Locker Room Talk

Fascinated With Newt


cjones10302016

Be honest with yourself. You know you’ve always wanted to see Newt Gingrich waddle his naked, pink body strapped with nothing but a towel in a locker room. As a bonus I’ve also given you a nekkie Trump. Do they make Tic Tacs for eyeballs?

Newt Gingrich was interviewed by Fox News host Megyn Kelly Tuesday night and he said she was “fascinated with sex” while she was asking him about Donald Trump’s treatment of women. Nice.

Newt got testy, shook his finger at Kelly, and wanted her to say Bill Clinton is a sexual predator. He also said Clinton was disbarred in Arkansas which I want to point out is not true.

It’s kinda bizarre that Newt wants to talk about Clinton’s accusers what with his track record and all when it comes to infidelity. Trump, Giuliani, Newt, Roger Ailes…what is it with these guys, none of whom looks like a Sam Malone, and women? It seems it would behoove the Trump campaign, which is struggling with the women vote, to send out a surrogate who isn’t a HeSlut…less enough surrogates who try to push a woman around on live TV.

Kelly kept her cool and told Newt that she’s  “fascinated by the protection of women.” Newt might want to find another female to bully because it didn’t work with Kelly and Newt came off like a whiny baby. Maybe he should start with one who’s not smarter than he is. But Republicans love this kind of stuff.

Donald Trump loved it so much that he interrupted promoting his newest empty hotel in Washington, D.C. to praise Newt and he said “We don’t play games, Newt, right? We don’t play games.”

Trump has had issues with Kelly ever since the first Republican debate. He doesn’t like hard questions…or any questions not concerning how great he is. He famously said she was angry and had “blood coming out of her wherever.”

Kelly finished her interview with Newt by saying “You can take your anger issues and spend some time working on them, Mr. Speaker.” Newt has been angry since the 1990s when Bill Clinton was kicking his butt all over the place. He eventually had to resign from his role as Speaker of the House during the impeachment process when it was discovered that he too is a horn dog.

One other bizarre detail of this is that Newt went on to accuse Fox News of being part of the “biased media.” Newt is still on Fox News payroll as a paid political commentator. That’s a serious breach of ethics on Fox’s part as they’re interviewing a man they’re paying who isn’t just a Trump supporter, he’s on Team Trump.

Newt can keep competing with Giuliani for who can make the most outlandish statements. I really enjoy drawing him. He’s one of those guys I’ve never had trouble caricaturing. He’s as easy now as he was in 1994.

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Trump Gets A Head


cjones10102016

What’s scarier than Donald Trump not knowing that presidents do not appoint special prosecutors to punish their political opponents? Donald Trump knowing it.

Donald Trump entered Sunday night’s debate with a very low bar and he began the evening by crawling under it. Trump held a news conference before the event with several of Bill Clinton’s accusers of sexual misconduct, a group he once referred to as a “really unattractive” group. His campaign team attempted to put the women into a situation where they could confront Bill on live TV, but the debate organizers blocked it. Trump respects women so much that he uses them as political props.

Using the Breitbart debate strategy, when the issue came up of Trump physically assaulting women and boasting about it, he apologized, then dismissed it as “locker-room talk,” and attacked the Clintons. His main defense is that Bill Clinton is worse, he’s a rapist, and that Hillary attacked and savaged his accusers. I’m shocked he didn’t accuse Hillary of holding the women down while Bill did the raping and then sold pictures of it on the internet through the Clinton Foundation.

Trump said he never forced himself on a woman which means he’s a liar. He’s either lying on the video (which guys often do with locker room talk…when they’re 16), or he lied during the debate. Either way, even thinking that forcing yourself on women is cool, whether you’re 16 or 59, makes one a P.O.S (look that up if you don’t know).

Other interesting points in the debate was Trump admitted he used a tax loophole to not pay taxes and when he publicly disagreed with his running mate on taking out the leader of Syria (a fellow fascist).

Many analysts said if Trump can turn the subject away from his sexual assaults then he wins the debate. With that standard then this cartoon says he won. For as much as I hate sexual assault, the degradation of women, racism, islamophobia, homophobia, and xenophobia, his desire to become a tin-pot dictator scares me more.

For the first time ever in a presidential debate a candidate has promised to use the Justice department to investigate his political opponent and throw her in prison. He also called her the devil at one point. There’s little wonder why Putin (who jails his opponents, including journalists) and Kim Jong un (who kills his opponents) are so fond of The Donald.

One look at Trump’s penthouse in Trump Tower, or his personal jet, tells me he really desires to be a leader in the style of Saddam Hussein. Like Saddam, Trump puts his name on everything in gold. He’d probably create a department in charge of naming things “Trump.” The most frightening part is his desire to silence his critics. I’m a critic. Why in the hell would I want to support someone who wants to throw me in prison?

There may be some Latinos, blacks, homosexuals, and women dumb enough to vote against their best interests, but I’m not. The fact Hillary has a pulse and speaks in coherent sentences makes her a better candidate than Trump.

Many of the commentators in the post-debate analysis said Trump won the debate as Clinton seemed a little defensive and off her game. They were apparently scoring on a low bar as the scientific poll after gave it to Clinton, 57% to 34%. It probably didn’t help that he kept interrupting Clinton, paced, stalked, and hovered over her. She should be glad he didn’t offer her a Tic-Tac.

If we are going with the low bar in that his supporters would love his performance, then yes he wins. All his filth and conspiracy theories is crack to his base. What he didn’t do is build support. You don’t do that by insulting your opponent and threatening to imprison them.

Clinton wasn’t great. She didn’t put Trump away either. But she won the debate, not just by being better and more prepared than Trump, but by Trump not doing so bad. How is that?

Look at it this way: If Trump did so poorly his party would make some serious efforts to dump him. They’re not going to do that. Many will bail on him and a lot of funding might be pulled (the heavy Republicans are meeting Monday morning to talk about it). But if they had actually removed Trump from the ticket (which is almost impossible), that would give the GOP a serious chance of winning the election. The last thing Hillary wants is Trump thrown off the ticket.

For those looking forward to the election bringing an end to the most despicable race in U.S. history, I have some bad news for you. If Trump wins he continues the campaign against Clinton by trying to “lock her up,” which is also a popular chant at his rallies. If Trump loses he continues his campaign against Clinton by claiming the election was rigged (another fascist move). Having to choose between the two I’ll take the latter.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!