Light Bulbs

Turn Out The Lights


Cjones09022021

I have a very non-bold prediction. A year from now, a majority of Americans will be satisfied with the way President Biden handled the withdrawal out of Afghanistan. And those still giving him low marks won’t remember why. Case in point: We lost fewer Americans in Afghanistan than we lost to Covid during the Trump presidency (sic), a virus he admitted he downplayed. Ask a Republican about that now and he’ll give you the same look a dog gives after he’s asked to tell the ingredients of moussaka.

Despite the world screaming at him, President Biden stuck to his promise. He stuck to a deadline when horrible images were coming out of the Kabul airport. He stuck to his deadline when people were falling off planes. He stuck to his deadline after a terrorist attack killed 13 Americans and over 160 Afghans. He stuck to his deadline and when that deadline came, we were gone. Yes, there are still Americans in Afghanistan, but he stuck to the deadline.

This is leadership. Republicans don’t recognize it because they’re Trump supporters.

Biden has made mistakes with this ordeal he inherited, mostly with his prediction that Afghanistan wouldn’t fall to the Taliban. But outside of that, I don’t think you can blame him for anything. Last night, a few political prognosticators were clamoring for a resignation from the White House over this. Who do they want to resign? They don’t know…just someone. Someone has to pay. Except we already fired the guy who made this shitty evacuation deal with the Taliban, so we’re good. Also, how do you fire someone for doing exactly what you told them to do?

Yesterday, I saw a lunatic on social media describe the withdrawal as nothing but a disaster for President Biden. Yet, over 123,000 people were evacuated in a span of two weeks. That is not a total disaster. Yes, a lot of people were left behind, including Americans. But President Biden showed leadership and stuck to the deadline. Were we supposed to extend the deadline again and bring in more troops to do it right? I don’t care how many people you airlift out of Afghanistan, there will will always be someone in Afghanistan who wants to get out of Afghanistan. It’s like Mississippi that way.

Remember, this withdrawal was set by a deal Donald Trump and Mike Pompeo made with the Taliban. A lot of people say we should have started our withdrawal earlier, but the Afghanistan government asked us not to out of fear there would be a mad rush to the airport creating a humanity crisis…which happened anyway. So, how could we have avoided this “disaster”? Answer: We couldn’t have.

But for some reason, despite this being such a huge “disaster” for President Biden, Republicans still have to make shit up.

The Taliban’s seizure of U.S. weaponry has been covered extensively. There are fears the Taliban will use these weapons against the United States. But, even if the Taliban could somehow fly Black Hawk helicopters across oceans halfway around the world, or drive the stolen Humvees to our shores, they promised they would never attack, or allow any group from inside their nation, to attack America. This is in the deal made by Donald Trump. I mean, it’s like Republicans suddenly don’t have faith in Donald Trump as a great dealmaker anymore. But, just like the treaty he signed with North Korea, there are not actual obligations or accounting required from the Taliban in the Trump deal. Even the part about negotiating peace with the Afghan government only required the Taliban to think about trying to make peace with the Afghan government maybe possibly kinda sorta.

Republicans also found a clip of a helicopter flying over Kabul with a man dangling from it. They claimed the person was being hung from the helicopter, which was stolen from the United States. Then, they claimed not only was it an innocent person being hung, but an Afghan interpreter who helped the United States. Of course, this is all Joe Biden’s fault. But…

…it wasn’t true. There was a guy swinging from the helicopter but he wasn’t hung. He was alive and waving. A reporter who knew the pilot said they were trying to hang the Taliban flag onto a tall building from the helicopter, but it didn’t work out. The pilot was trained by the U.S. and was in the Afghan military, but I guess he works for the Taliban now.

Republicans, stop getting your news from 4chan and YouTube. Also, maybe don’t buy into Taliban propaganda. I know it’s hard because it’s so similar to Trump propaganda.

Then, Republicans found a photo of a bunch of dogs in crates. The Washington Times reported they were rescue dogs abandoned by the U.S. military…and Joe Biden. Also, none of the dogs were house trained. Goddamn you, Joe Biden! Again, it wasn’t true. They were not military dogs or owned by the United States.

Republicans, stop getting your news from The Washington Times, which is literally owned by a cult.

A lot of these idiots say we should have taken all this military equipment with us when we left Afghanistan. The problem with that brilliant idea is that it didn’t belong to us. It belonged to the Afghanistan government. Republicans are very simplistic thinkers.

They’re also lying about the cost of the equipment left behind with some claiming it’s over $80 million when it’s actually closer to $16 million.

The truth is, all that military equipment has already served the purpose it was made for. That purpose was for the military industrial complex to make money. The U.S. defense industry is all about making money off the backs of taxpayers, which means they have to keep producing weaponry, even if those weapons are never used.

Currently, the Lima Army Tank Plant in Ohio produces 11 Abrams tanks a month. These tanks are about $6-8 million each. What are we doing with these tanks? We’re putting them in storage. We already have over 4,000 tanks in storage and the military has actually said it has enough tanks. But nope. The government keeps ordering more tanks.

The other thing about the military industrial complex is that it makes shit to fall apart. A Toyota hatchback will last two decades longer than a $8 million Abrams tank or a $10 million Black Hawk helicopter. All those tanks in storage will fall apart just by sitting there, and then we’ll spend millions upgrading them, and then upgrade again when the upgraded shit falls apart. It’s why I’m not that concerned with the heavy machinery and aircraft seized by the Taliban. And when that shit breaks down and they need to reorder parts from the U.S. government, good luck with the U.S. government’s automatic voice greetings.

“Thank you for calling the U.S. government’s tank and helicopter parts division. Your call is very important to us. Currently, our operators are assisting other customers. You’re our 87th caller…someone will get to your call shortly. If you would like to hang up and have a service representative return your call….” Spoiler: Nobody’s going to return your call. Also, after waiting two hours to be number two in line, it will hang up on you. It’s scary how I know all that by heart…and you do too.

There are still people to be rescued from Afghanistan, but we’re out of the Afghanistan business and President Joe Biden made it happen. A year from now, or tomorrow, most of us are going to be glad to be out of the Afghanistan business, except for simplistic-thinking MAGAts and people who build Abrams tanks for a living.

As for all the material shit we left behind, it’s another cost of this two-decade failure. Let it go. And I would have told the last American soldier in Afghanistan to turn out the light, if there were actually any lights in Afghanistan.

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Canadian Brownface


cjones09252019

Maybe Justin Trudeau, Canada’s liberal prime minister, should have said it was the light bulbs that made his face look brown. But, like our president, it’s not the lighting to blame for their appearance. It’s the goop they put on their faces.

A yearbook photo has emerged of Trudeau, a self-described feminist, and pro-immigrant liberal from Montreal, wearing blackface at an “Arabian Nights” themed costume party in 2001. Trudeau was 29 at the time and a teacher at the private school where the event was held. Time Magazine was the first to publish the photo which was taken from a school yearbook.

A school yearbook is also where photos emerged in Virginia of someone wearing blackface (I guess it’s “brownface” in Canada) standing next to someone in a Ku Klux Klan robe. It was reported that the man in blackface was Virginia’s governor, Ralph Northam who apologized for the photo, then a day later claimed it wasn’t him. Though, Northam did confess to wearing blackface at a moonwalk competition when he was 25.

Trudeau didn’t squirm out an explanation from the Northam playbook, which hopefully doesn’t contain any embarrassing photos from the past. Instead, Trudeau owned it. While campaigning for reelection, he said, “This is something I shouldn’t have done many years ago. It was something that I didn’t think was racist at the time, but now I recognize it was something racist to do, and I am deeply sorry.”

Do you know what I was doing when I was 29? I was not putting shoe polish on my face and impersonating other races. Though, when I was a teenager, I once put white makeup on my face while wearing a baseball uniform so friends and I could impersonate the Baseball Furies on Halloween. I actually wish there were photos from that. And if you don’t know what the Baseball Furies is from, then you’re just not cool. But, I digress.

What the hell is up with these white politicians putting shoe polish on their face? And, what’s up with all these school yearbooks publishing the photos? Trudeau also admitted, probably because there’s a photo out there, that he also wore blackface/brownface once in high school (I swear I’m not making this up) while performing “Day-O,” the Jamaican folk song (if I had to sing Day-O, I’d probably wear a bag over my face). I have to know if there’s a recording of this because I’ve never seen a future prime minister sing “Come, mister tally man, tally me banana.” Could it possibly be worse than Trump doing the chicken song (not really racist, but really bad) or being hit on by Rudy Giuliani in drag?

I don’t care how much he’s championed rights for racial minorities in Canada or how many Syrian refugees he’s allowed into the nation. If there’s a recording of his Day-O performance, he’s screwed. But, at least he did apologize and own it.

Here in the United States, our president (sic) doesn’t know how to apologize. He believes it’s weak. He’d rather spend a week drawing on weather reports with a sharpie and directing the National Weather Service to lie about hurricanes than say “oops.”

It’s understandable that people become more aware and sensitive when they grow older, but hopefully before they hit their 30s. Everyone was a stupid kid. And to a point, everyone was or will be a stupid 29-year-old. But, even in 2001 (which doesn’t seem that long ago when you’re 53), you’d think someone at 29 or 25 would realize just how racist it is to impersonate another race and wear shoe polish on your face. My son once dressed as Aladdin for Halloween, when he was seven. Even then, he didn’t put shoe polish on his face.

People who are a different race than you are people, not costumes. Stop dehumanizing them. My seven-year-old understood that. So, why can’t a 25 or 29-year-old? I don’t get it.

We’ll have to wait and see if Canadians forgive Trudeau for playing Arabian and Jamaican. It seems nobody here cares about Trump playing psychotic Oompa Loompa.

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