White Jesus


Laura, one of my proofreaders, told me after I sent this in its very rough stage this morning, she had to look up the story to see what I was talking about? What am I talking about? I told her there wasn’t a specific story. This was my analysis criticizing all the defenders of racist monuments to the Confederacy. I’m merely pointing out their hypocrisy and stupidity. But nope…there is a story.

Shaun King is a Black Lives Matter activist who’s no stranger to controversy. There are a lot of people on the left and in the BLM movement who aren’t fans of his. Mostly because he’s been accused of hosting fundraisers and then pocketing the money for himself. Do you know who does do that? Donald Trump. Don’t be like Donald Trump.

In the wake of calls to remove statues of Confederate leaders, Christopher Columbus, racist presidents like Andrew Jackson, and even good presidents like Theodore Roosevelt, Shaun King let out a call to remove statues of Jesus Christ. To be specific, he wants statues of WHITE Jesus Christ to be destroyed.

Shaun King said, “If your religion requires Jesus to be a blondehaired blue eyed Jesus, then your religion is not Christianity, but white supremacy. Christian whiteness, not white Christianity, has been the primary religion of this country for hundreds of years.” He also said, “In the Bible, when the family of Jesus wanted to hide, and blend in, guess where they went? EGYPT! Not Denmark.”

Shaun King may not be a guy you want on your side in a cause, but he’s right on this. How in the hell can anyone believe Jesus was white? Because you think God was white?

Now, King is receiving death threats from…wait for it…white people. They’re upset he’s coming after White Jesus and are accusing him of coming after all of Christianity. That proves Mr. King’s point. If you think coming after White Jesus is coming after Christianity…yeah, your religion is white supremacy.

That’s like saying someone who hates fruitcake hates Christmas. Are you praying to the fruitcake?

I’m not a Christian though I was raised as one. I’m very familiar with Christianity. I was even forced to attend a private Baptist school for a year in Georgia. Southern Georgia. Guess how many black kids went to that school in 1982. I’ve paid my penance. Even though I’m not a Christian and I don’t believe in the Bible god, I’m pretty sure of this: Religion doesn’t have a race or color.

I think churches should change their statues of White Jesus on the cross. But we can’t make them. The government can’t make them. Your organization can’t make them. First off, if there are any images of Jesus on government property, I don’t care what color he is, he shouldn’t be there. There’s that entire separation of church and state thing. The government is not supposed to sponsor a specific religion even though it does it all the time, especially in the south.

There is a huge, giant, enormous Confederate flag on Interstate 95 between Fredericksburg and Woodbridge, Virginia. It’s ugly. It’s offensive. My ex, Amanda, was asked by her niece, who is a child and of mixed race, what that flag stood for. I’m glad she didn’t ask me. It’s a monument to racism. it’s vile and ugly that it has to be explained to a child, whether it’s “a monument to hatred toward you,” or “hate is your heritage.” It sucks. But, it’s on private property. There has been controversy over the flag for years but there is nothing anyone can do about it except for the guy who owns it. It’s his flag on his property. It sucks we have to look at it and no, you can’t close your eyes while driving or you might crash into it.

NASCAR banned the Confederate flag at its races but that doesn’t stop racist people from selling the racist image to racist consumers outside the venues.

We have freedom of speech in this nation. And just like racist fuckers can’t stop you from kneeling during the national anthem or from burning an American flag, you can’t take down a church’s statue of blonde hair, blue-eyed White Jesus. My personal solution to that is, don’t go to church.

White Jesus doesn’t really offend me because I don’t go to church, I think your religion is a superstition, you’re praying to something that doesn’t exist, so I think your monument is as false as your religion. You can put a cow on that cross and pray to it for all I care. Maybe that’s something Hindus do.

I do believe Jesus existed and he was not white. I don’t believe he was the son of God so your monument to him is false. I just want you to see the hypocrisy when you argue that statues and monuments should stay up because they honor your heritage and history. Based upon your White Jesus statue, your heritage and history is full of shit.

Basically, in regards to history, heritage, and culture, your credibility on the subject matter sucks. You guys argue the monuments are history, but you don’t know your history. You refuse to acknowledge the fact the Civil War was fought by the South to preserve slavery. Taking the statues down won’t make you dumber because you’re already there.

The only thing that really offends me about your White Jesus, is what you’re teaching your children. If it’s anything like your “southern heritage,” you’re teaching your children to be racist.

That said, all these hate statues we want to be destroyed are on government property. There should not be government-endorsed monuments to racism. Even White Jesus would probably agree with that. White Jesus wouldn’t like the monument to racism in the Oval Office. My bad. The TWO monuments to racism in the Oval Office.

I think the hardest thing for conservative racists to do is to confront facts. One fact they hate and they’re trying to cover up is that they’re not praying to a white deity…except when they’re praying to Donald Trump.

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Confederate Monuments


New Orleans, Louisiana (my home state) is removing monuments to the Confederacy from within the city. The type of people who continue to fly Confederate flags and scream “heritage, not hate” are upset.

The outrage is so intense that the monuments are being removed late at night under police protection. The company hired to remove the statues are even putting tape over their logos on their vehicles out of safety and concern over loss of business.

The first of four monuments, the Battle of Liberty Place, was removed early Monday morning. The battle being memorialized by that particular monument isn’t even from the Confederacy. It was an insurrection by the Crescent City White League against the Reconstruction state government in 1874, nearly ten years after the Civil War ended. The monument was erected in 1891 in praise of the racist insurrection as the city and state at that time was in the process of disenfranchising blacks. Nice memorial you’re fighting for there, Whities.

The other three monuments, Confederate President Jefferson Davis, Generals Robert E. Lee, and P.G.T. Beauregard will be removed in the near future on unspecified dates. You know the current White League will be conducting surveillance on each of those so they’ll know when they’re coming down.

Speaking of old monuments named “Beauregard,” one old codgy monument that needs to be removed but is firmly in place is our current Attorney General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions. You would think a Southerner from with a name like “Jefferson Beauregard” would be a little more cautious on matters with race. Not our Jefferson Beauregard.

Sessions has called the ACLU and NAACP “un-American” and that they were teaching “un-American” values. He has stated that the NAACP was “forcing Civil Rights down the throats of people.” He also said “You know the NAACP hates white people; they are out to get them. That is why they bring these lawsuits, and they are a commie group and a pinko organization as well.” Regarding the Ku Klux Klan, Sessions stated “I thought those guys were OK until I learned they smoked pot.” He’s also been accused of saying to a black colleaugue “You ought to be careful as to what you say to white folks.” The list goes on and on.

When Sessions was nominated for a federal judgeship in 1986, Coretta Scott King wrote a letter to Congress asking them to block his nomination. She wrote that allowing him to join the bench would “irreparably damage the work of my husband.” That is some serious stuff there.

And just last week Sessions, who loves the ideas of a border wall and kicking out brown people was upset that a judge in Hawaii (another state I lived and worked in) knocked down Trump’s travel ban on Muslims. Sessions “amazed that a judge sitting on an island in the Pacific can issue an order that stops the president of the United States from what appears to be clearly his statutory and Constitutional power.” Sessions ate a lot of crap for that and tried to defend his comments afterward. I don’t understand why a judge in Hawaii isn’t as legitimate as a judge in any other state, unless he’s upset that that “island in the Pacific” isn’t majority white.

These old Confederate dudes have a hard time letting go. Those people in New Orleans are upset over a statue coming down of Robert E. Lee and they cite history….yet disregard the fact that Lee never set foot in New Orleans.

They can’t let go of the Civil War which means that in two hundred years they’ll still be calling former South Carolina governor, and current ambassador to the U.N., Nikki Haley a traitor for removing the Confederate Battle Flag from her state’s Capitol grounds.

Here in Virginia a Republican running for governor had comments on the removal of the monuments in New Orleans. Corey Stewart, who’s actually from Minnesota, tweeted “It appears ISIS has won. They are tearing down historical monuments in New Orleans now too. It must end. Despicable!” If Mr. Stewart, and other Rebel flag waving freaks, lived in Germany, would they insist on monuments to Nazis and Hitler?

The Civil War is a complicated issue. Those who defend the flag and monuments argue that the war wasn’t fought over slavery. They’re half right. The North did not fight to end slavery. The South’s only reason was to fight for slavery. It was explicitly stated in many of the states’ Declarations of Secession.

If you want to continue to be an advocate for racism, that’s fine by me. Just don’t glorify it on government or public land. Put that sticker on your bumper. There is a place for Robert E. Lee, Jefferson Davis, Stonewall Jackson, and P.G.T. Beauregard. That place is a museum.

A museum is where we should also put Jefferson Beauregard Sessions.

Creative note: I’ve been itching to draw elfish Jeff Sessions sitting on a stack of books. After my last cartoon of him, where I placed him in a high chair, I’ve been afraid someone would steal it from me and use the stack-of-books idea before I could. I was the first cartoonist in the nation to give Trump an extra long tie and I was the first to put scotch tape on it. Yes, I’m standing by those two claims. So just remember I’m the first to have Sessions sitting on stuff. Next, he’ll be sitting on Trump’s lap….or Putin’s.

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