Lyson

Another Trump Cure


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Today’s blog is not for you. By that, I mean it’s not for those in my echo chamber or who agree with me that Donald Trump is unqualified to be president and is an idiot, racist, sexist, and narcissist who’s surrounded himself with yes men, stupid members of his family, and ass-kissing sycophants. No, today’s blog is for those ass-kissing sycophants. So, if you’re a Trump supporter, I’m talking to you. But, if you’re one of my usual readers, feel free to eavesdrop as I write a public letter to Trump supporters giving them all the respect they’re due.

Dear fucknuts,

I’ve seen a lot of you shitweasels defend Donald Trump’s latest line of bullshit that he wasn’t seriously suggesting people inject household disinfectants and UV light into their bodies.

I’ve seen a few of you on social media say it’s “fake news” to say he “suggested” the idea. It’s not. He truly suggested the idea. Some of you say it’s liberals who do stupid things like eat Tide Pods, except that wasn’t ever a liberal thing. I’ve seen one Trumplican say we shouldn’t worry about it and just let the idea of drinking Clorox get rid of stupid people…except the people who literally ingested fish tank cleaner, with one dying, were Trump supporters. They were not liberals.

While Trump said he was being sarcastic, he undercut Dr. Deborah Birx who said he was merely “musing.” While explaining he was just being sarcastic, he said to one reporter that he was looking directly at him while he was doing it…except that reporter wasn’t there during the suggestion.

As you go about your business covering for a liar and being liars yourselves in saying he’d never say something so stupid about injecting disinfectants, keep in mind, yeah he would. As a follower of mine on Twitter tweeted after seeing this cartoon, with Donald Trump, there really is no bottom.

Donald Trump has said a LOT of stupid shit. As a public service, I’ll recap some of it.

He believes in invisible airplanes. He thought Frederick Douglas was still alive. He didn’t know Puerto Rico was an island, or had a governor, or was a territory of the United States. He tweeted to the “President” of Puerto Rico when he IS the president (sic) of Puerto Rico. He didn’t know what the nuclear triad was and probably still doesn’t. He didn’t know Abraham Lincoln was a Republican and when he did find out, he shouted it from the rooftops as if all us didn’t already know.

He believes he built the great economy President Obama left, instead of inheriting a great economy that’s now lost over 26 million jobs under his “leadership.”

He thinks you need an I.D. to buy Fruit Loops. He thinks asbestos could have saved the World Trade Center from collapsing on 9/11 and it was the mafia that made us remove the stuff. And if that’s true about the mafia, thank you, mafia.

Donald Trump believes your body is like a battery and exercising uses infinite energy, as it depletes your energy and doesn’t renew. He thinks HIV and HPV are the same things. He thinks young people only pay $12 a year for health insurance.

He believes environmentally-friendly lightbulbs cause cancer and they make him look orange.

He thinks sleeping is bad and only sleeping 4 hours a night gives him a competitive edge. It also explains why he looks like he does, requires 7 pounds of makeup on his face, and has an Adderall-rattled brain that believes you need an I.D. to buy cereal.

He thinks vaccines cause autism, windpower kills millions of birds (no. Cats kill millions of birds), and the noise from wind turbines gives you “windmill cancer.”

He spent years telling us President Obama was born in Kenya.

Regarding the coronavirus, he said we had it under control, that the numbers would go down after the 15th case in the United States, it’s a Democratic hoax, it was only one person from China, it would magically disappear in April, we’re close to a vaccine, he called it the flu, said we don’t know what it is, said we have hundreds and even thousands who get better just by going to work, we could reopen the country by Easter, we’ve tested more than any other country, bragged about the ratings for his press briefings, and that anyone who needs a test gets a test.

And lastly, he was totally serious about injecting Clorox and Lyson into our bodies just like he was serious when he asked about dropping nuclear weapons on hurricanes.

Everything I just listed was defended by your stupid asses. When Donald Trump talks, we can’t believe one thing he says. When you defend his ridiculous lying and stupid bullshit, we don’t believe you either. You’re about as credible as Omarosa.

Back to my liberal friends: Some of you will say I could catch more flies with sugar. No, you catch flies with shit and why would I want to catch flies? But I get your point. Some of you believe I can reason better with Trump cultists by reasoning with them in a respectful and diplomatic manner and calling them “cultists,” “shitweasels,” “MAGAts,” and “fucknuts” is not how you reach out to them.

Have you met these people? You can’t reason with them. They are not reasonable. They are not people you can have an honest discussion with. They are not people willing to listen to facts. I’ve talked to some before who think it’s fake news that Donald Trump ever stole from a charity or that a court forced him to disband the charity, pay institutions, and blocked him from being involved with any charity for the next few years. Why reach out to people who aren’t reachable?

I give these people all the respect they are due…and they’re not due any. The truth is, while I can agree to disagree, I’m not disagreeing with people who don’t use facts. I don’t respect opinions built on lies and conspiracy theories. I don’t respect liars. I don’t respect people who use the term “fake news.” I don’t respect people for whom racism is not a deal-breaker. I don’t respect people who believe our nation should have such low standards. I don’t respect people who support ripping families apart, putting kids in jail, and forcing them into actions that kill them. I don’t respect Donald Trump’s supporters. These people have used an agenda of cruelty to help a racist reality TV host destroy our nation.

Today, they’re defending a president who suggested we inject Clorox into our bodies…and I don’t respect that.

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