Louie Gohmert

Coupers and Gropers


We have found out which members of Congress asked the White House for a pardon. The list includes Andy Biggs, Mo Brooks, Matt Gaetz, Louie Gohmert, Scott Perry, and Marjorie Taylor Greene. Each were part of the Big Lie that Trump “won” the election and helped try to overturn the election their party lost. Each are enemies of democracy and support fascism.

Trump’s former head of presidential personnel, Johnny McEntee, testified that Trump “had hinted at a blanket pardon for the Jan. 6 thing for anybody.” That’s exactly what Matt Gaetz asked for, a “blanket pardon.”

Eric Herschmann, a White House lawyer for Trump, testified that Gaetz asked for a blanket pardon like the one Richard Nixon got from President Ford for his coverup of Watergate. Herschmann testified, “He mentioned Nixon, and I said, ‘Nixon’s pardon was never nearly that broad.’” 

You probably know that Matt Gaetz is currently under an FBI investigation for sex trafficking minors. If he’s innocent of that then why would he request a pardon? Hmm?

Cassidy Hutchinson, a former adviser to Trump’s Chief-of-Staff Mark Meadoes, testified that Gaetz, Gohmert, Perry, and Biggs all expressed interest in pardons. She also testified that Jim Jordan of Ohio “talked about” pardons but did not directly ask for one, and that she heard of newly elected Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia also expressing interest to the White House Counsel’s Office. MTG should have gone to Jared.

Once upon a time, it would have been considered unfathomable to keep serving in Congress after admitting you committed a crime, because asking for a presidential pardon is a confession of guilt. There was a time when members of Congress wouldn’t have looked the other way or made excuses for their law-breaking colleagues, even if they were members of their own party. But now, the Republican Party is the party that tried to overturn an election and commit a coup. The GOP tried to destroy democracy…and they’re still trying.

And maybe Dan Snyder should ask for a pardon even though no criminal charges have been brought up on him yet.

Just like with the Trumpers who refuse to testify before the January 6 Committee investigating Trump’s coup attempt, Washington Commanders owner Daniel Snyder is refusing to testify before the House Oversight Committee about the “toxic” workplace environment he created at the team. Snyder is too busy being on a French vacation to testify which is like some crap a Trumper would come up with.

There is a culture among these people from Trump to Snyder that they’re too important and entitled to comply with a congressional subpoean.

Committee Chairwoman Carolyn Maloney says Snyder “himself fostered” the football team’s “toxic workplace” and then “conducted a shadow investigation to target his accusers, pin the blame on others, and influence the NFL’s own internal review.”

She said Snyder “fired women but not men who engaged in relationships with other employees, while defending male executives accused of sexual harassment.”

She also said that Snyder sent private investigators to former cheerleaders’ homes, “offered hush money to buy their silence,” created a “dossier” of communications from journalists, attorneys and former employees who accused the team of harassment, and tried to blame former team President Bruce Allen for the team’s troubles. Maybe Snyder should have hired Rudy Giuliani to harass people. I hear he needs the work.

Maloney also said, “The NFL was aware of his actions, but failed to stop him.” It’s the NFL’s reluctance to make their own investigation of Snyder public that spurred the investigation by Congress, which Republicans like Jim Jordan are trying to discredit. Snyder, like the Trumpers, know that if the GOP retakes Congress that in January, all this will go away.

Despite refusing to make the findings of their investigation public, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell testified before the panel on Wednesday and said that the Commanders’ culture was “not only unprofessional, but toxic for far too long.”

He also said, “It is clear to me that the workplace in Washington was unprofessional and unacceptable in numerous respects: bullying, widespread disrespect toward colleagues, use of demeaning language, public embarrassment and harassment,” Goodell said. “Moreover, for a prolonged period of time, the Commanders had a woefully deficient HR function, particularly with respect to reporting practices and recordkeeping.”

The NFL fined the teams $10 million and Goodell seems to believe that with Snyder stepping aside to let his wife run the team, then everyone should just move on.

The billionaire boys club of NFL owners need to impeach Dan Snyder.

While Republicans are trying to discredit the hearings, Maloney noted that attorneys general in six states had told the NFL in April of their “grave concerns” about allegations of workplace harassment of women and minorities. And if the NFL isn’t going to protect these people, then Congress needs to step in and do it.

That’s what Congress should do, protect us from a toxic culture…like the culture of Republicans breaking laws, trying to overturn the government by throwing out elections, trying to install fascist groping dictators, and then asking for pardons for their all while continuing to serve in office while defending their crimes and continuing their lies.

Lock them all up, the coupers and the gropers.

Creative note: I went into a spaghetti coma last night and screwed up my sleep schedule. So, I drew this after midnight and didn’t listen to any tunes as I was going from one page to another to focus on the caricatures. I was also getting a lot of congratulatory messages on the SDX Award which I haven’t told you about yet.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Orbiting Moons and Asteroids


Cjones06172021

Republican Louie Gohmert is a lunatic, but he’s not alone.

Gohmert recently caused a lot of people to laugh and mock him when he asked the nation’s forestry service if we can combat climate change by changing the orbits of the Earth and the Moon. His supporters are saying he was just joking and using it to make a point. No. He was not. He’s that stupid.

It’s like the time Donald Trump suggested we all inject disinfectants to fight the coronavirus. His supporters argue he never suggested we drink bleach but yet, the Trump’s White House said he was being “sarcastic.”

Louie Gohmert is no scientist. He’s not even a smart person. Like Donald Trump, he downplayed the coronavirus and eventually caught it. After he caught it, he blamed…wait for this…the wearing of face masks. He even banned people in his office from wearing face masks. He also endorsed Trump’s baseless claim of taking hydroxychloroquine to treat the virus and falsely claimed Germany had invented a mist that would kill it. Was he just kidding then?

Was Louie just kidding when he talked about “terror babies?” What are “terror babies?” It’s this theory Louie and others have that Muslim terrorists were impregnating women, sending them to the U.S. to have their babies, then they’d return home with the babies to raise them as terrorists. Later, the baby, all grown up now, would come to the U.S. as a citizen to commit terrorist attacks. Trust me on this: That’s a stupid plan. Kids never go into professions their parents want them to. Yeah, yeah, yeah…Dad wants me to bomb an embassy but what I really wanna do is busk “Smelly Cat” in Greenwich Village.

Maybe all those white nationalist MAGA goons storming the capitol were “terror babies.”

Louie also referred to Robert Mueller as an “anal opening,” pushed the debunked conspiracy theory that George Soros aided Nazis (when he was a child) to kill his fellow Jews and confiscate their property, endorsed the Big Lie that Trump won the election, endorsed Texas’ lawsuit against Pennsylvania to decertify their electoral votes for President Biden, and even sued Mike Pence to stop him from certifying the Electoral College.

Would it surprise you to learn that Gohmert attends a church called “Green Acres?” I am not making that up but I bet I got the theme of “Green Acres” stuck in your head. Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarm living is the life for me.

When Gohmert lost his lawsuit against Mike Pence, he said, “Basically, in effect, the ruling would be that you got to go to the streets and be as violent as Antifa and Black Lives Matter.” Louie later criticized the terrorist attack on the Capitol, I guess not realizing people would actually do what he encouraged them to do. Also, never mind that Antifa and BLM never attempted a bloody coup.

Later, Louie said most of the people involved in the attack were “nonviolent peaceful Americans whose only crimes were supporting Donald Trump.” Earlier this month, he attended a conference full of Qanon fuckos and claimed leftists were a part of the violent mob of terrorists and it wasn’t so bad because this country has had worse attacks, like that Green Acres theme. Doo-doo-da-doo-doo. Doo! Doo!

If you’re attacked by a shark, then later you’re attacked by a bear, are you going to dismiss the one you thought wasn’t as serious? Yeah, I got bit by a shark, but that bear was a real motherfucker. Someone should ask Louie who would win a fight between a shark and a bear. It will occupy him for hours.

At that same event, Louie posed for photos with someone who claimed he was a part of that mob attacking the capitol. I don’t remember Washington politicians posing for pictures with the Taliban…well, except Ronald Reagan.

As I said, Louie is a lunatic but he’s not alone. While he’s talking about changing the orbits of the Earth and the Moon, the orbits he should think about changing are those of his and fellow Republicans around Trump’s ass.

A majority of Republicans believe Donald Trump won the election. They are wrong. They have no evidence but just like with birtherism, it’s something they believe because they want to believe it.

House GOP leader Kevin McCarthy initially criticized Trump, then flew down to Mar-A-Lago to kiss his ass and apologize for rightly saying he was responsible for a terrorist attack. The party kicked Liz Cheney out of House leadership because she blamed Trump for the terrorist attack and refused to parrot the lie Trump won the election. Her replacement, Elaine Stefanik, assumed the orbital position around Trump’s ass and said he was the leader of the party. She then went to New Jersey for a photo with Trump.

Donald Trump lost the popular vote both times he ran for president. He lost the House and Senate for the party. He’s a drag nationally for Republican candidates but popular with the base. It’s not that Washington Republicans love Trump, but that they’re afraid of him. They voted against investigating the attack on the Capitol out of fear of angering Trump.

Washington Republicans are cowards, and many like Gohmert are idiots.

At least one of them acknowledged climate change is real, of course, while offering a nonsensical solution to it. Hey, it beats actually having to do anything to solve the problem, right? It was ridiculous and stupid to ask a forest service if they can change the orbits of the Earth and Moon. But, that may be more realistic and easier to do than getting Republicans like Gohmert to change their orbits around Donald Trump’s ass.

Republicans are all about the ass.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Orbital Magnetized MAGA Pants


Cjones06142021

The first thing I thought when I heard Republican congressman Louie Gohmert ask an official of the United States Forest Service if we can combat climate change by changing the orbit of the Earth and the moon was, “Don’t they have their hands full raking forests being set on fire from Jewish space lasers?”

The second thing I thought was, “What a dumbass.”

The third thing I thought was, “Hey, a Republican believes in climate change.”

The fourth thing I thought was, “if he wants to change the Earth’s and moon’s orbits, why isn’t he talking to NASA instead of Smokey the Bear?”

The fifth thing I thought was, “He’s a werewolf.”

And finally I thought, “To combat climate change, a typical Republican would literally rather change the Earth’s orbit than modify his behavior or accept accountability.”

Republicans are stupid, yo. We have Marjorie Taylor Greene believing in Jewish Space lasers and a Satanic deep state eating children. We have Louie Gohmert competing with her for dumbest person in Congress. And then…we have a doctor (a real doctor?) who testified at a state-government hearing in Ohio that vaccines for the coronavirus will…wait for this…magnetize you.

So basically, these vaccines have tracking chips and magnets while also making you immune?

Dr. Sherri Tenpenny, an osteopathic physician, testified as an “expert witness” during a hearing about a bill that will weaken the state’s vaccination laws. She claims, “The shots magnetize people, causing metal objects from pennies to forks to stick to their bodies.” Seriously, I hope you’re washing all that silverware after trying to stick it to your person. Or better yet, buy new stuff to scoop your food with before sticking it in your mouth.

She also said, “I’m sure you’ve seen the pictures all over the internet of people who have had these shots and now they’re magnetized. They can put a key on their forehead. It sticks. They can put spoons and forks all over them and they can stick.” I have NOT seen the pictures “all over the internet” of people doing this stuff.

At that same hearing, someone claiming they were a “registered” nurse defended the doctor, said it’s true and she was an example that could prove it. She stuck a key to her chest and said, “Explain to me why the key sticks to me. It sticks to my neck too.” The key would not stick and kept falling down. You think she’d have tried it at home before the hearing. Anyway, that so-called nurse should definitely be “registered” by some government agency.

This whole conspiracy theory started with the idea Bill Gates was planting tracking chips into the vaccines when honestly, the only person he needs to worry about keeping track of is his wife suing him for divorce.

But, this magnet conspiracy theory has spread like…well, a conspiracy theory. There are even TikTok challenges of people sticking things to themselves. And trust me, if you see a video of someone sticking things to themselves, then it definitely has to be magnets with no other explanations being available like glue…or they’re just nasty by not practicing good hygiene. Also, if your bank and credit cards stop working, it’s probably not the magnets.

But, it’s gotten so crazy that even the Center for Disease Control had to issue a statement debunking the magnet bullshit. Do you remember when the CDC spent most of their time with serious matters? Pretty soon, they’ll probably have to issue a statement saying Louie Gohmert probably isn’t a werewolf. On the whole magnet shit, the CDC said, “No, you fucking fucknuts. Don’t make us come down there and slap you upside the head. Idiots.” No. That’s what they wanted to say.

What they actually said was, “No. Receiving a COVID-19 vaccine will not make you magnetic, including at the site of vaccination which is usually your arm, because the vaccine is free of metals such as iron, nickel, cobalt, lithium, and rare earth alloys, as well as any manufactured products such as microelectronics, electrodes, carbon nanotubes, and nanowire semiconductors that can create an electromagnetic field.” And, Louie Gohmert may or may not be a mentally challenged werewolf.

No, you can’t change the orbit of the Earth and Moon. No, vaccines don’t have tracking chips or magnets. And no, Donald Trump did not wear his pants backwards at last week’s hate rally. Wait, what?

It appears that Donald Trump wore backward pants at that North Carolina hate rally. You know, the one where he continued the lie he won the election and warned that people are trying to destroy the country who don’t have that right…like he does.

But, his pants just looked like they were on backwards. We know this now because the CDC issued a statement….No. We know this because several news outlets hired investigators to spend hours poring over photos and videos of Trump’s nether regions at the event. There’s gotta be a better way to make a living. When they were all done looking at Trump’s crotch, these experts issued their ruling that his pants were NOT on backwards. Why, they even found a zipper in the front.

So, if you’re like Louie Gohmert and currently in orbit around Donald Trump’s ass, that’s probably good to know.

The only explanation for the appearance his pants were worn backwards…which is way less crazy than Jewish space lasers, raking forests, changing orbits, baby-eating deep state, or that vaccines have magnets and tracking chips…is that Donald Trump was wearing a diaper.

Hey, sometimes you gotta poop. Sometimes, that time is while you’re screaming at the sky about winning an election you lost big time and ordering your white nationalist terrorist base to commit insurrection on your behalf. Traitors gotta poop too and sometimes, they like to do it while standing up or walking…or in Trump’s case, waddling.

I don’t believe in the Satanic baby-eating deep state, Jewish space lasers, changing orbits, or the magnets and tracking chips in vaccines…but I can buy into the belief, because he’s full of shit, Donald Trump wears a diaper…

…and Louie Gohmert may be a werewolf. A really, really stupid werewolf.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Sticky Fingers


cjones07162018

Yesterday, the Justice Department announced that Special Counsel Robert Mueller has indicted 12 Russians for meddling in the 2016 presidential election in an effort to support the candidacy of Donald Trump. The indictments bring the Russia investigation closer to Trump, and unfortunately for him, the only ones standing in the way to obstruct the investigation are the conspiracy-driven lunatics at Fox News and the Republican imbeciles in Congress.

The House Judiciary Committee dragged FBI agent Peter Strzok before them for a theatrical hearing to make the case that the FBI is part of the “deep state” gunning to take down Trump. Their argument is based on text messages he sent to his lover that were critical of Trump, while he was a part of two separate investigations of both presidential candidates.

Strzok argued that having a political opinion does not make someone biased. Biased is when you allow your opinion to get in the way of your work, which Strzok did not do. The evidence to that is, the FBI never leaked that they were investigating a possible Trump/Russia connection during the campaign, yet agents leaked information and there were multiple press conferences about the Clinton investigation.

There is a difference between being biased and informed. It is difficult to find a highly skilled, experienced, and intelligent professional who doesn’t have a negative opinion about Donald Trump. Don’t most investigators have a negative opinion of their subjects as they gain more information?

Democratic Congressman Ted Lieu said at one point during the showcase, “This is a stupid and ridiculous hearing.” Now, after yesterday’s indictments, we know why at least one Republican is desperate to stop Mueller’s investigation.

The indictments informed us that one Congressional candidate asked Gucifer 2.0, the Russian hackers, for stolen documents from Democrats, and received it. The report didn’t state if this candidate is presently in Congress or even what party they are a member of, but it’s kinda far-fetched to believe it’s not a Republican. If Mueller knows about this exchange, then he also knows who the suspect is.

Now, we get to play the game of guessing which Kool-Aid drinking, cultish, treasonous, Putin’s puppet of a Republican goon is going to prison. My candidates are Devin Nunes, Jim Jordan (who has other issues to answer for), Trey Gowdy, Steve King, Darrell Issa, Matt Gaetz, Louie Gohmert, and Bob Goodlatte. There are other contenders but this is my candy store. It’s really hard to pick just one sycophant.

If they all can’t go to prison, perhaps the voters can keep each of them from returning to Congress.

Watch me draw.

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