Michigan Primary

Bernie’s Pretty Little Unicorn


cjones03102016

I went a little Godfather on you here. After seeing that iconic scene when I was a kid, I’ve always thought that would be one of the most horrible ways to wake up. I’ve always wondered how it would be accomplished. I think if gangsters crept into my bedroom in the middle of the night with a chopped off horse head that I wouldn’t sleep through it.

I went with the unicorn here because I think most people will understand the mythical creature has been associated with Sander’s promises. They are mythical, right?

Bernie was supposed to be put away the other night. Instead, he defied the pollsters and stole Michigan away from Hillary. I’m sure that doesn’t chafe only Hillary, but the entire Democratic Party establishment. Let’s be real. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and the rest of the leadership want Hillary in place and ready for the Republican nominee. Bernie has the gall to slow that down and he’s not even a Democrat.

Hillary will win the nomination but the discussion we’re having now is great for democracy.

Short blog post again, folks. I’m still a bit under the weather but I feel better today than I did yesterday. I’m actually drinking coffee again.

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The Incredible Shrinking Rubio


cjones03092016

You’re not going to get much of a column today. I have a tiny cold and it’s really hard to care about much when you feel like giant rat turds. At one point I actually drooled on the drawing paper for this cartoon. As bad as I feel I’m sure Marco Rubio feels worse.

Marco had a bad night. Correction: Marco had ANOTHER bad night. The only primaries he’s won has been Minnesota and Puerto Rico. He didn’t just lose on Tuesday night. He lost big. There were four states holding Republican primaries which included Michigan, Idaho, Hawaii and Mississippi (where my career started) where Rubio was coming in fifth behind Ben Carson. FIFTH BEHIND BEN CARSON who’s not even in the race anymore. Rubio came in fourth in Michigan and Mississippi. At this writing Hawaii’s returns haven’t come in yet, but you really don’t want to be clinging all your hopes on Hawaii (where my career went after Mississippi).

Next Tuesday the race goes to Ohio and Florida. Rubio should be fighting for Ohio since he’s been endorsed by almost every establishment figure in the party. Instead he’s fighting desperately for his home state of Florida. That tells us a lot about his tenure as Florida’s senator since the voters of that state aren’t impressed enough by his service to give him more votes than Donald Trump. If Florida, who knows him, doesn’t want him then why should the rest of the country? Quite frankly, can anyone name an accomplishment of Rubio’s…other than finding great deals on heels?

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!