Loyalty Pledge

Praise For Dear Leader


cjones06152017

You wonder why Trump and his sycophants can’t see how ridiculous it looks that they turned their cabinet meeting into a praise and worship session for Donald Trump, but then you look at his hair. No, he doesn’t know when he looks ridiculous. I half expect him to walk out of the White House one day wearing spandex pants with “Juicy” on the butt.

Donald Trump issued a denial that he demanded James Comey pledge his loyalty, then his cabinet conducts an ass-kissing parade. A man who paints himself orange won’t be able to see how that appears. He probably won’t be able to read how it will look if he fires Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

Every idiot who works for Trump, other than Defense Secretary James Mattis who hasn’t sacrificed every shred of dignity…yet, heaped praise on The Donald Monday during the first cabinet meeting attended by every member. It’s a daily routine for Vice-President Mike Pence who can’t give a speech without repeating the phrase “under the leadership of President Trump” at least 17 times. Pence probably oozes the fake praise in his sleep.

But if it seemed creepy and gross that the entire cabinet sat in a circle jerk for the prez, that’s because it is. It resembles the regime of North Korea, or a scene from Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles when his cabinet “harumphs” to one of his rants and Brooks, as the GOV, says “I didn’t get a ‘harumph’ out of that guy.”

The booty kissing started with Pence who said “The greatest privilege of my life is to serve as vice president to the president who’s keeping his word to the American people.” I wonder which word that was. Bigly? Yuge? Covfefe?

It was followed by Attorney General Jeff Sessions (who could be gone any day now and back in his tree making cookies) telling his Dear Leader it was an “honor” to serve him. At least when Monica served Bill Clinton, they shut the door.

Alexander Acosta, Secretary of Labor said “I am privileged to be here — deeply honored — and I want to thank you for your commitment to the American workers.” Are you feeling sick yet? Wait. There’s more!

Sonny Perdue, Secretary of Agriculture, just returned from Mississippi and told Trump how much they love him there.

Perhaps the most nauseating praise came from Chief of Staff Reince Priebus who might have confused Trump with God when he said “We thank you for the opportunity and the blessing to serve your agenda.” Pass the crackers and wine and let’s all hail Trump.

OK, I’m too nauseous to post the rest, but they all praised his integrity, his message, his strength, his policies, his blah blah blah, ugh. Trump nodded approvingly and if you watch a video of it, you’ll see his huge smile. It’s like a child at a birthday party, except this is a 70-year-old man-baby with nuclear weapons.

If nearly every cabinet member heaping praise on Trump wasn’t enough flattery, Trump followed suit by praising himself, which is not unique. It would be unique if he didn’t praise himself. Trump declared himself one of the most productive presidents in American history — perhaps Franklin D. Roosevelt could come close, he conceded — and proclaimed that he had led a “record-setting pace” of accomplishment. That may be true as he could be the president who’s impeached the quickest.

This sort of stuff never happened under other presidents’ cabinet meetings. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer mocked the meeting with a video of his own, which must have trolled the entire Trump administration. I wonder if any cabinet member did any dry heaving afterward.

Weird, crazy, confused, and mentally-dysfunctional former professional basketball player Dennis Rodman is in North Korea, again, where he’s probably giving Kim Jong Un plenty of “harumphs.” Rodman could be carrying a message for Kim from Trump. That’s great. Donald Trump has put the hope that there will not be a nuclear war in the hands of Dennis Rodman.

As for anyone in the Trump administration who doesn’t massage the man-baby’s ego, they better watch their ass.

What I will find very ironic is if Donald Trump, who is not smart or good enough, loses the presidency to Stuart Smalley.

Creative note: I asked a friend for her input on the “exfoliate” thing. I didn’t know if it was “foliate” or “exfoliate.” I figured she would know for sure since she has skin.

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Republican Loyalty


cjones04012016

I hate to use a cliche but a Republican loyalty pledge isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. For the love of God, this loyalty pledge was the very first question at the very first Republican debate. Now they’re all breaking it?

The GOP has been freaking out and in full-rage panic mode for the past few months. They are extremely afraid Donald Trump will be their nominee and not just lose the presidency, but lose the Senate and House in the process.

For months Ted Cruz has been running as an anti-establishment candidate. Today the establishment is coalescing around him and you don’t hear Ted bash the establishment anymore. The establishment is so fearful of Trump that their hero is Ted Cruz.

I don’t think they’re looking beyond the poll numbers of Trump versus Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders. Yes, the GOP stands to lose big with a Trump nomination but they could be in the same nasty chunky brown water with Cruz.

Nobody likes Cruz except for extremely scary people. The people who are scarier than those falling for Cruz as a last resort are those who loved the guy at the start of the race. When Cruz is in a race one-on-one with one of the Democrats his record and stance on the issues will have a brighter spotlight and nobody sane is going to like it.

This brings us to the Loyalty Pledge. At the beginning of the race the GOP was afraid of the possibility of Trump running an independent campaign in the general election if he didn’t win the nomination. So they came up with the Loyalty Pledge which each candidate signed swearing they would support the eventual nominee. Of course none of these freaks expected that nominee to be Super Freak. They expected him to implode at any time and yeah, we all did. He hasn’t.

It’s not just the current candidates who sucks at a promise. Many of those who dropped out threaten they won’t support Trump (except for Christie and Carson). All this after making a big deal about how Trump wouldn’t keep his word.

Trump can’t be counted on keeping his word but let’s throw him out of the mix since he’s a maniac and a pathological liar. Trump has promised, broken the promise, came back to re promise, then broke it and I’ve lose count. Look at the other two candidates.

John Kasich and Ted Cruz signed the thing. Kasich is saying he can’t support Trump and he’s probably not that crazy about supporting Cruz. Ted Cruz says he can’t support Trump, a man who has insulted his wife.

I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to support Donald Trump. I blame them for breaking their word. Ted Cruz was in love with Donald Trump. He was Trump’s remora, clinging to the side of his campaign and swimming in his wake to eat up his sloppy leftovers. The man couldn’t say enough nice things about Trump. Now he doesn’t like him. What changed? Did Trump just suddenly become a crazy, offensive human being last week? No. This isn’t new. Ted Cruz being a sleazy lying opportunistic piece of crap isn’t new either.

These guys like to talk about how Hillary lies. She is not the most honest candidate and frankly I’m not looking forward to a scandal plagued Clinton administration (real scandals with cabinet members having affairs, dallying with prostitutes, and hiring illegals from Ecuador. Not those fake Obama scandals Republicans create. The Clintons surround themselves with very shady people like Dick Morris). What would be supremely worse would be a Cruz, Trump or Kasich administration where they can’t keep any promise, except for those that destroy the nation like putting a Bork on the Court. It won’t matter if they swear on the Bible when they take their oath. I promise they will destroy the country.

I’m looking forward to the brokered convention when this pledge comes into play. Trump may not be the nominee as his party can change the rules, thus voiding out all the primary results. They’re in love with Cruz right now to keep Trump from getting enough delegates. Watch these traitors turn on Cruz at the convention and nominate someone who can wage a campaign and stop the bleeding against the Democrats.  The GOP may have secretly given up on the White House in 2016 and be fighting to keep Congress.

What’s the point of a loyalty pledge if you don’t have to keep it? What’s the point of believing in any of their promises if they can’t keep the most simple one? What is the point of giving us candidates you can’t believe in? I repeat, this was their very first promise at the very first debate. If you can’t keep your first promise you can’t be counted on to keep any.

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