Late Show

A Capitol Cop Triumph


Finally, the reign of terror for the instigator of the invasion of the Capitol complex is over as an arrest has been made. The Capitol Police found him trespassing in the hallways of a congressional office building and they didn’t even require backup from the Washington, D.C. Dog Pound. Boys and girls, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog has been arrested.

After decades of mean, personal, insults, like “your dog looks like the result of an Ewok gangbang” and “your mom’s like soccer…always taking balls to the face,” and telling people that something they admire is great for him to poop on, justice has been served.

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog was arrested by the same cops who didn’t find anything suspicious about a bunch of Trump goons touring inside the Capitol, taking pictures of tunnels and stairwells, the day before the January 6 Trump insurrection. I for one feel a lot safer knowing I can go outside and won’t be accosted by an insulting dog puppet.

Triumph started his career on Late Night when Conan O’Brien was the host. Now he’s doing gigs with Stephen Colbert’s Late Show. Last Thursday, a film crew for Late Show was in one of the Capitol office buildings filming a comedy skit involving Triumph when Capitol cops moved in and arrested nine individuals, including Robert Smigel, Triumph’s creator.

The film crew had permission to be there but apparently stayed after the building was closed. Incredibly, nobody was harmed, peed, or humped on, during the incident. But, there is still outrage.

Tucker Carlson is upset. Tucker has accused Adam Schiff of being behind the “insurrection” by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Tucker said the incident was “exactly like what happened” during the Capitol riot. Seriously.

The incursions into the Capitol Complex are NOT “exactly” alike. First off, unlike the Trump insurrectionists, Triumph is housebroken. On January 6, the goons for Trump defecated and urinated on the floors and walls of the Capitol.

Also, what happened on January 6 was a bunch of white nationalist terrorists trying to overturn an election they lost. They were directed by Donald Trump and seven people were killed. Over one hundred Capitol Police were wounded. What happened last Thursday was a puppet of a dog telling rude jokes.

Come to think of it, every white nationalist Trumper who invaded the Capitol is ripe to be insulted by Triumph…and for him to poop on. The Insurrectionists might even like that.

I think it’s unfair for Tucker to accuse Triumph of being a terrorist without giving the dog equal time to defend himself. Tucker should invite Triumph on his show. I think Tucker and his show would be great for Triumph…

…for him to poop on. I kid. I kid. Not really.

Music Note: I listened to Tom Petty while drawing today.

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