MAGA Masters

This is my concern…or another one of my concerns. If a Trump-appointed judge can install a Special Master to go over every single document the FBI seized from Trump’s bedbug-ridden country club (MAGA-Lard-O is it?) to decide what the Justice Department can and can’t use as evidence (mostly can’t here), then who will she pick?

These people do their gooning with a straight face. They pretend they’re impartial and doing their jobs correctly. They claim they’re serving the people of this nation when in fact, they’re just serving one man. It’s why they all have brown noses.

This judge in Florida who granted Trump’s request for additional privilege and to stall the investigation is obtuse to the fact that we all know she’s a Trump appointee whose confirmation was rushed through the Senate in Trump’s final days in office. In this case, she hasn’t just stalled the investigation. She’s stopped it entirely until the Special Master says he’s done. How long will that take? Hell, maybe Trump will be president (sic) again by the time he says he’s done. Maybe Merrick Garland will no longer be the Attorney General. Maybe by the time the Special Master is done, the Justice Department will revert back to being the Department of Protecting Donald Trump’s Bulbous Orange Ass.

With a straight face, this judge publicly rejected DOJ’s argument to treat Trump like any other subject of an investigation and issued an opinion that he should receive special treatment. The judge has concerns that there’s a public perception of bias against Trump, but no worries about the perception she’s biased toward him.

I made a comment in yesterday’s blog that the judge may appoint a Trump goon to be the Special Master… someone like Rudy Giuliani, the MyPillow fucker, or Tucker Carlson. Then I thought, that’s a cartoon and I better do it before another cartoonist reads my blog and steals it.

When the Special Master appoints a Republican to the post, expect her to do it with a straight face. Expect Trump to issue a “truth” stating he trusts the Special Master’s judgment. Expect Fox News to praise the appointment. Expect Kevin McCarthy to ejaculate praise all over Twitter for the appointment. When all that happens, that’s when you’ll know we’re fucked.

How can so many Trumpers and MAGAts scream without any evidence that the Justice Department is corrupt and has been politicized but not have any concerns that a Trump-appointed judge just paused an investigation into Donald Trump stealing classified documents and storing them in a Country Club?

With a straight face, these people are hypocrites.

Music note: I listened to the Fray and Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

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The Chosen One


Defending your leader’s comments with, “he didn’t say that,” then saying, “that’s not what he meant,” to “he was joking,” to finally, “yeah, he said it and I totally agree with it, ” are characteristics of being in a cult.

Other signs you’re in a cult are when your leader puts his name on everything, constantly refers to himself in the third person, tells you not to believe what you see and hear, and says anything critical of him is “fake news.” He will also demand loyalty while giving none in return. Of course, the best way to tell that you’re in a cult is when your leader tells you you’re in a cult.

I’ve been telling Trump supporters for the past few years they’re in a cult. I’ve even told family members they’re in a cult, who stopped talking to me which is another sign of being in a cult. They’ve scoffed at being told they’re in a cult but they don’t have to take my word for it any longer. They can take Donald Trump’s.

Yesterday, Donald Trump looked up toward the sky  (this time there wasn’t an eclipse) and said, “I am the chosen one.” Seriously.

He was probably still riding the high of retweeting noted conspiracy theorist Wayne Allyn Root who called him the “Second coming of God.” Root’s endorsement of Trump as Christ apparently was a defense of Trump’s anti-Semitic charge that Jews who vote Democratic are either “uninformed” or “disloyal.” The tweets Trump retweeted wasn’t about any policies. They were just idol worship.

Root tweeted that Trump is, “The greatest president for Jews and for Israel in the history of the world, not just America, he is the best President for Israel in the history of the world (he had to say it twice)…and the Jewish people in Israel love him like he’s the King of Israel. They love him like he is the second coming of God.”

Trump was not humble in accepting the compliment. He endorsed it. Of course, Root is a noted conspiracy theorist so take his idol worship with a grain of salt.

Root was a leading proponent of the President Obama birther conspiracy theory. He once claimed Obama was never a student at Columbia University, that he was gay, and that he was possibly hired by the Bilderberg Group to destroy the United States and “kill all of us.” He’s going to kill all of us with his gay.

He promoted conspiracy theories about the murder of Seth Rich. He suggested that the white supremacist who killed Heather Heyer at the Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville was probably an actor and infiltrator paid for by George Soros and that “No conservative I’ve ever met commits violence…EVER.”

He said the 2017 mass shooting in Las Vegas was “clearly (a) coordinated Muslim terror attack.” In case you’re not up on the fact, it wasn’t. It was a white guy and we still don’t know his motive.

He also had a theory about Robert Mueller’s investigation into the Trump campaign and Russia by claiming it was motivated by “penis envy” because “Mueller’s is smaller than Trump’s.” How does Root have the inside track on the penis size and the gay? Also, another sign you’re in a cult is claiming your leader has the largest penis unless you’re worshipping Ron Jeremy.

Last night, Christopher Ruddy, a friend of Trump’s (but not close enough to verify the penis-even theory) and CEO of Newsmax which hosts Root’s show, said on CNN he was unaware of Root ever being a conspiracy theorist. He took it upon himself to defend Root but not to glance at his Wiki page…or ever listen to the show his company hosts. Can’t blame him for that last part.

The insanity of Trump calling himself the “Chosen One” and accepting Root’s praise made everyone overlook his claim that the Prime Minister of Denmark’s criticism of him was an insult to all of America. No, Donald, she said you’re “absurd,” not America. I’ve said “America’s absurd.” It is.

While a lot of Trump supporters try to explain away his “chosen One” comments, there are many who actually believe he was sent by God.

Internet talk show host Bill Mitchell may be the most extreme as he once tweeted, “No mortal man could do all that Trump is doing in the face of withering opposition. We are witnessing something supernatural here. God has chosen and blessed Trump. He is our modern Moses come to set us free from the Socialist Oligarchy.” I do endorse Trump leading all his followers through the desert for forty years. Mitchell may not be taken seriously, but he’s not alone in telling people Trump was sent by God.

Robert Jeffress, a Texas pastor said Trump was chosen by God because God “is the one who installs kings.” Never mind the fact that Trump is not a king.

Jim Bakker said God told him he “put Donald Trump on this earth to give the church time to prepare for the impending end.” God to Jim, “Donald Trump is a respite in this troubled times and I sent him in grace to give you time to prepare for what’s coming on earth.” Personally, I think God drunk-dialed. Also, Jim…did God mention anything about the penis size thing?

Even the Trump campaign is believing the “chosen one” crap. Campaign manager Brad Parscale said, “Only God could deliver such a savior to our nation.” Sarah Huckabee Sanders says God “wanted Donald Trump to become president.” And if you haven’t retched already, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo suggested that God sent Trump to protect the Jewish people from Iran. That’s. The. Secretary. Of. State.

Trump supporter and one who is willing to overlook all that’s vile about Trump actually made a good point. He knocked down the suggestions that God wanted Trump to win the presidency. He said, “If you give God credit for a good president, then you’ve got to blame God when you have a bad one. What do you do when you get a bad one? say, ‘God messed up’?” So, you have to believe that God appointed every president from Washington to Trump, and is even responsible for Fillmore, Harding, Wilson, and Nixon…or you have to believe he didn’t develop an interest in American politics until 2016 and chose Trump without reading his Wiki page. He grabbed what?

The biggest preacher of the “Chosen One” argument is Donald Trump. He also says it was the people who chose him. Like all things Trump says, that’s a lie. Looking at the 2016 election results, the Chosen One was Hillary.

Nothing much will change from this. People don’t leave cults after you point out they’re in a cult. They don’t even realize they’re in a cult until it’s too late. One day you’re talking about economic policies and the next thing you’re doing is comparing his penis to Robert Mueller’s.

Congratulations. You’re in a cult. It’s the Republican Party.

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