Maga Monkeys


As I’m sure you’re aware of now, the MAGAt teabagger gang is at it again.

Trump cultists are protesting the government’s stay-at-home orders in several states. They’re anxious to get the economy rolling again, to get back to work, to resume earning a living, and to just get out of the house. We all have that frustration. We all want to earn a living, feed our families, and pay our bills. That’s not partisan.

But, there’s something else to these protests. They’re partisan. Wanting to restart the economy shouldn’t be partisan or red versus blue. But you kinda think it is when they’re flying Confederate flags with their protests. You kinda think it is when they’re carrying guns. You kinda think it is when they’re calling their Democratic governor a Nazi and a fascist. Mostly, you kinda get the impression it’s partisan when they’re wearing and flying pro-Trump signs.

I think my favorite sign has been one that said “Make American Great Again” and “Keep America Great.” Well, which is it? How do we make America great again if it’s already great? How do we keep it great when we haven’t made it great yet?

But then again, these are Trump cultists and there’s not a lot they do that makes sense. For example: They’re protesting for Donald Trump and against his recommendations. The White House issued the recommendation for Americans to self-isolate and quarantine themselves. That’s what they’re protesting while waving MAGA signs. Of course, being a hypocrite and contradiction has always been the hallmark of being a MAGAt shitweasel fucknut. They’re all patriots who ignore Russia attacking our election. They support our troops while supporting Donald Trump’s attacks on Gold Star families, his statement that POWs are “only war heroes because they got captured,” and he only likes people who “aren’t captured.”

These protests aren’t organic. They’ve been organized by right-wing Facebook groups, InfoWars, Fox News, 4chan, and…wait for it…Donald Fucking Trump. Trump advisor Stephen Moore compared them to Rosa Parks. Rosa Parks stood against discrimination. These fruit loops don’t get that they’re not being discriminated against as we’re ALL being told to stay at home. Also, this is a group that’s 99% white. If they’re Rosa Parks then I’m Gandhi, which I’m not because I had two BLT sandwiches last night. Plus, I’m not bald and I don’t walk around wearing nothing except for one of Dr. Birx’s tablecloths.

The biggest instigator for this is Donald Trump. If he was a true leader, he’d tell them to go home and stay home. But no. While arguing that Nancy Pelosi is playing “partisan politics,” he’s sending tweets encouraging attacks against Democratic governors. While everyone is being told to stay home, in states with Democratic and Republican governors, Trump only focused on those with Democrats. He tweeted, “Liberate Michigan” which is governed by Democrat Gretchen Whitmer. He tweeted, “Liberate Minnesota” which is governed by Democrat Tom Walz. “He tweeted, “Liberate Virginia” which is governed by Ralph Northum. The other thing these states have in common is that they’re viewed as swing states.

In addition to tweeting out those attacks, Trump is calling for “liberating” Virginia because of new gun measures…none of which has anything to do with the pandemic (other than indoor gun ranges being deemed “unessential”). Also, I don’t think Virginia is a swing state anymore. While I do believe a Republican can win here statewide, not in the era of Trump. The Republican who has the longest shot of winning Virginia is Donald Trump. No thank you, Mr. Trump, but please, go ahead and waste a lot of money and time here.

Donald Trump could not tell you how the gun laws in Virginia violate the Second Amendment, but he likes to say it does. He also says many of the governors have gone “too far” and that they’ve been “tough” on their people, but he couldn’t tell you how.

Donald Trump refused to tell the protesters to go home. He even said they look responsible and they were social distancing. If you’ve seen photos of the protests, that’s a lie. They are not social distancing and most aren’t wearing masks. Some of my favorites are the guys holding signs saying the coronavirus is a hoax while wearing face masks. If it’s a hoax, then why are you wearing a mask? Again…Trump cultists.

If Donald Trump really wants to support these covidiots, then he needs to go out there and mingle with them. Just stay six feet apart. I’m sure he’ll be fine. But better yet, work on testing.

Donald Trump said, “everyone who needs a test gets a test.” That’s not true and we’re only testing about 50,000 a day. We need to test 50 million a day. Now Trump says it’s the states’ job to test and to acquire the tests. He’s not “responsible.” But, it’s obviously easier to divide the nation with tweets of  “liberation” than doing your job. It’s easier to hold daily mini-MAGA rallies with no real updates other than Donald Trump explaining the difference between a cotton swab and a Q-tip.

There are two sets of people working to get us back out there and reopen the economy. Those are essential workers, who are risking their lives, and those who are staying home. Staying home is working and it’s flattening the curve. These people who are going out and protesting, they’re working against us being able to go out and work and spend money. What they’re doing is a slap in the face to everyone who’s trying to end this.

While people are risking their lives so you can buy groceries, these idiots are risking all of our lives to promote their Dear Leader. They are a disgrace to America and everyone who’s doing their part to end this pandemic.

If you’re out there protesting, I respect your right to protest but I don’t respect you or what you’re doing. But then again, you already disrespected everything this nation stands for by voting for Donald Trump. You are all bad Americans.

If you wanna stop staying home, then stay home. And if you really want to get this nation rolling again, stop being Donald Trump’s flying monkeys. Or more specifically in your case, stop being Donald Trump’s flying fucknuts.

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