Marco

Hasta La Vista, Marco


cjones03162016

Marco Rubio has dropped out of the presidential race and it’s a tragedy that makes me very sad. I was just starting to enjoy drawing the religious zealot. The only candidate left promising to rule us all by the hand of God now is Ted Cruz. Did I just get a chill?

Rubio lost in his home state of Florida to Donald Trump. He didn’t just lose. He lost big. He only won one county, his home of Miami-Dade. It’s as if nobody in Florida had ever heard of their Senator…or in his case, they were very familiar with him and didn’t like what he had to offer, or his performance as Senator. Rubio started running for the presidency as soon as he won his senate seat.

I worked in Batesville, Mississippi for five years and in that time I probably talked in person to then Senator Trent Lott seven times. The mayor of Tampa said he never met Marco Rubio.

Now Rubio can spend the next four years running for the presidency in 2020, but not on the taxpayer’s dime. I’m sure he’ll get plenty of job offers from think tanks and consulting firms.

I am going to miss his bottles of water and platform heels. I won’t miss his condescending tone of speech. Being humbled may be good for Marco. Let’s hope it’s a lesson his rival Ted Cruz learns very soon…and after that Donald Trump. Who am I kidding? These people don’t have the ability of understanding reality to be humbled.

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Republican Fun With Photoshop


cjones02202016

We all know Ted Cruz is sleazy and is running the dirtiest campaign of anyone currently seeking the presidency. That’s in addition to his general all around creepiness and unlikeability. On the day of the Iowa caucus he told supporters that Ben Carson had dropped out, and he hadn’t. This week his campaign circulated a fake photo of Marco Rubio shaking hands with President Obama. Rubio freaked out.

Is that what it’s come to? Being seen with the president of the United States can be used against you? Marco Rubio is a sitting United States senator, as is Ted Cruz. It would seem you wouldn’t have a hard time finding a photo of a senator and the president together, even of Rubio despite his rare trips to do his job in Washington. But no. Being seen with Obama can be used against you (ask Chris Christie). And they say the president is the divisive one.

I’m also amazed the media has focused more on the photoshopping of the picture and not on the absurdity of  the fear of an Obama connection. Yeah, being seen with Obama can tarnish your reputation with conservatives but Ted Cruz can hang out with the Duck Dynasty dude and pastors who advocate killing homosexuals. I don’t know if I’m freaked out more by the candidates, or people who consider voting for them.

I don’t see what’s so scandalous about being seen with the president of the United States. Any president. I can definitely see people not wanting to be seen or associated with Ted Cruz.

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Chatty Marco


cjones02082016

Chatty Cathys haven’t been made since the 1950’s but everyone knows what they are. It’s a pretty good insult for someone who won’t get off the phone…or shut up. The Rubio campaign should love this comparison.

Marco Rubio is a very talented politician. Of course being a talented politician doesn’t always mean you’re talented at accomplishments. You may only be talented at running for office. For years people in politics, members of both parties, have made accusations that Rubio is a talking points kind of guy. He’s good in a debate, giving a speech, conducting an interview, but he’s not good if he has to stray from the talking points, or if he runs out of them.

Chris Christie has been harping about this for a while but nobody’s been listening because he’s Chris Christie. He finally got his chance during Saturday’s GOP debate. Rubio went into his talking point about “Obama knowing what he’s doing and he’s transforming the country, blah blah blah.” Christie said “there it is. That’s his “memorized 25-second speech.” Marco responded by repeating the same talking point and Christie nailed him with an interruption and pointing out he was doing the speech again. Shortly after this exchange Rubio gave the same talking points again. Yikes. It as like going to see Skynyrd and they play “Free Bird” for two hours.

It’s the kind of thing that could be damaging. This could be hurtful on a Howard Dean Scream level.

This will probably hurt Rubio Tuesday night in the New Hampshire primary and not help Christie at all. Christie doesn’t get points because Rubio sucks. He’s just really good at being a bully and fun to watch while doing so.

Update and correction: A sharp reader of mine pointed out that Chatty Cathys were sold during the 1960’s, not the 1950’s as I had written. I actually went to the Wikipedia site for Chatty Cathy looking for information on it and still messed it up. I was born in the 1960’s but I don’t remember them (most people can’t remember that decade for other reasons). Plus, I never played with dolls for girls. I swear. I had superheroes, GI Joes, a Fonzie and even the Sweat Hogs from Welcome Back Kotter.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!