpster fire.

Be Complicit

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