Mystery Machine

Ruh-Roh Rudy


While on his “rogue” tour of Europe seeking conspiracy theories to aid Trump’s reelection and impeachment defense, Rudy Giuliani blew the “no quid pro quo” defense out of the water.

From Ukraine, where he refused to admit he was after admitting he was there, Rudy tweeted, “The conversation about corruption in Ukraine was based on compelling evidence of criminal conduct by then VP Biden, in 2016, that has not been resolved and until it is will be a major obstacle … to the US assisting Ukraine with its anti-corruption reforms.”

In case you’re a Republican, let me point out where he blew up your defense. He said if Biden’s “criminal conduct” isn’t resolved, then it will be a “major obstacle” to the U.S. assisting Ukraine with anti-corruption reforms. He’s demanding a quid pro quo for made-up dirt on Joe Biden.

First, there is no evidence that Joe Biden, or even Hunter, engaged in any corruption. If Rudy has evidence of that then he should reveal it. Second, it doesn’t help the argument that Trump didn’t seek election help from a foreign nation while his private goon is skulking across foreign nations seeking election help. And, he’s doing it during the impeachment inquiry. Third, during the conversation Rudy is referring to, Trump never said the word “corruption.”

Seriously, if Rudy Giuliani is your knight in shining armor you’re depending on to save you, you’re pretty much fucked. Maybe better proof that Trump isn’t all there mentally than his rant about flushing toilets is his continued reliance on Rudy Giuliani.

When asked by The Blaze’s Eric Bolling ( who may or may not have been fired from Fox News for sending pics to staffers of his penis), if he was in Ukraine, Rudy said, “I am not here to…I don’t have to defend myself.”

Traveling while producing a documentary for a right-wing network that’s not Fox News, Rudy wouldn’t confirm he’s in Ukraine, but several Ukrainian conspiracy theorists tweeted photos of them hanging out with the former mayor. He also met with pro-Russian Ukrainians who support that nation’s annexation of Crimea. And, he met with the prosecutor whom the entire western world considered corrupt. Rudy calling for investigations into corruption while hanging out with corrupt people is kinda like Donald Trump promising to drain the swamp. If these guys were looking for Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman’s killer, they’d hire O.J. to conduct the investigation.

Part of the Republicans’ defense against impeachment are conspiracy theories. They are trying to build a case that Joe Biden is corrupt and that Ukraine meddled in our 2016 election, neither of which has any evidence to support it.

Some Republicans who aren’t totally insane are not happy with Rudy’s “meddling” in Ukraine. Dan Eberhart, a prominent Republican donor and Trump supporter, said, “The fact that Giuliani is back in Ukraine is like a murder suspect returning to the crime scene to live-stream themselves moon dancing.”

This is Trump and Giuliani’s narcissism. They’re refusing to admit they did something wrong, so they’re defending themselves by doubling down, doing it again and tweeting out photos of it. It’d be like Eric Bolling texting, “I never sent anyone any wiener pics” in a text with a wiener pic.

These people are idiots. The man in charge of Trump’s Ukraine mission conducts a call with Trump on a cell phone in a Russian hot spot for spies, Rudy won’t say he’s in Ukraine while the people he’s meeting in that nation are tweeting out photos of it, they tell us there’s no quid pro quo while demanding a quid pro quo, and Devin Nunes is sitting on a panel investigating this scam after he participated in it.

When Scooby and the gang pull off the mask of this monster, the villain will be Trump…or Devin Nunes…or Rudy Giuliani…or…

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