Klansmen

Convict Hate

cjones01292021

During his inauguration speech, President Joe Biden said, “White supremacists say ‘what.'” Then, Kentucky senator Rand Paul said, “What?”.

A lot of people say “what” whenever Rand Paul speaks, like last Sunday when he went on George Stephanopoulos’ show and tried to make the case that the opinions of stupid Republicans should override hard facts when it comes to their election fraud lie. “Election integrity” keeps being repeated by people who have no integrity.

During his speech, Biden described how there were “lies told for power and for profit,” and that everyone had a duty “to defend the truth and defeat the lies.” He said, “We must reject the culture in which facts themselves are manipulated and even manufactured.” Do you know who doesn’t like that kind of talk? Liars. Enter Rand Paul.

Rand Paul went on Fox News and expressed his faux outrage over the speech saying, “Much of it is thinly veiled innuendo calling us white supremacists, calling us racists, calling us every name in the book, calling us people who don’t tell the truth.” I’m starting to get why people physically attack Rand Paul and beat his ass until the homeowner’s association arrives to pull them off him.

It’s like, “Excuse me, Senator Paul, but you’re standing on my foot.” And Rand Paul, instead of getting off your foot, screams, “Did you just call me a Nazi?”

Well, we weren’t.

A lot of this criticism toward Biden is because there’s nothing to criticize yet. Nothing real anyway. Have you seen the memes going around complaining that Jill Biden had the gall to wear teal at the 2021 inauguration AFTER Melania Trump wore the same color to the 2017 inauguration? Girl, you know that Melania and Republicans own teal now.

There have even been Republicans complaining about the Bidens bringing dogs into the White House and that they must hate cats…ignoring that the only pet Donald Trump had in the White House was Lindsey Graham and that the Bidens are also bringing in a cat. Now, if Biden forces us to watch the movie, “Cats,” then you have something to complain about.

You know what? Joe Biden has been president for nearly a week and he’s yet to unite the country despite his attempt to bridge the divide between dog people and cat people. We should throw him out now and reinstall Donald Trump, which a lot of Qanon cultists believe will happen in March.

And according to Rand Paul and many other Republicans, Joe Biden can’t unite the country if the Senate convicts Donald Trump in the impeachment trial and bans him from future office. Senator Marco Rubio, who has never been lauded for being an intelligent person, said the Senate trial is “stupid” and argued, “We already have a flaming fire in this country, and it’s like taking a bunch of gasoline and pouring it on top of the fire.” Marco admitted that Donald Trump is responsible for the MAGA terrorist attack on the Capitol but that we should just let Trump go. Does that make any sense? Keep in mind, Marco is from Florida.

Republicans are arguing we can’t unite the country if we convict Donald Trump and ban him from ever running for president ever again. They’re afraid we might offend racists.

The people who attacked the Capitol were instigated by Donald Trump. He spent nearly $3 million to rally terrorists and tell them to march to the Capitol. And do you know who says Donald Trump sent terrorists to attack the Capitol and stop a Constitutionally-mandated duty, disenfranchise millions of Americans, and stage a bloody coup attempt? The terrorists say that. Well, their lawyers are making that argument.

Every terrorist that has been arrested since the attack has made the defense that Donald Trump told them to do it. It’s the “my client’s guilty but he’s stupid” defense. It’s not a good defense for them and it’s not good for Donald Trump, who has a lot of experience with being stupid and guilty. Do you know who those terrorists are? They’re white nationalists.

If you’re still celebrating January 6 as some sort of MAGA holiday, you share it with racists. They’re making it a special day too, and they should own it. The mob that attacked the Capitol had a huge racist component to it. Mixed in with the mob were Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, the Groyper Army (not to be confuse with Trump’s Groper Army), Boogaloo Bois, Last Sons of Liberty, and DC Under Siege. Also in the mob were former members of defunct racist groups, like Anticom, the Rise Above movement, and fuckers carrying Confederate flags, and at least one asshole in a “Camp Auschwitz” T-shirt. I could be mistaken. Maybe it was a sweater.

You see that list of hate groups and it’ll be easier to sum it up by simply saying, “Nazis.” There were Nazis attacking the Capitol. Republicans are arguing that we can’t offend Nazis because if we do, then we can’t unite with Nazis.

Fuck Nazis. I don’t care if I offend them because I don’t want to unite with them. Unite with Nazis? No thank you. I don’t need their votes. I don’t need their support for any initiative or policy I want advanced. I don’t need their understanding and I don’t need to try to reason with Nazis. I don’t need them to read my cartoons. I don’t need them to buy my books or apparel. I don’t need them to click “like” on my Facebook posts. I don’t want to sing Kumbaya with Nazis.

So, convict Donald Trump. He instigated an act of terrorism from hate groups. He tried to overthrow the government. He tried to overturn an election. He obstructed Congress while it was doing an act mandated by the United States Constitution. Donald Trump is a criminal and a national security threat. Donald Trump attempted to become a fascist dictator of the United States. Convict him, ban him from running for office ever again, and then try him on sedition in federal courts. Then, throw his orange ass in prison. If that pisses off Nazis, then fuck Nazis.

And while we’re at it, fuck the Proud Boys, fuck the Oath Keepers, fuck the Groyper Army, fuck the Boogaloo Bois, fuck the Last Sons of Liberty, fuck DC Under Siege, fuck Republicans who are afraid of offending Nazis, fuck the KKK, fuck those fuckers who attacked the Capitol, fuck the guy carrying the Confederate flag through the Capitol, fuck that fucker in the Camp Auschwitz T-shirt, fuck white nationalists, fuck terrorists, and fuck Donald Trump. And if you’re afraid of offending Nazis and want to unite with them, then fuck you too.

And now, I’m all out of fucks to give.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Goodbye, Turkeys

cjones11272020

I’m breaking a couple of my rules with this cartoon. One is, I’ve drawn enough turkeys this year. The other is drawing a cartoon with a holiday theme that’s dated after the holiday. This is dated for Friday, which as you probably know, is AFTER Thanksgiving. But, I don’t make my clients embargo my cartoons by the dates, which means they can run them as soon as they get them.

But, I like drawing turkeys…and I like drawing Trump goons. And in my defense, how many more opportunities do I have to draw these people? Have you seen the type of people Joe Biden’s putting in his administration? Adults! How am I supposed to work with that?

In the Biden administration, I don’t see any inept son-in-laws wanting to create a back channel with Russia while taking loans from Arab kingdoms. I don’t see a daughter and her husband receiving security clearances when they don’t qualify. I don’t see a veep lavishing worship on the boss every minute while attracting flies. I don’t see an Attorney General turning the Justice Department into an agency that acts as the president’s personal attorney…which they did in going to court to block a civil suit against Trump by one of his sexual accusers. I don’t see a baby Goebbels in this administration writing policies that’ll kill immigrant children. I don’t see a goon going to prison whose sentence the president will commute. Say what you want about Hunter, but I don’t see a son in this administration as stupid as Donald Trump Jr. I don’t see a personal attorney spreading conspiracy theories outside a dildo store while his hair is leaking transmission fluid. I don’t see the president encouraging right-wing terrorists to shoot and murder protesters or telling them to “stand by.” I don’t see Nazis and Klansmen holding parades for this incoming president. I don’t even see hamburgers.

So, how much fun do I have left? It’s not like next Thanksgiving, when President Joe Biden is pardoning a turkey, I can compare it to him pardoning his goons, children, or even himself. Sheesh! What sort of presidency is this going to be for cartoonists? We have been spoiled by Donald Trump. With Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, I’m going to have to go back to writing my own material. Dammit all.

Sure. Joe Biden has gaffes but they’re not going to make up for a president (sic) who tries to redirect a hurricane with a Sharpie, or asks about nuking that hurricane, or advises people to rake forests, or talks about windmill cancer. Joe Biden has never gone to a debate and talked about the size of his penis. Seriously, people…you left me nothing to work with here.

Maybe our new Secretary of State will scream at a reporter and challenge her to find Ukraine on a map. No? He’s not an asshole? Aw, man!

Maybe Ashley Biden will sit in for the president at international summits, or get a bunch of Chinese patents, or be investigated for tax fraud. No? She’s not corrupt? Maybe Jill Biden will say “fuck Christmas.” I know. Not very likely when you replace a porn model with a teacher who has a doctorate.

Thanks a lot, America. Sure. You saved the nation from a stupid narcissistic racist reality TV show host and his grifting, and now we’ll stop putting babies in jail and ripping families apart. We’ll save the climate, perhaps stop palling around with dictatorships, and start using complete sentences again…but at what cost? Did you think about the cartoonists and comedians? Did you not think about the satire? No, you didn’t. I hope you’re proud of yourself, America.

It’s not fair. Even the democratic goons Biden could have hired, Donald Trump took. I don’t even have a Blagojevich with this administration. Shit.

So because of all that, you get another turkey cartoon. You can’t blame me. All I have left is an administration full of adults to try to make something out of with my cartoons.

And the fact Donald Trump and his goons will never go away or stop tweeting. Never ever ever. I guess there’s that.

Update: I went back and added Michael Flynn after he was pardoned today.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.