New Jersey

Son Of A Beach


You really can’t blame Chris Christie too much for wanting to go to the beach on his day off from making Big Mac runs for Donald Trump. You also might consider it in the public’s best interest to close the beach if Christie plans to wear a Speedo. Nevertheless, it’s really bad optics to exercise your privilege while the beaches are closed to the public.

New Jersey’s state government had a shutdown (that was resolved Monday night) because Governor Christie and the legislature couldn’t come to an agreement over the state budget. The shutdown closed many state services, including state parks which Island Beach is one of. This left the beach to be enjoyed by Christie and his family alone.

Contrary to popular belief, some beaches in Jersey are nice. Not all of them are littered with hypodermic needles and used diapers.

Christie first tried to deny he was on the beach. He replied “no” when a reporter asked him if he got any sun. A spokesman later said he wasn’t lying, and gave a Trumponian Kelly Conway type of explanation that he was wearing a baseball cap.

Christie later argued that he wasn’t going to cancel weeks of planning because of the shutdown. Screw New Jersey families’ plans, as long as the governor gets to be a bum in the sun. There is an official governor’s residence on the island and Christie said, “that’s just the way it goes. Run for governor, and you can have a residence.”

Christie has never exercised good judgement optics. We’re all familiar with “BridgeGate,” where his staff shutdown a heavily used bridge to punish a political opponent.

In the past he’s told constituents who were questioning him to “sit down and shut up.” In the past he’s used a state helicopter to attend his son’s baseball game. He was spotted celebrating a Dallas Cowboys’ victory in owner Jerry Jones’ luxury sky box (never mind the bad taste of being a New Jersey Cowboys fan….or a Cowboys fan from anywhere).

That sort of judgement is why Christie’s presidential run was a joke, and he was left endorsing Trump and making Big Mac runs for the man who would eventually deny his bid to be his vice president. Today, his approval rating is the lowest of any governor in the nation at 15%. Chris Christie is less popular than Gonorrhea from Ted Cruz.

In 2008, Republicans nationwide wanted Christie to run for President. Today, they still want him to run, not for president but somewhere out of camera site and public office.

Chris Christie has spent his time as governor giving himself privileges. The citizens of New Jersey will be privileged when he leaves office.

Creative Notes: I always liked the seagulls in Finding Nemo. When the movie was new, I was at a poker game and I would quote those nasty birds each time I won a hand and collected the pot with “mine, mine, mine.” That ceased to be amusing about the tenth time I did it and I stopped when someone threatened to stick something sharp into my jugular. But I still found it funny. Seagulls really are nasty birds and just flying vermin. I still kinda like them though.

I’m not sure if readers will be that familiar with the seagulls saying “mine,”  and a friend couldn’t remember anything about them when I asked her. But I was too tickled by this not to do it. I didn’t tell her my idea but I’ll show this to her later today when a bunch of us are grilling.

If you see another cartoonist steal this idea, just remember that it’s mine, mine, mine, mine.

Happy Independence Day.

It’s really hard being a one-man syndicate when editors (who receive death threats from Trump supporters) are afraid of cartoons with opinions, while I’m also competing against other syndicates with dozens of cartoonists (who offer lots of right-wing cartoons and the kind without any opinions). So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $50 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.